Communiqués

Bill Gross Would Have Beaten His Benchmark Had He Not Eaten Those 500 Basis Points

Several weeks back, bond manager Bill Gross wrote a very personal letter to investors about feeling fat. In it, he spoke of hating his “spare tire,” feeling self-conscious about wearing a bathing suit, and preferring to be shot dead than getting a glimpse of what his ass has become. Today, Bill sent out another letter, entitled “Mea Culpa,” in which he apologized to PIMCO investors for the poor performance of the firm’s Total Return Fund (which through Wednesday was up a mere 1.1 percent versus the 5.7 percent benchmark). And yet perhaps it is the investors who should be apologizing to Mr. Bill?

Because it would appear they have only themselves to blame for 1) the performance of the fund and 2) Gross’s expanding waist-line and body issues.

According Gross, he and El-Erian have felt so sick over the fund’s returns that they’ve been spending all their waking hours at the the office trying to turn things around, focusing on precious little else, like working on those obliques.

…introspective mea culpas are perhaps cleansing but somewhat suspicious in nature. The purpose and even the author’s subjective assessment can always be legitimately questioned. But suspicions aside, let me begin by stating this: There is no “quit” in me or anyone else on the PIMCO premises. The early morning and even midnight hours have gone up, not down, to match the increasing complexity of the global financial markets. The competitive fire burns even hotter. I/ we respect our competition but we want to squash them each and every day. You the client have 100% of our attention as always, as do your portfolios…So where do we go from here? Our internal growth forecast for developed economies is now 0% over the coming several quarters and the portfolio more accurately reflects this posture. Yet even so, can the golden glove regain its magic? Well, as I’ve indicated, we’re showing up early every day at the ballpark – in this case for a little fielding practice.

Additionally, Gross also told investors in a conference call this morning that he had “emails to prove” he’s been “working every day and all night,” rather than jerking around on the golf course. And therein lies the rub, ladies! Bill’s had no to time hit the gym because he’s spending all his time working on fixing this stupid fund, which has in turn caused him to pack on the pounds, which has resulted in a shame spiral of eating his emotions at the desk, generally in the form of carbs, specifically in the form of those “family-size Cool Ranch Doritos” Kashkari has left over from his Treasury days. He eats when he underperforms and when he underperforms he eats. Rather than asking for your forgiveness, he should be asking that you get off his ass so he can get back to business.

Mea Culpa [PDF]
Earlier: Bill Gross Feels Fat

82 comments
(hidden for your protection)
Show all comments

82 Responses to “Bill Gross Would Have Beaten His Benchmark Had He Not Eaten Those 500 Basis Points”

  1. HFguy says:

    Could have been worse
    John "burping on 5000 bps" Paulson.

  2. J. Paulson says:

    I had the same issue with this imaginary forrest

  3. Guest says:

    Cry me a billion dollar dollar river!

  4. Mea Culpa says:

    Hypothetically- if Joe Buck and Ned Flanders had a kid, and that kid wrote an investment outlook every month…well, you know where this is going

  5. Raj says:

    I just put my lightly used home gym equipment on eBay if you are interested.

  6. Uncle Ted says:

    Bill Gross = Oyster Boy

  7. derp says:

    You see, Kashkari is like the first guy in, at the crack of dawn. He sees my car, he figures I'm the first guy in. Then, the last person to leave is El-Erian. He sees my car, he figures I'm burning the midnight oil. Between the two of them, they think I'm working an 18 hour day!

  8. Abner Doubleday says:

    Hard to keep score if you don't know the rules — E-8, not E-CF

  9. Kegels123 says:

    You the client have 100% of our attention as always. That 100% breaks down as follows:

    40% manage portfolios
    10% Go on CNBC/Bloomberg to give my 2 cents and talk my own book
    10% write monthly outlook letter
    10% think about ridiculous things to say in outlook letters
    10% Drink Budweiser six-packs
    10% Golf and/or gym to try to lose spare tire
    10% Chill on Newport Beach
    10% Hang out in my $25mm palace and declare that although performance sucks this year, life is good

    -Bill

  10. Ardent1 says:

    Bill forgot what he learned as a card counter — never bet more than his advantage. Bill's poor performance is due to his overbetting his positions.

  11. sssss says:

    Those two jackasses spend the majority of every day on TV. STOP APPEARING ON MORONIC TV SHOWS AND DO SOME ACTUAL WORK, ASSHOLES.

