Is this thing on?

Wall Street Protest 2011: How Long Must A Child Of Parents With Multiple Degrees Beg To Be Arrested Before Someone Listens?

A prettay, prettay, prettay long time.

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137 Responses to “Wall Street Protest 2011: How Long Must A Child Of Parents With Multiple Degrees Beg To Be Arrested Before Someone Listens?”

  1. ShortNaked says:

    Sounds like his parents are over educated and under employed.

  2. Bandersnatch says:

    I think these people seem a little overdramatic.

    • Guest says:

      Rabble!

    • Guest says:

      I disagree.

      If I thought that you could pay a mortgage with advanced degrees and then was told otherwise, id be fucking pissed off too.

    • guestapo says:

      As does Mrs. Stephens:

      Phone inquiries into the county property records & taxpayer services office reveal that the Stephens family home is not and never has been in foreclosure, that property taxes had been paid in full this year and the remaining balance on their mortgage for the half-million dollar home is less than one year’s worth of tuition+fees at their son’s law school.
      The nail in this empty protest‘s coffin is a delightful phone conversation I just had with Robert’s mother, Marquita, where she admitted Chase Bank indeed was not “taking” their home from them. Instead, due to a recent “reduction in income,” they’ve decided to hold a “short sale.”

  3. Backdoor_Bess says:

    I would also rather go to jail than go home to my two pigs every night……..this guy is a genius!
    ~ Phil

  4. iLLwiLL says:

    Where to start…if his parents have advanced degrees and are so "highly educated," why did they take on a mortgage that they couldn't afford? They should have done something noble and become an investment banker.

    Second, is sitting in the street screaming at the outside of a building realy a good way to make your point? You do realize that all the Wall Streeters are inside WORKING, don't you?

    • early_hominid says:

      About that second point . . .

      – Hosni Mubarak

    • DingALing says:

      If they're yelling at a bulge bracket on Wall Street, they'll have to be yell pretty fucking loud because most banks relocated to midtown years ago…

    • Dustin says:

      Turns out he was lier, his parents home was not taken and they actualy have 70,000ish left to pay on a 500,000 home. There home was never foreclosed or in any danger of being foreclosed on.

  5. Guest says:

    Too much student debt means I can't pay for my house. Genius!

  6. Alt_EST says:

    Hey, Sean Penn called and asked you to dial it down a notch.

    -Sterling Archer

  7. Blah blah says:

    Sad but idiotic – the guy can still get a job at a very left wing organization (that was his internship application).

  8. Guest says:

    motives?

  9. Guest says:

    Stephens & Wollensky

  10. Dr_Rosenrose says:

    I think your cousin Kweku has exacted enough vengeance on the industry. This is a bit much.

  11. Guest says:

    "Take me" and "I submit" are phrases he'll want to avoid in jail

  12. Mr. Pinchy says:

    I think we found our new CEO!

    UBS Board of Confectioners

  13. bcad says:

    Don't make me come out there!

    -J Dimon

  14. PermaGuestII says:

    I didn't know law schools admitted three-year-olds.

  15. guest says:

    These protestors are right, fuck obama and his wall street taxes

  16. Policeman says:

    I thought we already arrested Kweku?

  17. Steven with a "ph" says:

    Any relation, Bess?

  18. guest says:

    Oy vey.

    -Dad

  19. Guest says:

    Pretty shitty commercial for GWU law school if you ask me

  20. Mexi_Cant says:

    So it looks like Elie wasn't in the office today Bess?

  21. Guest says:

    Someone tell Elie Mystal to cool it with the theatrics.

  22. Guest says:

    Asking to get arrested in definitely the NKI.

  23. Guest says:

    I think hes more saddened by the fact that he went to a garbage law school, is going to graduate with lots of debt, and will have not have a job.

  24. Hey Now! says:

    He looks like Samuel L. Jackson from Die Hard 3.

  25. Thurston Howell I says:

    Total bullshit!! My pro-shop at Pine Valley told me that Peter Milar didn't make that pullover in off white and now I see that I was completely played. So now I am walking around with powder blue – I will not take this sitting down.

  26. Nailz6 says:

    I think this guy has a future with us. We like his moxy.

    – UBS board of directors

  27. ARREST THIS! says:

    Gotta be related to Hermon Raju the "well educated" Metro North rider…

  28. Al & Jesse says:

    Honestly dude, have you ever even seen a TV? This is not how we do it.

  29. Not Me says:

    Hey now. There are plenty of positions for one to take. Forward me your CV and include some full-body shots, then we can talk.
    -Peter North, Northstar Associates CEO

  30. Will Smith says:

    Will – please bail out Carlton

  31. Mexi_Cant says:

    Ok but in all seriousness, during his diversity seminars, did they not explain to him that you still have to pay your mortgage, EVEN if you have a Ph.D?

