• 16 Sep 2011 at 10:51 AM
  • Banks

Kweku Katastrophe Prompts ‘If You See Something, Say Something’ Reminder From JPMorgan

By Bess Levin

Don’t let one bad apple ruin it for the rest of us- be vigilant, my beautiful babies.

From: ibbroadcast@ib.jpmorgan.com
To: Investment Bank, North America
Sent: Thursday 9/15/2011 2:42PM
Subject: Unauthorized Trading

Today UBS announced that it discovered an estimated $2 billion loss due to unauthorized trading by a trader it its Investment Bank, which may result in a net loss for the bank’s third quarter. This incident illustrates the monetary and reputational damage that a single individual’s misconduct can potentially cause a global financial institution.

All of us have a duty to adhere to the highest standards of integrity and fair dealing, and to comply with the spirit as well as the letter of the law, regulations and policies that govern our business activities. JPMorgan depends on you not only to observe these standards in your own business dealings but to be vigilant to the potential misconduct of fellow colleagues, clients, or our service providers. Our Code of Conduct requires you to promptly escalate any known or suspected violation, either to your supervisor, Legal and Compliance or anonymously to the Code Reporting Hotline or the Global Security and Investigation Department.

Questions? Please contact your Compliance Officer.

Comments (22)

  1. 1
    Posted by Guest | September 16, 2011 at 11:00 AM

    The Compliance Officer is clearly not in compliance with spelling 'reputational' correctly

  2. 2
    Posted by Guest | September 16, 2011 at 11:00 AM

    "monetary and repetitional damage" of UBS

    It's good to see JPM following in Dealbreaker's footsteps

  3. 3
    Posted by Quad | September 16, 2011 at 11:02 AM

    What is repetitional damage? Getting mentioned in the newspaper too many times? Sounds like they need a smarter compliance officer…

  4. 4
    Posted by Guest | September 16, 2011 at 11:02 AM

    http://lmgtfy.com/?q=repetitional

  5. 5
    Posted by Read before sending | September 16, 2011 at 11:02 AM

    "that a single individual’s misconduct cant potentially cause a global financial institution." – don't they mean CAN?

  6. 6
    Posted by Guest | September 16, 2011 at 11:03 AM

    At this point, all UBS can hope for is a better PR firm…

  7. 7
    Posted by Guest | September 16, 2011 at 11:05 AM

    Dammit. That's the last fucking time we have UBS draft a memo for us.

    - JPM compliance

  8. 8
    Posted by Guest | September 16, 2011 at 11:07 AM

    I'm aware of the word. However, although UBS loves losing $Bs, I don't believe that it's repetitively due to rogue traders. Now kindly kill yourself.

  9. 9
    Posted by Pete from the Bush | September 16, 2011 at 11:08 AM

    Dear Compliance Officer,

    I'm about to embezzle $2 billion. Bad idea? I'll be here til 3:00.

    A guy about to embezzle from our firm

  10. 10
    Posted by The Truth | September 16, 2011 at 11:15 AM

    PS This is Jamie, I'll cut you if you fuck with my fortress balance sheet

  11. 11
    Posted by MeVC | September 16, 2011 at 11:48 AM

    something you get from spanking it too much.

  12. 12
    Posted by How Dare You, Matt | September 16, 2011 at 11:49 AM

    You made mommy have to leave vacation early : (

  13. 13
    Posted by Heiss | September 16, 2011 at 12:00 PM

    Snitches are dying breed…

  14. 14
    Posted by Guest | September 16, 2011 at 12:10 PM

    Not sure if different versions went out, but reputational is spelled correctly in mine.

    - JPM IB IT Guy

  15. 15
    Posted by Citi's Nuts | September 16, 2011 at 12:24 PM

    From: vickles2pickles@citi.in
    To: compliance@ib.jpmorgan.com
    Sent: Thursday 9/15/2011 2:42PM
    Subject: Unauthorized Jab

    I once saw a Jamie Dimon, I believe he works for your firm, make an unauthorized jab at one of our associates. Then you hired said associate.

    VK

  16. 16
    Posted by Silly Guest | September 16, 2011 at 12:43 PM

    Um, feel free to drop the "IB" part from your signature. You're just an IT guy, doesnt mattter what division you work for. Sorry

  17. 17
    Posted by guy 2 cubes over | September 16, 2011 at 2:14 PM

    I see what you did there….

  18. 18
    Posted by Guest | September 16, 2011 at 2:50 PM

    Get back to pressing the submit button. I need you to keep making money so I can get a bonus.

    Thank you

    Sincerely

    JPM IB IT Guy

  19. 19
    Posted by guest | September 16, 2011 at 2:56 PM

    No reward? Fuck'em.

    (Guest who forgets what movie that's from)

  20. 20
    Posted by Guest | September 16, 2011 at 3:12 PM

    Perfect representation of JPM tech

  21. 21
    Posted by Guest | September 16, 2011 at 5:02 PM

    Calling all snitches!

  22. 22
    Posted by UBS CRO | September 18, 2011 at 5:33 PM

    Ok, we will have our HR privately contact JPM's IB Risk team.
    The UBS board has just approved $2bn additional funding to hire more risk managers.
    Cheers

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