Thespian-Cum-Trading Guru 0-For-2 On Bar Brawls

Prior to his turn as an investment banker/research analyst/junior trader/private wealth manager/PE guy in Money Never Sleeps, Shia Labeouf spent a lot of time on the Street, learning the tricks of the trade. At the Encino Charles Schwab office, he learned how to turn $20,000 into $489,000 in less than three months. A Citi, he learned how to program Bloomberg into his speed dial. At John Thomas Financial, he learned how to trade on his flip-phone. And at a diner in Lower Manhattan, after hesitating on American or Cheddar, he learned the hard way how one does and doesn’t get a job at Goldman Sachs. Unfortunately, one bit of wisdom Shia’s guru’s never thought to instill in him was how to go head to head with Marilyn Manson or take a punch from a shirtless guy in Canada.

Actor Shia LaBeouf was knocked to the ground and repeatedly punched in the head during a wild brawl outside a nightclub in Vancouver, British Columbia. Video footage shows a disheveled LaBeouf being attacked by an unidentified shirtless man outside a bar called Cinema Public House. The “Transformers” star gets to his feet and attempts to hit back but is restrained by a friend who can be heard saying, “You gotta lay low right now!” LaBeouf, 25, and the other man began arguing inside the bar. After security kicked them out, the attacker ripped off his shirt and began throwing punches at LaBeouf.

‘Transformers’ star LaBeouf beatdown [NYP]
Related: Thespian-cum-Trading Guru Suggests You Get Your Vision Checked

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39 Responses to “Thespian-Cum-Trading Guru 0-For-2 On Bar Brawls”

  1. Guest says:

    Best film he's ever made…

  2. Horn says:

    Wall Street 3: Jersey Slore Never Sleeps

  3. Kegels123 says:

    "At UBS, he learned how to lose $2 bil with the click of a mouse"

  4. AIG Quant via LEH says:

    How do you kill it?

  5. trojan_ says:


  6. Zoroz says:

    The fight winner must have lost his shirt as an IOC long on LeBeef's tip, hence the argument.

  7. guest says:

    Beating up the worst Wall Street character in movie history is NKI…

  8. Mike says:

    He needs to find another outlet for his anger, like raising pigeons.

  9. Movie Critic says:

    Bout time….

  10. Danker_Banker says:

    If you're going to pick a bar brawl in a hockey town, best make sure you're not a skinny thespian pussy first

  11. early_hominid says:

    Nothing's worse than a violent beating from an unremarkable person. Fighting is too much like fucking. Too much id involved.

  12. 3Oh! 3 says:

    "Your man couldn't cut it
    Got his fake ass gutted
    He muttered something monotoned
    Under his breath
    Now he's out first round
    With his hand on his chest
    Must have been a cardiac
    Now he's searching for his Pontiac
    To get back to a bar attack
    To brush up on his battle rap…"

  13. Cut Me says:

    Bess, shouldn't the tag be, "come at me eh".

  14. Put_Option says:

    Shia is about as hard as the moonwalk playpen at a 10-year-old's birthday party

  15. JerseyShorePatrol says:

    The guy on crutches is awesome.

  16. Martin Sheen says:

    Wow, Richard Schiff lost weight!

  17. Sleeper says:

    I thought his boy in the plaid was going to start making out with him Brokeback Mountain style for a second there…

    – Guy who hates close talkers

  18. Ike Broflovsky says:

    It's like no one takes canadians seriously, eh?

  19. Haterade says:

    The beat-up Giants hat and facial hair say laid back, the shirt that's short enough to reveal his navel if he put his arms up says I've done unspeakable things for movie roles…

  20. D says:

    Backdoor_Bess killing in on that comment.

  21. Fresh Mlk's Grandma says:

    The bearded lady is a Giants fan?

  22. Guest says:


  23. HarvardBrohan says:

    Hung out with Shia last night, saw "Oh Africa, Brave Africa", it was a laugh riot.

    -Patrick Bateman,CFA

  24. TheodoreBallgamePhD says:

    He's one of the greats!

    -J. Cramer

  25. Reticent Grandma says:

    That's a shame.

  26. guest says:

    Shia "not so" la Buff

  27. CPB says:

    Douche? Yes. But he's still worth $40M and bangs models on the reg.

  28. HFguy says:

    BUMBLE BEE where the fuck are you

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