  32. Guest of a Guest says:

    Not cool

  33. Meatbone9 says:

    We're not gonna protest….

  34. George Takei says:

    Oh, my Goodness Howard and Robin. Has another glorious summer passed us by. It is so hard to believe that Summer Stock has already ended. But I must say, Brad and I do love to see great street theatre and basque in the exhibition of talents from the wonderful class of 2011.

  35. guest says:

    Just fuck off.

  36. Guesto says:

    So I guess you need a Ph.D and 2 Masters to know that a $800,000 house with 3% down is a killer deal, bro

  37. I'm a Dude says:

    i didn't realize was on wall street today

  38. Zoroz says:

    I played by the rules. I voted for Obama because he was going to pay my mortgage. I am not moving.

  39. I'm a Dude says:

    Bob, are you sure thats the bank?

  40. Anonymous says:

    you know, at least the hippies in the 60’s had a halfway coherent argument…these children are just spoiled

    i read a quote about a college sophomore bitching that she couldn’t get a job that wasn’t waiting tables. that’s what college students are for…shitty jobs and food challenges when they’re my intern…you get your degree and THEN you get a big boy job.

  41. curious says:

    this isn't the same guy that was doing naked exercises a few weeks ago is it?

  42. Guest says:

    DEY TOOK OUR HOMES!

  43. Montgomery Burns says:

    We need another Vietnam to thin out their ranks…

  44. merkin_capital says:

    I think he meant George Washington Carver university.

    #peanutisactuallyalegume

  45. Guest says:

    Hippies this is how it ends: you end up selling out only when you finally come around to tying a tie for an interview, it's for a dogshit back office gig with a bunch of other people who have a 20 year head start on you and no kids named "sunshine" or "wildflower". Get a job deadbeats!

  46. CuriousGeorge says:

    Nice Work MLK Jr

  47. Yomom says:

    Stephen with a PH – um, with a PH please.

  48. HAM05 says:

    yep, its official – just got douche chills.

  49. guest says:

    You keep it going man, you keep those books rolling,
    You pick up those books your going to read
    And not remember and you roll man.
    You get that a sociate degree, okay,
    Then you get your bachelors, then you get your masters
    Then you get your master's masters,
    Then you get your doctron,
    You go man, then when everybody says quit
    You show them those degree man, when
    Everybody says hey, your not working,
    Your not making in money,
    You say look at my degrees and you look at my life,
    Yeah i'm 52, so what, hate all you want,
    But i'm smart, i'm so smart, and i'm in school,
    And these guys are out here making
    Money all these ways, and i'm spended mine to be smart.
    You know why?
    Because when i die, buddy, you know
    What going to keep me warm, that right, those degrees

  50. The Bankster says:

    Which bank?

  51. 99Percent says:

    Wall Streeters had planned a counter-protest, but realized they actually had to do their jobs instead of sitting around in a park all week

  52. Guest says:

    Wet Bandits – that's W-E-T…

  53. Guest says:

    … According to his mother, "The nail in this empty protest‘s coffin is a delightful phone conversation I just had with Robert’s mother, Marquita, where she admitted Chase Bank indeed was not “taking” their home from them. Instead, due to a recent “reduction in income,” they’ve decided to hold a “short sale.”

    When I asked Mrs. Stephens if she and her husband planned to stay in their suburban St. Paul, Minn., surroundings after the sale, she told me they weren’t too keen on the idea. The area is “a bit too conservative,” she said."

  54. 5th Grader says:

    I thought paying your mortgage was one of the rules of having a house? I guess having all those PhD's doesn't make you smarter than a 5th grader?
    – 5th grader P.S. 119

  55. His Parents says:

    2002 Home Purchase Price – $350,000
    In 2005 refinanced home pulling out equity of $500,000
    Used $500,000 to go on numerous vacations, new 750 BMW for him, new Lexus for her, new Cadillac for their son, pay off son's student loans, gift son $50,000, send son on a few vacations, redo house.
    Now I'm broke and it's the bank's fault I have no self control.

  56. Guest says:

    This would never happen down here.

    -Jasper, TX City Council

  57. Jamie D says:

    Be glad to take a few more of these homes.

    -Jamie

  58. George Washington really? says:

    …couldnt swing a better law school? with the urm and stuff he must have really bombed the LSAT…

  59. FinneganKristiansen says:

    I'm thinking his parents are probably pretty embarrassed.

  60. Guest says:

    I hope this was a class project for his improv troop

  61. truthskies says:

    except that his parents didn't make any missteps and they're embarrassed by him:

    Phone inquiries into the county property records & taxpayer services office reveal that the Stephens family home is not and never has been in foreclosure, that property taxes had been paid in full this year and the remaining balance on their mortgage for the half-million dollar home is less than one year’s worth of tuition+fees at their son’s law school.
    The nail in this empty protest‘s coffin is a delightful phone conversation I just had with Robert’s mother, Marquita, where she admitted Chase Bank indeed was not “taking” their home from them. Instead, due to a recent “reduction in income,” they’ve decided to hold a “short sale.”

