If you’re jammed and don’t have time for that, just skip to the last slide to check out David Einhorn’s breathtaking foam artistry:

Otherwise, proceed.

Greenlight Capital VIC 2011 Presentation: GMCR [PDF]

120 comments (hidden to protect delicate sensibilities)
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Comments (120)

  1. Posted by guest | October 19, 2011 at 10:07 AM

    Pedobear!

  2. Posted by guest | October 19, 2011 at 10:15 AM

    Hired!

    – Starbucks manager, 36th and Park

  3. Posted by guest | October 19, 2011 at 10:16 AM

    "We are the iPod of coffee"
    – Green Mountain

    "We are the iPod of tranny hookers"
    -P. Jiang analyst class 2011

  4. Posted by pazzo83 | October 19, 2011 at 10:18 AM

    "We are the Zune of banking"

    – UBS MD

  5. Posted by Guest | October 19, 2011 at 10:22 AM

    I am so glad Matt didn't cover this story…

  6. Posted by guest | October 19, 2011 at 10:22 AM

    charts of charts?

  7. Posted by Zoroz | October 19, 2011 at 10:26 AM

    there is a joke here about GMCR, the Mets and Einhorn, I just cant formulate it coherently.

  8. Posted by derp | October 19, 2011 at 10:26 AM

    I demand $20 an hour for this.

    – Coffee-Bear Maker

  9. Posted by investorcluzo | October 19, 2011 at 10:28 AM

    Can you boil that down to an elevator pitch that I can run by my boss?
    -Associate, T2 Partners

  10. Posted by Curious Guest | October 19, 2011 at 10:36 AM

    I genuinely appreciate your posting these, Bess. I know you have a professional relationship with Einhorn, does Greenlight give them to you directly or do you get them from 3d parties?

  11. Posted by Alt_EST | October 19, 2011 at 10:36 AM

    We are the Borg of banking.

    -Goldman MD

  12. Posted by CoveredLong | October 19, 2011 at 10:39 AM

    The presentation says "short coffee", but the length of it says "long coffee".

  13. Posted by guest | October 19, 2011 at 10:39 AM

    Creepy stalker says what?

  14. Posted by guest | October 19, 2011 at 10:40 AM

    Curious as to why you think she'd answer this question.

  15. Posted by pmco | October 19, 2011 at 10:40 AM

    More penetrated than she says… Slide 28.

  16. Posted by guest | October 19, 2011 at 10:40 AM

    TL;DR

    -everyone

  17. Posted by anon | October 19, 2011 at 10:41 AM

    Do the voices in your head draft these comments or do you come up with them on your own?

  18. Posted by Juan Valdez | October 19, 2011 at 10:45 AM

    Curious, I see what's brewing here but you don't have the grounds to filter what doesn't amount to a hill of beans. Fold your own drip of knowledge and percolate up some better effort. This is the financial Cafe du Monde and there ain't no Chick Corea to kick around here.

  19. Posted by Curious Professional | October 19, 2011 at 10:45 AM

    Define professional

  20. Posted by Guest | October 19, 2011 at 10:48 AM

    You Rang?
    -J. Epstein

  21. Posted by guest | October 19, 2011 at 10:49 AM

    Kill yourself.

  22. Posted by Cut Me | October 19, 2011 at 10:51 AM

    We are the insomniacs of banking.
    -Citi

  23. Posted by guest | October 19, 2011 at 10:51 AM

    Or, just you.

  24. Posted by guest | October 19, 2011 at 10:51 AM

    Tyler Durden, is that you?

  25. Posted by guest | October 19, 2011 at 10:52 AM

    " I know you have a professional relationship with Einhorn"

    LOL'ing at a random reader claiming to know jack about the professional relationships BL has.

  26. Posted by Nailz6 | October 19, 2011 at 10:53 AM

    Beautiful, beautiful work!