  12. Guest says:

    He would need this PR spin, wouldn't he. He's got the "WSJ" assertions to battle:

    "This year through the end of the third quarter, the fund attracted $183.5 million in new contributions, according to data compiled by fund tracker Lipper under the request of Dow Jones Newswires. The fund lured $17.6 billion in new money last year, $57.7 billion in 2009, and $20.4 billion in 2008.

    “For a fund with over $240 billion in it, an inflow of $180 million is close to zero,” said Jeff Tjornehoj, senior research analyst for Lipper. “Being on the wrong side of the Treasury bond market rally injured performance and reputation. When someone so visible makes a mistake it has large consequences.”"
    http://blogs.wsj.com/marketbeat/2011/10/13/bill-g

  13. What about his legitimate years? says:

    Poor El Erian, he’ll have to give up his budding career as a full time FT writer and opiner on ‘greater things.’ Learn from Soros boys, first he made his billions, then he became a public philosopher, not the other way around.

  14. guest says:

    which came first
    ranch or cool ranch

  15. BGross fan club says:

    But I talked my book with no effect.
    BGross

  16. I havenˇt checked in here for a while as I thought it was getting boring, but the last few posts are great quality so I guess Iˇll add you back to my daily bloglist. You deserve it my friend :)

  17. Whats Happening i am new to this, I stumbled upon this I’ve discovered It positively useful and it has aided me out loads. I am hoping to give a contribution & help different customers like its aided me. Good job.

  18. EmXtHl Im thankful for the blog. Keep writing.

  19. Awesome showcase Eric! Some of these iPad app net designs are truly wonderful, my personal favorite are Bord, Springpad and The Photo Cook Book :)

  20. Myron Stukes says:

    I really enjoyed your article. That is nice when you read something that is not only informative but entertaining. Outstanding.

  21. I love your wordpress design, exactly where would you down load it from?

  22. Dirk Widby says:

    I really enjoyed your article. That is nice when you read something that is not only informative but entertaining. Outstanding.

  23. Dale Heape says:

    It is actually a nice and helpful piece of information. I am happy that you simply shared this helpful information with us. Please stay us up to date like this. Thank you for sharing.

  24. I appreciate you sharing this blog post.Really thank you! Really Cool.

  25. I’m still learning from you, as I’m trying to reach my goals. I definitely enjoy reading everything that is posted on your website.Keep the stories coming. I loved it!

  26. I have read a few just right stuff here. Certainly value bookmarking for revisiting. I surprise how so much effort you place to make one of these wonderful informative site.

  27. bitch says:

    I love your writing style truly enjoying this site. “How helpless we are, like netted birds, when we are caught by desire” by Belva Plain.

  28. Thanks, I’ve recently been looking for details about this subject for ages and yours is the best I have found so far.

  29. You make a great point. Got some nice info here. I think that if more people thought about it that way, they’d have a better time get the hang ofing the issue.

  30. I’ve learned quite a few important things via your post. I might also like to convey that there may be a situation that you will apply for a loan and never need a cosigner such as a Government Student Aid Loan. But when you are getting financing through a regular bank or investment company then you need to be ready to have a co-signer ready to assist you. The lenders will certainly base their own decision on the few variables but the main one will be your credit worthiness. There are some financial institutions that will as well look at your work history and make up your mind based on this but in almost all cases it will be based on on your credit score.

  31. I genuinely enjoy reading through on this internet site, it has wonderful articles. “Don’t put too fine a point to your wit for fear it should get blunted.” by Miguel de Cervantes.

  32. A person necessarily help to make severely articles I’d state. This is the very first time I frequented your website page and up to now? I surprised with the research you made to create this particular publish amazing. Wonderful process!

  33. Amongst me and my husband we have owned more MP3 players over time than I can count, which includes Sansas, iRivers, iPods (classic & touch), the Ibiza Rhapsody, etc. But, the last few a long time I’ve settled down to one line of players.

  34. Hello there! I could have sworn I’ve been to this blog before but after browsing through some of the post I realized it’s new to me. Anyways, I’m definitely happy I found it and I’ll be book-marking and checking back often!

  35. Thanks for another fantastic post. Where else could anyone get that kind of information in such a perfect means of writing? I have a presentation next week, and I’m on the search for such information.

  36. Thanks for this informative post. It has helped alot.

  37. P0rn Faves says:

    With havin so much content and articles do you ever run into any issues of plagorism or copyright violation? My site has a lot of unique content I’ve either created myself or outsourced but it seems a lot of it is popping it up all over the web without my agreement. Do you know any methods to help stop content from being stolen? I’d certainly appreciate it.

  38. Wow! Thank you! I continuously needed to write on my site something like that. Can I take a fragment of your post to my website?

