• 03 Nov 2011 at 2:09 PM

If He Could Turn Back Time…If He Could Find A Way

In 2003, things were going pretty well for Todd J. Remis. Great, even. The equity research analyst had left Warburg Pincus Asset Management to found Hygrove Partners LLC, he was living the good life in New York City and he’d recently married Latvia native Milena Grzibovska. The wedding was an intimate affair that included less than 40 guests and took place at Castle on the Hudson in Tarrytown. A proud husband, Remis sent a photo of the happy couple to his alma mater for inclusion in its newsletter, for all his former Bowdoin College classmates to see.

Fast forward six years, and things were going less swimmingly for Todd. For starters, the Chicago Booth grad’s marriage had hit the skids, with a separation in 2008 and an official divorce by 2010. Additionally, he was unemployed, having been laid off or fired from his job at Legg Mason’s ClearBridge Advisors. And with that kind of loss and time on his hands, Todd wanted nothing more than to sit around looking at photos of memories past, specifically of the day he married Milena. Only Todd couldn’t do that, could he? At least not in the way he wanted to, which was by going through the photos chronologically, very beginning to very end, from Milena getting dressed to the bouquet toss to the last dance, laughing, crying, wiping his tears with each shot, laying down naked on a pile of them scattered on the bathroom floor and remembering how he felt that day. The reason he couldn’t do that? Because someone FUCKED Todd, good and hard. And the more Todd thought about it, the more he decided that he had to make that person pay.

…a month after the wedding, when Mr. Remis returned to the studio to look over the proofs, he complained that the three-person crew had missed the last 15 minutes — the last dance and the bouquet toss. He noted in a deposition last July that the employees at H & H did not respond in a courtly fashion. Mr. Remis is suing H & H Photographers, a 65-year-old studio known fondly among thousands of former and current Bronx residents because it chronicled their weddings, bar mitzvahs and communions….The couple separated around 2008 and their divorce, which Mr. Remis contends was amicable, was finalized in 2010. Mr. Remis sued in 2009, just before the statute of limitation was about to expire, according to Mr. Fried. Mr. Remis testified that he wanted photographs of the wedding, even if it ended in divorce and even if Mr. Fried contended he already had them. And not only has Mr. Remis demanded to be repaid the $4,100 cost of the photography, he also wants $48,000 to recreate the entire wedding and fly the principals to New York so the celebration can be re-shot by another photographer. “I need to have the wedding recreated exactly as it was so that the remaining 15 percent of the wedding that was not shot can be shot,” he testified.

For those quick to label the suit “absurd” or “bat shit insane,” like the photographers being sued, or question why Todd is demanding a redo: he has his reasons. “[The divorce] unfortunate in its circumstances,” he says, “but we are very much happy with the wedding event and we would like to have it documented for eternity.” As for the matter of how Remis plans to convince his ex-wife to take part in the second wedding, never you mind that. Milena, who is “believed to have moved back to her native Latvia” will be there.

And if all this seems unfair to H & H Photographers, who say the suit is hurting their bottom line, they’re just the first of many to be on the receiving end of Remis’s wrath. Next up: the flower girl, AKA “the snot-nosed brat” who “haphazardly dumped the petals down the aisle,” the bartender who watered down the drinks, the valet who Remis knows got high in his car, the best man whose toast included a line about Milena being a mail order bride, and his mother-in-law, just for being a bitch. All your days of reckoning are coming.

Years Later, Lawsuit Seeks to Recreate a Wedding [NYT]
Todd Remis [LinkedIn]

149 comments (hidden for your protection)
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Comments (149)

  1. Posted by MIchael Scott | November 3, 2011 at 2:16 PM

    I thought he went to Cornell.

  2. Posted by Guest | November 3, 2011 at 2:16 PM

    Checkered bow tie. Worn by virgins everywhere.

  3. Posted by minus 1% | November 3, 2011 at 2:17 PM

    should have converted and maybe this wouldn't have ended so terribly.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4pZinXoUyeQ

  4. Posted by K Kardashian | November 3, 2011 at 2:17 PM

    Who does fake weddings?!

