• 08 Sep 2011 at 5:01 PM

How Can Obama Make Bill Gross Happy?

By Bess Levin

As you may have heard, President Obama will unveil a jobs package tonight that expected total more than $300 billion. Some would say that’s a nice hefty number, one that indicates Obama is serious about getting the economy back on track. Others beg to differ. For example, Bill Gross. The PIMCO adviser is not impressed. “I don’t think $300 billion does it,” Gross said today in an interview with Bloomberg TV’s Tom Keene. “I would like to see something bold.” Unfortunately, Gross didn’t detail what he would consider bold, leaving Obama to play mind reader.

To help the president out, we’ve narrowed down the options to what we, as people who know Gross best, think might please him. To finish the job, please identify at this time which of the following the bond manager would deem to be “something bold” enough for his liking:

a) A $300 trillion package
b) Announcing plans to buy all of the securities in the Total Return portfolio at a 5% premium so he won’t underperform this year
c) A jobs program to uninstall toilet sensors nationwide and retrofit them with regular flushers
d) All of the above
e) None of the above
f) Other (what?)

Gross: Obama’s $300B Plan May Be Inadequate [Bloomberg]

Comments (18)

  1. 1
    Posted by Dr. Evil | September 8, 2011 at 5:06 PM

    1 Billion Dollars!

    -Dr. Evil

  2. 2
    Posted by C. Bartz | September 8, 2011 at 5:13 PM

    Can't believe Gross didn't have the balls to tell this to Obama face-to-face rather than having him find out by reading Bloomberg…

  3. 3
    Posted by wahoo | September 8, 2011 at 5:20 PM

    Mustache ride.

  4. 4
    Posted by VonSloneker | September 8, 2011 at 5:21 PM

    g) Accept one of those free mustache rides Bill is always offering

  5. 5
    Posted by Barack Obama | September 8, 2011 at 5:21 PM

    Unemployment benefits extended for an additional 99 weeks since it worked so well last time!
    In all honesty hardworking taxpayers can afford to "give a little more" to those sitting at home on their couches collecting checks.

  6. 6
    Posted by Guy with A.D.D. | September 8, 2011 at 5:23 PM

    Maybe get that malnourished dog standing on Bill Gross's head a lifetime ticket to the "All you can eat" buffet?

  7. 7
    Posted by geoffgeoffgeoff | September 8, 2011 at 5:33 PM

    Pathetic. Why would you collect art depicting a Biafra Hound/Jack Russell Terrier mix? No wonder this guy peddles US T-bills.

    -LEH Quant

  8. 8
    Posted by Blow Me Dr. Guest | September 8, 2011 at 5:42 PM

    Fuck You

  9. 9
    Posted by 2_Small_2_Bail | September 8, 2011 at 6:05 PM

    That looks delicous.

    -Vietnam

  10. 10
    Posted by Guest | September 8, 2011 at 6:08 PM

    ROR!

  11. 11
    Posted by Guest | September 8, 2011 at 6:47 PM

    Yes, the hardworking Chinese tax payers are kind folks indeed.

  12. 12
    Posted by Guest | September 8, 2011 at 6:49 PM

    Mr. Vague

  13. 13
    Posted by The Cuddler | September 8, 2011 at 6:52 PM

    Gently knead his balls?

  14. 14
    Posted by DingALing | September 8, 2011 at 8:51 PM

    That's a Whistler Painting and they ain't cheap.

  15. 15
    Posted by Anal_ist | September 8, 2011 at 11:53 PM

    That 'stache wreaks of child molester. But, with the faux classy outdoorsmen painting in the background, I would say he is jockeying for a role in the upcoming Dallas revival.

  16. 16
    Posted by guest | September 9, 2011 at 11:23 AM

    A billion isnt cool, you know what's cool? 300 trillion.

    –Sean Parker

  17. 17
    Posted by Tick Tock | September 9, 2011 at 3:17 PM

    You heard of sarcasm buddy?

  18. 18
    Posted by Austin Powerless | September 9, 2011 at 3:19 PM

    1 Billion Dollars is not that much any more Dr. Evil. I would suggest going with $300 trillion

    - Guy who can't help it

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