A prettay, prettay, prettay long time.
- 27 Sep 2011 at 2:37 PM
- Posted in:
Is this thing on?
Wall Street Protest 2011: How Long Must A Child Of Parents With Multiple Degrees Beg To Be Arrested Before Someone Listens?
By Bess LevinTags: ARREST ME, I will go to jail tonight, I'm a law student at George Washington University, I'm not moving, is this thing on??????, my dad has a Ph.D two masters degrees and a college degree, my mom has a masters degree, next time dress up like a drunk chick and maybe they'll pay more attention, Robert Stephens, Stephens with a 'ph', that's the bank, Wall Street Protest 2011
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Sounds like his parents are over educated and under employed.
I think these people seem a little overdramatic.
I would also rather go to jail than go home to my two pigs every night……..this guy is a genius!
~ Phil
Where to start…if his parents have advanced degrees and are so "highly educated," why did they take on a mortgage that they couldn't afford? They should have done something noble and become an investment banker.
Second, is sitting in the street screaming at the outside of a building realy a good way to make your point? You do realize that all the Wall Streeters are inside WORKING, don't you?
Too much student debt means I can't pay for my house. Genius!
About that second point . . .
– Hosni Mubarak
Hey, Sean Penn called and asked you to dial it down a notch.
-Sterling Archer
Sad but idiotic – the guy can still get a job at a very left wing organization (that was his internship application).
I think George Washington is a community college.
motives?
Stephens & Wollensky
I think your cousin Kweku has exacted enough vengeance on the industry. This is a bit much.
No, motives thoroughly examined, but then I saw the video. This guy is not even qualified to do a 'leave Britney alone' video.
"Take me" and "I submit" are phrases he'll want to avoid in jail
I think we found our new CEO!
UBS Board of Confectioners
Don't make me come out there!
-J Dimon
I didn't know law schools admitted three-year-olds.
I thought it was a bridge.
These protestors are right, fuck obama and his wall street taxes
I thought we already arrested Kweku?
Any relation, Bess?
Oy vey.
-Dad
Pretty shitty commercial for GWU law school if you ask me
So it looks like Elie wasn't in the office today Bess?
I thought he was sometimes a dollar, and other times a quarter.
-BSC FICC Trader
Someone tell Elie Mystal to cool it with the theatrics.
Asking to get arrested in definitely the NKI.
for the record, i enjoyed that comment.
- guy who hit the "thumbs down" by accident
I think hes more saddened by the fact that he went to a garbage law school, is going to graduate with lots of debt, and will have not have a job.
He'll also want to avoid the phrase "Thumbs Up!"
He looks like Samuel L. Jackson from Die Hard 3.
Total bullshit!! My pro-shop at Pine Valley told me that Peter Milar didn't make that pullover in off white and now I see that I was completely played. So now I am walking around with powder blue – I will not take this sitting down.
Small-time Baptist preacher circa 2020 right there.
I think this guy has a future with us. We like his moxy.
- UBS board of directors
I think we can structure a deal.
- Raj
"And who do we not want to help us?"
"White people!"
Rip:You just killed like ten pirates…
Duchess: Wow, if five year old me knew that, he's get a huge boner
Gotta be related to Hermon Raju the "well educated" Metro North rider…
Too slow.
Honestly dude, have you ever even seen a TV? This is not how we do it.
Rabble!
I disagree.
If I thought that you could pay a mortgage with advanced degrees and then was told otherwise, id be fucking pissed off too.
Hey now. There are plenty of positions for one to take. Forward me your CV and include some full-body shots, then we can talk.
-Peter North, Northstar Associates CEO
Will – please bail out Carlton
Ok but in all seriousness, during his diversity seminars, did they not explain to him that you still have to pay your mortgage, EVEN if you have a Ph.D?
And I can re-structure it!
-SocGen Credit Trader
Not cool
Or you can just not pay your student loans.
– Elie
Uhhh…or not.
You on the other hand have an advanced degree from No Shit Sherlock University
We're not gonna protest….
Oh, my Goodness Howard and Robin. Has another glorious summer passed us by. It is so hard to believe that Summer Stock has already ended. But I must say, Brad and I do love to see great street theatre and basque in the exhibition of talents from the wonderful class of 2011.
His parents must be so proud right now.
Yessss. Telling a bunch of people saddled with MBA/Grad school debt about student debt. That'll help.
Just fuck off.
So I guess you need a Ph.D and 2 Masters to know that a $800,000 house with 3% down is a killer deal, bro
Oh come on. That was way more than a hundred pounds.
i didn't realize was on wall street today
I played by the rules. I voted for Obama because he was going to pay my mortgage. I am not moving.
