If you’re jammed and don’t have time for that, just skip to the last slide to check out David Einhorn’s breathtaking foam artistry:
Otherwise, proceed.
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Hedge Funds
If You Only Read One 110-Page Presentation On Coffee Today, Make It This One
By Bess Levin — Advertisement —
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- Use the Bloomberg command
NH BLG_DEALBREAKER <GO>
to access Dealbreaker
Pedobear!
Hired!
- Starbucks manager, 36th and Park
"We are the iPod of coffee"
- Green Mountain
"We are the iPod of tranny hookers"
-P. Jiang analyst class 2011
"We are the Zune of banking"
- UBS MD
I am so glad Matt didn't cover this story…
charts of charts?
there is a joke here about GMCR, the Mets and Einhorn, I just cant formulate it coherently.
I demand $20 an hour for this.
- Coffee-Bear Maker
Can you boil that down to an elevator pitch that I can run by my boss?
-Associate, T2 Partners
I genuinely appreciate your posting these, Bess. I know you have a professional relationship with Einhorn, does Greenlight give them to you directly or do you get them from 3d parties?
We are the Borg of banking.
-Goldman MD
The presentation says "short coffee", but the length of it says "long coffee".
Creepy stalker says what?
Curious as to why you think she'd answer this question.
More penetrated than she says… Slide 28.
TL;DR
-everyone
Do the voices in your head draft these comments or do you come up with them on your own?
Curious, I see what's brewing here but you don't have the grounds to filter what doesn't amount to a hill of beans. Fold your own drip of knowledge and percolate up some better effort. This is the financial Cafe du Monde and there ain't no Chick Corea to kick around here.
Define professional
You Rang?
-J. Epstein
Kill yourself.
We are the insomniacs of banking.
-Citi
Or, just you.
Tyler Durden, is that you?
" I know you have a professional relationship with Einhorn"
LOL'ing at a random reader claiming to know jack about the professional relationships BL has.
Beautiful, beautiful work!
- Guy who would marry Lisa Falcone to work at Greenlight
amateur
I have run the models on the "Joke-u-tron 9000" algos and I think it's reasonable to see an 80% probability of an interrogatory "What do the Mets and GMCR have in common?" joke. There is a 62% probability of a declarative jokein the form of "Einhorn is in the Mets locker room drinking some Green Mountain coffee when…". Then there is the small 22% possibility of a 3rd deviation joke where nudity
I didn't read the art, but it makes me reflect that the last days of the venti iced are upon me now in chicago, probably be no more iced for several months…
I enjoy the from white to red around the time football season starts, but miss the quenching iceds this time of year because the long slugs you can take help with the hangover when you first hit the desk.
Guy who involuntarily does the " ahhh" after swigs, I think from dehydration.
You're obviously not familiar with the nature of Bess's inbox.
coffee is the lifeblood that fuels the dreams of champions.
- guy with kids, no life, repeating the same joke he used a few months ago.
"I didn't read the art"?
other than that, i agree with the yearning for iced coffee when the weather turns cold.
It seems clear and to the point. Do you have ADD?
Not Mr. Met…that must be a Cubby Bear
Put out an APB: The missing bear has been found, drowned in a cup of coffee.
(clenching fists)
You drink coffee too? Cool story, bro. Be sure and tell it at the next party you're at.
Great contribution to the conversation.
Lol.. awesome backhand slap.
What? 110 pages and Nespresso is only mentioned on one page, and that's to label a picture of a coffee machine? What else?!
Golf clap.
Uh… no offense, Mr. North, but I prefer you not make my cappuccino. I know where you've been.
It's an allegory for the change of seasons, life etc. Not everything has to be ridicule and alike on here. ( though UBS MD has certainly redeemed himself today with zune comment )
Sophisticated people at a party would understand that immediately, but they probably don't say bro alot or end sentences in at.
It was a short comment that could easily be ignored, that way you can get back to spec'ing GMCR, sure to be a winner.
Awww, the widdle bear at the end is kewt! I don't remember the other 109 slides now.
I'll take two bear brewers please!
I find it amusing that this character is consistently out criticizing ..pumping..dumpin.. repeat… .. whats more amusing is that this guy has the AUDACITY to hit his investors with incentive fees EVEN if his funds are losing $$$.. gd bless the HUSTLE i suppose
How many laps this time?
Everywhere he's been?
In Einhorn Russia, coffee bear is the NKI.
Minetta's.
You are the UBS of joke making.
I've seen a wide enough sampling to form an opinion.
Go back to looking at your kiddie porn
Jim Cramer was quoted in the article.
must be legit.
I'm a jokemaker
Where nudity what??? Don't leave me hanging TJB
Impostor!!!! Don't make me come to where you work and jam a K-Cup Carousel where the sun don't shine.
I haven't seen the Greenlight docs. How does he charge an incentive fee when his funds lose money? Is that because he runs an absolute value return fund?
Incentive fees? Bet you remember the days of the Nifty Fifty too, huh?
Love it, The Absolute Value Return Fund.
This is the answer to all my problems Bandersnatch.
It's just confusing enough for the 90 % 'ers.
Race you to the copywrite office.
Chimichangas are a staple for the unwashed poor such a yourself. A position at OWS awaits you if you care not for Einhorn's brilliance.
I was here hating her guts long before you. Joke Briefer can confirm if necessary.
Actually sweetie, I am the pmco you hate. When DB comments moved to ID, pmco was already taken so I became FKApmco.
All my love. xoxo
Copywrite? If you're going to copy my idea, at least copy right.
Sorry about that. Must have been operator error on my part. "intense debate" — or I –snipped off the last little bit of the comment. Or else there is a word limit on intense debate.
Apologies.
Subliminal full disclosure, GMCR is trending Bearishly and due dilligence is required before investing. The NKI!
I am not you but I do admire your work
Jackass, she's interviewed him personally.
I believe it was available to the world through Scrib'd before it was here. These things aren't really secrets. After all, Einhorn wants to make a case and profit from broad acceptance of the validity of that case, so D'uh why would he want to keep the presentation secret? Nice of you to drop by though, Mr Assange.
Nothing says fuck you like a smiling bear
"Yelling Fire in a Crowded Theater – That's How I Roll" – Einhorny
Chimmi Changas eh? Is that what they're handing out at OWS these days? Say… when'd you learn how to read and write? Was it in special ed or did you take a Reading and Writing for Dummies visual course standing in the NY unemployment line for 99 weeks? Great managers can charge w/e. Go kill yourself. Your kind isn't appreciated here.
is that your kid or you in the pic?
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