• 26 Aug 2011 at 4:01 PM

The New York Stock Exchange Has A Message For Irene

By

She can blow a park bench through the windows of the New York Fed, flood all of downtown Manhattan and rustle the papers on Maria Bartiromo’s desk but come Monday morning? That bell is getting rung.

With the threat of Hurricane Irene hitting the east coast most likely on Sunday, the New York Stock Exchange has made contingency plans and vows to open as normal on Monday. “We intend to ring the bell at 9:30 am,” Lou Pastina head of floor operations, tells Bob Pisani of CNBC this morning.

That means don’t leave town Deutsche Bank. If Duncan Niederauer has to crawl through broken glass to get you up on that platform, he will.

Comments (27)

  1. 1
    Posted by Erin Burnett | August 26, 2011 at 4:06 PM

    NYSE Floor traders were advised that in the event of a flooded they have been given the Ok by CNBC to use Maria's ass as a floatation device to get them to their posts.

  2. 2
    Posted by guess | August 26, 2011 at 4:12 PM

    shut up

  3. 3
    Posted by VonSloneker | August 26, 2011 at 4:15 PM

    You go Pastina…St. Francis College representin'!

  4. 4
    Posted by Tiny Jim | August 26, 2011 at 4:16 PM

    Oooold Mannnn Riverrrr!!!!!

  5. 5
    Posted by early_hominid | August 26, 2011 at 4:16 PM

    Destroy this, flood that, demolish this. Fine. But do you ever hear about Irene's legitimate years as a tropical storm? No. You don't read about that.

  6. 6
    Posted by Curious snorkeler | August 26, 2011 at 4:19 PM

    Can you ring a bell underwater?

  7. 7
    Posted by Props | August 26, 2011 at 4:20 PM

    This is one of the best comments I have ever read. Well done

  8. 8
    Posted by Tank the Frank | August 26, 2011 at 4:26 PM

    Irene is a friend of mine.

    Chazzy G

  9. 9
    Posted by Lazy Fare | August 26, 2011 at 4:27 PM

    Maria? Is that you? Call me.

    - Todd T.

  10. 10
    Posted by jobdespair | August 26, 2011 at 4:35 PM

    So their arrogance has gotten to the point that think they can beat Mother Nature? Well… I'd love to see that one. Money don't give a RA if you have offshore accounts.

  11. 11
    Posted by InfiniteGuest | August 26, 2011 at 4:52 PM

    I take it I'm the only one who misread the first sentence as saying that MB could blow a park bench.

  12. 12
    Posted by Nom de Splooge | August 26, 2011 at 4:57 PM

    that's just it — come monday, they're all gonna be offshore accounts!

  13. 13
    Posted by Erin Burnett | August 26, 2011 at 4:58 PM

    Sorry Mrs. Bartiromo

  14. 14
    Posted by Jim Simons | August 26, 2011 at 5:00 PM

    Not to worry, our backup servers are secure in an underground Libyan bunker.

  15. 15
    Posted by Blow Me Dr. Guest | August 26, 2011 at 5:09 PM

    The NYSE is utterly inconsequential and has been for years. Who could possibly give a fuck?

  16. 16
    Posted by Somali Warlord | August 26, 2011 at 5:12 PM

    We're screwed. Irene was the secret code word in "Blackhawk Down" and we all know how much of a gigantic clusterfuck Irene turned out to be.

  17. 17
    Posted by guest | August 26, 2011 at 5:17 PM

    No one? Since this post isn't actually giving a fuck about the NYSE functioning, but rather the hilarity of them thinking anyone cares, proclaiming the bell will be rung?

  18. 18
    Posted by Lance | August 26, 2011 at 5:19 PM

    Anyone else's balls hurt?

  19. 19
    Posted by WeShallFightOnTheBeaches | August 26, 2011 at 5:24 PM

    we shall never surrender.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wz6LxkqQPDM

    - British UBS prop trader already preparing for the weekend

  20. 20
    Posted by bigbadmatt | August 26, 2011 at 10:05 PM

    money doesn't give a residential advisor? rental agreement? risk assessment? republica argentina?

  21. 21
    Posted by Raymond Babbit | August 27, 2011 at 12:25 AM

    Uh oh… We definitely don't go out when it rains…

  22. 22
    Posted by Steve Liesman | August 27, 2011 at 12:29 AM

    Hey, that's my special lady friend…Man…

  23. 23
    Posted by Pat Bateman | August 27, 2011 at 12:31 AM

    Do you like Phil Collins?

  24. 24
    Posted by wahoo | August 29, 2011 at 5:26 PM

    Irene was blowing her way up the east coast…. Started off howling, ended with nothing more than a light spray and some broken wood. Amateur.

    - A. Dupre

  25. 25
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