Why do you want to go to business school? Is it to advance your career? While that may be the answer for many, that’s not what business school admissions officers want to hear. They’re bored. Sick of it. They want to be wowed. They want to drill down to who you are- as a human. They want to get to know you. Step out of these clothes and slip into something more comfortable. Figure out what motivates you. What makes you tick. How to they intend to do this? By changing the face of the b-school application process as we know it. The well compensated powers that be in academia have revolutionized the interview process in the following ways:

“Staff-moderated group discussions.” Group interviews, to the layman.

Beginning this winter, the University of Pennsylvania’s Wharton School will invite a random sampling of M.B.A. applicants to participate in a staff-moderated on-campus group discussion with fellow applicants. They will be encouraged to discuss and debate current topics in business, as chosen by the school.

Insanely quirky and not at all textbook masturbatory prompts that have been posed at university applicants for years.

…even the quirkiest questions can get uninspiring responses. The Haas School, bringing back an old prompt, asked applicants for the class entering in fall 2008, “If you could have dinner with one individual in the past, present or future, who would it be and why?” But Haas’s Ms. Fujii was underwhelmed by the answers. She believes an admissions consultant told clients to say “yourself, 30 years in the future,” a response that quickly cluttered her office.

Asking applicants to answer the world’s craziest questions in 200 characters or less

The University of Iowa’s Henry B. Tippie School of Management this summer offered a full scholarship valued at $37,240 to the applicant who best answered, “What makes you an exceptional Tippie full-time M.B.A. candidate and future M.B.A. hire?” via a tweet…Columbia Business School this year is asking applicants to respond in no more than 200 characters to the following question: “What is your post-M.B.A. professional goal?” (The answer would be shorter than the length of this paragraph.)

This last one is almost scary in how “out there” it is. Restricted to 200 letters/spaces/punctuations marks, who knows what kind of crazy shit people will reveal. Instead of going on for 4 paragraphs about how they ultimately want to become an a portfolio manager at mid-sized hedge fund, the character limit will force them to tell the admissions committee, “My goal is to sell organs on the internet.” Or maybe the limit will serve to potentially open an even bigger window into any given applicant’s soul. Not only will it get them to reveal their real reason for attending business school but could separate the squares who play by the rules and are destined for middle management from those who know when to break them by saying I see your character limit and raise you not only 458 but the chance to accept someone who has the vision and conviction of his ideas to tell you this:

What I really want to do, more than anything in this entire world…and I’ve never told this to anyone…is I want to breed dogs. I want find one dog out of all of them that not only has the beauty and the grace to win the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show…but then has the speed and the determination to win the Greyhound Classic, which is the Kentucky Derby of dog graces. And then I want to take him to Alaska for what I think is the ultimate test of endurance, and that’s to lead his entire family in the Iditorad, with me driving. And to win with a record time. That’s really my only ambition and I’ve never been able to tell anyone about it until now.

Tweets, Plays Well With Others: A Perfect MBA Candidate [WSJ]

Comments (46)

  1. Posted by agreatdaytothink | September 1, 2011 at 4:58 PM

    Bess….I'm calling plagerism! If you replace "dog" with "cat", that was my exact response.

    - Enraged Villanova MBA student

  2. Posted by VonSloneker | September 1, 2011 at 5:02 PM

    Ugh…tweets as part of the admission process. Going to be tough to spin this into MBA>CFA…

  3. Posted by Alt_EST | September 1, 2011 at 5:06 PM

    I had no idea Dennis Kneale was applying to business school so he could build his life partner.

  4. Posted by zoroz | September 1, 2011 at 5:08 PM

    Essays are a thing of the past. Now applicants should do powerpoints on how awesome they are, and in lieu of interviewing where they have to use complete sentences, they should chat with admit officers on twitter in 140 characters. "I wanne b #i-banker, ur program da best #4real"

  5. Posted by Real_AltEST | September 1, 2011 at 5:10 PM

    Anyone who takes those questions seriously will not be admitted. Simple.

  6. Posted by rick | September 1, 2011 at 5:12 PM

    I want to be a shepherd

  7. Posted by geoffgeoffgeoff | September 1, 2011 at 5:19 PM

    I want to…dance.

    -Cliff Asness

  8. Posted by Nostradmus | September 1, 2011 at 5:22 PM

    They started this 3 years ago. I submitted a list of non-career or academic achievements for an 'optional essay.' Told my interviewer that my dream was to travel in Brazil to surf and fight MMA for a few years. I got accepted.

    - NYU Stern Alum '09 (full time)

  9. Posted by guest | September 1, 2011 at 5:32 PM

    Models and bottles. How many characters do I have left?

  10. Posted by minus 1 | September 1, 2011 at 5:32 PM

    I want to write for Dealbreaker….

    -HBS 2015 candidate

  11. Posted by MeVC | September 1, 2011 at 5:46 PM

    A better question to ask is: After you graduate how do you plan on paying back your loan?

  12. Posted by Gig' Em | September 1, 2011 at 6:12 PM

    We are having all applicants send in stool samples. Not for analysis…strictly for our pleasure.

    -Texas A&M Mays College of Business Admissions Committee

  13. Posted by guest | September 1, 2011 at 6:13 PM

    Taco Bell. Penn Station.

  14. Posted by guest | September 1, 2011 at 6:14 PM

    Hook up with a stripper, not from Beamers.

