• 23 Aug 2011 at 1:26 PM

Dominique Strauss-Kahn Gets Off, As Did Everyone Else Who Stayed In His Room At The Sofitel

By

There’s this: “A judge formally ordered the dismissal of all criminal charges against Dominique Strauss-Kahn on Tuesda.” And there’s this:

In a motion to dismiss rape charges against Dominique Strauss-Kahn, Manhattan prosecutors today reported that an analysis of carpet stains in the Frenchman’s $3000-per-night Sofitel hotel room “contained the semen and DNA” of three unknown men, while a stain on the room’s wallpaper contained the semen and DNA of a fourth unknown man…As for the source of that stray semen, investigators noted that, “the circumstances under which the unidentified DNA was deposited are unrelated” to the encounter between the 62-year-old Strauss-Kahn and hotel maid Nafissatou Diallo.

Judge Orders Dismissal Of Charges Against Strauss-Kahn [NYT]
Turns Out That DSK’s Swanky Hotel Suite Was Stained With The Semen Of Four Other Guys [TSG]

Comments (39)

  1. 1
    Posted by Biff | August 23, 2011 at 1:31 PM

    Seamen going stray? Call the Navy!

  2. 2
    Posted by minus 1 | August 23, 2011 at 1:33 PM

    We had the same problem

    -Austrian forensics unit, Munich Re case study

  3. 3
    Posted by Long_John_Son | August 23, 2011 at 1:38 PM

    I wonder how many unknown sources of stray semen are in a $150-per-night room, especially considering that's more within my budget…

    - UBS analyst

  4. 4
    Posted by guest | August 23, 2011 at 1:46 PM

    probably not as much as you think. these rich fucks like spitzer and dsk like the thrill of not wrapping it up

  5. 5
    Posted by A. Weiner | August 23, 2011 at 1:55 PM

    Disgusting.

  6. 6
    Posted by Biff | August 23, 2011 at 2:02 PM

    Just had an earthquake here in CT. Was just told that it was felt in staten Island, too.

  7. 7
    Posted by HAM05 | August 23, 2011 at 2:04 PM

    shaking was the collective vaginal tremors of maids in lux hotels around the world, right?

  8. 8
    Posted by Biff | August 23, 2011 at 2:07 PM

    Yep

  9. 9
    Posted by Biff | August 23, 2011 at 2:09 PM

    Mag 5.9 in Virginia. 17 minutes ago.
    http://www.google.com/search?q=earth%20quake&…

  10. 10
    Posted by Hot Rabbit | August 23, 2011 at 2:14 PM

    There's no such thing as "Turndown" service, baby.

  11. 11
    Posted by Cut Me | August 23, 2011 at 2:15 PM

    It was shaking more than suite 2806 at the Sofitel Hotel

  12. 12
    Posted by Sell Side Smitty | August 23, 2011 at 2:17 PM

    I felt the earth move.

  13. 13
    Posted by D. Garman | August 23, 2011 at 2:19 PM

    I knew the reverberations of this case would be felt up and down the East Coast.

  14. 14
    Posted by Biff | August 23, 2011 at 2:27 PM

    I want to do it with with Virginia again. When Virginia cums it's bigger than Nagasaki.

  15. 15
    Posted by Tyler Durden | August 23, 2011 at 2:28 PM

    Breaking news: ZeroHedge reporting that the 5.9 magnitude earthquake that shook the east coast was summoned by Goldman Sachs during a ritual ceremony around 2:00 Eastern … more to follow

  16. 16
    Posted by UBS Geo-Physicist | August 23, 2011 at 2:37 PM

    How does felt cause an earthquake?

  17. 17
    Posted by Nick Cage CFA | August 23, 2011 at 2:39 PM

    Protect Bess! Protect Bess, my god her inbox is a god damn national treasure!

  18. 18
    Posted by Luddite Trader | August 23, 2011 at 2:45 PM

    Has anyone heard anything about an eathquake on the East Coast???

  19. 19
    Posted by Dr. FeelGood | August 23, 2011 at 2:47 PM

    Ignore it. Maria went out for her afternoon walk.

