Jamie Dimon Used To Live In America

Over the years, Jamie Dimon has had a little bit of mild unpleasantness with banking regulators. But he’s always been bullish on America, which has formulated a secret sauce made out of “the best universities, best military, best rule of law, most innovation, the hardest working ethic of all.” Most important, America has this little thing called “freedom,” specifically Jamie Dimon’s freedom to run his bank for his shareholders, not for regulators.

That’s why it pains Dimon so much to have to tell us that our freedoms are slipping away into the clutches of some Swiss commies:

“I’m very close to thinking the United States shouldn’t be in Basel any more. I would not have agreed to rules that are blatantly anti-American,” he said. “Our regulators should go there and say: ‘If it’s not in the interests of the United States, we’re not doing it’.”

What’s so anti-American about the Basel III rules? The FT account suggests that treatment of investment banking businesses and capital treatment of GSE securities is part of the problem, as are global systemically important financial institution surcharges which discriminate against JPM in favor of small and/or nonexistent Chinese banks:

Regulators say all countries compromised on agreeing the rules, which put eight banks – five from outside the US – in the top level of capital. But Mr Dimon said there was a threat that Asian banks, in particular, could take US market share because of the combination of US domestic and global rules.

And if you think that having smaller, less systemically important banks might not be such a bad thing for America – then you are no patriot. Dimon doesn’t even understand how to talk to you:

“I think any American president, secretary of Treasury, regulator or other leader would want strong, healthy global financial firms and not think that somehow we should give up that position in the world and that would be good for your country,” said Mr Dimon. “If they think that’s good for the country then we have a different view on how the economy operates, how the world operates.”

JPMorgan chief says bank rules ‘anti-US’ (FT)

(hidden for your protection)
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176 Responses to “Jamie Dimon Used To Live In America”

  1. AIG Quant via LEH says:

    hmm. Need to drink some water

  2. Mitty Romney says:

    Jamie for President!!

  3. Nailz6 says:

    It took you how many hours to make this post?

    • boomroast says:

      Technically, since his hours are 2pm – 2:30pm, he's early.

    • uh oh says:

      he was spending all of his time reading Dealbreaker instead of working just like the rest of us. But wait if he's wasting his time reading dealbreaker….

  4. NYRebel says:

    Yeah, good article but the title does not match the subject…B-. For your next assinment, I would like you to use some satire, snark, and double ententre. Let us see if we can make a blogger out of you yet.

    – PS 147 K-8 Elementary School Teacher, Queens, NY

  5. The Wolf says:

    Someone should remind Dimon it was he and his idiot friends who screwed the pooch and left America's banking system in ruins. Capitalists? I think not! Bankers were the first ones to put up their hands, open their mouths and scream for daddy government to bail out their sorry asses. Nothing more than a nest of baby birds. Losers, one and all!

    • Rahodeb says:

      Oh shut the fuck up.

    • Steve says:

      Wrong web site?

    • spectator says:

      “If they think that’s good for the country then we have a different view on how the economy operates, how the world operates.”
      yeh, some of us who didn't cause a 150 year old banking giant to become insolvent and then got the government and central bank to bail it out may have a different view.

    • Full on Playa Hater says:

      Not sure if trolling, or just stupid. If one bank was prepared to withstand the socio-economic morass, it was JPM. As for who left the banking system in ruins? The mortgage bundlers and securitizers, as well as your gal-pals at the rating agencies might be a pretty good place to start. Not to mention your deadbeat friends that stopped paying their mortgages. To lump Dimon in with any group of xyz is a spurious beginning of any argument – aside from the group included in the blueprint on how to manage a business.

    • Ex Citi Trader says:

      Interesting. BTW, when you look at the +/- of your comment – factor in 2 more negatives – I hit the wrong button so it should be -18 right now and -76 in an hour.

      • spectator says:

        negatives can be positive

        • Steve says:

          GO AWAY!!

          • spectator says:

            oh thats intelligent. You probably say the same thing to the bear market hoping it will happen

          • Guest says:

            $10 this is tyler durden.

            Any takers?

          • spectator says:

            you owe me $10, but since you think shareholder's equity of a bank stated on a balance sheet at the end of a particular quarter means something you are going to need that $10, so keep it.

