Maybe you’re a first-year analyst at Goldman Sachs who’d like to run the place. Maybe you’re a SAC trader who wants to be the next Steve. Maybe you’re the CEO of JPMorgan, though you’d prefer the title of Mr. Treasury Secretary. Maybe you’re a mega successful hedge fund manager who dreams of breeding dogs and, one day, taking your best dog to Alaska to run and win the Iditorad in record time, with you driving. You’ve all got a dream but the question is, how are you going to make it happen? If you really want to know, Mike Bloomberg will tell you. The first thing you’re gonna do, the Mayor said in an recent interview, is you’re gonna stop being afraid. You’re not going to have a defeatist attitude that causes you to miss out on things. You’re going to seize every day as an opportunity and you’re going to realize that every situation has an upside if you look hard enough. Sayeth Hizzoner:
“You have that drive to look at the bright side. There’s never been a day I haven’t looked forward to going into work- even the days I knew I was going to get beat up, even the day I knew I was going to get fired…I had never been fired before and wondered what it was like-I thought okay, let’s go find out.”
Second, and most importantly, you’re going to put in the time. Now, Mike knows that anyone can spout off vague cliches about working hard and blah, blah, blah. He’s not here to do that. He’s here to tell you to keep your ass glued to that god damn chair and not get up for anything. Not fresh air, not lunch, not to take a leak. Think he’s not speaking literally? Think again! He doesn’t care if you’re about to piss your pants or if you have a family history of kidney failure. You get out of that chair and it’s over.
“I am not smarter than anybody else but I can out work you – and my key to success for you, or anybody else is make sure you are the first one in there every day and the last one to leave. Don’t ever take a lunch break or go to the bathroom, you keep working. You don’t ever know when that opportunity is going to come along.”
Don’t look back thirty years from now and realize you pissed it away. You can take a bathroom break when you’re dead.
Founder Stories: Mayor Bloomberg [TechCrunch via Daily Intel]
I wear depends for this very reason (and no other reason…)
- UBS MD
Hey, at least UBS was first in something for a change- posting a reply to this…
"I had never been fired before and wondered what it was like-I thought okay, let’s go find out."
This sounds like it's straight out of Seinfeld
Ahh, I wondered why he always looks constipated. Now it makes sense
Back in the good old days before computers and women, we could just piss on the floor of the exchange. Now you'll get fucking electrocuted and lose your pension.
is this guy kidding me…don't use bathroom or lunch breaks…wowo
Makes me think of the kid in 2nd grade that sat there and pissed himself rather than ask to go to the bathroom. The only way he lived that down was changing schools.
I am all for giving people "the bird", but this is going a bit far.
Good advice. Would be more persuasive if we hadn't been up to our tits in snow last winter while Mike was incommunicado in Bermuda.
Sounds like a convenient excuse for incontinence…
Oh man, what confusion!! The site that I read to procrastinate and NOT do my work is touting working harder and better?!? Shit! How does one interpret this?!?
Don't take a piss? Man, you don't no nothing.
-R Kelly
He got a $10 MM severance from Solomon Brothers.
That's not my definition of getting fired.
Yep, not taking a leak worked out for me.
- Tycho Brahe
Another UBS joke? How fucking original. And lame and boring and not funny anymore.
Everyword is true. He brings his office chair when he takes the subway
UBS must not have fire you yet
And that was 30 years ago!
*penison
I don't think he meant this to be taken too literally. Or if he did, and the best opportunities truly do come to the starving and urine-soaked, then NYC's homeless are really dropping the ball.