• 28 Nov 2011 at 12:02 PM

Pump And Dump King Seeks Queen

By

Are you a lady looking for love? Have you found relationships with men who haven’t done time in federal prison to be lacking a certain je ne sais quoi? Does the idea of being with a guy who has an elastic view of securities laws do anything for you? Then girlfriends, you are in for a treat. Roy Ageloff, a “former millionaire trader” who is finishing up an 11 year sentence for running a “vast pump and dump manipulation,” is schedule to be sprung free on Dec. 11, 2013 and he hopes you’ll be waiting for him. Interested? Here’s Roy, in his own words.

Believe it or not, I was once on top of the world. Unfortunately, I’ve temporarily been dethroned of my crown. But rest assured, I will be king of the mountain again soon. Are you up for the journey back to the top with me? What good is it to be king if you have no queen? I have experienced the highs and lows of life. Obviously my current prison condition is the latter. But by no means has it dampered my zest for life. If you’re looking for some entertainment, all the while finding out more about me, just Google my name. Believe me you will be entertained. I have a track record for success but I won’t rest on my laurels. The best is yet to come. I am currently looking for someone who may be interested in sharing my love for sports, entertainment, but most of all adventure. The 3 core values I am looking for in a woman are: Loyalty, Ambition, and having an honest heart. I am looking for someone who is willing to stick with me through the ups and downs or what else the future may hold. The one thing I can guarantee is you will never have a dull moment with me….I have multiple ways of communication and would love to share in positive energy.

Roy’s likes include: Italian food (his favorite cuisine), Field of Dreams (his favorite movie), and R&B (his favorite music). His hero is Robin Hood and his life motto is “Never give up.” A Renaissance man, Roy also has a few acting credits to his name, including a turn as a DEA agent in The Last Marshal. One thing you should know, if debts are a dealbreaker, is that he currently owes $190 million in restitution to the victims of his stock fraud. But maybe just consider it all part of the journey.

Imprisoned Wall Street trader looking for love online [NYP]
Roy Ageloff #57431-053 [Prison Inmates]
Roy Ageloff [IMDB]

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Comments (47)

  1. 1
    Posted by Texashedge | November 28, 2011 at 12:22 PM

    Pump and dump? Nah, I'm not into that German porn.

  2. 2
    Posted by Dumbass Oil Trader | November 28, 2011 at 12:22 PM

    "……Former millionaire trader……" So, he started with a billion?

  3. 3
    Posted by Muscles Milkerino | November 28, 2011 at 12:24 PM

    What can he bench?

  4. 4
    Posted by ddddddsd | November 28, 2011 at 12:30 PM

    That guy has old balls…

  5. 5
    Posted by Critic | November 28, 2011 at 12:31 PM

    Likes: Cliches and metaphors, mixed or unmixed

  6. 6
    Posted by geoffgeoffgeoff | November 28, 2011 at 12:32 PM

    Between Robin Hood and Field of Dreams, methinks he's a fan of Kevin Costner. May I recommend two girls, one tin cup upon his release.

    -Judge Gnocci Coque, "Did God Paint You" Quant

  7. 7
    Posted by Roger Moore | November 28, 2011 at 12:34 PM

    Austrian porn you mean.

  8. 8
    Posted by Guest | November 28, 2011 at 12:37 PM

    Failed, bloated traders are the lowest form of Bad Boy.

    - Female Guest Who Definitely Had A Thing For Wild Asses Back In The Day.

  9. 9
    Posted by Jackie Treehorn | November 28, 2011 at 12:37 PM

    No time for love Dr. Jones.

  10. 10
    Posted by HungryIntern | November 28, 2011 at 12:40 PM

    Lover your smile and your jawline. Call Me!

    Lynn T.
    (212) 825-0550

  11. 11
    Posted by Tuckhead | November 28, 2011 at 12:41 PM

    That shit cray…That shit cray; That shit cray

  12. 12
    Posted by Robin the Hood | November 28, 2011 at 12:42 PM

    Pump and Dump II – The Prison Years

  13. 13
    Posted by Merritt Parkway | November 28, 2011 at 12:46 PM

    I like the cut of your jib.

  14. 14
    Posted by Not Me | November 28, 2011 at 12:57 PM

    I challenge this guy for the title.
    -R. Siffredi

  15. 15
    Posted by Guest | November 28, 2011 at 1:00 PM

    This picture confuses me….

  16. 16
    Posted by Bernie | November 28, 2011 at 1:01 PM

    I'm into split-strike if you're ready for a put straddle.

  17. 17
    Posted by Guy with A.D.D. | November 28, 2011 at 1:03 PM

    Is this guy the original Lenny Dykstra!?

  18. 18
    Posted by wahoo | November 28, 2011 at 1:07 PM

    A good pump always makes me dump.

    - L. Tilton

  19. 19
    Posted by 2_Small_2_Bail | November 28, 2011 at 1:09 PM

    I don't know how you got the crown with your resume. Nevertheless, I challenge you to a duel.