  5. Posted by Guy with A.D.D. | November 3, 2011 at 2:21 PM

    I thought Mail-order brides did it for citizenship? This guy is such a dork (Yes I said DORK) that she decided citizenship wasnt worth it and went back to Lativa.
    He looks like the easter bunny with those teeth
    What a Loser!

  6. Posted by Guest | November 3, 2011 at 2:22 PM

    This guy is killing the value of my Booth MBA.

    - J. Corzine

  7. Posted by Grease | November 3, 2011 at 2:23 PM

    Men are harder in Latvia

  8. Posted by Alt_EST | November 3, 2011 at 2:23 PM

    The last five minutes of that video are the new couple together back at the hotel room, and Todd's spank bank is running dry.

  9. Posted by Milena Grzibovska | November 3, 2011 at 2:23 PM

    In mother Russia, photographs take you!

  10. Posted by Kegels123 | November 3, 2011 at 2:24 PM

    I think we can create a spot for you.

    -UBS MD

  11. Posted by Not Brittney Spears | November 3, 2011 at 2:26 PM

    Who was the first to figure out the other was vapid?

  12. Posted by Todd J. Remis | November 3, 2011 at 2:27 PM

    I want another crack at the SATs too, dammit!

  13. Posted by -!- | November 3, 2011 at 2:28 PM

    no, yes

  14. Posted by largent80 | November 3, 2011 at 2:29 PM

    is it asking too much to have one of Milena's kids from her 2nd marriage to a Eastern European oligarch be the new flower girl?

  15. Posted by guest | November 3, 2011 at 2:31 PM

    A+ for BL

  16. Posted by Abe_Froman_ | November 3, 2011 at 2:31 PM

    The short version:
    Nerdy kid (bowtie) gets a street job and makes some coin, has no game or friends (<40 guests) so he goes online and finds his Eastern European bride to be. In the beginning they both get what they wanted, for her the lifestyle and money, for him a kinda hot wife to send a pic back to the old college paper (I’ll show them) ….fast-forward to ’08 the job and cash is gone and bride quickly heads back to Latvia with the $10k she put aside when things were still good to live like a queen for life.

    Nerdy and broke he comes up with a plan after a long night of JO&Cing, sue the photographer…worst case get some cash, best case get the girl back to the US and recreate the magic

  17. Posted by Mexi_Cant | November 3, 2011 at 2:36 PM

    I don't understand why all you people are laughing at this poor man's suffering. All he wants is to fuck his fake-russian wife one more time, and his method of doing it is by having a wedding. It's costlier than roofies but same concept.

  18. Posted by lex luthor | November 3, 2011 at 2:36 PM

    He should sue his parents for birthing such a doooochebague.

  19. Posted by lex luthor | November 3, 2011 at 2:41 PM

    He should sue his parents for negligent birthing of a douchebag. Also, really funny stuff, bess.

  20. Posted by OriginalityPolice | November 3, 2011 at 2:43 PM

    I know UBS is a joke and all but this tag line is the opposite of the NKI, which ironically, is also a term that needs to be retired as well. Let's try something new here people.

  21. Posted by Mclovin | November 3, 2011 at 2:43 PM

    And you guys thought Shia was the only actor with finance chops

    - Christopher "McLovin" Mintz-Plasse

  22. Posted by Grease | November 3, 2011 at 2:43 PM

    Who are YOU calling you people?

  23. Posted by Bandersnatch | November 3, 2011 at 2:44 PM

    Clearly Todd was tired of working and wanted to make sure no firm that has access to Google will ever hire such a wackadoodle bow tie wearing Bowdoin / Booth stalker.
    - Reaonably happily married guy that has never looked at his wedding album or wedding video

  24. Posted by Texashedge | November 3, 2011 at 2:45 PM

    Love, she is a motherfucker, eh?

  25. Posted by The Legitimate Years | November 3, 2011 at 2:46 PM

    lights dimmed. Milena's gobal endowmnets covered in borscht. me wearing a cossack hat.

    das vedanya

  26. Posted by PermaGuestII | November 3, 2011 at 2:46 PM

    According to LinkedIn he graduated Bowdoin in '89, was at Fidelity for 6-7yrs then got his MBA from Chicago. Assuming he was 21 when he graduated he'd have been 35 when he was married. Scenario you outlined sounds more like what would happen to a nerdy 24-year-old, not a guy with an MBA and 10-odd years of industry experience.

