An artist's rendering
Back in January, SAC Capital amassed a 5.3 percent stake in Domino’s Pizza, making it the fifth largest investor, at 3.2 million shares. While Cohen didn’t have any plans to meddle with management, behind the scenes he did do his part to enhance the brand, not only in an attempt to maximize profits but out of a love for bread, sauce and cheese. Little tweaks included: use of the DPZamboni as the standard delivery vehicle (it can do 150 on 95), product placement that involved getting Domino’s featured in a few pizza delivery-boy themed pornos, and tasking SAC employees with slapping slices out of the hands of anyone seen eating a competitor, putting a finger in their face and warning “that’s one” (after one you don’t want to know what happens). Things were good. REALLY good. They were double penetrating the market and Steve had big plans for the future. Unfortunately, SC’s had to significantly reduce his stake over the last few months, after what we’re assuming was a difference of opinion based on this:
Pizza restaurants typically offer delivery options, but the Japanese branch of Domino’s pizza plans on taking its customer service to new heights…by building a store on the Moon…The company estimates the entire project will cost roughly $22 billion, according to the latest numbers for the new lunar pizza store, and will require 15 rockets to transport 70 tons of construction materials and pizza-making equipment to the moon. Hoping to maximize on local resources, and minimize expenditures, Domino’s said it will keep costs down by using mineral deposits on the moon to make the concrete, which is likely to cost 194 billion yen, or roughly $2.52 billion. A firm date for deployment of the “Moon Branch” of Domino’s is still undetermined.
Seriously? The moon? Are you kidding him with this shit? You know what the Zagat’s reviews would say? “The food is excellent but there’s not atmosphere” and if you though for a second he was going to back a move like that after he worked for months on making sure every location in the tri-state area was a place you’d want to take a first date and later propose marriage, you should get your heads checked.
"double penetrating the market" made me laugh
*facepalm*
Pizza the Hut: Domino's better not come to the Moon, or else.
Domino's: or else what?
Pizza the Hut: tell em, Vinny.
Vinny: Or else pizza is gonna send out for YOU!
this was our Plan B if we couldn't get Fukushima under control.
Having a Moon branch is the NKI
"They were double penetrating … big plans for …" made it move.
Well, they'll have an unlimited stock of cheese!
Thanks folks, tip your waiters. I'm out of here for the long weekend. See you Tuesday!
Actually, don't come back. Please.
I'm afraid I would still destroy value on the moon.
-W. Tilson
"If you build it, they will come."
I see big things for the human race.
Actually, we sold the stake when we ran the numbers and realized it would take 43 minutes to get a moon pizza to Stamford. Seriously, WTF is a Domino's moon pizza good for if they can't keep their promise to deliver in less than half an hour?
-SC
Seems legit.
Avoid the Noid – he destroys market value
I'd rather work in the moon office than Stamford…
Yeah I want to work at a firm that doesn't compensate me and is losing ground fast in the investment banking and asset management space.
Get the fuck out of here, Roger, you're fired.
i sold my hole to ubs
- UBS MD*
Don't you mean:most of us would give an arm, a leg and a testicle NOT to be a MD at UBS?
DVDA is the NKI
- DSWrath-of-Khan
Although the possibilities for atmospheric re-entry pizza delivery from a network of orbiting pizza satellites in low earth orbit…__Perhaps we could cut that down a bit__
finally, thin crust would consider to be a light meal.