Bob, are you sure thats the bank?
you know, at least the hippies in the 60′s had a halfway coherent argument…these children are just spoiled
i read a quote about a college sophomore bitching that she couldn’t get a job that wasn’t waiting tables. that’s what college students are for…shitty jobs and food challenges when they’re my intern…you get your degree and THEN you get a big boy job.
basque?
this isn't the same guy that was doing naked exercises a few weeks ago is it?
DEY TOOK OUR HOMES!
Too soon.
HEY! some of us haven't checked our DVR's in like 5 days so watch it.
We need another Vietnam to thin out their ranks…
how do you think Elie got in to H-law
I think he meant George Washington Carver university.
#peanutisactuallyalegume
Ya needs more clowns.
- UBS Marketing Director
Or at least super AIDS
Hippies this is how it ends: you end up selling out only when you finally come around to tying a tie for an interview, it's for a dogshit back office gig with a bunch of other people who have a 20 year head start on you and no kids named "sunshine" or "wildflower". Get a job deadbeats!
We have 3 going already and they're being fought by 40yr old MBA fathers and mothers (aka heros) on leave from Wall Street firms and large banks.
Nice Work MLK Jr
Stephen with a PH – um, with a PH please.
yep, its official – just got douche chills.
You keep it going man, you keep those books rolling,
You pick up those books your going to read
And not remember and you roll man.
You get that a sociate degree, okay,
Then you get your bachelors, then you get your masters
Then you get your master's masters,
Then you get your doctron,
You go man, then when everybody says quit
You show them those degree man, when
Everybody says hey, your not working,
Your not making in money,
You say look at my degrees and you look at my life,
Yeah i'm 52, so what, hate all you want,
But i'm smart, i'm so smart, and i'm in school,
And these guys are out here making
Money all these ways, and i'm spended mine to be smart.
You know why?
Because when i die, buddy, you know
What going to keep me warm, that right, those degrees
@gherkin tsk, tsk.
Rich White Underachiever University actually.
Which bank?
Wall Streeters had planned a counter-protest, but realized they actually had to do their jobs instead of sitting around in a park all week
Wet Bandits – that's W-E-T…
… According to his mother, "The nail in this empty protest‘s coffin is a delightful phone conversation I just had with Robert’s mother, Marquita, where she admitted Chase Bank indeed was not “taking” their home from them. Instead, due to a recent “reduction in income,” they’ve decided to hold a “short sale.”
When I asked Mrs. Stephens if she and her husband planned to stay in their suburban St. Paul, Minn., surroundings after the sale, she told me they weren’t too keen on the idea. The area is “a bit too conservative,” she said."
I thought paying your mortgage was one of the rules of having a house? I guess having all those PhD's doesn't make you smarter than a 5th grader?
- 5th grader P.S. 119
2002 Home Purchase Price – $350,000
In 2005 refinanced home pulling out equity of $500,000
Used $500,000 to go on numerous vacations, new 750 BMW for him, new Lexus for her, new Cadillac for their son, pay off son's student loans, gift son $50,000, send son on a few vacations, redo house.
Now I'm broke and it's the bank's fault I have no self control.
This would never happen down here.
-Jasper, TX City Council
i would
Be glad to take a few more of these homes.
-Jamie
…couldnt swing a better law school? with the urm and stuff he must have really bombed the LSAT…
Uh, you mean Jeff Winger? But I applaud you for following two awesome shoes either way.
If they're yelling at a bulge bracket on Wall Street, they'll have to be yell pretty fucking loud because most banks relocated to midtown years ago…
I'm thinking his parents are probably pretty embarrassed.
I hope this was a class project for his improv troop
except that his parents didn't make any missteps and they're embarrassed by him:
Phone inquiries into the county property records & taxpayer services office reveal that the Stephens family home is not and never has been in foreclosure, that property taxes had been paid in full this year and the remaining balance on their mortgage for the half-million dollar home is less than one year’s worth of tuition+fees at their son’s law school.
The nail in this empty protest‘s coffin is a delightful phone conversation I just had with Robert’s mother, Marquita, where she admitted Chase Bank indeed was not “taking” their home from them. Instead, due to a recent “reduction in income,” they’ve decided to hold a “short sale.”
As does Mrs. Stephens:
Phone inquiries into the county property records & taxpayer services office reveal that the Stephens family home is not and never has been in foreclosure, that property taxes had been paid in full this year and the remaining balance on their mortgage for the half-million dollar home is less than one year’s worth of tuition+fees at their son’s law school.
The nail in this empty protest‘s coffin is a delightful phone conversation I just had with Robert’s mother, Marquita, where she admitted Chase Bank indeed was not “taking” their home from them. Instead, due to a recent “reduction in income,” they’ve decided to hold a “short sale.”
