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There’s A Million Bucks With Your Name On It If You Can Beat The ‘Black Widow Of Eating Contests’ At Her Own Game

Perhaps you’ve competed in on the job eating challenges before, maybe even successfully. A few Double Downs here, a couple of vending machine items there. Probably felt pretty good about yourself, too. “I can shovel food down my mouth like a pro,” you might have said to a colleague who was equally impressed by your feats of gastrointestinal fortitude, right? WRONG. You have zero reason to be cocky about your so-called binge-eating abilities, according to Sonya Thomas, AKA the Black Widow.

Dubbed the BW because she “often beats male competitors in eating contests” and maybe also killed a man in cold blood for stealing her lunch, Thomas housed 183 chicken wings in 12 minutes on Sunday to take home first place in the 10th annual National Buffalo Wings Festival. Think you stand a chance going to head to head? Think again. “Nobody can do it,” the Widow said with total confidence yesterday. “What I do takes special skill. Talent.” In fact: “I’ll bet you a million dollars you can’t beat me.” Since BW is feeling generous, she’ll even allow your choice of event, having taken home titles for:

* Cheesecake (11 pounds in 9 minutes)
* Crab cakes (46 in 10 minutes)
* Maine Lobsters (44 in 12 minutes)
* Oysters (46 dozen 10 minutes, besting Oyster Boy’s 144 in 1 hour)
* Hard boiled eggs (65 in 6 minutes, 40 seconds)
* Jalapeños (251 in 9 minutes)

Who wants to be her first victim? After she’s done lapping you on lobsters she’ll eat your lunch and then head over to your desk and point out the euro dollar Fibonacci retracement you’ve overlooked.

Black Widow Sonya Thomas Eats 183 Chicken Wings, Sets World Record in New York Eating Contest (Video) [MFDC]

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110 Responses to “There’s A Million Bucks With Your Name On It If You Can Beat The ‘Black Widow Of Eating Contests’ At Her Own Game”

  1. guest says:

    Attention UBSers who stayed out of the Layoffs watch — go get yer bonus!

  2. Guest says:

    I wonder how her dick eating skills are.

    – Guy with questionable motives

  3. Roomy Khan says:

    Wings and jalepenos?! Looks like someone's tiger mom didn't stress the importance of grace and intelligence.

  4. early_hominid says:

    A million dollars if I can't beat you? You're on.

  5. Boner says:

    Later that day, after eating 251 Jalepenos, she was heard in the women's rest room saying, "I wish I had ate ice cream!"

  6. Barney Frank says:

    I, Barney Frank, challenge you to a sausage swallowing contest!

  7. VonSloneker says:

    Oh, never mind. I misunderstood the headline…

    -E. DeGeneres

  8. DopeRapper says:

    I can beat you.

    – Chris Brown

  9. white widow says:

    she's had lobsters, crab cakes, and oysters… but can she handle a tiger?

    -Rachel U.

  10. AIG Quant via LEH says:

    She ruv you rong time.

  11. Calorie Counter says:

    Just saw a guy that looks a lot like Jarod from Subway hanging from a tree in Milford, CT

  12. VonSloneker says:

    SHE SAID HER NAME IS LUCILLE!!!!

    -Lawrence Bourne III

  13. Jigga G says:

    Lights dimmed, cock fighting ring in the corner, poster of Kobayashi over the bed, bucket of frozen hot dogs…

  14. a. vayner says:

    but does she eat with PASSION?

  15. Guest says:

    But, can she eat six saltines in under a minute?

  16. Hudd says:

    This photo is false advertisement. Do a Google search and you'll find that you'd chew your own arm off rather than risk waking her in the morning.

    – Guy with really low standards

  17. Mexi_Cant says:

    Eating cheescake, crab cake, lobsters, wings, etc. are all impressive feats…but the fact that she was able to clean Dodd's cum off of my pants in 24 hours is testament to her true valor.

    -Barney

  18. wahoo says:

    Black Widow my left nut.

    – Kobayashi

  19. Kohler says:

    Kill….me…

    – Sonya’s toliet

  20. 2_Small_2_Bail says:

    How does she do with eggs?

    -J. Gunlach

  21. 25th Hour Trader says:

    I like her style. Wagering a ridiculous sum without the ability to pay if the wager doesn't work out*.

    -AIG Counterparty Risk Management Committee

    *If she actually has $1M USD I retract my previous statement. Unless she's talking about another currency tied to USD.

  22. Lobster, CFA says:

    "what in the fuck? it takes 12 minutes to crack one lobster"

    You are using the wrong algorithm

  23. FinneganKristiansen says:

    This is sickeningly sad.

  24. UBS HR VP says:

    We need her.

  25. Japanese Dog says:

    me no rikey – me rov you rong taim!!!

  26. dontshoot_itsme says:

    SET HER UP AGAINST RAJ!!

  27. Spanky says:

    Step up to a real challenge…Spanky's Dog House has an Atomic Chili Dog Challenge that is no joke!! Watch all the people that have failed and 4 that made …this is a great clip http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detai

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