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Dominique Strauss-Kahn Gets Off, As Did Everyone Else Who Stayed In His Room At The Sofitel

There’s this: “A judge formally ordered the dismissal of all criminal charges against Dominique Strauss-Kahn on Tuesda.” And there’s this:

In a motion to dismiss rape charges against Dominique Strauss-Kahn, Manhattan prosecutors today reported that an analysis of carpet stains in the Frenchman’s $3000-per-night Sofitel hotel room “contained the semen and DNA” of three unknown men, while a stain on the room’s wallpaper contained the semen and DNA of a fourth unknown man…As for the source of that stray semen, investigators noted that, “the circumstances under which the unidentified DNA was deposited are unrelated” to the encounter between the 62-year-old Strauss-Kahn and hotel maid Nafissatou Diallo.

Judge Orders Dismissal Of Charges Against Strauss-Kahn [NYT]
Turns Out That DSK’s Swanky Hotel Suite Was Stained With The Semen Of Four Other Guys [TSG]

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39 Responses to “Dominique Strauss-Kahn Gets Off, As Did Everyone Else Who Stayed In His Room At The Sofitel”

  1. Biff says:

    Seamen going stray? Call the Navy!

    • Hot4Biff says:

      I'm with you dude. Whenever I travel on business without my wife, I try to stay in Marriott brand hotels, including the "Courtyard" brand, and I jerk off all night while reading the "Bluejacket Manual."

      I try to rub traces of my jism all over places (like light switches, phone buttons, hair dryers, etc.) that maids are unlikely to clean but that will be touched by the next burly man that stays in the room. Then I jerk off a few times thinking about Bonobo Bros' fingers lingering on my sweet sperm, collecting traces on his fingertips before he licks his fingers to turn the page of his J. Crew catalog. Ouch, that hurts. I need to bend down under my desk right here a pull it off.

  2. minus 1 says:

    We had the same problem

    -Austrian forensics unit, Munich Re case study

  3. Long_John_Son says:

    I wonder how many unknown sources of stray semen are in a $150-per-night room, especially considering that's more within my budget…

    – UBS analyst

  4. A. Weiner says:

    Disgusting.

  5. Biff says:

    Just had an earthquake here in CT. Was just told that it was felt in staten Island, too.

  6. HAM05 says:

    shaking was the collective vaginal tremors of maids in lux hotels around the world, right?

  7. Hot Rabbit says:

    There's no such thing as "Turndown" service, baby.

  8. Cut Me says:

    It was shaking more than suite 2806 at the Sofitel Hotel

  9. Sell Side Smitty says:

    I felt the earth move.

  10. Tyler Durden says:

    Breaking news: ZeroHedge reporting that the 5.9 magnitude earthquake that shook the east coast was summoned by Goldman Sachs during a ritual ceremony around 2:00 Eastern … more to follow

  11. Nick Cage CFA says:

    Protect Bess! Protect Bess, my god her inbox is a god damn national treasure!

  12. Luddite Trader says:

    Has anyone heard anything about an eathquake on the East Coast???

  13. Dr. FeelGood says:

    Ignore it. Maria went out for her afternoon walk.

  14. DSK says:

    Where is hotel receipt guy when you need him?

  15. Bandersnatch says:

    Was Jackson Pollock the interior decorator?

  16. inlovewithpmco says:

    pmco , you me at the sofitel, exchanging dna?

  17. Stillthrowingup says:

    Regardless the man is short waisted, barrel chested, dumpy and slimy looking with tiny feet- how do you call this guy over sexed he is totally gross looking. And did anyone see what SHE looked like? This guy and Schwartzneger should get together they have the same disgusting revolting taste in women……omggggggggggggggg.

  18. Tweetie Bird says:

    Now the beauties can retire. Isn't America a wonderful place?? Do they pay tax on the money they make in the courtroom??

  19. Alpha_Bets says:

    Wait a second, I saw this episode of CSI! He had a bunch of dudes over to his room for a circle jerk earlier in the week just to throw off the evidence trail for the REAL action. Boom, nailed it!

    -Expert CBS Procedural Crime Solver