• 12 Sep 2011 at 11:36 AM

Jamie Dimon Used To Live In America

Over the years, Jamie Dimon has had a little bit of mild unpleasantness with banking regulators. But he’s always been bullish on America, which has formulated a secret sauce made out of “the best universities, best military, best rule of law, most innovation, the hardest working ethic of all.” Most important, America has this little thing called “freedom,” specifically Jamie Dimon’s freedom to run his bank for his shareholders, not for regulators.

That’s why it pains Dimon so much to have to tell us that our freedoms are slipping away into the clutches of some Swiss commies:

“I’m very close to thinking the United States shouldn’t be in Basel any more. I would not have agreed to rules that are blatantly anti-American,” he said. “Our regulators should go there and say: ‘If it’s not in the interests of the United States, we’re not doing it’.”

What’s so anti-American about the Basel III rules? The FT account suggests that treatment of investment banking businesses and capital treatment of GSE securities is part of the problem, as are global systemically important financial institution surcharges which discriminate against JPM in favor of small and/or nonexistent Chinese banks:

Regulators say all countries compromised on agreeing the rules, which put eight banks – five from outside the US – in the top level of capital. But Mr Dimon said there was a threat that Asian banks, in particular, could take US market share because of the combination of US domestic and global rules.

And if you think that having smaller, less systemically important banks might not be such a bad thing for America – then you are no patriot. Dimon doesn’t even understand how to talk to you:

“I think any American president, secretary of Treasury, regulator or other leader would want strong, healthy global financial firms and not think that somehow we should give up that position in the world and that would be good for your country,” said Mr Dimon. “If they think that’s good for the country then we have a different view on how the economy operates, how the world operates.”

JPMorgan chief says bank rules ‘anti-US’ (FT)

176 comments (hidden to protect delicate sensibilities)
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Comments (176)

  1. Posted by AIG Quant via LEH | September 12, 2011 at 11:44 AM

    hmm. Need to drink some water

  2. Posted by Mitty Romney | September 12, 2011 at 11:48 AM

    Jamie for President!!

  3. Posted by Nailz6 | September 12, 2011 at 11:48 AM

    It took you how many hours to make this post?

  4. Posted by NYRebel | September 12, 2011 at 11:50 AM

    Yeah, good article but the title does not match the subject…B-. For your next assinment, I would like you to use some satire, snark, and double ententre. Let us see if we can make a blogger out of you yet.

    – PS 147 K-8 Elementary School Teacher, Queens, NY

  5. Posted by The Wolf | September 12, 2011 at 11:52 AM

    Someone should remind Dimon it was he and his idiot friends who screwed the pooch and left America's banking system in ruins. Capitalists? I think not! Bankers were the first ones to put up their hands, open their mouths and scream for daddy government to bail out their sorry asses. Nothing more than a nest of baby birds. Losers, one and all!

  6. Posted by trojan_ | September 12, 2011 at 11:58 AM

    BAC sucks

  7. Posted by Rahodeb | September 12, 2011 at 12:02 PM

    Oh shut the fuck up.

  8. Posted by Touch Base Later | September 12, 2011 at 12:02 PM

    Bad title. Boring post on an article with so much promise. I miss Bess and we are only one post in…going to be a long week.

  9. Posted by Guest | September 12, 2011 at 12:05 PM

    For what? You're arresting me for what? I'm not allowed to stand up for myself? I thought this was a free country? Oh i'm sorry I thought this America. Sorry, I thought this was America.

    -Randy Marsh

  10. Posted by Steve | September 12, 2011 at 12:06 PM

    Wrong web site?

  11. Posted by Blow Me Dr. Guest | September 12, 2011 at 12:08 PM

    No Fuck YOU

  12. Posted by spectator | September 12, 2011 at 12:14 PM

    “If they think that’s good for the country then we have a different view on how the economy operates, how the world operates.”
    yeh, some of us who didn't cause a 150 year old banking giant to become insolvent and then got the government and central bank to bail it out may have a different view.