  39. Amazing blog! Have you got any recommendations for ambitious writers? I’m planning to start my own blog soon but I’m a little lost on everything. Would you suggest starting with a free platform like WordPress or go for a paid option? There are so many choices out there that I’m totally confused .. Any ideas? Thank you!

  40. It’s truly odd, i was on your web site just 15 mins earlier, when my browser was freezing to death and trigged a CTD, did you by any means added some new plugins or modified anything else which could maybe result in this kind of a behaviour? I check out your website fairly often and never ever had that before!

  41. stupid bitch says:

    My programmer is trying to convince me to move to Ruby on Rails from PHP. I have always disliked the idea because of the i am just not used to it. But he’s trying none the less. I’ve been using WordPress on a number of websites for about 7 months and i am worried about switching to another platform. I have heard very good things about blogengine.net. Is there a way I can import all my wordpress content into it? Any help would be greatly appreciated!

  42. Fantastic blog! Do you have any helpful hints for aspiring writers? I’m hoping to start my own website soon but I’m a little lost on everything. Would you propose starting with a free platform like WordPress or go for a paid option? There are so many choices out there that I’m completely overwhelmed .. Any suggestions? Thank you!

  43. If you want to get much from this paragraph then you have to apply such strategies to your won weblog.

  44. Wonderful cars. Thanks for that images.

  45. I cherished your blog put up. Really Terrific….

  46. None of these videos are playing perfectly for me.

  47. Hi there! This can be my 1st visit for your blog! We have been a collection of volunteers and starting a whole new project in a community from the very same niche. Your web site provided us helpful facts to work on. You might have done a marvellous occupation!

  48. pussies says:

    I loved as much as you’ll obtain carried out proper here. The caricature is attractive, your authored material stylish. however, you command get bought an shakiness over that you want be turning in the following. in poor health surely come further earlier again since exactly the similar just about very continuously within case you protect this hike.

  49. Hey I am so grateful I found your site, I really found you by error, while I was researching on Aol for something else, Regardless I am here now and would just like to say kudos for a remarkable post and a all round exciting blog (I also love the theme/design), I don’t have time to read it all at the minute but I have bookmarked it and also added in your RSS feeds, so when I have time I will be back to read a lot more, Please do keep up the awesome job.

  50. The white car looks like a fastback to me; both a Dodge Wayfarer or Plymouth P-19.

  51. I was just looking for this information for a while. After six hours of continuous Googleing, at last I got it in your site. I wonder what’s the lack of Google strategy that don’t rank this kind of informative web sites in top of the list. Usually the top sites are full of garbage.

  52. click here says:

    Hi to everyone attending. We’re from the Greece and have a good newest web sites. Please Visit my webpage and say your thoughts and opinions. There Are a lof of creative ideas and information on my work. This Is no charge 100% and without even registrator. Many Thanks To every single person who’s going to go to my very new online business. It Will Help my job. | pisines | κλασικές πισίνες |

  53. All factory produced R3s would have the square headlight frames, as they were created toward the stop of production. This could become a engine built to R3 specs, although I note it does not provide the multiple breathers or even the cold air induction a real R3 would have. R1s and R2 blocks ended up black, whilst R3s can be red.

  54. All on the images are superb. My preferred is the Grey Catbird. I believe the composition, exposure, head position, blurred background, and color blends are exceptional. I also appreciate the simplistic beauty on the Robin image.

  55. Joysen says:

    I like this website very much, Its a really nice spot to read and obtain information. “I leave this rule for others when I’m dead, Be always sure you’re right–then go ahead.” by Davy Crockett.

  56. Excellent post. I was checking constantly this blog and I’m impressed! Extremely useful info specially the last part :) I care for such info a lot. I was seeking this certain info for a very long time. Thank you and best of luck.Read The Full Article

  57. I love the baseball shorts, skirt and hats. The jewelry seems so attractive. I live in Omaha NE and am constantly wanting for unique baseball clothing and jewelry. I was wondering if you had any of your clothing still left. Is there a phone # I can contact for getting more information and facts on prices? I stumbled across this site while messing approximately on the web. I glance forward to hearing from you. I do know it’s a little late from the baseball season, but I however should test.br /Thank your in your time.br /Amy Morrissey

  58. Joe Luptak says:

    Thanks for sharing those tid bits of information.. surely made my day. =)

  59. Your Ornaments are so cute, I’ll be using them right before long..

  60. Hello,Thanks for your good post, you’ll find a complete lot of great information that I wager a enormous number of guys donn’t know.