  27. Posted by Abe_Froman_ | November 3, 2011 at 2:48 PM

    Sorry Todd

  28. Posted by Bandersnatch | November 3, 2011 at 2:49 PM

    I think that's about the worst thing I've ever heard. How marvelous.
    - Count Rugen

  29. Posted by guest | November 3, 2011 at 2:50 PM

    One of these is not like the other…………..

  30. Posted by Pete from the Bush | November 3, 2011 at 2:50 PM

    I think it would be worth it just to see the grown up flower girl recreating her role, coming down the aisle with 9 earrings, smoking a cigarette. This guy is seriously fucked.

  31. Posted by Guest | November 3, 2011 at 2:54 PM

    The photos were a gift Todd. I'm taking them with me.

  32. Posted by Guest | November 3, 2011 at 2:54 PM
  33. Posted by Chazy G | November 3, 2011 at 2:59 PM

    Remis?
    Remis?
    Your last name is REMIS?

    Hahahahahahahahahaaa

  34. Posted by Mexi_Cant | November 3, 2011 at 3:00 PM

    Good fucking find. Side face is the best beat off material.

  35. Posted by guest | November 3, 2011 at 3:02 PM

    tag "MILENA- KNOCK TWICE IF YOU'RE LOCKED IN THE BASEMENT AND CAN HEAR US!!!"

    my thoughts exactly.

  36. Posted by guest | November 3, 2011 at 3:03 PM

    So she was 20 when he married her? Nice, Todd. Nice.

  37. Posted by guest | November 3, 2011 at 3:11 PM

    saying the NKI needs to be the OKI, is definitely not the NKI, fckface.

  38. Posted by Owen | November 3, 2011 at 3:11 PM

    +1

  39. Posted by guesticles | November 3, 2011 at 3:12 PM

    OriginalityPolice AKA UBS MD

  40. Posted by guest | November 3, 2011 at 3:15 PM

    Ordering a not so hot eastern european bride was the OKI… suing everyone from your past to make a living is NKI…

  41. Posted by Socratic Method | November 3, 2011 at 3:15 PM

    did they get any shots of her feet? If not, I'll redo them.

    –Rex Ryan

  42. Posted by Men's Warehouse | November 3, 2011 at 3:16 PM

    Hey! He loved the way he looked….and I guaranteed it.

  43. Posted by guest | November 3, 2011 at 3:20 PM

    She looks like she's already planning her escape in that photo.

  44. Posted by GuestofTheGuest | November 3, 2011 at 3:22 PM

    Yet another Booth "winner" – as they say "the world is responding to Booth thinking". hahahahahahahahahhahaha

  45. Posted by PermaGuestII | November 3, 2011 at 3:22 PM

    My point was, there's got to be something seriously off– i.e. Patrick Bateman-esque off– about this dude given the chronology of all of this.

    -divorced guy who would rather cut off his left thumb with a cold chisel than "reinact" his wedding to his ex-wife

  46. Posted by PermaGuestII | November 3, 2011 at 3:25 PM

    It's not just the bowtie; its the argyll bowtie-and-matching-vest that's so bad. I'm assuming both are lavender.

  47. Posted by Ron | November 3, 2011 at 3:33 PM

    looks like garth from Wayne's World. minus the coolness.

  48. Posted by im_new_here | November 3, 2011 at 3:35 PM

    Yes, it's the chronology that makes me think he's off, not the demands in his lawsuit.

  49. Posted by Winthorpe | November 3, 2011 at 3:37 PM

    Lookin good, Todd.

    Feelin good, Lewis

  50. Posted by Guest | November 3, 2011 at 3:38 PM

    Either I'm missing your sarcasm or your missing the following:

    Partner at dad's firm says find a reason to sue for enough money and they'll probably settle, photog calls his bluff, fuckface ends up in the NYT.

    I just hope daddy's firm bills him $500/hr for this debacle.

