49187Comments (71)http%3A%2F%2Fdealbreaker.com%2F2011%2F08%2Fcaption-contest-wednesday-18%2FCaption+Contest+Wednesday2011-08-10+15%3A33%3A49Bess+Levinhttp%3A%2F%2Fdealbreaker.com%2F%3Fp%3D49187

1. 1
   Posted by Guest1 | August 10, 2011 at 11:37 AM

   Germans use colored bracelets, Americans use colored bandanas…

2. 2
   Posted by Guest | August 10, 2011 at 11:40 AM

   Jamie's Mind – Which one of these bitches is gonna make me a sandwich.

3. 3
   Posted by Texashedge | August 10, 2011 at 11:41 AM

   The crips have really gone downhill

4. 4
   Posted by Jamie D | August 10, 2011 at 11:45 AM

   Dear Dealbreaker,
   Get it straight! The girls from the Santa Clara Branch are in the background working as they should be. These are the flight attendants I tagged and brought out with my on my private jet.
   Suck on that Obama!

5. 5
   Posted by guest | August 10, 2011 at 11:45 AM

   no, no, no, no, no, no, yes, no, no, no (i see you sitting back there)

6. 6
   Posted by Biff | August 10, 2011 at 11:45 AM

   From right to left, female, standing:

   Yes.

   That's it.

7. 7
   Posted by Chase Branch Manager | August 10, 2011 at 11:46 AM

   Retail Banking… the NKI.

8. 8
   Posted by JDimon | August 10, 2011 at 11:46 AM

   NO, no, no, in the A$$, ….no, yes, no (JD), NO, hell yes.

9. 9
   Posted by Dr_Rosenrose | August 10, 2011 at 11:46 AM

   Jamie pictured with the Little Dimon Urban Achievers. Racially, he's pretty cool….

10. 10
    Posted by Bob Zmuda | August 10, 2011 at 11:48 AM

    Jamie Dimon making a few deposits at a local branch.

11. 11
    Posted by Lord Humongous | August 10, 2011 at 11:51 AM

    Now bitches, go out and make Daddy D his money before he needs to raise his pimp hand on ya

12. 12
    Posted by NAS Keflavik boi | August 10, 2011 at 11:52 AM

    Four mexicans, a big korean, a brace of filipinas and one blondie is the NKI

13. 13
    Posted by geoffgeoffgeoff | August 10, 2011 at 11:53 AM

    I love when girls do funny braids in their hair. (Far right, I'm looking at you.)

    -Lonely in Lower Manhattan

14. 14
    Posted by Guest | August 10, 2011 at 11:54 AM

    "All eyes on meee, in the center of the riiing, it's like a Circus… "

15. 15
    Posted by GwinnTro | August 10, 2011 at 12:00 PM

    Jamie D: Helping local unemployed strippers find work during tough times.

16. 16
    Posted by VonSloneker | August 10, 2011 at 12:04 PM

    Jamie Dimon showing excellent technique in a game of "Minority Representation Photo-Op BINGO!"

17. 17
    Posted by Newswire | August 10, 2011 at 12:05 PM

    JP Morgan Launches New Airline amid Global Turmoil. Dimon to personally oversee Flight Attendant Training (FAT) Program.

18. 18
    Posted by Tony Dungy's Son | August 10, 2011 at 12:06 PM

    Meanwhile, JPM announced their intent to expand their position in Chipotle (NYSE: CMG)

19. 19
    Posted by VonSloneker | August 10, 2011 at 12:06 PM

    Yes and proud we are of all of them…

20. 20
    Posted by Ken Lewis | August 10, 2011 at 12:08 PM

    He's sucking it in. You can tell by the belt curve.

21. 21
    Posted by Oooh Yeah | August 10, 2011 at 12:10 PM

    "I'm glad I wore the 8 inch heels, today."

    -J. Dimon

22. 22
    Posted by Press Released | August 10, 2011 at 12:10 PM

    "Chase CEO Dimon Personally Foreclosing on Defaulted Stewardess School; Likes To Be "In Touch" With "Real" Clients"

23. 23
    Posted by Last Man Standing | August 10, 2011 at 12:11 PM

    they're all wearing Retail Chase standard issue blue shirts. some of us still have to walk inside the branch if we want 50s and 100s. cant get those from the ATM

24. 24
    Posted by Tom | August 10, 2011 at 12:14 PM

    Diamond STUDded

25. 25
    Posted by Hamilton | August 10, 2011 at 12:14 PM

    Frankly, I prefer to be a Japanese pop idol.