  15. Posted by guest | September 1, 2011 at 6:14 PM

    cool story

  16. Posted by Stamford boi | September 1, 2011 at 6:55 PM

    The one on the LIRR level by the IRT entrance or the one upstairs on the Amtrak level? It matters, you know…

    - ex UBS quant

  17. Posted by guest | September 1, 2011 at 7:03 PM

    So Wharton decided to follow the Bridgewater school of interviewing now?

  18. Posted by UBS Analyst | September 1, 2011 at 7:26 PM

    I'd dine with Jeffrey Chiang.

  19. Posted by DevoRules | September 1, 2011 at 8:01 PM

    Should the adcoms use multimedia to demonstrate how 70% of their alums are permanently unemployed(freelance! consulting!) after year 5 as is the rough % from my class.

    -ivy mba about 8 years out

  20. Posted by Guest | September 1, 2011 at 9:16 PM

    I didn't know Brown had an MBA program

  21. Posted by Guest | September 1, 2011 at 9:34 PM

    More soft factors… exactly what was missing in the MBA admissions process.

    Surely, this will be the path to the degree earning more respect.

  22. Posted by guestapo | September 1, 2011 at 9:49 PM

    I had tears streaming down my face. There's magic in this chick's fingers.

  23. Posted by d@#style | September 1, 2011 at 11:41 PM

    viagra for dogs. now, thats a huge market!!

  24. Posted by FinneganKristiansen | September 2, 2011 at 12:54 AM

    It's "4realz"

  25. Posted by hello charlie | September 2, 2011 at 3:27 AM

    I will pay off my loan by shorting UBS

  26. Posted by Conan | September 2, 2011 at 4:03 AM

    "What is your post-M.B.A. professional goal?"

    To crush my enemies, see them driven before me, and hear the lamentations of their women.

  27. Posted by dontshoot_itsme | September 2, 2011 at 6:27 AM

    Starting my legitimate years. Now.

  28. Posted by Peter G. | September 2, 2011 at 9:39 AM

    Buttscratchaaaaa??? Buttscratchaaaa!!! Buttscratchaaa???

  29. Posted by Lord Humongous | September 2, 2011 at 10:00 AM

    That is good

    - Mongolian General

  30. Posted by Real_GenghisKhan | September 2, 2011 at 10:49 AM

    ” Nay,” responded the Khan, “to crush your
    enemies, to see them fall at your feet to take their
    horses and goods and hear the lamentation of their
    women. That is best.”

  31. Posted by guesto | September 2, 2011 at 10:50 AM

    yea… i actually laughed out loud… people were looking at me; it was awkward

  32. Posted by Put_Option | September 2, 2011 at 11:05 AM

    To Whom it may concern at Columbia Business School;

    I like having Del Frisco's Double Eagle Steak everyday for lunch so I can look important to strangers. That requires a job that will let me wear a suit everyday and give me an expense account. Since, these days, that means buy-side, I'll need an Ivy-MBA because I have no idea how to be an investment banking analyst/equity research associate and/or any other entry level sell-side job. I failed accounting, corporate finance, and introduction to economics at my 3rd-tier private liberal arts college, but I did go to lax camp, join a frat, wear Brooks Brothers to class, and I summer in ACK. Discounted Cash flow, leveraged buyout, accretion/dilution model, I'm out! Natty light, Vineyard Vines, and a Title… I'm listening…

    Sincerely,

    Chaz

  33. Posted by beamer's talent mgr | September 2, 2011 at 11:36 AM

    what's wrong with Beamer's strippers?

  34. Posted by NYRebel | September 2, 2011 at 11:37 AM

    I want to do God's work.

    -LB

  35. Posted by Guest MDs VP | September 2, 2011 at 12:10 PM

    Dear University of Iowa,

    I want to go to your business school because… ah fuck it.

    Sincerely,
    Applicant with any sense of ambition

  36. Posted by Guest | September 2, 2011 at 12:34 PM

    Sounds like you'd enjoy surf fighting.

  37. Posted by P the cable guy | September 2, 2011 at 1:37 PM

    They will, and you just deal with it Mr!

  38. Posted by P the cable guy | September 2, 2011 at 1:37 PM

    Sweet!

  39. Posted by guest | September 2, 2011 at 4:50 PM

    You would.

  40. Posted by Guest | September 2, 2011 at 8:10 PM

    I know a guy who grad from Stanford in Econ last year couldn't get a job. He spent another year taking the jerk off masters in fin. Eng. there and btw he couldn't do a lick of math so the program basically sucks. He got out and now still no job.
    Guess he can take an MBA now. So many Aholes like that out there.

  41. Posted by Tweetie Bird | September 2, 2011 at 8:22 PM

    I know a guy who grad from Stanford in Econ he couldn't get a job. He spent another year taking the jerk off masters in Fin. Eng. there and btw he couldn't do a lick of math so the program basically sucks. He got out and now still no job. Heere comes another MBA student!

  42. Posted by Bert | September 2, 2011 at 8:23 PM

    So true Tweetie!

  43. Posted by Smidget | September 2, 2011 at 9:51 PM

    "I know a guy who grad from Stanford in Econ he couldn't get a job."

    So does the guy who posted above you. Small world.

  44. Posted by Raj Raj WG'83 | September 4, 2011 at 9:22 AM

    "Success, happiness and personal fulfillment." All done, 161 characters left over. What do I win?

  45. Posted by Roger | September 5, 2011 at 4:17 PM

    "I will find those who did it; will smoke
    them out of their holes; get them running and bring them
    to justice. I will not only deal with those who dare attack America,
    I will deal with those who harbor them and feed them and house them,"

  46. Posted by Chuck | September 6, 2011 at 9:45 AM

Leave a comment

You can log in with your account or comment as a guest below.