Kasanova and his bonus bitches
Last week we discussed the concept of the Do It Yourself bonus, for those who anticipate a battle with management on comp this year. Rather than wasting your time negotiating, why not just take what you know in your plums you deserve? While successfully robbing a bank is as easy these days as scribbling on a fake beard, there are other options should you be uncomfortable with such an aggressive plan. For instance, you could put the moves on a couple of bank tellers and then watch as the identity theft-facilitating panties drop.
A hard-partying Bronx ladies’ man with a criminal past was hauled into court Thursday on charges he swiped $1 million from JPMorgan Chase by seducing bank tellers. Richard Dames, who calls himself Geovanni Kasanova, and five others were named in a 148-count indictment charging they stole the identities of 80 victims in a scheme that ran from 2009 to 2011…Among his co-conspirators are two tellers, who were in love with him. Kia Wylie, 30, who pleaded not guilty to selling the stolen identities of nine account-holders to Dames, had a love letter she wrote him in her desk drawer, officials said. Malika Williams also pleaded not guilty – and her lawyer insisted she was a victim. “He set her up,” Anthony Evans said. Dames picked up the 25-year-old at a bar and convinced her their relationship was real, he said. “She’s an overweight, shy girl who doesn’t date a lot – to her he’s a Casanova,” Evans said.
Dames, who appeared in court with his underwear sticking out of his jeans…is charged with using the data to open credit card and eTrade accounts and make cash withdrawals.
In the unlikely event you get caught, you’ll want to make sure to play it cool and vague like Kasanova, who when first asked by the cops about Williams simply responded “I know several Malikas.”
Con Man Charged With Stealing $1 Million By Seducing Bank Tellers [NYDN]
Wait till we review your mortgage papers
J.Dimon
I will be going by "Sammy Ladysmith."
Mortgage?
Necessities Son!
I took the money to buy me some more ICE and keep my bonus bitches' bellies full!
Examine your mustard stained t-shirt.
Lights off, motives used as lubricant, bathtub full of gravy and floating french fries, Jay Z's "Brooklyn We Go Hard" blasting in a 1994 boom box sitting next to bathtub, slowly creeping out of tub afterwards and 'accidentally' kicking boombox into watery gravy tub, burn Apartment down, fake death in plane incident, $$$ profit.
More cushion for the pushin'
Are these Meredith Whitney's sisters?
Seriously? He had to "seduce" those ladies to get the information? I am pretty sure he could have given them a case of ranch dressing and a $200 dunkin donuts gift card and gotten the same information.
"For instance, you could put the moves on a couple of bank tellers and then watch as the identity theft-facilitating panties drop."
The panties were purchased at Lane Bryant or Roaman's, weren't they?
Several Malikas are friends of mine.
– Chaz "Dick Dames" Gasparino
Kasanova got a fat bonus this year
actually, it was a phat bonus.
No it was fat. Like type-2 diabetes fat.
"Dames, who appeared in court with his underwear sticking out of his jeans…"
The bottom or the top of his jeans?
Man…Warren Sapp has really let himself go
Seducing two BBWs with junk food and sex to steal a million only to get caught and go to jail is the NKI.
They too ate all of the evidence, and we are not even talking about insider trading here…
they seem rather thin considering their ethnic background
~ guy who's been to the deep south and seen some crazy shit
is the one on the left using the 12 inch wide belt to hold up her gunt? if so, very nice use of an accessory
always a homo being racist… your gay… white people hate gays a a whole more
than blacks…