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The New York Stock Exchange Has A Message For Irene

She can blow a park bench through the windows of the New York Fed, flood all of downtown Manhattan and rustle the papers on Maria Bartiromo’s desk but come Monday morning? That bell is getting rung.

With the threat of Hurricane Irene hitting the east coast most likely on Sunday, the New York Stock Exchange has made contingency plans and vows to open as normal on Monday. “We intend to ring the bell at 9:30 am,” Lou Pastina head of floor operations, tells Bob Pisani of CNBC this morning.

That means don’t leave town Deutsche Bank. If Duncan Niederauer has to crawl through broken glass to get you up on that platform, he will.

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27 Responses to “The New York Stock Exchange Has A Message For Irene”

  1. Erin Burnett says:

    NYSE Floor traders were advised that in the event of a flooded they have been given the Ok by CNBC to use Maria's ass as a floatation device to get them to their posts.

  2. VonSloneker says:

    You go Pastina…St. Francis College representin'!

  3. early_hominid says:

    Destroy this, flood that, demolish this. Fine. But do you ever hear about Irene's legitimate years as a tropical storm? No. You don't read about that.

  4. Curious snorkeler says:

    Can you ring a bell underwater?

  5. Tank the Frank says:

    Irene is a friend of mine.

    Chazzy G

  6. jobdespair says:

    So their arrogance has gotten to the point that think they can beat Mother Nature? Well… I'd love to see that one. Money don't give a RA if you have offshore accounts.

  7. InfiniteGuest says:

    I take it I'm the only one who misread the first sentence as saying that MB could blow a park bench.

  8. Jim Simons says:

    Not to worry, our backup servers are secure in an underground Libyan bunker.

  9. Blow Me Dr. Guest says:

    The NYSE is utterly inconsequential and has been for years. Who could possibly give a fuck?

    • guest says:

      No one? Since this post isn't actually giving a fuck about the NYSE functioning, but rather the hilarity of them thinking anyone cares, proclaiming the bell will be rung?

  10. Somali Warlord says:

    We're screwed. Irene was the secret code word in "Blackhawk Down" and we all know how much of a gigantic clusterfuck Irene turned out to be.

  11. Lance says:

    Anyone else's balls hurt?

  12. WeShallFightOnTheBeaches says:

    we shall never surrender.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wz6LxkqQPDM

    – British UBS prop trader already preparing for the weekend

  13. Raymond Babbit says:

    Uh oh… We definitely don't go out when it rains…

  14. wahoo says:

    Irene was blowing her way up the east coast…. Started off howling, ended with nothing more than a light spray and some broken wood. Amateur.

    – A. Dupre

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