    • Guest says:

      Missteps:
      1. Not being able to afford the mortgage on their $500k house
      2. Going into a short sale with 70k left on their mortgage
      3. Not knowing what a short sale is – ie: thinking they're moving away after the short sale
      4. Potentially spending $400k+ on the education of their extremely confused son

  62. bawlsdeep says:

    @57, that comment is epic on many levels.

  63. lol wut says:

    We need an #OccupyBrooklyn movement. Lets get all the financiers we can and go camp out over there. I can already see it now: "Thats him! Thats the guy that stole my sister's jeans!"

  64. Some DC Guy says:

    George Washington gives out four year degrees AND has a law school, now? Who knew.

  65. bartleby says:

    Mom and Dad must have thought obama would cover the mortgage. They should have gone in for pigford.

  66. Twigga says:

    [Man]
    Hey Jimmy where you going?

    [Jimmy]
    I dont know where I'm goin.
    My Dad died, and he left me his degrees.
    My mom would always say "Dad, why dont you work?",
    But he just kept learning.
    All the other kids parents were working and saving up money for school,
    And I was actaully in school all when my dad was in school.
    He was so gready with degrees, he took my degree.
    And now I'm just glad he left me these.
    Because all the regular homeless people have newspaper, and look what I have.
    These are documented.
    My father left them for me.
    And Im going to leave them to my kids.
    I'm going to learn too.
    I'm going to get super smart, so I to can die without money.
    But I'll be the smartest dead guy.
    Who has that.

  67. Guest says:

    Lets keep it real. The biggest irony here is that this silly protest is costing the city and ultimately tax payers, MONEY-heightened security, crowd control, and overtime for New York's finest.

    Lets protest the protesters. Who's with me?!

  68. lTea says:

    wall street is all candy shops and tiffanys now. Wrong street you jerks

  69. World of Wallcraft says:

    Now if you got arrested for civil disobedience in the 60's you could bullshit your way through life saying it wan't a big deal. You just went to the protest to hang out with the chicks and have some free street food. No one had any hard evidence of your stupidity. This guy on the other hand is going to have his name permanently tagged to that wonderful video for pretty much the remainder of his life. It's like getting a tattoo on your forehead that says "Wild Bitch" except that this tattoo is never coming off Mr. Stephens with a PH.

  70. Randy Watson says:

    I would make his parent's mortgage payment if he'll scream 'Sexual Chocolate…..sexual chocolate" for my voice mail message…

  71. Guest says:

    The ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER
    This one is a little different.
    Two Different Versions. Two Different Morals.

    OLD VERSION:

    The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house, and laying up supplies for the winter.

    The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

    Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.

    The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

    MORAL OF THE OLD STORY:

    Be responsible for yourself!
    ———————————————-
    MODERN VERSION:

    The ant works hard in the withering heat and the rain all summer long, building his house, and laying up supplies for the winter.

    The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

    Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while he is cold and starving.

    CBS, NBC, PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with
    a table filled with food. America is stunned by the sharp contrast.

    How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

    Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper and everybody cries when they sing, 'It's Not Easy Being Green.'

    ACORN stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film the group singing, We Shall Overcome.

    Then Rev. Jeremiah Wright has the group kneel down to pray for the grasshopper's sake.

    President Obama condemns the ant and blames President Bush, President Reagan, Christopher Columbus, and the Pope for the grasshopper's plight.

    Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid exclaim in an interview with Larry King that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share.

    Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity and Anti-Ant Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer.

    The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government Green Czar and given to the grasshopper.

    The story ends as we see the grasshopper and his free-loading friends finishing up the last bits of the ant's food while the government house he is in, which, as you recall, just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around them because the grasshopper doesn't maintain it.

    The ant has disappeared in the snow, never to be seen again.

    The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident, and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize and ramshackle the once prosperous and peaceful, neighborhood.

    The entire Nation collapses bringing the rest of the free world with it.

    MORAL OF THE STORY:

    Be careful how you vote in 2012.

    I've sent this to you because I believe that you are an ant!

    You may wish to pass this on to other ants, but don't bother sending it on to any grasshoppers because they wouldn't understand it, anyway.

  72. momentus says:

    Man, that was funny.

  73. Guest CFA says:

    He could have saved a lot of time with the never fail I want to get thrown in jail line to the cops: "You'll never get those cuffs on me, you pussy!"

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  82. Guest says:

    It's kept secret and only passed along by word of mouth just so we can get their house

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