  13. Posted by Markus Niku | September 12, 2011 at 12:17 PM

    bess is not back until what, the 22nd?

  14. Posted by pierre | September 12, 2011 at 12:19 PM

    ditto. and it's a lousy picture. bring back the one with the umbrella

  15. Posted by Guest | September 12, 2011 at 12:21 PM

    This must be how the Colts are feeling right now.

  16. Posted by Full on Playa Hater | September 12, 2011 at 12:27 PM

    Not sure if trolling, or just stupid. If one bank was prepared to withstand the socio-economic morass, it was JPM. As for who left the banking system in ruins? The mortgage bundlers and securitizers, as well as your gal-pals at the rating agencies might be a pretty good place to start. Not to mention your deadbeat friends that stopped paying their mortgages. To lump Dimon in with any group of xyz is a spurious beginning of any argument – aside from the group included in the blueprint on how to manage a business.

  17. Posted by PermaGuestII | September 12, 2011 at 12:33 PM

    J.P. Morgan Chase – the General Motors of finance.

  18. Posted by spectator | September 12, 2011 at 12:34 PM

    guess i'm just stupid. i thought a bank's management was the one responsible when its liabilities became greater than its assets and thus there was no shareholders equity left.

  19. Posted by Grammar Nazi | September 12, 2011 at 12:36 PM

    Ententre… eh? I guess a grammar refresher wasn't mandatory to teach Elementary School.. kind of like one of those optional summer classes eh?

  20. Posted by NYRebel | September 12, 2011 at 12:40 PM

    Sir, I am only a NYC grade school teacher, not a mircle worker!

  21. Posted by Ex Citi Trader | September 12, 2011 at 12:43 PM

    Interesting. BTW, when you look at the +/- of your comment – factor in 2 more negatives – I hit the wrong button so it should be -18 right now and -76 in an hour.

  22. Posted by Guest | September 12, 2011 at 12:46 PM

    Yeah and there's lot's going on too. what the hey? why no dollar dominatrix: http://blogs.wsj.com/marketbeat/2011/09/09/paging
    Paging Meredith Whitney: Munis Up 11% This Year

    or love me tender warren? http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424053111904
    Berkshire Adds Fresh Investment Manager

    According to Fortune magazine, Mr. Weschler appeared on Mr. Buffett's radar when Mr. Weschler won Buffett's annual charity auction with a bid of $2,626,311 in 2010. He also won again this year, topping his prior-year bid by $100. The winner of the auction gets to dine with Mr. Buffett.

  23. Posted by I'm a Dude | September 12, 2011 at 12:49 PM

    Great post.
    can you please get a picture of Bess on holiday, preferably one of her laying on the beach?
    Thanks in advance,
    Your Loyal Readers

  24. Posted by boomroast | September 12, 2011 at 12:51 PM

    That would be more of a spelling error than grammatical mistake but same diff/no diff.

    -U. of Pheonix '06 Grad

  25. Posted by boomroast | September 12, 2011 at 12:54 PM

    Technically, since his hours are 2pm – 2:30pm, he's early.

  26. Posted by Efficient Market | September 12, 2011 at 12:54 PM

    Matt, you like equations so solve for how many pages of transcript, hours of legal fees, number of words, days of speaking, and billions of US $, it would take for a regulator to utter their equivalent of the phrase, "If it’s not in the interests of the United States, we’re not doing it"

  27. Posted by spectator | September 12, 2011 at 12:55 PM

    negatives can be positive

  28. Posted by Guest | September 12, 2011 at 12:56 PM

    How about a picture of Bess taking-in a big fat tip.

  29. Posted by Florist | September 12, 2011 at 1:04 PM

    Levine where the fuck is the next article? And you dump a Dimon interview on us as a way to ingratiate yourself to us? F fucking MINUS for originality you chode.

    Matt you know they geld a horse one of two ways, with a knife or the chemical way. Keep this pathetic showing up in Bess' absence and we will surely geld you with a knife boy.