Did the bums lose? I think the bums lost.
@57, that comment is epic on many levels.
I feel like you can easily dub "IS THAT MY DAUGHTER IN THERE?!" over this video
We need an #OccupyBrooklyn movement. Lets get all the financiers we can and go camp out over there. I can already see it now: "Thats him! Thats the guy that stole my sister's jeans!"
George Washington gives out four year degrees AND has a law school, now? Who knew.
That one right there!
Mom and Dad must have thought obama would cover the mortgage. They should have gone in for pigford.
Bates?
Meh not our problem
[Man]
Hey Jimmy where you going?
[Jimmy]
I dont know where I'm goin.
My Dad died, and he left me his degrees.
My mom would always say "Dad, why dont you work?",
But he just kept learning.
All the other kids parents were working and saving up money for school,
And I was actaully in school all when my dad was in school.
He was so gready with degrees, he took my degree.
And now I'm just glad he left me these.
Because all the regular homeless people have newspaper, and look what I have.
These are documented.
My father left them for me.
And Im going to leave them to my kids.
I'm going to learn too.
I'm going to get super smart, so I to can die without money.
But I'll be the smartest dead guy.
Who has that.
Fucking atrocious.
Take a lap and/or kill yourself.
Yeah! Fuck learning! Who needs books 'n knowledge and shit when a GED will suffice.
Don't quick your day job.
"so I to can die without money"
yeah, who needs an education….
Skidmore.
Lets keep it real. The biggest irony here is that this silly protest is costing the city and ultimately tax payers, MONEY-heightened security, crowd control, and overtime for New York's finest.
Lets protest the protesters. Who's with me?!
wall street is all candy shops and tiffanys now. Wrong street you jerks
Missteps:
1. Not being able to afford the mortgage on their $500k house
2. Going into a short sale with 70k left on their mortgage
3. Not knowing what a short sale is – ie: thinking they're moving away after the short sale
4. Potentially spending $400k+ on the education of their extremely confused son
Now if you got arrested for civil disobedience in the 60's you could bullshit your way through life saying it wan't a big deal. You just went to the protest to hang out with the chicks and have some free street food. No one had any hard evidence of your stupidity. This guy on the other hand is going to have his name permanently tagged to that wonderful video for pretty much the remainder of his life. It's like getting a tattoo on your forehead that says "Wild Bitch" except that this tattoo is never coming off Mr. Stephens with a PH.
You guys are being generous.
It's kept secret and only passed along by word of mouth just so we can get their house
I would make his parent's mortgage payment if he'll scream 'Sexual Chocolate…..sexual chocolate" for my voice mail message…
The ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER
This one is a little different.
Two Different Versions. Two Different Morals.
OLD VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house, and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.
The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.
MORAL OF THE OLD STORY:
Be responsible for yourself!
———————————————-
MODERN VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat and the rain all summer long, building his house, and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while he is cold and starving.
CBS, NBC, PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with
a table filled with food. America is stunned by the sharp contrast.
How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper and everybody cries when they sing, 'It's Not Easy Being Green.'
ACORN stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film the group singing, We Shall Overcome.
Then Rev. Jeremiah Wright has the group kneel down to pray for the grasshopper's sake.
President Obama condemns the ant and blames President Bush, President Reagan, Christopher Columbus, and the Pope for the grasshopper's plight.
Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid exclaim in an interview with Larry King that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share.
Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity and Anti-Ant Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer.
The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government Green Czar and given to the grasshopper.
The story ends as we see the grasshopper and his free-loading friends finishing up the last bits of the ant's food while the government house he is in, which, as you recall, just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around them because the grasshopper doesn't maintain it.
The ant has disappeared in the snow, never to be seen again.
The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident, and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize and ramshackle the once prosperous and peaceful, neighborhood.
The entire Nation collapses bringing the rest of the free world with it.
MORAL OF THE STORY:
Be careful how you vote in 2012.
I've sent this to you because I believe that you are an ant!
You may wish to pass this on to other ants, but don't bother sending it on to any grasshoppers because they wouldn't understand it, anyway.
Man, that was funny.
He could have saved a lot of time with the never fail I want to get thrown in jail line to the cops: "You'll never get those cuffs on me, you pussy!"
LOL!!! You spin great yarn!!
DAT OON WRITE DER!
The American dream the American method thank you LBJ!
One of DB's best posts ever!
Because all black people are related? Examine your motives…..
Turns out he was lier, his parents home was not taken and they actualy have 70,000ish left to pay on a 500,000 home. There home was never foreclosed or in any danger of being foreclosed on.
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