News

Raj Rajaratnam’s Health Far Too Delicate For Lengthy Prison Stay

Back in May, Rengen Rajaratnam, little brother of Raj, made a simple request. For friends of the Galleon founder to send character letters to the judge in an effort to convince him to be lenient in sentencing. Rengen helpfully included some links on the proper formatting to use when drafting such missives and considering all the lives Raj had touched, it shouldn’t have proved too difficult a task. Was it so much to ask that people recall, for instance, the tears of joy he brought to their eyes when he paid an employee to allow herself to be tased? Or the midget gags? Apparently yes because his legal team has been forced to turn to plan B: breaking the news that Raj is dying of a disease the likes of which you can’t even imagine.

Rajaratnam will perish in prison from a “unique constellation of ailments ravaging his body” if given a lengthy prison term when punished for insider trading next month, his legal team argued in a lengthy court filing yesterday. As such, the 54-year-old Galleon Group founder deserves a sentence “well below” the 20 years spelled out in the federal sentencing guidelines, according to his lawyers.

Does the government really want this kind of blood on their hands, not to mention be responsible for the inevitable mental break down the orderly forced to feed Raj his chicken soup** with undoubtedly suffer?

Lawyers: Prison Could Kill Raj [NYP]

Related: High-Priced Raj Rajaratnam Attorney John Dowd Earned His Fees With Behind The Scenes Rhetorical Questions About “Sucking” Prosecutors’ “Teats”

**It’s the only thing that makes him feel better!

34 comments
(hidden for your protection)
Show all comments

34 Responses to “Raj Rajaratnam’s Health Far Too Delicate For Lengthy Prison Stay”

  1. Dr. Drew says:

    How will this ailment affect his commitment to Celebrity Rehab 4: Two & Twenty Edition?

  2. Pete from the Bush says:

    Let's put him away for 19 years and see how it goes.

  3. lenny says:

    His first night in the joint, Raj Rajaratnam cost me two packs of cigarettes. He never made a sound.

    • trojan_ says:

      I wish I could tell you that Raj fought the good fight, and the Sisters let him be. I wish I could tell you that – but federal minimum security prison is no fairy-tale world.

      • NAS Keflavik boi says:

        There's nothin wrong with Raji, he's just an institutional man, I tell ya. In here he's a punjab prince, an educated man. On the outside he's just another overfed babu, probably can't even get a hack license…

  4. Your Warden says:

    “unique constellation of ailments ravaging his body” – There is a good chance the existing ailments will join forces with other ailments once other inmates get THEIR chance at ravaging his body

    "Avoid the Clap" – Jimmy Duggan

  5. Dr_Rosenrose says:

    Raj's lawyers are also prepared with their next appeal, that only getting three meals per day is cruel and unusual punishment.

  6. None says:

    I guess you could say I liked raj the moment I saw him

    The sissies

  7. guest says:

    "Unique constellation of ailments" are either:
    – code words for "relentless serial rapists"
    or
    – athlete's foot/jungle rot/gout that has fully progressed due to lack of tuna with extra mayo.

    either way, he is being ravaged.

  8. Does my AIDS make me look fat in this jumpsuit?

  9. GuestinShow says:

    This fuckin guy…

  10. hangtime79 says:

    Diabetes is not a terminal disease, but you do have to avoid sweets and the buffet every one in awhile.

  11. Snoring says:

    I bet I could ravage his body in way less than 20 years…

    –Bernie "Pickle Jar" Madoff

  12. Justin says:

    Good thing he likes chicken soup, it's good for the soul.

  13. Torquil says:

    Doing less than 19 of a 20 year bit is the nki…

    This fickin guy is getting ravaged.

  14. Braaap! says:

    Since when is limiting someone's food intake to sustainable levels a bad thing?

  15. cordell walker says:

    his top defense argument should be a string of highly distinguished experts from the academia on the stand, to confirm that in the strong form of market efficiency (and of course, markets are) corporate insiders and holders of material nonpublic information can't make abnormal profits. raj should be set free.

  16. GUEST says:

    a good case of reality has finally set in your honor.

  17. GUEST says:

    Bernie you know Raj. Raj you remember Bernie.

  18. Guest says:

    I didn't know being allergic to jail was a defense.

  19. bartlebythescrivener says:

    Once he dies, Exxon will attach a rig to his gut.

  20. Don Glover says:

    any bets on when he has to start wearing diapers?

  21. Don Glover says:

    What about how many stiches itll take to sow up that butthole?

  22. like this says:

    Bonjour from many miles away! This is just what I was searching for, and you wrote it nicely. Thanks very much

  23. Bonjour my name is June and I’m a writer and this blog really helped me. I’m inspired! Thanks!

  24. heya I’m jenny I’m such a air head but I still really admired your posts

  25. It just isn’rt fair to make an outdated Hudnut like me drool like that. I noticed the pickup in the Nashville Tenn countrywide and believed it probably the most beautiful car ever.br /I do have a 48 sedan and 46 pickup

  26. I didnt search this, but I really like this, found it helpful! Keep up the great work!

  27. read more says:

    Hey there my name is Sally and I’m a blogger and this site really aided me. I’m motivated! Thanks very much!

  28. Eireann says:

    While some investors might hold gold as a hedge against inflation or economic uncertainty, owning a gold stock does not automatically serve that same function. Scare tactics are often used to push an investor to make a quick decision.

  29. Was it so much to ask that people recall, for instance, the tears of joy he brought to their eyes when he paid an employee to allow herself to be tased?

  30. Does the government really want this kind of blood on their hands, not to mention be responsible for the inevitable mental break down the orderly forced to feed Raj his chicken soup** with undoubtedly suffer?

Our Sites

  • Above the Law
  • How Appealing
  • ATL Redline
  • Breaking Defense
  • Breaking Energy
  • Breaking Gov
  • Dealbreaker
  • Fashonista
  •