    -J Belfort

  20. 20
    Posted by Guest | November 28, 2011 at 1:24 PM

    Gross.

  21. 21
    Posted by Guest | November 28, 2011 at 1:26 PM

    I thought Joey Buttafuoco got out of prison a while ago

  22. 22
    Posted by I'm a Dude | November 28, 2011 at 1:30 PM

    Dear Roy,
    We have googled your name and are extremely impressed with your credentials.
    Your 3 core values of "Loyalty, Ambition, and an honest heart" is a perfect fit for our firm. And owing $190mm? its almost a match made in heaven.
    Please be in touch as we would like to schedule an interview as soon as you're out on parole.
    Looking forward.
    UBS HR Dept

  23. 23
    Posted by The Truth | November 28, 2011 at 1:34 PM

    "Loyalty, Ambition, and having an honest heart" = "big tits, tight ass, loose morals"

  24. 24
    Posted by Kegels123 | November 28, 2011 at 1:39 PM

    I eat pieces of shit like this guy for breakfast.

    -B. Madoff

  25. 25
    Posted by Guestinho | November 28, 2011 at 1:57 PM

    " But by no means has it dampered my zest for life" ?? I'm no native English speaker, but "dampered"? Other than that, I have no concerns.

  26. 26
    Posted by Jimmy | November 28, 2011 at 2:02 PM

    I used to fuck guys like you in prison.

  27. 27
    Posted by Anon Corp Dev Guy | November 28, 2011 at 2:10 PM

    Wait, Bruce Willis is in prison, and he has hair again?

  28. 28
    Posted by Seth | November 28, 2011 at 2:13 PM

    Well, I'm calling to tell you about an explosive situation we have going on right now. A pharmaceutical company, Farrow Tech has a drug called Parattin in the third stage of FDA approval.

  29. 29
    Posted by Critic | November 28, 2011 at 2:15 PM

    "You really jarred something loose, Tiger."

    - Roy Munson's Landlady

  30. 30
    Posted by Put_Option | November 28, 2011 at 2:16 PM

    I've never seen a Thumb wear a shirt before

  31. 31
    Posted by Ash. K. | November 28, 2011 at 2:24 PM

    Bruce Willis sure put on weight since he went to the slammer. What happened?

  32. 32
    Posted by streethockey | November 28, 2011 at 2:32 PM

    Get him my number.
    K. Kardashian

  33. 33
    Posted by Guest | November 28, 2011 at 2:50 PM

    What's prison?
    -A. Stanford

  34. 34
    Posted by Guest | November 28, 2011 at 2:53 PM

    What does that look like to you? Is the guy…? Is the bear…? Excuse me Bear… Bear fucker!

  35. 35
    Posted by Guest | November 28, 2011 at 3:26 PM

    That photo is from the legitimate years…Moonlighting '85-'89

  36. 36
    Posted by Bernie Fine | November 28, 2011 at 3:30 PM

    Ha! Google MY name if you want to see something!

  37. 37
    Posted by Rob | November 28, 2011 at 3:48 PM

    He can have Andrew Fastow's leftovers. December 17, 2011, Watch Out Houston!

  38. 38
    Posted by guest | November 28, 2011 at 4:39 PM

    +1

  39. 39
    Posted by guest | November 28, 2011 at 4:39 PM

    This made me laugh.

  40. 40
    Posted by Al Swearingen | November 28, 2011 at 4:40 PM

    You look good all cleaned up; your own mother will have to smell you all over just so she knows you're hers…

  41. 41
    Posted by Prison Olympics | November 28, 2011 at 4:49 PM

    More like the Clean and Jerk after some Squats in the shower while looking for his "Queen"

  42. 42
    Posted by @nopasa | November 28, 2011 at 4:58 PM

    He's working that "Sons of Anarchy" angle I guess, but he'd better make sure to be careful picking up the soap. "Real purdy mouth you got there boy…."

  43. 43
    Posted by ttt | November 28, 2011 at 5:15 PM

    too easy: Ruth Madoff

  44. 44
    Posted by JT Marlin | November 28, 2011 at 5:37 PM

    I didn't know Vin Diesel's character in Boiler Room was based on a real guy!

  45. 45
    Posted by FuckYourFace_Bro | November 28, 2011 at 10:15 PM

    Your name says enough here.

  46. 46
    Posted by meerfunC | April 14, 2012 at 7:54 PM

    purchase cheap chanel purses online shopping

  47. 47
    Posted by Pearline Frames | May 10, 2012 at 1:40 AM

    rrr. I just tried this on my wife’s computer. She hasn’t upgraded her tracks. It smugly tells me that Itunes is now DRM free and gives no further information about how to upgrade existing tracks (the FAQ has a hyperlink that goes back again to that page you point at, and also a suggestion to upgrade your iTunes… we’re up to date )

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