    - Jamie Dimon

26. 26
    Posted by Jamie D | August 10, 2011 at 12:15 PM

    If you REALLY want 50s and 100s that bad you can sift through the septic tank of my Hamptons summer home. I wipe my ass with them

27. 27
    Posted by Guest | August 10, 2011 at 12:15 PM

    He is so HOT!

28. 28
    Posted by Guest | August 10, 2011 at 12:19 PM

    jamie dimon just blue himself

29. 29
    Posted by FinnHopKee | August 10, 2011 at 12:20 PM

    "Uniformed, uninformed bank staff welcome Bill Clinton, unaware it's their CEO"

30. 30
    Posted by trojan_ | August 10, 2011 at 12:20 PM

    santa clara is the home of the ucsc banana slugs

31. 31
    Posted by guest | August 10, 2011 at 12:21 PM

    Second from left was farting on first from lefts hand.

    If you look really closely at Jamie's penal region, he definitely popped a chub.

32. 32
    Posted by PermaGuestII | August 10, 2011 at 12:21 PM

    I'd expect nothing less of the CEO of a firm that went to the trouble to build an algo that changes the race/gender of the hand that shows you where to click to look up a number on the internal phone directory website.

33. 33
    Posted by Jamie Czervik | August 10, 2011 at 12:23 PM

    You're a lot of woman, you know that? …. wanna make 14 dollars the hard way?

34. 34
    Posted by PermaGuestII | August 10, 2011 at 12:23 PM

    Is that Mr. Met standing behind JD's left shoulder?

35. 35
    Posted by Finny McFinnigan | August 10, 2011 at 12:26 PM

    “We’re really not worried about the crisis in Europe – we hired these cows to eat all of our exposure to shaky debt.”

    –J.D.

36. 36
    Posted by @JustinUrrkunt | August 10, 2011 at 12:29 PM

    "Gator's bitches better be using jimmies!"

37. 37
    Posted by The Champ is here | August 10, 2011 at 12:30 PM

    California sunshine lights on illuminating my AAA+ balance sheet shaft, middle of the tent, asian girl arched over the baseball above her head, Maria Butaroma asking me questions about what I think of Meredith Whitney calling my house a "Zombie Bank".

    I turn to the camera, finish on the lens like a champ and say "how about she gets a taste of my T-virus then!"

38. 38
    Posted by Gozer | August 10, 2011 at 12:31 PM

    Jamie Dimon takes time out of his busy day to teach English as a second language

39. 39
    Posted by spanishmoon | August 10, 2011 at 12:42 PM

    Jamie: "Now I see why this Hooters went out of business……………….."

40. 40
    Posted by kenny_lingus | August 10, 2011 at 12:49 PM

    Take the balls off their heads and put 'em on their chins where they belong.

41. 41
    Posted by guest | August 10, 2011 at 12:51 PM

    He’ll fuck YES and you all know it.

42. 42
    Posted by lTea | August 10, 2011 at 12:56 PM

    Look, 17 boobs!

43. 43
    Posted by guest | August 10, 2011 at 1:02 PM

    The most interesting man in the world lives vicariously through himself.
    Stay thirsty, my friends

44. 44
    Posted by Gundlach's Dream | August 10, 2011 at 1:02 PM

    Jamie: "Hi, I'm here for the gangbang"

45. 45
    Posted by I want to play too! | August 10, 2011 at 1:03 PM

    No, Maybe, No, NO, No, No, Yes, Yes, Yes

46. 46
    Posted by ahahah | August 10, 2011 at 1:09 PM

    "Wait, why'd we fire a retail banker for being too attractive again?"

47. 47
    Posted by Guest | August 10, 2011 at 1:11 PM

    Bet he's cute in tennis whites!

