• 06 Sep 2011 at 5:29 PM

Straight Male Model Will Enthusiastically Blow You Once For A Toe In The Door (Multiple Times If You’ve Got Pull At Evercore, Lazard)

By

What? Times are tough.

[Craiglist]

Comments (43)

  1. 1
    Posted by LazyLightning | September 6, 2011 at 5:35 PM

    How did you get my post?
    – Hon. B. Frank

  2. 2
    Posted by Optimus Quant | September 6, 2011 at 5:45 PM

    Give me his deets. I may be able to set him up with a job writing a GUI for risk management.

    –BB VP in IT

  3. 3
    Posted by Dr_Rosenrose | September 6, 2011 at 5:49 PM

    I love that "Beggars can't be choosers" is in reference to relocating to global financial hubs and not sucking and/or fucking dudes.

  4. 4
    Posted by VonSloneker | September 6, 2011 at 5:57 PM

    Let's see…I'm a morally bankrupt, male model with a finance degree. Which of the following will allow me to have a shot at a career and maintain some dignity around the office (a) sugar mama who can stroke me in via the charity circuit or (b) giving blowskis to MDs.

    …just come out already. Or, just call this guy: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/8741143/He…

    -Guy who thinks a,b,c multiple choice lists are the soul of wit

  5. 5
    Posted by guest | September 6, 2011 at 5:57 PM

    Google translate: I will record our encounter to post on Craigslist/Dealbreaker if needed. UBS/RBC/BarCap need not respond, thanks.

  6. 6
    Posted by BessLevin | September 6, 2011 at 5:58 PM

    I laughed.

  7. 7
    Posted by Guest | September 6, 2011 at 6:04 PM

    So you're saying if your post had a (c) option it would have been funny?

  8. 8
    Posted by guest | September 6, 2011 at 6:06 PM

    MBA vs CFA tag would be funny.

  9. 9
    Posted by VonSloneker | September 6, 2011 at 6:13 PM

    You're right…

    (c) Come on DB as a guest and shut down the thread about my CL posting

  10. 10
    Posted by Mitch | September 6, 2011 at 6:16 PM

    UBS sucks?

  11. 11
    Posted by wahoo | September 6, 2011 at 6:24 PM

    If you help me, I will literally suck your dick, right now. I'll cradle the balls, stroke the shaft, work the pipe, and swallow the gravy. Get it over here, buddy. Let's do this.

    -Jeff Portnoy

  12. 12
    Posted by Guest | September 6, 2011 at 6:36 PM

    Gay Banker's already on it.

    - nostalgic Dealbreaker guy

  13. 13
    Posted by Guest | September 6, 2011 at 6:38 PM

    I thought this was already a standard part of Round 29 of Goldman interviews. Wait a minute…

  14. 14
    Posted by kenny_lingus | September 6, 2011 at 6:39 PM

    Seems to me this guy is late to the party. Everyone on Wall Street sucks dick. And at least half of them think they're male models.

  15. 15
    Posted by merkin_capital | September 6, 2011 at 6:43 PM

    Mckinsey used to use this very scenario as a case interview.

    (become a gay male prost but diversify into tranny shit = FT offer)

  16. 16
    Posted by deal_mkr | September 6, 2011 at 7:06 PM

    well male models and successful analysts have one thing in common – they do what they are told

  17. 17
    Posted by Lazy Fare | September 6, 2011 at 7:12 PM

    Now we had a chance to meet this young man, and boy that's just a straight shooter with upper management written all over him.

    - The Bobs

  18. 18
    Posted by Guest | September 6, 2011 at 7:39 PM

    Does your offer include marker play and taking female hormones? If so, we have just the right position for you.

    -Ping Jiang

  19. 19
    Posted by Barry Badrinath | September 6, 2011 at 7:40 PM

    This guy is stealing my customers. By the way I charge $10 for a BJ, $12 for an HJ, $15 for a ZJ

  20. 20
    Posted by Guesticle | September 6, 2011 at 7:47 PM

    Whoring yourself out for the chance to whore yourself out is the NKI

  21. 21
    Posted by tomahawk | September 6, 2011 at 8:20 PM

    * frisk management

  22. 22
    Posted by tomahawk | September 6, 2011 at 8:22 PM

    so does this guy

  23. 23
    Posted by tomahawk | September 6, 2011 at 8:25 PM

    well ur clearly not very good if you still havent copped an offer yet

  24. 24
    Posted by Massaging Dicks | September 6, 2011 at 8:41 PM

    I'm sorry, only CFA charter holders give the best blowjobs. Repost this in 3 years.

  25. 25
    Posted by the alien | September 6, 2011 at 11:39 PM

    What makes you think you're so special, we've been doing it for years, join the club.

    - 95% of the women in finance

    P.S. yeah, I know that's not true, ok, it's just funny

  26. 26
    Posted by youfuckingsuck | September 7, 2011 at 1:25 AM

    "it's just funny"

    says no one.

  27. 27
    Posted by guest | September 7, 2011 at 1:25 AM

    Kill yourself and be reincarnated as someone who's actually funny

  28. 28
    Posted by senior guest | September 7, 2011 at 1:28 AM

    Please let the "you don't need to 'verify who you are' until 'down the road' = BTW I'm a summer intern" tag get a lot of use.

  29. 29
    Posted by Mr. Garrison | September 7, 2011 at 3:04 AM

    I’m straight, but I will blow you and let you penetrate me.

  30. 30
    Posted by Bill | September 7, 2011 at 8:17 AM

    I thought brevity was the soul of wit?

    - W. Shakespeare

  31. 31
    Posted by VonSloneker | September 7, 2011 at 9:27 AM

    Indeed, lots of limbs and outward flourishes in that one…

    -Lord Polonious

  32. 32
    Posted by #REFeree | September 7, 2011 at 9:52 AM

    Will he work for me if I suck his cock? Just remember u+ me = You & Us…

    -UBS MD

  33. 33
    Posted by guest | September 7, 2011 at 10:39 AM

    If I recall correctly, doesn't the dick sucking begin once you BEGIN working for a BB?

  34. 34
    Posted by wahoo | September 7, 2011 at 11:09 AM

    Hilarious!

  35. 35
    Posted by LatAm Guy | September 7, 2011 at 11:31 AM

    Just dont believe when they thell you they are not gonna cum in your mouth

    - lynn tilton

  36. 36
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  37. 37
    Posted by Abe_Froman_ | September 7, 2011 at 1:03 PM

    Isn't straight male model an oxymoron?

  38. 38
    Posted by bambinoitaliano | September 8, 2011 at 6:18 PM

    Geez, Is this guy a bait to lure more Republicans out of the closets?

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