  51. Posted by Yankov | November 3, 2011 at 3:39 PM

    I can see why she married him … ELO HOTTTT STUFFFFF

  52. Posted by Touch Base Later | November 3, 2011 at 3:43 PM

    Once she actually learned a little bit of English and realized she was Milena Ream-us, she decided it was time to find another last name.

  53. Posted by derp | November 3, 2011 at 3:45 PM

    Nobody remembers the legitimate pics.

  54. Posted by Guest | November 3, 2011 at 3:48 PM

    CFA-1 MBA-0

  55. Posted by APimpNamedSlickback | November 3, 2011 at 3:52 PM

    the term for it is 'role-play' … it's cheaper to outsource than get an american working girl to do it

  56. Posted by im_new_here | November 3, 2011 at 3:53 PM

    "What she received as well was an education in New York life …"

    You sure did, Milena. You suuuuuuure did.

  57. Posted by PermaGuestII | November 3, 2011 at 3:53 PM

    Well, that too.

  58. Posted by Todd the Barista | November 3, 2011 at 4:10 PM

    She' holding up. I'd still hit it:
    http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1000022070

  59. Posted by guest | November 3, 2011 at 4:14 PM

    maybe the last 15 minutes was the camera crew tagging milena in the dungeon and can actually be found on youporn.

  60. Posted by Guesticles | November 3, 2011 at 4:15 PM

    After taking a good long look at her, can anyone honestly say with 100% certainty that she does not have a penis?

  61. Posted by Roger Moore | November 3, 2011 at 4:17 PM

    Didn't see Dealvbreaker.com on her activity list.

  62. Posted by Guest | November 3, 2011 at 4:17 PM

    Just like you.

  63. Posted by MeVC | November 3, 2011 at 4:18 PM

    Looks to me like the dentist guy from The Hangover…

  64. Posted by J. Corzine | November 3, 2011 at 4:25 PM

    OriginalityPolice & Wollensky

  65. Posted by s cheslock | November 3, 2011 at 4:32 PM

    would she like to marry a formerly rich Polish guy who lives in a 26k sq. foot house in Greenwich ?

  66. Posted by E. Spitzer | November 3, 2011 at 4:40 PM

    Sheesh. Hasn't this guy ever heard of the internet? Plenty of pictures on there that will ease his frustrations, surely…

  67. Posted by Hit Me On The Box | November 3, 2011 at 5:07 PM

    The dude's story is typical of folk wishing for the "good old days". I heard former Enron traders like to get old copies of Platt's Gas Daily from the year 2001 and sobbingly remember the alleged prices they reported for its first of the month "index" price creation.

  68. Posted by Guest-ee-cue-los | November 3, 2011 at 5:32 PM

    "and we would like to have it documented for eternity.”

    Look for severe childhood disturbances associated with violence. Our Remis wasn't born a criminal, Bess. He was made one through years of systematic abuse. Remis hates his own identity, you see, and he thinks that makes him an analyst. But his pathology is a thousand times more savage and more terrifying.

  69. Posted by Jacob Moore | November 3, 2011 at 5:58 PM

    And my liberal arts degree!

    -Polar bear

  70. Posted by trojan_ | November 3, 2011 at 8:06 PM

    You, me, bars, beers, buzzed. Wings. Shots. Drunk. Waitresses, hot. Football – Cornell/Hofstra. Slaughter. Then a quick nap at my place and we'll hit the tiz-own.

  71. Posted by 734bro | November 3, 2011 at 9:39 PM

    I disagree. I think he looks more like the guy from The Office who went to Cornell.

    -UBS MD

  72. Posted by Guest | November 3, 2011 at 11:52 PM

    Can't you people give Remis a break?

    The poor guy is only trying to remember and reminisce his legitimate years.

    UBS MD who feels his pain.

  73. Posted by LolaNo | November 4, 2011 at 12:38 AM

    And a blow up doll, still less… Just sayin'

  74. Posted by LolaNo | November 4, 2011 at 12:39 AM

    I'm proud for you that you even know what a wedding album and video are. Most guys don't…

  75. Posted by LolaNO | November 4, 2011 at 12:46 AM

    Sounds like just plain spoiled and selfish to me.