  30. Posted by Guest | September 12, 2011 at 1:04 PM

    0 equity, $123B equity.

    same diff/no diff

  31. Posted by Guest | September 12, 2011 at 1:06 PM


    – UBS MD

  32. Posted by spectator | September 12, 2011 at 1:14 PM

    how much of that equity would be there without the myraid types gov't assistance during 2008 and 2009? not to mention w/o subsidized credit the past 30 years?

  33. Posted by Rahodeb | September 12, 2011 at 1:15 PM

    JPM's liabilities became greater than its assets? Challenge.

  34. Posted by Steve | September 12, 2011 at 1:17 PM

    GO AWAY!!

  35. Posted by early_hominid | September 12, 2011 at 1:18 PM

    My computer's busted. I keep hitting refresh and nothing happens.

  36. Posted by Rahodeb | September 12, 2011 at 1:19 PM

    About $123B. Why?

  37. Posted by spectator | September 12, 2011 at 1:23 PM

    no need to answer these challenges. Those who choose to take the blue pills are entitled. Reality is tough to face. Next interbank lending crisis is not far off now. Good luck making it through that one.

  38. Posted by spectator | September 12, 2011 at 1:25 PM

    oh thats intelligent. You probably say the same thing to the bear market hoping it will happen

  39. Posted by homosaurus | September 12, 2011 at 1:25 PM

    then go back to Yahoo!

  40. Posted by guy 2 cubes over | September 12, 2011 at 1:26 PM

    Fuck, does the commentariat need a juice box and a nap?

    -Guy doesn't get the M.L. hate.

  41. Posted by BoA's balance sheet | September 12, 2011 at 1:32 PM

    we could help you with that

  42. Posted by Nailz6 | September 12, 2011 at 1:37 PM

    Matt, you really don't understand how boring my job is. Please post a new article ASAP.

    – Chicago Back Office

  43. Posted by Mexi_Cant | September 12, 2011 at 1:40 PM


  44. Posted by uh oh | September 12, 2011 at 1:42 PM

    he was spending all of his time reading Dealbreaker instead of working just like the rest of us. But wait if he's wasting his time reading dealbreaker….

  45. Posted by Florist | September 12, 2011 at 1:42 PM

    Wrong – you don't get the Bess devotion. Please see this post – http://dealbreaker.com/2011/09/goldman-would-be-h… –

    and stop reading when blood begins to shoot out of your nose and your right brain looks at the left brain and says its dark in here and we may die!

  46. Posted by Mexi_Cant | September 12, 2011 at 1:43 PM

    Matty boy, you are awfully fortunate I have spent the entire day thinking about all the wonderful yet dirty things I would like to do to Miss Pmco. However, I am up to the Cleveland Steamer and I don't know how much more I can think of, so please be a lad and post a new article. Cheers.

  47. Posted by Guest | September 12, 2011 at 1:43 PM


  48. Posted by Guest | September 12, 2011 at 1:45 PM

    $10 this is tyler durden.

    Any takers?

  49. Posted by Ernie | September 12, 2011 at 1:45 PM

    Relax dude.

  50. Posted by spectator | September 12, 2011 at 1:51 PM

    you owe me $10, but since you think shareholder's equity of a bank stated on a balance sheet at the end of a particular quarter means something you are going to need that $10, so keep it.

  51. Posted by Guest | September 12, 2011 at 1:56 PM

    Take a lap Matt.

  52. Posted by Guest | September 12, 2011 at 1:57 PM

    Ugh. Terrible use of Lewis Black

  53. Posted by Fred | September 12, 2011 at 2:07 PM

    Matt – Where are the Customers' Posts?

  54. Posted by Guest | September 12, 2011 at 2:16 PM

    Matt's clearly doing a bang-up job – he doesn't need your charity.

  55. Posted by Abe_Froman_ | September 12, 2011 at 2:21 PM

    Matt's work without Bess there to smack him around: 6 hours, 1 post, ZERO charts….