  61. I just couldn’t depart your site before suggesting that I really enjoyed the usual information a person provide for your visitors? Is gonna be again incessantly in order to check out new posts

  62. Thanks for this review. I purchased some Blu Cigs a few weeks ago after reading your review (I had first found your site from your post on Lindsay Lohan), and am extremely happy with my purchase. I recommend Blu Cigs to anyone and have already ordered some more cartridges.

  63. Click Now says:

    Hey there! This post could not be written any better! Reading this post reminds me of my previous room mate! He always kept talking about this. I will forward this write-up to him. Pretty sure he will have a good read. Many thanks for sharing!

  64. sources says:

    Hi there! It seems as though we both have a interest for the same thing. Your blog, “Bill Gross Would Have Beaten His Benchmark Had He Not Eaten Those 500 Basis Points Dealbreaker: Wall Street Insider – Financial News, Headlines, Commentary and Analysis – Hedge Funds, Private Equity, Banks” and mine are very similar. Have you ever thought of writing a guest article for a similar blog? It will surely help gain publicity to your blog (my site recieves a lot of visitors). If you’re interested, contact me at: Josephine.Sojourner@online.com. Many thanks

  65. AVI2MP4 Mac says:

    whoah this blog is great i like reading your articles. Keep up the great work! You recognize, many people are searching around for this info, you could aid them greatly.

  66. Full Force says:

    Hey! This is the second time visiting now and I just wanted to say I truley fancy reading your site. I have decided to bookmark it at digg.com with your title: Bill Gross Would Have Beaten His Benchmark Had He Not Eaten Those 500 Basis Points Dealbreaker: Wall Street Insider – Financial News, Headlines, Commentary and Analysis – Hedge Funds, Private Equity, Banks and your Web address: http://dealbreaker.com/2011/10/bill-gross-would-have-beaten-his-benchmark-had-he-not-eaten-those-500-basis-points/. I hope this is alright with you, I’m trying to give your fantastic blog a bit more visibility. Be back soon.

  67. web site says:

    Hi there excellent blog! Does running a blog similar to this require a massive amount work? I have virtually no expertise in computer programming however I was hoping to start my own blog soon. Anyway, should you have any recommendations or tips for new blog owners please share. I understand this is off topic nevertheless I simply had to ask. Kudos!

  68. Dead created information material , appreciate it for facts .

  69. similar site says:

    I dugg some of you post as I cogitated they were very useful invaluable

  70. kasino says:

    Call at your internet site continually, usually acquiring today’s truck owner, something significant. Simply mind boggling how you could merge words and phrases. Carry on! Good job!

  71. read on says:

    I conceive this website holds very fantastic written subject matter posts.

  72. Hey there! My name is Suggested Content and I personally just wanted to say your site is awesome! It’s amusing due to the fact I use to have a blog website that nearly had an identical web address: http://dealbreaker.com/2011/10/bill-gross-would-have-beaten-his-benchmark-had-he-not-eaten-those-500-basis-points/ mine was only a few characters different. In any case, I am a big fan of your blog and if you ever would like a guest article please make sure to email me at: Joie.Kimbriel@ymail.com. I absolutely love writing!

  73. I like the valuable info you supply to your articles. I’ll bookmark your weblog and take a look at once more right here frequently. I’m quite certain I will be informed lots of new stuff right here! Best of luck for the next!

  74. Tebow isnt gay. Hes a Christian. Christians cant be gay because they are indwelt by the Holy Spirit!

  75. Trinh Koczur says:

    Ive been looking into this for a while and your post has really helped me. Keep up the good work.

  76. Nice read, I just passed this onto a colleague who was doing some research on that. And he actually bought me lunch as I found it for him smile So let me rephrase that: Thanks for lunch! “The guy with the biggest stomach will be the first to take off his shirt at a baseball game.” by Glenn Dickey.

  77. fantastic points altogether, you simply won a brand new reader. What would you recommend about your submit that you just made a few days ago? Any certain?

  78. Continued says:

    Today, I went to the beach front with my children. I found a sea shell and gave it to my 4 year old daughter and said “You can hear the ocean if you put this to your ear.” She placed the shell to her ear and screamed. There was a hermit crab inside and it pinched her ear. She never wants to go back! LoL I know this is totally off topic but I had to tell someone!

  79. Agen SBOBET says:

    This is exactly what I was looking for. Thanks for sharing this great article! That is very interesting Smile I love reading and I am always searching for informative information like this!
    Jasa SEO

Our Sites

  • Above the Law
  • How Appealing
  • ATL Redline
  • Breaking Defense
  • Breaking Energy
  • Breaking Gov
  • Dealbreaker
  • Fashonista
  •