48. 48
    Posted by Seamless Guy | August 10, 2011 at 1:14 PM

    wrong bank ass clown

49. 49
    Posted by guest | August 10, 2011 at 1:15 PM

    EPIC FAIL! UCSC = Univ of Kommunist Kalifornia Santa Cruz where ex Black Panther Bitch Angela Davis draws down a $200K salary as a dean. They used to not issue formal grades only pass/fail in their courses so all of the challenged students could bring home a sheep skin after 4 years of $40K a year babysitting.
    Santa Clara University is a much better school, run by the Catholic Church

50. 50
    Posted by trojan_ | August 10, 2011 at 1:24 PM

    i was making fun of their weird, lameass mascot you crazy dipshit

51. 51
    Posted by GuestinShow | August 10, 2011 at 1:26 PM

    Have you ever seen a crisp 50 dollar bill?

52. 52
    Posted by diamondbuffet | August 10, 2011 at 1:35 PM

    Photo credit: Warren Buffett, next in line for a signed copy of Jamie Dimon's latest shareholder report reading.

53. 53
    Posted by CurrencyTrader | August 10, 2011 at 1:36 PM

    Lights OFF, slather soy sauce all over motives, hot tub full of General Tao sauce, blonde one wears an SS uniform with a snorkel mask on in the tub circling like a U-boat, strap swinging harness on Japanese ones to practice overhead crotchless dive bombing, take turns bayoneting Chinese ones during the whole spectacle, accidentally drop cigar into tub, realize Tao sauce is flammable, tip over flaming hot tub trying to escape, only suriver, relocate JP headquarters to Japan.

54. 54
    Posted by guest | August 10, 2011 at 1:48 PM

    This is what happens when your stock options lose 30% of their value, you go from elite models to omega moos.

55. 55
    Posted by wannabe | August 10, 2011 at 1:59 PM

    I've got hoe's, in different country codes.

    - Chicago back office

56. 56
    Posted by NattyLax | August 10, 2011 at 2:05 PM

    MLIB

57. 57
    Posted by Meme-ster | August 10, 2011 at 2:12 PM

    God bless you!

58. 58
    Posted by Also A Guest | August 10, 2011 at 2:48 PM

    Jamie: "Damn, I wonder if that "Too hot for Citi" chick still looking for a job. This is pathetic.

59. 59
    Posted by El Duderino | August 10, 2011 at 2:58 PM

    FTW

60. 60
    Posted by Booger Takashi | August 10, 2011 at 3:01 PM

    Nice Revenge of the Nerds reference. What is hair pie?

61. 61
    Posted by Warren Jeffs | August 10, 2011 at 3:05 PM

    No (too old), no (too old), no (too old), no (too old), no (too old), no (too old), no (too old), and no (too old).
    What is this? A fucking grandmothers convention?!?

62. 62
    Posted by Guest | August 10, 2011 at 3:06 PM

    Santa Clara and Santa Cruz are different places…UCSC is in Santa Cruz, not Santa Clara. Your comment was not only useless, but also completely wrong.

63. 63
    Posted by CurrencyTrader | August 10, 2011 at 3:55 PM

    As I guy who lives in San Francisco I confirm this. However, you miss points for saying the words "epic fail" in your retort.

64. 64
    Posted by Jamie | August 10, 2011 at 4:45 PM

    They told me in high school I would never get hot girls. Look whose laughing now.

65. 65
    Posted by Sleeper | August 10, 2011 at 4:48 PM

    Dear Diary,

    Jackpot!

    -JD

66. 66
    Posted by Owen Wilson Sux | August 10, 2011 at 5:25 PM

    Finally, someone who knows how to use a Hall Pass.

67. 67
    Posted by @GreatNeighbor | August 10, 2011 at 6:15 PM

    They don't know how much I make, do they? It's literally hundreds of times more than all of them put together.

68. 68
    Posted by Z.. | August 10, 2011 at 6:32 PM

    Chase says Cheese

69. 69
    Posted by Anonymous | August 10, 2011 at 7:38 PM

    Bunga Bunga

70. 70
    Posted by San Franciscan | August 10, 2011 at 7:54 PM

    As a VC in San Francisco I call BS on this guy^^^
    Real (currency) traders live in New York.

71. 71
    Posted by erby | August 10, 2011 at 11:41 PM

    i wear jeans when i meet the plebians, that way they think i'm one of them (who wants to listen to some "dick gettin' wet music!")