  20. 20
    Posted by DSK | August 23, 2011 at 2:49 PM

    Where is hotel receipt guy when you need him?

  21. 21
    Posted by Bandersnatch | August 23, 2011 at 2:53 PM

    Was Jackson Pollock the interior decorator?

  22. 22
    Posted by Charlie Sheen | August 23, 2011 at 3:12 PM

    Winning.

  23. 23
    Posted by inlovewithpmco | August 23, 2011 at 3:20 PM

    pmco , you me at the sofitel, exchanging dna?

  24. 24
    Posted by FKApmco | August 23, 2011 at 4:41 PM

    Not until your IntenseDebate Reputation Meter hits 69.

  25. 25
    Posted by PermaGuestII | August 23, 2011 at 4:46 PM

    Guy's got a long way to go.

  26. 26
    Posted by pmcoNeedsToStay@69 | August 23, 2011 at 4:58 PM

    Know why I love you, Perma? Because you never miss a trick.

  27. 27
    Posted by inlovewithpmco | August 23, 2011 at 5:31 PM

    cmon, help me out people, i need a meeting with pmco

  28. 28
    Posted by O. Gruebel | August 23, 2011 at 6:46 PM

    Sorry, too pathetic (-1)

  29. 29
    Posted by Stillthrowingup | August 23, 2011 at 7:36 PM

    Regardless the man is short waisted, barrel chested, dumpy and slimy looking with tiny feet- how do you call this guy over sexed he is totally gross looking. And did anyone see what SHE looked like? This guy and Schwartzneger should get together they have the same disgusting revolting taste in women……omggggggggggggggg.

  30. 30
    Posted by Tweetie Bird | August 23, 2011 at 7:37 PM

    Now the beauties can retire. Isn't America a wonderful place?? Do they pay tax on the money they make in the courtroom??

  31. 31
    Posted by Alpha_Bets | August 23, 2011 at 8:07 PM

    Wait a second, I saw this episode of CSI! He had a bunch of dudes over to his room for a circle jerk earlier in the week just to throw off the evidence trail for the REAL action. Boom, nailed it!

    -Expert CBS Procedural Crime Solver

  32. 32
    Posted by guestw | August 23, 2011 at 11:02 PM

    Budapest, you idiot.
    - Hungarian forensics unit

  33. 33
    Posted by MeVC | August 24, 2011 at 3:06 AM

    In the meantime you can spank it to a bigger version of pmco's avatar:
    http://pics.spaceghetto.st/images/sally20fie.jpg

  34. 34
    Posted by inlovewithpmco | August 24, 2011 at 7:47 AM

    i already have been

  35. 35
    Posted by pmcoNeedsToStay@69 | August 24, 2011 at 10:24 AM

    Made me guffaw. Well done, ILP. xoxo

  36. 36
    Posted by MeVC | August 24, 2011 at 1:16 PM

    I think fate will keep you at 66.

  37. 37
    Posted by Jacob Zuma | August 24, 2011 at 1:33 PM

    I did it and got away with it…. so did some of my other international colleagues
    Jacob
    http://www.france24.com/en/20110516-sex-scandal-politician-nothing-new-strauss-kahn-clinton-katsav-spitzer-profumo-zuma

  38. 38
    Posted by inlovewithpmco | August 24, 2011 at 1:35 PM

    I cannot help it, if the haters want to deny pmco of the pleasure of my company

  39. 39
    Posted by Hot4Biff | August 24, 2011 at 7:33 PM

    I'm with you dude. Whenever I travel on business without my wife, I try to stay in Marriott brand hotels, including the "Courtyard" brand, and I jerk off all night while reading the "Bluejacket Manual."

    I try to rub traces of my jism all over places (like light switches, phone buttons, hair dryers, etc.) that maids are unlikely to clean but that will be touched by the next burly man that stays in the room. Then I jerk off a few times thinking about Bonobo Bros' fingers lingering on my sweet sperm, collecting traces on his fingertips before he licks his fingers to turn the page of his J. Crew catalog. Ouch, that hurts. I need to bend down under my desk right here a pull it off.