    – Guy who would marry Lisa Falcone to work at Greenlight

  27. Posted by Peter North | October 19, 2011 at 10:53 AM

    amateur

  28. Posted by TheJokeBriefer | October 19, 2011 at 10:56 AM

    I have run the models on the "Joke-u-tron 9000" algos and I think it's reasonable to see an 80% probability of an interrogatory "What do the Mets and GMCR have in common?" joke. There is a 62% probability of a declarative jokein the form of "Einhorn is in the Mets locker room drinking some Green Mountain coffee when…". Then there is the small 22% possibility of a 3rd deviation joke where nudity

  29. Posted by De icing | October 19, 2011 at 10:56 AM

    I didn't read the art, but it makes me reflect that the last days of the venti iced are upon me now in chicago, probably be no more iced for several months…

    I enjoy the from white to red around the time football season starts, but miss the quenching iceds this time of year because the long slugs you can take help with the hangover when you first hit the desk.

    Guy who involuntarily does the " ahhh" after swigs, I think from dehydration.

  30. Posted by Guest | October 19, 2011 at 11:06 AM

    You're obviously not familiar with the nature of Bess's inbox.

  31. Posted by guest | October 19, 2011 at 11:16 AM

    coffee is the lifeblood that fuels the dreams of champions.

    – guy with kids, no life, repeating the same joke he used a few months ago.

  32. Posted by Guest | October 19, 2011 at 11:18 AM

    "I didn't read the art"?

    other than that, i agree with the yearning for iced coffee when the weather turns cold.

  33. Posted by Bandersnatch | October 19, 2011 at 11:22 AM

    It seems clear and to the point. Do you have ADD?

  34. Posted by Chunk | October 19, 2011 at 11:29 AM

    Not Mr. Met…that must be a Cubby Bear

  35. Posted by Zanesville Police | October 19, 2011 at 11:36 AM

    Put out an APB: The missing bear has been found, drowned in a cup of coffee.

  36. Posted by PMCO_sucks | October 19, 2011 at 11:46 AM

    (clenching fists)

  37. Posted by CPB | October 19, 2011 at 11:47 AM

    You drink coffee too? Cool story, bro. Be sure and tell it at the next party you're at.

  38. Posted by guest | October 19, 2011 at 11:51 AM

    Great contribution to the conversation.

  39. Posted by HFguy | October 19, 2011 at 12:08 PM

    Lol.. awesome backhand slap.

  40. Posted by Guest | October 19, 2011 at 12:31 PM

    What? 110 pages and Nespresso is only mentioned on one page, and that's to label a picture of a coffee machine? What else?!

  41. Posted by Guest | October 19, 2011 at 12:36 PM

    Golf clap.

  42. Posted by NowOnePerson | October 19, 2011 at 12:39 PM

    Uh… no offense, Mr. North, but I prefer you not make my cappuccino. I know where you've been.

  43. Posted by Robusta 11 | October 19, 2011 at 12:40 PM

    It's an allegory for the change of seasons, life etc. Not everything has to be ridicule and alike on here. ( though UBS MD has certainly redeemed himself today with zune comment )

    Sophisticated people at a party would understand that immediately, but they probably don't say bro alot or end sentences in at.

    It was a short comment that could easily be ignored, that way you can get back to spec'ing GMCR, sure to be a winner.

  44. Posted by Guesto | October 19, 2011 at 12:42 PM

    Awww, the widdle bear at the end is kewt! I don't remember the other 109 slides now.

    I'll take two bear brewers please!

  45. Posted by chimmi Changa | October 19, 2011 at 12:45 PM

    I find it amusing that this character is consistently out criticizing ..pumping..dumpin.. repeat… .. whats more amusing is that this guy has the AUDACITY to hit his investors with incentive fees EVEN if his funds are losing $$$.. gd bless the HUSTLE i suppose

  46. Posted by Cut Me | October 19, 2011 at 12:47 PM

    How many laps this time?

  47. Posted by Guest | October 19, 2011 at 12:48 PM

    Everywhere he's been?

