Opening Bell: 09.13.11

The Trouble With French Banks (WSJ)
‘We can no longer borrow dollars. U.S. money-market funds are not lending to us anymore,” a bank executive for BNP Paribas, who declines to be named, told me last week. “Since we don’t have access to dollars anymore, we’re creating a market in euros. This is a first. . . . We hope it will work, otherwise the downward spiral will be hell. We will no longer be trusted at all and no one will lend to us anymore.”

Market turmoil lands hedge funds with big losses (FT)
According to the latest provisional figures from Hedge Fund Research, the average hedge fund manager has lost 4.1 per cent in the past four weeks. Equity-focused managers have fared even worse, losing an estimated 6.9 per cent – a staggering drop for an industry that prides itself on risk management, and charges accordingly.

Merkel Rejects Greek Default, Defends Euro-Area Integrity (Bloomberg)
“The top priority is to avoid an uncontrolled insolvency, because that wouldn’t just hit Greece and the danger that it hits everyone, or at least a number of other countries, is very big,” Merkel told Berlin-based broadcaster Inforadio. “I have made my position very clear: that everything must be done to keep the euro area together politically, because we would very quickly face a domino effect.”

Nomura Said to Prepare Cuts of About 5% of Jobs in Europe (Bloomberg)
The reductions may be announced as early as tomorrow, the people said, declining to be identified because the information is confidential. Fewer than 400 positions will be eliminated globally, with the majority in Europe, one of the people said.

Candidates Perry, Romney differ in tone on Fed and Bernanke (Reuters)
Former Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney, who has said he would not re-appoint Bernanke, has been less critical of the Fed and defended the central bank’s role to preserve the value of currency and ensure investor confidence. “Of course we should see what the Fed is doing – there should be some oversight to make sure that it is acting properly – but at the same time we need to recognize we need to have a Fed,” Romney said.

‘Killer’ rep for S&M’er (NYP)
Leather-loving Edythe Maa, whose lawyer boyfriend was shot and killed three years ago by a crazed client, just found her newest beau dead in the attic. The 29-year-old former-Ph.D.-student-turned- S&M-model, better known as Jade Vixen, made the horrific discovery Aug. 18 in their home in Drexel Hill, Pa., police said. Peter Stelzenmuller, 49, an engineer — who, based on online photos, seemed to share her kinky interests — was testing new scuba equipment when he died, according to a police report.

Doubts Cast on Whether China will Help Out Italy (CNBC)
“Don’t forget this is Italy telling us, not China. We’re not hearing anything from China,” Simon Derrick, chief currency strategist at BNY Mellon, told CNBC Tuesday.

Dark Side of Brazil’s Rise (WSJ)
“We have to defend ourselves from this immense, fantastic, extraordinary sea of liquidity that finds its way to our economies in search of returns that it can’t find in its own,” Ms. Rousseff told Latin American leaders on July 28 in Lima.

Detroit Sets Its Future on a Foundation of Two-Tier Wages (NYT)
What was once seen as a desperate move to prop up the struggling auto industry is now considered an integral part of its future. The demand for $14-an-hour manufacturing jobs is providing Detroit’s Big Three automakers with a ready pool of eager new employees. Last year, Chrysler was flooded with inquiries about the jobs here. It froze the list after receiving 10,000 applications.

GOP Balks at Taxes to Finance Jobs Plan (WSJ)
“It would be fair to say this tax increase on job creators is the kind of proposal both parties have opposed in the past,” said Michael Steel, a spokesman for House Speaker John Boehner (R., Ohio). “We remain eager to work together on ways to support job growth, but this proposal doesn’t appear to have been offered in that bipartisan spirit.”

Saving Europe with sovereign equity (interfluidity)
European governments would define a new class of security: European Sovereign Equity Shares. Governments would issue and sell these securities at par. Dividends would accrue at the Eurozone inflation rate (and negative accruals could occur in the event of outright deflation). However, these would be true equity securities. The timing of any redemptions, whether of principal or accrued dividends, in part or in full, would be at the discretion of the issuing sovereign.

Cybersex examined by UNB Fredericton student (CBC)
Shaughnessy won the 2010 International Academy of Sex Research’s best student manuscript for her research. … “A key piece in the research that I’m conducting right now is, who do you have cybersex with? One thing that is across the board — whether I’m talking to researchers, students, anybody — is this notion that cybersex is two strangers hiding from their offline partners engaging in sex online, and I don’t think that’s reality,” she said.

Comments (16)

  1. Posted by Guest | September 13, 2011 at 8:32 AM

    Drowning in your attic while wearing scuba gear is the new 'You Should Have Killed Yourself Anyway'.

  2. Posted by Texas Stringer | September 13, 2011 at 8:40 AM

    I don't know who "Dealbreaker" is but he/she is finding some pretty funny/interesting stuff.

    -Guy Who Hunts for Funny News Items As Well

  3. Posted by 25th Hour Trader | September 13, 2011 at 8:59 AM

    ‘We can no longer borrow dollars."

    I feel their pain. I can no longer borrow in any currency.

    -L. Dykstra

  4. Posted by Matt's AM Pep Talk | September 13, 2011 at 9:06 AM

    "Ok Matt, today is the day. Shake off yesterday's performance. Everyone has bad days. Heck, I bet even Bess has made a bad post. Not all of her tags are funny, right?…What Mom?!?! I am in the bathroom!!!"
    - Matt Levine

  5. Posted by Cut Me | September 13, 2011 at 9:28 AM

    S&M?!? Is that like H&M, but for car parts?
    -UBS MD

  6. Posted by Guest | September 13, 2011 at 10:21 AM

    You mean H&K? Too soon?

  7. Posted by Guest | September 13, 2011 at 10:21 AM

    T minus 3 hours

  8. Posted by Guest | September 13, 2011 at 10:24 AM

    Well, I'll see you guys in a couple of hours for a correlation analysis of Greek CDS spreads and Rafael Nadal's US Open performance.

    - guy who only looked at the Bloomberg headlines

  9. Posted by FKApmco | September 13, 2011 at 11:31 AM

    Today's Avatar is me relaxing after a dive. My scuba gear worked fine.

  10. Posted by Guest | September 13, 2011 at 11:54 AM

    pmco can we be friends on facebook?

  11. Posted by Guest | September 13, 2011 at 11:54 AM

    - not ILPA but a fan of his work

  12. Posted by FKApmco | September 13, 2011 at 12:35 PM

    Sure. Reply with your email and I'll friend you later.

  13. Posted by Guest | September 13, 2011 at 12:46 PM
  14. Posted by FKApmco | September 13, 2011 at 1:21 PM

    +10

  15. Posted by Merchant Refugee | September 13, 2011 at 5:40 PM

    so…no problems getting that regulator in your mouth? nice.

  16. Posted by FKApmco | September 13, 2011 at 6:03 PM

    Thanks for that MR. I was sure there would be jokes about regulators, optimal snorkel length, buoyancy vests, buoyancy compressors, rash guards, masks, etc and was disappointed none turned up. I can now go home a happy woman.

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