          • JDE says:

            Look at how opinionated and smart I am

          • spectator says:

            don't see you refraining from putting your two cents in either

          • Guest says:

            We get it – you read Einhorn's book, don't trust big companies/banks and have some sort of axe to grind against Wall St. But absent some specific and credible work to support your claims to this audience you're kind of just being a douche.

          • spectator says:

            anger is the path to the darkside, go there you should not

          • spectator says:

            oh, and i have no axe to grind. just bored and enjoy annoying folks like you.

          • Roomy Khan says:

            Cool story bro

          • spectator says:

            …. and Einhorn's book? Einhorn's a bit late on this one. Plenty books explaining it that were written way before his . . . of course you are one of those who likely is convinced economic history started post the great depression. I'll bet you bought into the whole internet thing to in the 90's . . . oh, sorry, you were probably in grade school then.

          • Curious George says:

            Q: What did David Einhorn say when he got hit in the balls?

            A: Mein Horn!

          • Guest says:

            Well actually his book doesn't have much to do with this or any other credit crisis/economic history – think it was actually written in 2007. More of a poke at the voracity of your comments when you learned yesterday what the terms balance sheet and equity mean.

          • Guest says:

            And please feel free to pop some of your work up on scribd to suggest you're anything other than a tourist in the subject of finance.

          • Guest says:

            Einhorn's book is rubbish. Epstein's book was waaaay better.

  6. trojan_ says:

    BAC sucks

  7. Touch Base Later says:

    Bad title. Boring post on an article with so much promise. I miss Bess and we are only one post in…going to be a long week.

  8. Guest says:

    For what? You're arresting me for what? I'm not allowed to stand up for myself? I thought this was a free country? Oh i'm sorry I thought this America. Sorry, I thought this was America.

    -Randy Marsh

  9. Markus Niku says:

    bess is not back until what, the 22nd?

  10. Guest says:

    This must be how the Colts are feeling right now.

  11. PermaGuestII says:

    J.P. Morgan Chase – the General Motors of finance.

  12. I'm a Dude says:

    Great post.
    can you please get a picture of Bess on holiday, preferably one of her laying on the beach?
    Thanks in advance,
    Your Loyal Readers

  13. Efficient Market says:

    Matt, you like equations so solve for how many pages of transcript, hours of legal fees, number of words, days of speaking, and billions of US $, it would take for a regulator to utter their equivalent of the phrase, "If it’s not in the interests of the United States, we’re not doing it"

  14. Florist says:

    Levine where the fuck is the next article? And you dump a Dimon interview on us as a way to ingratiate yourself to us? F fucking MINUS for originality you chode.

    Matt you know they geld a horse one of two ways, with a knife or the chemical way. Keep this pathetic showing up in Bess' absence and we will surely geld you with a knife boy.

  15. early_hominid says:

    My computer's busted. I keep hitting refresh and nothing happens.

  16. guy 2 cubes over says:

    Fuck, does the commentariat need a juice box and a nap?

    -Guy doesn't get the M.L. hate.

  17. Nailz6 says:

    Matt, you really don't understand how boring my job is. Please post a new article ASAP.

    – Chicago Back Office

    • 25th Hour Trader says:

      At least you have a job.

      -1 of the 30k ex-BAC'ers who is posting this comment from his smartphone that he can no longer afford while standing on the tracks. Completely unrelated, I miss Bess more after one day than I did my gf after she was taken hostage by FARC while hiking with a friend last summer.

    • guest says:


      -NY Back Office

  18. Mexi_Cant says:

    Matty boy, you are awfully fortunate I have spent the entire day thinking about all the wonderful yet dirty things I would like to do to Miss Pmco. However, I am up to the Cleveland Steamer and I don't know how much more I can think of, so please be a lad and post a new article. Cheers.

  19. Guest says:

    Take a lap Matt.

  20. Fred says:

    Matt – Where are the Customers' Posts?

  21. Abe_Froman_ says:

    Matt's work without Bess there to smack him around: 6 hours, 1 post, ZERO charts….

    Bess better come back or send pics soon

  22. boss says:

    when the bess is away…

  23. Guest says:

    Jamie is hot!

  24. Guest says:

    why all the deleted comments today?

  25. Guest says:

    I guess since Bess is on vacation, I will take a DB vacation as well and just read Zero Hedge. Though making fun of ML is pretty satisfying.

  26. Guest says:

    Levine – is the first tag a brad neely reference

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