• 21 Oct 2011 at 10:45 AM

Laughed THROUGH THE TEARS, That Is

By

On Thursday night Stephen Schwarzman delivered the keynote speech at the Alfred E. Smith Memorial Foundation Dinner, an annual Catholic charity fund-raiser named in honor of the former governor of New York. By tradition, the keynote speaker of the 66-year-old event is supposed to deliver a mostly humorous speech, and Mr. Schwarzman’s roughly 15-minute peroration was laced with humor…[Such as] the line that brought the house down: “Brian Moynihan is here tonight. He’s the C.E.O. of Bank of America. As many of you know, Brian’s brother Patrick runs a Catholic boarding school in Haiti. Their parents must be so proud to see two of their boys running an underfunded, nonprofit organization. Even Mr. Moynihan, who was in the audience, laughed.” [Dealbook]

Comments (114)

  1. 1
    Posted by guestapo | October 21, 2011 at 11:08 AM

    Burn!

  2. 2
    Posted by guest | October 21, 2011 at 11:10 AM

    LOL on the image file name.

  3. 3
    Posted by Texashedge | October 21, 2011 at 11:18 AM

    I actually think the Vatican is pretty well-funded

  4. 4
    Posted by Guesty | October 21, 2011 at 11:18 AM

    There is a difference between nonprofit and no profit.

  5. 5
    Posted by Moynie | October 21, 2011 at 11:24 AM

    Yeah, but my brother's non-profit doesn't pay him millions while he runs it into the ground!

    *crickets*

    Tough crowd…

  6. 6
    Posted by early_hominid | October 21, 2011 at 11:26 AM

    "Blackstone staff members took weeks to write the speech . . .."

    Lame. On many levels.

  7. 7
    Posted by geoffgeoffgeoff | October 21, 2011 at 11:27 AM

    You ever eat cheese? Cheese is a funny thing. Cheese is a strange thing. I always wonder where…

    *puke*

    -Cliff Asness

  8. 8
    Posted by Guest | October 21, 2011 at 11:27 AM

    So does this mean I can get a tax deduction for my BAC shares?

    -Everyone reaping the benefits of what the orange man sowed

  9. 9
    Posted by Guesty | October 21, 2011 at 11:28 AM

    But Patrick's employees are the ones who know their work will one day make a difference.

    Deck chairs. Now in the shape of a figure eight. Go!

  10. 10
    Posted by Alt_EST | October 21, 2011 at 11:28 AM

    Boarding school in Haiti? New school for the recruitment list!

    -UBS HR MD

  11. 11
    Posted by RichieRich | October 21, 2011 at 11:28 AM

    But what about the legitimate years??

    -KL

  12. 12
    Posted by Guest | October 21, 2011 at 11:31 AM

    But, as I pointed out to those seated at my table. If I was CEO of Blackstone, the company would be twice the size it is right now. I'm telling you, that place is loaded. There's no question about it.

    –Brian Moynihan

  13. 13
    Posted by Critic | October 21, 2011 at 11:40 AM

    Jeffrey Epstein could have done more with that material.

  14. 14
    Posted by thumbs sideways | October 21, 2011 at 11:41 AM

    I hear ya, bro'. I hear ya

    -Rex Ryan

  15. 15
    Posted by guest | October 21, 2011 at 11:41 AM

    "Bank of America would like you to also know that we can combine your meal, beverage, and desert into a single meal that will take advantage of all the synergies that only an insttution of our size can offer."

  16. 16
    Posted by P. Hartman | October 21, 2011 at 11:44 AM

    'Normally I'd wear a condom, but I figure – when am I going to be in Haiti again'

  17. 17
    Posted by Al Smith | October 21, 2011 at 11:45 AM

    See, that's why you don't get invited to speak at these things.

  18. 18
    Posted by ShortNaked | October 21, 2011 at 11:49 AM

    Now that I have kids, I feel a lot better having a gun in the house.

  19. 19
    Posted by Guest | October 21, 2011 at 11:58 AM

    The kids at the boarding school have a much brighter future than B of A employees

  20. 20
    Posted by makemoneynotwar | October 21, 2011 at 12:14 PM

    No, but you need to go sit in the corner and wear this "dunce" hat just for admitting you own BAC shares.

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    Posted by Put_Option | October 21, 2011 at 12:32 PM

    Choate, Taft, Deerfield, Exeter = Real Boarding Schools

    No more Canadian Hockey PGs.

  22. 22
    Posted by W Buffett | October 21, 2011 at 12:44 PM

    Bad joke.

  23. 23
    Posted by guestapo | October 21, 2011 at 12:46 PM

    I hope you burn for your stupidity.

  24. 24
    Posted by Guest | October 21, 2011 at 12:55 PM

    I haven't seen Frank's dad in like eight years.

  25. 25
    Posted by Movie Buff | October 21, 2011 at 1:03 PM

    I love you dad.

  26. 26
    Posted by contango | October 21, 2011 at 1:10 PM

    america

  27. 27
    Posted by Guest | October 21, 2011 at 1:15 PM

    Yea, we put in new floors and re-did the kitchen.
    You're renting, right?
    Yep

  28. 28
    Posted by momentus | October 21, 2011 at 3:01 PM

    It's 'Africa'. Not 'Haiti'. Get your shit together.

    –Bad Idea Jeans marketing coordinator

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    Posted by Guest | October 21, 2011 at 4:31 PM

    RIP Phil, I still miss you.

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