  48. Posted by trojan_ | October 19, 2011 at 12:59 PM

    In Einhorn Russia, coffee bear is the NKI.
    Minetta's.

  49. Posted by pwned | October 19, 2011 at 1:06 PM

    You are the UBS of joke making.

  50. Posted by NowOnePerson | October 19, 2011 at 1:06 PM

    I've seen a wide enough sampling to form an opinion.

  51. Posted by ttt | October 19, 2011 at 1:08 PM

    Go back to looking at your kiddie porn

  52. Posted by Guest | October 19, 2011 at 1:19 PM

    Jim Cramer was quoted in the article.

    must be legit.

  53. Posted by Jerry | October 19, 2011 at 1:29 PM

    I'm a jokemaker

  54. Posted by FKApmco | October 19, 2011 at 1:37 PM

    Where nudity what??? Don't leave me hanging TJB

  55. Posted by FKApmco | October 19, 2011 at 1:44 PM

    Impostor!!!! Don't make me come to where you work and jam a K-Cup Carousel where the sun don't shine.

  56. Posted by Bandersnatch | October 19, 2011 at 1:45 PM

    I haven't seen the Greenlight docs. How does he charge an incentive fee when his funds lose money? Is that because he runs an absolute value return fund?

  57. Posted by Guest | October 19, 2011 at 1:54 PM

    Incentive fees? Bet you remember the days of the Nifty Fifty too, huh?

  58. Posted by l AVRF l | October 19, 2011 at 2:11 PM

    Love it, The Absolute Value Return Fund.

    This is the answer to all my problems Bandersnatch.

    It's just confusing enough for the 90 % 'ers.

    Race you to the copywrite office.

  59. Posted by Tuckhead | October 19, 2011 at 2:11 PM

    Chimichangas are a staple for the unwashed poor such a yourself. A position at OWS awaits you if you care not for Einhorn's brilliance.

  60. Posted by PMCO_sucks | October 19, 2011 at 2:25 PM

    I was here hating her guts long before you. Joke Briefer can confirm if necessary.

  61. Posted by FKApmco | October 19, 2011 at 2:30 PM

    Actually sweetie, I am the pmco you hate. When DB comments moved to ID, pmco was already taken so I became FKApmco.

    All my love. xoxo

  62. Posted by Bandersnatch | October 19, 2011 at 3:23 PM

    Copywrite? If you're going to copy my idea, at least copy right.

  63. Posted by TheJokeBriefer | October 19, 2011 at 3:24 PM

    Sorry about that. Must have been operator error on my part. "intense debate" — or I –snipped off the last little bit of the comment. Or else there is a word limit on intense debate.

    Apologies.

  64. Posted by guest | October 19, 2011 at 4:19 PM

    Subliminal full disclosure, GMCR is trending Bearishly and due dilligence is required before investing. The NKI!

  65. Posted by Zoroz | October 19, 2011 at 4:25 PM

    I am not you but I do admire your work

  66. Posted by Hank | October 19, 2011 at 7:46 PM

    Jackass, she's interviewed him personally.

  67. Posted by Christopher Faille | October 20, 2011 at 9:37 AM

    I believe it was available to the world through Scrib'd before it was here. These things aren't really secrets. After all, Einhorn wants to make a case and profit from broad acceptance of the validity of that case, so D'uh why would he want to keep the presentation secret? Nice of you to drop by though, Mr Assange.

  68. Posted by Guest | October 20, 2011 at 11:20 AM

    Nothing says fuck you like a smiling bear

  69. Posted by Guest | October 20, 2011 at 5:23 PM

    "Yelling Fire in a Crowded Theater – That's How I Roll" – Einhorny

  70. Posted by Guest | October 20, 2011 at 10:02 PM

    Chimmi Changas eh? Is that what they're handing out at OWS these days? Say… when'd you learn how to read and write? Was it in special ed or did you take a Reading and Writing for Dummies visual course standing in the NY unemployment line for 99 weeks? Great managers can charge w/e. Go kill yourself. Your kind isn't appreciated here.

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