$$$ “We can joke about this on Monday morning, but until then it’s a matter of life and death,” the mayor said at a news conference. (NYT)

$$$ Jackie Marino, a 25-year-old investment banker, hurried down Pearl Street with two yellow plastic grocery bags and what she described as “lots of wine.” (IBT)

$$$ Chris Christie: “Get the hell off the beach in Asbury Park and get out. It’s 4:30. You’ve maximized your tan.” (InOtherNews via Daily Intel)

$$$ Merkel: Markets Won’t ‘Blackmail’ Euro Leaders (Bloomberg)

$$$ Economist: US Economy Isn’t As Weak As Portrayed (CNBC)

$$$ Texas Upholds Stripper Pole Tax (ATL)