Perhaps you’ve competed in on the job eating challenges before, maybe even successfully. A few Double Downs here, a couple of vending machine items there. Probably felt pretty good about yourself, too. “I can shovel food down my mouth like a pro,” you might have said to a colleague who was equally impressed by your feats of gastrointestinal fortitude, right? WRONG. You have zero reason to be cocky about your so-called binge-eating abilities, according to Sonya Thomas, AKA the Black Widow.

Dubbed the BW because she “often beats male competitors in eating contests” and maybe also killed a man in cold blood for stealing her lunch, Thomas housed 183 chicken wings in 12 minutes on Sunday to take home first place in the 10th annual National Buffalo Wings Festival. Think you stand a chance going to head to head? Think again. “Nobody can do it,” the Widow said with total confidence yesterday. “What I do takes special skill. Talent.” In fact: “I’ll bet you a million dollars you can’t beat me.” Since BW is feeling generous, she’ll even allow your choice of event, having taken home titles for:

* Cheesecake (11 pounds in 9 minutes)
* Crab cakes (46 in 10 minutes)
* Maine Lobsters (44 in 12 minutes)
* Oysters (46 dozen 10 minutes, besting Oyster Boy’s 144 in 1 hour)
* Hard boiled eggs (65 in 6 minutes, 40 seconds)
* Jalapeños (251 in 9 minutes)

Who wants to be her first victim? After she’s done lapping you on lobsters she’ll eat your lunch and then head over to your desk and point out the euro dollar Fibonacci retracement you’ve overlooked.

Black Widow Sonya Thomas Eats 183 Chicken Wings, Sets World Record in New York Eating Contest (Video) [MFDC]

110 comments (hidden to protect delicate sensibilities)
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Comments (110)

  1. Posted by guest | September 7, 2011 at 3:40 PM

    Attention UBSers who stayed out of the Layoffs watch — go get yer bonus!

  2. Posted by Guest | September 7, 2011 at 3:42 PM

    I wonder how her dick eating skills are.

    – Guy with questionable motives

  3. Posted by Roomy Khan | September 7, 2011 at 3:47 PM

    Wings and jalepenos?! Looks like someone's tiger mom didn't stress the importance of grace and intelligence.

  4. Posted by Meekus | September 7, 2011 at 3:47 PM

    I know a certain ex-male model that will give her a run for her money in GS MDs blown in 30 minutes

  5. Posted by early_hominid | September 7, 2011 at 3:49 PM

    A million dollars if I can't beat you? You're on.

  6. Posted by Boner | September 7, 2011 at 3:52 PM

    Later that day, after eating 251 Jalepenos, she was heard in the women's rest room saying, "I wish I had ate ice cream!"

  7. Posted by Barney Frank | September 7, 2011 at 3:56 PM

    I, Barney Frank, challenge you to a sausage swallowing contest!

  8. Posted by VonSloneker | September 7, 2011 at 4:09 PM

    Oh, never mind. I misunderstood the headline…

    -E. DeGeneres

  9. Posted by DopeRapper | September 7, 2011 at 4:23 PM

    I can beat you.

    – Chris Brown

  10. Posted by Guest | September 7, 2011 at 4:29 PM

    I see what you did there.

    – Rihanna

  11. Posted by white widow | September 7, 2011 at 4:30 PM

    she's had lobsters, crab cakes, and oysters… but can she handle a tiger?

    -Rachel U.

  12. Posted by AIG Quant via LEH | September 7, 2011 at 4:30 PM

    She ruv you rong time.

  13. Posted by Calorie Counter | September 7, 2011 at 4:32 PM

    Just saw a guy that looks a lot like Jarod from Subway hanging from a tree in Milford, CT

  14. Posted by VonSloneker | September 7, 2011 at 4:33 PM

    SHE SAID HER NAME IS LUCILLE!!!!

    -Lawrence Bourne III

  15. Posted by Jigga G | September 7, 2011 at 4:39 PM

    Lights dimmed, cock fighting ring in the corner, poster of Kobayashi over the bed, bucket of frozen hot dogs…

  16. Posted by Rappin Granny | September 7, 2011 at 4:42 PM

    And fruitcakes.

    – Richard Simmons

  17. Posted by a. vayner | September 7, 2011 at 4:46 PM

    but does she eat with PASSION?

  18. Posted by Guest | September 7, 2011 at 4:46 PM

    But, can she eat six saltines in under a minute?

  19. Posted by Hudd | September 7, 2011 at 4:49 PM

    This photo is false advertisement. Do a Google search and you'll find that you'd chew your own arm off rather than risk waking her in the morning.

    – Guy with really low standards

  20. Posted by early_hominid | September 7, 2011 at 4:49 PM

    Hey, what happened to the "if"? I call shenanigans.

  21. Posted by Mexi_Cant | September 7, 2011 at 4:51 PM

    Eating cheescake, crab cake, lobsters, wings, etc. are all impressive feats…but the fact that she was able to clean Dodd's cum off of my pants in 24 hours is testament to her true valor.

    -Barney

  22. Posted by Guest | September 7, 2011 at 5:07 PM
  23. Posted by I hate you for that. | September 7, 2011 at 5:13 PM

    Eaten*

  24. Posted by wahoo | September 7, 2011 at 5:24 PM

    Black Widow my left nut.

    – Kobayashi

  25. Posted by Kohler | September 7, 2011 at 6:14 PM

    Kill….me…

    – Sonya’s toliet

  26. Posted by 2_Small_2_Bail | September 7, 2011 at 6:19 PM

    How does she do with eggs?

    -J. Gunlach

  27. Posted by 25th Hour Trader | September 7, 2011 at 6:29 PM

    I like her style. Wagering a ridiculous sum without the ability to pay if the wager doesn't work out*.

    -AIG Counterparty Risk Management Committee

    *If she actually has $1M USD I retract my previous statement. Unless she's talking about another currency tied to USD.

  28. Posted by Meekus | September 7, 2011 at 7:11 PM

    * – J. Epstein

  29. Posted by jimmy cayne | September 7, 2011 at 7:46 PM

    1 girl 1 cup

  30. Posted by Lobster, CFA | September 7, 2011 at 8:30 PM

    "what in the fuck? it takes 12 minutes to crack one lobster"

    You are using the wrong algorithm

  31. Posted by Guest | September 7, 2011 at 10:24 PM

    It moved.

  32. Posted by FinneganKristiansen | September 8, 2011 at 3:36 AM

    This is sickeningly sad.

  33. Posted by UBS HR VP | September 8, 2011 at 7:36 AM

    We need her.

  34. Posted by The Real Black Widow | September 8, 2011 at 9:41 AM

    Jeanette Lee is the true hotness of the Black Widow variety. This woman is an impostor!
    http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_UaLWp72nij4/S9dD67I6tXI

  35. Posted by Japanese Dog | September 8, 2011 at 9:46 AM

    me no rikey – me rov you rong taim!!!

  36. Posted by Hudd | September 8, 2011 at 10:40 AM

    Is there a Black Widow of shuffleboard?

    – Guy who haplessly spends his nights in bars looking for wife material

  37. Posted by Guest XI | September 8, 2011 at 10:41 AM

    Furiously boiling hot dogs.

  38. Posted by dontshoot_itsme | September 8, 2011 at 12:54 PM

    SET HER UP AGAINST RAJ!!

  39. Posted by Spanky | October 26, 2011 at 2:02 AM

    Step up to a real challenge…Spanky's Dog House has an Atomic Chili Dog Challenge that is no joke!! Watch all the people that have failed and 4 that made …this is a great clip http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detai

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