Perhaps you’ve competed in on the job eating challenges before, maybe even successfully. A few Double Downs here, a couple of vending machine items there. Probably felt pretty good about yourself, too. “I can shovel food down my mouth like a pro,” you might have said to a colleague who was equally impressed by your feats of gastrointestinal fortitude, right? WRONG. You have zero reason to be cocky about your so-called binge-eating abilities, according to Sonya Thomas, AKA the Black Widow.
Dubbed the BW because she “often beats male competitors in eating contests” and maybe also killed a man in cold blood for stealing her lunch, Thomas housed 183 chicken wings in 12 minutes on Sunday to take home first place in the 10th annual National Buffalo Wings Festival. Think you stand a chance going to head to head? Think again. “Nobody can do it,” the Widow said with total confidence yesterday. “What I do takes special skill. Talent.” In fact: “I’ll bet you a million dollars you can’t beat me.” Since BW is feeling generous, she’ll even allow your choice of event, having taken home titles for:
* Cheesecake (11 pounds in 9 minutes)
* Crab cakes (46 in 10 minutes)
* Maine Lobsters (44 in 12 minutes)
* Oysters (46 dozen 10 minutes, besting Oyster Boy’s 144 in 1 hour)
* Hard boiled eggs (65 in 6 minutes, 40 seconds)
* Jalapeños (251 in 9 minutes)
Who wants to be her first victim? After she’s done lapping you on lobsters she’ll eat your lunch and then head over to your desk and point out the euro dollar Fibonacci retracement you’ve overlooked.