Back in May, Rengen Rajaratnam, little brother of Raj, made a simple request. For friends of the Galleon founder to send character letters to the judge in an effort to convince him to be lenient in sentencing. Rengen helpfully included some links on the proper formatting to use when drafting such missives and considering all the lives Raj had touched, it shouldn’t have proved too difficult a task. Was it so much to ask that people recall, for instance, the tears of joy he brought to their eyes when he paid an employee to allow herself to be tased? Or the midget gags? Apparently yes because his legal team has been forced to turn to plan B: breaking the news that Raj is dying of a disease the likes of which you can’t even imagine.

Rajaratnam will perish in prison from a “unique constellation of ailments ravaging his body” if given a lengthy prison term when punished for insider trading next month, his legal team argued in a lengthy court filing yesterday. As such, the 54-year-old Galleon Group founder deserves a sentence “well below” the 20 years spelled out in the federal sentencing guidelines, according to his lawyers.

Does the government really want this kind of blood on their hands, not to mention be responsible for the inevitable mental break down the orderly forced to feed Raj his chicken soup** with undoubtedly suffer?

Lawyers: Prison Could Kill Raj [NYP]

Related: High-Priced Raj Rajaratnam Attorney John Dowd Earned His Fees With Behind The Scenes Rhetorical Questions About “Sucking” Prosecutors’ “Teats”

**It’s the only thing that makes him feel better!

34 comments (hidden to protect delicate sensibilities)
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Comments (34)

  1. Posted by Dr. Drew | August 10, 2011 at 11:16 AM

    How will this ailment affect his commitment to Celebrity Rehab 4: Two & Twenty Edition?

  2. Posted by Pete from the Bush | August 10, 2011 at 11:20 AM

    Let's put him away for 19 years and see how it goes.

  3. Posted by lenny | August 10, 2011 at 11:22 AM

    His first night in the joint, Raj Rajaratnam cost me two packs of cigarettes. He never made a sound.

  4. Posted by Your Warden | August 10, 2011 at 11:27 AM

    “unique constellation of ailments ravaging his body” – There is a good chance the existing ailments will join forces with other ailments once other inmates get THEIR chance at ravaging his body

    "Avoid the Clap" – Jimmy Duggan

  5. Posted by Dr_Rosenrose | August 10, 2011 at 11:27 AM

    Raj's lawyers are also prepared with their next appeal, that only getting three meals per day is cruel and unusual punishment.

  6. Posted by None | August 10, 2011 at 11:30 AM

    I guess you could say I liked raj the moment I saw him

    The sissies

  7. Posted by guest | August 10, 2011 at 11:30 AM

    "Unique constellation of ailments" are either:
    - code words for "relentless serial rapists"
    or
    - athlete's foot/jungle rot/gout that has fully progressed due to lack of tuna with extra mayo.

    either way, he is being ravaged.

  8. Posted by @Panic_Panic_ | August 10, 2011 at 11:33 AM

    Does my AIDS make me look fat in this jumpsuit?

  9. Posted by GuestinShow | August 10, 2011 at 11:40 AM

    This fuckin guy…

  10. Posted by trojan_ | August 10, 2011 at 11:47 AM

    I wish I could tell you that Raj fought the good fight, and the Sisters let him be. I wish I could tell you that – but federal minimum security prison is no fairy-tale world.

  11. Posted by NAS Keflavik boi | August 10, 2011 at 11:56 AM

    There's nothin wrong with Raji, he's just an institutional man, I tell ya. In here he's a punjab prince, an educated man. On the outside he's just another overfed babu, probably can't even get a hack license…

  12. Posted by hangtime79 | August 10, 2011 at 12:09 PM

    Diabetes is not a terminal disease, but you do have to avoid sweets and the buffet every one in awhile.

  13. Posted by Snoring | August 10, 2011 at 12:36 PM

    I bet I could ravage his body in way less than 20 years…

    –Bernie "Pickle Jar" Madoff

  14. Posted by Justin | August 10, 2011 at 12:37 PM

    Good thing he likes chicken soup, it's good for the soul.

  15. Posted by Torquil | August 10, 2011 at 12:38 PM

    Doing less than 19 of a 20 year bit is the nki…

    This fickin guy is getting ravaged.

  16. Posted by Braaap! | August 10, 2011 at 1:06 PM

    Since when is limiting someone's food intake to sustainable levels a bad thing?

  17. Posted by cordell walker | August 10, 2011 at 2:08 PM

    his top defense argument should be a string of highly distinguished experts from the academia on the stand, to confirm that in the strong form of market efficiency (and of course, markets are) corporate insiders and holders of material nonpublic information can't make abnormal profits. raj should be set free.

  18. Posted by Guest | August 10, 2011 at 2:16 PM

    If they ever try to trace any of Raj's accounts, they're gonna end up chasing Danielle Chiesi

  19. Posted by GUEST | August 10, 2011 at 4:05 PM

    no wine in the joint? only eat half the pate on your plate and leave the little gerkin

  20. Posted by GUEST | August 10, 2011 at 4:06 PM

    a good case of reality has finally set in your honor.

  21. Posted by GUEST | August 10, 2011 at 4:07 PM

    Bernie you know Raj. Raj you remember Bernie.

  22. Posted by Guest | August 10, 2011 at 5:48 PM

    I didn't know being allergic to jail was a defense.

  23. Posted by bartlebythescrivener | August 10, 2011 at 9:10 PM

    Once he dies, Exxon will attach a rig to his gut.

  24. Posted by Don Glover | August 10, 2011 at 11:00 PM

    any bets on when he has to start wearing diapers?

  25. Posted by Don Glover | August 11, 2011 at 9:09 PM

    What about how many stiches itll take to sow up that butthole?

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    Was it so much to ask that people recall, for instance, the tears of joy he brought to their eyes when he paid an employee to allow herself to be tased?

  34. Posted by teethwhiteningkits | March 29, 2014 at 2:35 PM

    Does the government really want this kind of blood on their hands, not to mention be responsible for the inevitable mental break down the orderly forced to feed Raj his chicken soup** with undoubtedly suffer?