Just a quick programming note for those of you who failed to mark it down on your calendars: please be advised that tomorrow is George Soros’ birthday (his 81st to be exact).

Since this year’s “birthday week” got a kick in the pants earlier today, it would be nice if you could go the extra mile to show him you care. There will be a pound sterling-shaped piñata at the Soros office as usual but this time we need to do more. Since it’s often difficult to come up with gifts for people who seemingly have everything they could want, we suggest symbolic gestures that would probably mean a lot.  A currency he could have his way with. A small share in the “one that got away,” The Washington Nationals. A new lamp. These are just jumping off points- better suggestions are welcome at this time.

Comments (30)

  1. Posted by Guy who hates bdays | August 11, 2011 at 4:09 PM

    Dear George,

    Happy Birthday. Nice Bitch Tits!

  2. Posted by Biff | August 11, 2011 at 4:11 PM

    I don't think he'll make it.

  3. Posted by Wink, Nod, Wink, Nod | August 11, 2011 at 4:14 PM

    The best gift to get someone who has every thing would be some thing he would like to eat.

  4. Posted by Texashedge | August 11, 2011 at 4:15 PM

    Board shorts

  5. Posted by guest | August 11, 2011 at 4:17 PM

    Nine 9-year-olds.
    -Eggstein

  6. Posted by Last Man Standing | August 11, 2011 at 4:19 PM

    holy shit, i was going to comment on the bathing suit until i noticed the hat.
    c'mon george, a woman's full coverage hat?

  7. Posted by Last Man Standing | August 11, 2011 at 4:20 PM

    he cant even get her to wear a bikini for a $2mm apt? she can forget about the 50mm

  8. Posted by FKApmco | August 11, 2011 at 4:21 PM

    And a cover up…please.

  9. Posted by Pete from the Bush | August 11, 2011 at 4:28 PM

    How about a monogrammed peanut shell and a rubber band to hold his package?

    You just can't unsee certain things….

  10. Posted by Guest | August 11, 2011 at 4:32 PM

    The $50MM was for me to agree to shave my 'moustache'. He complained about somehow not beign able to get a boner…

    - Adriana

  11. Posted by Guest | August 11, 2011 at 4:33 PM

    being

  12. Posted by I'm a Dude | August 11, 2011 at 4:33 PM

    i think its actually a swim diaper

  13. Posted by StewiebutcallmeStew | August 11, 2011 at 4:34 PM

    It …moved?

    -Fan of the Golden Girls

  14. Posted by barack | August 11, 2011 at 4:42 PM

    Your muffin top looks really hot crowning your moose knuckles, George.

  15. Posted by Shawn | August 11, 2011 at 4:42 PM

    Let's chip in and get him Viagra so he doesn't have to piss on his shoes.

  16. Posted by Lots of luck | August 11, 2011 at 4:44 PM

    wood he or woody?

  17. Posted by Alt_EST | August 11, 2011 at 4:45 PM

    You should loan him your bikini top. That's a 2-for-1…less of him, more of you.

  18. Posted by Last Man Standing | August 11, 2011 at 5:03 PM

    if anyone remembers (or even heard of) Vic Niederhoffer – former head trader at Soros, who blew up twice after he went on his own, he writes in his book on the very first page in the Preface when speaking of Soros frolicking on the beach in a bikini brief :
    " The size of the bathing apparel is inversely proportionate to wealth and age"

  19. Posted by im new here | August 11, 2011 at 5:42 PM

    His tits are way bigger

  20. Posted by 2_Small_2_Bail | August 11, 2011 at 5:55 PM

    Lesson for you young whippersnappers,
    Despite having a body that resembles a bag of milk, at my age penis size is irrelevant. Just buy really tight bathing suits, cram your huge sack in there, and voila…looks like a huge package.

    -G Soros

  21. Posted by Day Trader | August 11, 2011 at 8:00 PM

    My nuts are in a bunch just looking at this, and I'm naked.

  22. Posted by girl in bikini | August 11, 2011 at 8:30 PM

    those tits never get old

  23. Posted by Steel Reserve 40oz | August 11, 2011 at 8:59 PM

    A UBSer still at the office?

  24. Posted by PermaGuestII | August 11, 2011 at 10:05 PM

    I'm thinking more one of those 1920's things that cover everything between the knees, the neck and the elbows. Maybe embroidered with little arrow-cross and hammer-and-sickle emblems to remind him of the Magyarorszag of his boyhood.

  25. Posted by FinnHopKee | August 11, 2011 at 10:26 PM

    Unfortunately the only thing Niederhoffer will be remembered for is producing daughters with amusing names.

  26. Posted by Talk my book | August 12, 2011 at 12:45 PM

    Who lost on this trade? Old man with money or gold-digger?

  27. Posted by Uncle Georgie | August 17, 2011 at 8:19 PM

    I’d like you to meet my niece.

  28. Posted by Kissie | August 17, 2011 at 8:21 PM

    I can’t resist a man who wears a hat and buys me a penthouse.

  29. Posted by Guest | August 17, 2011 at 8:22 PM

    Cover me in oil dahling and don’t get oil on my hat.

  30. Posted by FactNotRhetoric | February 5, 2012 at 9:09 AM

    Wish senile George Soros (used to be Schwartz) a happy JEWISH Birthday. Help him celebrate with his Jewish Birthday with his Muslim Brotherhood buddies (that hate all Jews) that he paid to start the Occupy Riots.

    RIOTS => OBAMA MARTIAL LAW DICTATORSHIP => SUSPEND THE CONGRESS AND THE CONSTITUTION => SOROS OWNS AMERICA

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