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TSF Is Back

Wall Street is set to cut over 100,000 financial services employees by the end of the year. The Dow dropped 521 points today. Harbinger Capital Partners muse Wilbur Falcone was just dealt a horrible blow. While some of you may think we get off on writing about Wall Street getting its teeth knocked out, in truth, it’s really just as much a buzz kill for us as it is for those taking it up the tailpipe. So we’ve decided to do something about it, in an admittedly self-serving effort to cheer ourselves up (it’s strange, but making you feel good makes us feel good). And here’s what it is: WE’RE BRINGING BACK THE SANDWICH FAIRY.
For those of you who need a refresher, TSF was introduced decades ago (actual time: April ’08), after a hero named Oyster Boy successfully downed 244 oysters in one hour at Ulysses (we started by sending OB a congratulatory cheesesteak from Delmonico’s and from there it escalated into sending lunch to any old financial services hack each week). After a good run (and the sandwich welfare program fell by the wayside) we put it into retirement.

But now feels like as good at time as ever as to bring that shit back. Know someone who you think deserves a visit from The Sandwich Fairy? Send your nominations to tips at dealbreaker dot com. We’ll start tomorrow and do this weekly through Labor Day, perhaps through the year if your play your cards right. (Please be advised that TSF will come bearing food from whatever establishment you’d like so long as it delivers and accepts American Express. For the neophytes among us, do us all a favor and review TSF Guidelines.)

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27 Responses to “TSF Is Back”

  1. Biff says:

    Hold the Mayo

  2. Guest says:

    I told you the pig would not be able to come up with an engineering solution.

  3. I'm a Dude says:

    I'd like to sandwich Bess and Keira Knightley

  4. B2b MD says:

    lights on, rails of pixie dust snorted through her wand, bent over the footboard, Carmen Diaz dressed as Peter Pan giving a good ol' fashion to Captain Hook in the corner.

    -Not the lights on/off guy, but a big fan of his work

    • guest says:

      Is Carmen Diaz Cameron's Mexican half sister?

    • guest says:

      I'm assuming this was a reference to Hook, in which case you should know that Tinkerbell was played by Julia Roberts, not Cameron Diaz. Other than that I have no concerns.

      -guy with 2 kids and no life

  5. ShortNaked says:

    No turkey unless its club

  6. Last Man Standing says:

    weekly until Labor day? thats like 3 days. and most people worth their weight are out for at least one week from now till labor day.
    why so cheap Bess?

  7. 2_Small_2_Bail says:

    "making you feel good makes us feel good"

    Paging Confused Commenter. PS. Disqus no longer works.

  8. Lewis Winthorpe III says:

    Wait, are you still giving Champale and Penthouses with the sandwiches, too?

  9. Guest says:

    I nominate the chick who got jizzed in the water bottle. And the JPM model intern.

  10. Guest says:

    Do financial service hacks "working" in Montauk for the month qualify?

  11. Anonymous says:

    Bob Kelly (CEO of BNY Mellon) or Gerald Hassell (President of BNY Mellon)… they probably can’t afford lunch since they’ve taken to charging for deposits (+ all those layoffs).

    – bitter BNYM employee

  12. Guest CFA says:

    While we're digging into the DB archives, I really could stand for Muffy to make a return appearance.

  13. Guest says:

    When will the anal fairy be back?

    -Ping

  14. Bam-Bam says:

    I nominate Tim Geithner