“Citi North America Markets is raising money for the Police & Fire Widows’ & Childrens’ Benefit Fund- with an official food eating challenge. From an email sent today to all markets employees (Fixed Income, Equities, Commodities, Currencies)…”

“In honor of our police men and women, the week of October 10th brings a donut eating contest. Each trading floor owns a day that week to help raise money for the cause.”

The rules aren’t entirely clear but it seems like the challenge will be your choice of 50 donut holes or whoever eats the most holes in 15 minutes.

50 comments (hidden to protect delicate sensibilities)
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Comments (50)

  1. Posted by Michael Moore | October 6, 2011 at 1:01 PM

    Only reason I would step foot in Citi

  2. Posted by guest | October 6, 2011 at 1:04 PM

    Bess, I was about to comment "Feast or Famine around here" and this happens to be the first article?

  3. Posted by Guest | October 6, 2011 at 1:05 PM

    Not the first time donuts have been distributed at Citi this year

  4. Posted by Backdoor_Bess | October 6, 2011 at 1:09 PM

    "whoever eats the most holes in 15 minutes" = new event at the 2012 Porn-lympics

  5. Posted by guestapo | October 6, 2011 at 1:10 PM

    Everything in the news today is either Wall Street protests or Steve Jobs. With all due respect to SJ, I've had my fill of both.

  6. Posted by ShortNaked | October 6, 2011 at 1:13 PM

    This is Copist. Someone at Citi needs to examine their motives.

  7. Posted by Kegels123 | October 6, 2011 at 1:15 PM

    Where do I sign up?

    -Michael Moore

  8. Posted by guestapo | October 6, 2011 at 1:16 PM

    Too slow to the draw, hombre.

  9. Posted by guest | October 6, 2011 at 1:16 PM

    i was thinking more along line of the Feast, Famine, Food Challenge coincidence.

  10. Posted by Bill Gross | October 6, 2011 at 1:16 PM

    STOP TEMPTING ME!!! YOU KNOW I'M OFF CARBS!!!

  11. Posted by Backdoor_Bess | October 6, 2011 at 1:17 PM

    Hey Mike, according to the timeline, you are about 13 minutes late.

  12. Posted by Below Me | October 6, 2011 at 1:24 PM

    Fucking corrupt banksters buying the NYPD with doughnuts….

    – Occupy Wall Street Hipster

  13. Posted by Spider Pig | October 6, 2011 at 1:26 PM

    Soup to nuts, Bess's inbox is a god damn national treasure!

  14. Posted by Guest | October 6, 2011 at 1:30 PM

    I would have expected something more creative out of Vik like a pakora eating contest.

  15. Posted by Backdoor_Bess | October 6, 2011 at 1:31 PM

    I am, however, much more fond of her 'outbox'

  16. Posted by CoveredLong | October 6, 2011 at 1:32 PM

    "The rules aren’t entirely clear…."

    I didn't know Dodd-Frank had a section on eating challenges.

  17. Posted by Julian Robertson | October 6, 2011 at 1:36 PM

    Just because it's for charity, that doesn't mean it ought to be fat-tax exempt.

  18. Posted by Donut Czar | October 6, 2011 at 1:36 PM

    Don't worry, there will be a new commission to clear things up by promulgating 174 pages of regs.

  19. Posted by Guest | October 6, 2011 at 1:42 PM

    zing!

  20. Posted by Guest | October 6, 2011 at 1:46 PM

    MM only needs 2 minutes to eat the most doughnut holes…

  21. Posted by Ball Buster | October 6, 2011 at 1:47 PM

    That's disgusting

  22. Posted by Anonymous | October 6, 2011 at 1:49 PM

    i know about filling holes, than all you clowns
    signed The Hedgehog

  23. Posted by Guest | October 6, 2011 at 1:55 PM

    But where are the investor's doughnuts?

    – John A. Paulson

  24. Posted by IndianCook | October 6, 2011 at 1:57 PM

    That was a good one, plus +10.

  25. Posted by FKApmco | October 6, 2011 at 1:59 PM

    What do monks have to do with donuts?

    –AIG Egypt & Middle East Religions Quant

  26. Posted by MeVC | October 6, 2011 at 2:00 PM

    For a moment there I thought the contestants were the cops…

  27. Posted by Guest | October 6, 2011 at 2:00 PM

    Maybe donuts holes would be more appropriate. You know, zero's especially during bonus time.

  28. Posted by WCrasher | October 6, 2011 at 2:00 PM

    Citi & Wollensky

  29. Posted by FKApmco | October 6, 2011 at 2:02 PM

    Oooh…Dodd Frank humor. I knew I loved you for good reason.

  30. Posted by Pete | October 6, 2011 at 2:03 PM

    UBS had a similar contest – it was who could lose the most money the fastest.

  31. Posted by Lord Humongous | October 6, 2011 at 2:05 PM

    Who ordered the Boston Creme?

    – P. North

  32. Posted by Guest | October 6, 2011 at 2:07 PM

    Not through trading though, they were all given $500 cash and had to lose the actual paper money. Most took it and quit.

  33. Posted by Texashedge | October 6, 2011 at 2:08 PM

    We already have a Joke Briefer here, son, and he knows when he ain't needed.

  34. Posted by guest | October 6, 2011 at 2:08 PM

    mandingo hongry

  35. Posted by login | October 6, 2011 at 2:09 PM

    played…

  36. Posted by Guest | October 6, 2011 at 2:12 PM

    Have you ever actually seen a donut? If so, have you realized how similar to the number "0" they look?

  37. Posted by Anonymous | October 6, 2011 at 2:13 PM

    come visit us tonight… 2 for 1 special

    Beamer's Marketing Manager

  38. Posted by Krispy Kreme | October 6, 2011 at 2:20 PM

    I only eat the filled kind….

  39. Posted by Guestimate | October 6, 2011 at 2:26 PM

    An eating contest? Apparently he prefers being known as Wide Chops.

  40. Posted by Sooooo | October 6, 2011 at 2:31 PM

    Are we going to get a legit article today or what?

  41. Posted by guest | October 6, 2011 at 2:33 PM

    out?

  42. Posted by trojan_ | October 6, 2011 at 2:47 PM

    Mr. Scorpio says productivity is up 2%, and it's all because of my motivational techniques, like donuts and the possibility of more donuts to come.
    -H.S.

  43. Posted by Mike Bullard | October 6, 2011 at 2:55 PM

    WTF are donut holes???! Ohhh you mean TIMBITS!

  44. Posted by #REFeree | October 6, 2011 at 3:11 PM

    Funny with just the right amount of pretentiousness. Touché.

  45. Posted by Some Guy | October 6, 2011 at 3:20 PM

    Begging on your knees in DC for taxpayer money to pay your bonus is the NKI.

  46. Posted by NowOnePerson | October 6, 2011 at 3:36 PM

    I've noticed Peter North has become a regular on this site. Hi Pete, nice to have you.

  47. Posted by wahoo | October 6, 2011 at 5:23 PM

    Ok, no cream.

    -Farva

  48. Posted by Guest | October 6, 2011 at 6:07 PM

    No, this was just horrible

  49. Posted by MeVC | October 6, 2011 at 7:25 PM

    They can carry a dozen hands-free.

  50. Posted by 2Lazy 2Login | October 7, 2011 at 12:06 AM

    what did you expect from MM?