Last week, Leon Cooperman held a conference call with Omega Advisors’ investors, in which he expressed frustration at a lack of palatable presidential candidates who have what it takes to make this country great. So dire is the situation that Cooperman told them that he’d just have to run for president himself. Was he kidding? No, he was not.
Cooperman insists that he was not kidding.
Why then, if he was so dead serious, has he not announced his candidacy? He was planning on hanging up the phone and having his secretary send out an email to his entire address book, importance marked ‘high as fuck,’ to do just that, but his investors held him back.
Cooperman…was talked out of it by his spooked investors, who urged him to continue managing their money.
While he sadly won’t be making a play for the Oval Office, Cooperman did take the time to jot down a couple of his ideas that any candidates are free to crib, entitled “Presidential Plan.”
No. 1 on his list: Get all troops out of Iraq and Afghanistan. He then would give every returning soldier a free four-year education at a college or trade school of his or her choice. Number two: He would use some of the savings from leaving those two wars to create a Works Progress Administration, similar to the one established by Roosevelt during the Great Depression, to rebuild the nation’s infrastructure. Cooperman also wants to unleash the domestic energy industry to develop supplies and reserves, with the goal of ending dependency on foreign oil. In his fourth point, he asserts that government spending should be limited to a growth rate of at least 1 percent below the level of nominal GDP growth.
No. 5: Freeze entitlements and raise the Social Security retirement age to 70. However, he would exclude those who work at hard-labor jobs such as coal mining. In his sixth point, Cooperman would also levy a 10 percent surtax for three years on individuals earning more than $500,000 per year. No. 8: Tackle health care in a serious way. He offers no specific recommendations, though. Last, he would ban or curtail high-frequency trading and limit the trading of credit default swaps to those that own the underlying bonds. “The high-frequency traders are turning the best capital market in the world into a casino and scaring the public,” he told his clients. “This is not in the public interest.”
Leon Cooperman’s 9-Point Presidential Plan [Institutional Investor]
despite the fact that he is fat a$#ho*e, these proposals are reasonable
how is he an asshole?
Man, Ernest Borgnine looks fantastic (i.e. alive)
Looks like the cab driver in Escape from New York.
Yes, he is fat asshole. Just like I'm fat cobra.
Step 7: ???
Step 10: Profit!
Cooperman…was talked out of it by his spooked investors, who reminded him he's jewish and that we live in the United States
I have a better, eleven step plan for prosperity… no ??? involved:
1. Never let no one know how much dough you hold
2. Never let them know your next move
3. Never trust nobody
4. Never get high on your own supply
5. Never sell no crack where you rest at
6. that god damn credit? dead it
7. Keep your family and business completely separated
8. Never keep no weight on you
9. If you ain't getting bagged stay the fuck from police
10. Consignment
11. Profit
You gotta get in Obama's ass, Leon. You pull the asshole open, step into the asshole, close the door behind you. Then you take a spray can, right? Spray "Leon was here", "wash me" all that shit, fuck his whole asshole up. Get a snickers bar, paper, throw that on the floor, fuck his whole asshole up. Then you open up that asshole one more time, step out his ass, then leave that motherfucker wide open so he know you've been there.
-the real Leon
If anything, it should be leaked by charlie rose first!
More like Pooperman!
You know, maybe we're not seeing the presidency because one of us is a J-O-O.
Cooperman for President!
i.e. Ernest Borgnine. Totally agree, see above
That 25 year stint at goldman will be convincing
I've never even heard of this schmuck, and know absolutely nothing about him …. so far he's the frontrunner for my vote.
Ernie is 94 and still kicking VS.
I'm on board unless hidden Point 10 is killing The Ben Bernank.
So he is, wow. I should have known he'd live forever…
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/08/14/ernest-b...
#8, I applaud you.
we're not on board unles it IS!!
No way, he's much more Zero Mostel
Busy editing Outlook to allow for the "High as Fuck" importance flag.
Is he wearing a cardboard belt?
Can we all please admit that anyone who claims he can solve every problem confronting the world's largest economy, third most populous country, and fifth-largest nation by area, simply by following "ten easy steps" as laid out in a 10-slide powerpoint presentation, is either a) delusional, b) a charlatan, or c) both??
F(.)(.)ck b*tches, get money!