    Bess better come back or send pics soon

  56. Posted by FKApmco | September 12, 2011 at 2:28 PM

    I don't like Cleveland Steamers but I do like steamed clams and broiled lobsters and chicken cutlets. And I make a delicious Guinness Chocolate mousse.

  57. Posted by 25th Hour Trader | September 12, 2011 at 2:37 PM

    At least you have a job.

    -1 of the 30k ex-BAC'ers who is posting this comment from his smartphone that he can no longer afford while standing on the tracks. Completely unrelated, I miss Bess more after one day than I did my gf after she was taken hostage by FARC while hiking with a friend last summer.

  58. Posted by JDE | September 12, 2011 at 2:37 PM

    Look at how opinionated and smart I am

  59. Posted by Guest | September 12, 2011 at 2:40 PM

    We get it – you read Einhorn's book, don't trust big companies/banks and have some sort of axe to grind against Wall St. But absent some specific and credible work to support your claims to this audience you're kind of just being a douche.

  60. Posted by spectator | September 12, 2011 at 2:41 PM

    don't see you refraining from putting your two cents in either

  61. Posted by Mexi_Cant | September 12, 2011 at 2:42 PM

    I like your face, and clams and lobsters and chicken as well. I don't eat mice though, even if they are dipped in beer and chocolate.

  62. Posted by Guest | September 12, 2011 at 2:43 PM

    Mr. McCrudden?

  63. Posted by TheGuyFromDallas | September 12, 2011 at 2:43 PM


  64. Posted by guest | September 12, 2011 at 2:46 PM


    -NY Back Office

  65. Posted by boss | September 12, 2011 at 3:02 PM

    when the bess is away…

  66. Posted by spectator | September 12, 2011 at 3:02 PM

    anger is the path to the darkside, go there you should not

  67. Posted by spectator | September 12, 2011 at 3:05 PM

    oh, and i have no axe to grind. just bored and enjoy annoying folks like you.

  68. Posted by spectator | September 12, 2011 at 3:11 PM

    …. and Einhorn's book? Einhorn's a bit late on this one. Plenty books explaining it that were written way before his . . . of course you are one of those who likely is convinced economic history started post the great depression. I'll bet you bought into the whole internet thing to in the 90's . . . oh, sorry, you were probably in grade school then.

  69. Posted by Guest | September 12, 2011 at 3:15 PM

    Jamie is hot!

  70. Posted by Rusty Trombone | September 12, 2011 at 3:23 PM

    It moved.

  71. Posted by Guest | September 12, 2011 at 3:25 PM

    why all the deleted comments today?

  72. Posted by Guest | September 12, 2011 at 3:31 PM

    I guess since Bess is on vacation, I will take a DB vacation as well and just read Zero Hedge. Though making fun of ML is pretty satisfying.

  73. Posted by Curious George | September 12, 2011 at 3:45 PM

    Q: What did David Einhorn say when he got hit in the balls?

    A: Mein Horn!

  74. Posted by Guest | September 12, 2011 at 4:06 PM

    Well actually his book doesn't have much to do with this or any other credit crisis/economic history – think it was actually written in 2007. More of a poke at the voracity of your comments when you learned yesterday what the terms balance sheet and equity mean.

  75. Posted by Guest | September 12, 2011 at 4:09 PM

    And please feel free to pop some of your work up on scribd to suggest you're anything other than a tourist in the subject of finance.

  76. Posted by PermaGuestII | September 12, 2011 at 4:14 PM


  77. Posted by Guest | September 12, 2011 at 4:46 PM

    Einhorn's book is rubbish. Epstein's book was waaaay better.

  78. Posted by Guest | September 12, 2011 at 4:49 PM

    Plumbkins, you seem like a plumbkin kind of gal.

  79. Posted by I'm a Dude | September 12, 2011 at 4:53 PM

    in case you havent noticed, matt's in charge.

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    Cool story bro

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