  76. Posted by ACDC | November 4, 2011 at 2:08 AM

    dumbo & fisbo.

  77. Posted by Guest | November 4, 2011 at 2:39 AM

    Buddhism + Kabbalah + Suze Orman < = Loser suing for wedding redo with bottle of Viagra. Train wreck that MTV should jump all over.

  78. Posted by Guest | November 4, 2011 at 5:21 AM

    "and we would like to have it documented for eternity.”

    how about having "UBS Sucks" hot branded on his arse? That would definitely be with him for eternity.

  79. Posted by Movie Extra | November 4, 2011 at 6:56 AM

    Isn't this a publicity still from The Hangover III? That guy is the dentist, right?

    - Guy who lost his finger and no-one even noticed

  80. Posted by Guest | November 4, 2011 at 8:30 AM

    she's not even hot.

  81. Posted by Guest | November 4, 2011 at 9:00 AM

    She's not atrocious looking either.

  82. Posted by George Zipp | November 4, 2011 at 10:25 AM

    He has. And dont call him Surely

  83. Posted by Dr Livingstone | November 4, 2011 at 11:08 AM

    So you're saying that industry experience precludes him from being a total nerd? Can't say I agree, seen some disfunctional freakshows in my time, and a lot older.

  84. Posted by Dr Livingstone | November 4, 2011 at 11:30 AM

    Remis & Wollensky

  85. Posted by Guest | November 4, 2011 at 2:18 PM

    Now all that's left from his marriage is memories. That's why you never sign a pre-nup.

    - UBS MD

  86. Posted by Barney | November 4, 2011 at 2:30 PM

    That's what the thumbs up button is for

  87. Posted by Guest | November 4, 2011 at 3:07 PM

    Guy who's going to go like this comment again from his home computer tonight.

  88. Posted by Name | November 4, 2011 at 3:34 PM
  89. Posted by AFS | November 4, 2011 at 3:37 PM

    view on wall street protest and related — http://policyandmore.blogspot.com/2011/11/blog-po

  90. Posted by ryan | November 4, 2011 at 4:47 PM

    Here is the dude's linkedin account … suggest IMO that NO ONE hire him ever…
    http://www.linkedin.com/profile/view?id=38765453&amp;…

  91. Posted by ryan | November 4, 2011 at 4:47 PM

    Here is his Linkedin Account … unemployeed and likely to stay that way …
    http://www.linkedin.com/profile/view?id=38765453&amp;…

  92. Posted by Name | November 4, 2011 at 5:47 PM

    Goodwin Procter is representing – where his daddy, Shepard Remis (http://www.goodwinprocter.com/People/R/Remis-Shepard.aspx), is a partner. Remis’s attorney Frederick McGowen is counsel in the firm’s New York office.

    It looks like its father like son, at least when it comes to litigation, beady little eyes and a beaver smile. But I think this is as far in his daddy's footsteps he'll make it as I doubt if the son gets anywhere in his future after this little stunt – who would ever hire this unemployed joke of a person.

    By the way, according to CNN – the guy they are suing is an old US war vet who escaped persecution in Poland during WWII.

    Don't know if Goodwin or Procter is still around but I wouldn't appreciate someone making a mockery of my law firm, partner or not.

  93. Posted by hatetoregister | November 6, 2011 at 9:01 PM

    OMG! @Guest I laughed so hard at your comment once I realized where I heard those words – Silence of the Lambs……LOL! That was REALLY FUNNY!

  94. Posted by Im Dating A OnePercenter | November 16, 2011 at 1:46 PM

    What about the refund for the mail order bride? That didnt turn out to hotttt either, so why just sue the photo guy? Be a true douche and sue the mail order company for breach of contract! What a jokeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

  95. Posted by PRSpokesperson | January 11, 2012 at 8:50 PM

    There are two sides to every story, including the sensationalized half story given to the media recently by a disgruntled litigant, H&H Photographers. But facts are stubborn things, and here are a few more which did not get reported.
    Please judge for yourself by reading Todd's statement and see the backup documents on http://www.toddremis.com

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