Are you frustrated with Bank of America? Do you have one simple request, but have found it impossible to get through to anyone? Do you feel like no one’s listening? Maybe you’re an employee who wants to have a frank talk about bonuses, and if you can expect to get one this year. Maybe you’re a homeowner who doesn’t want to get wrongfully foreclosed on and have your beloved parrot stolen, again. Maybe you’re a shareholder who’s been begging for a dividend increase. Maybe you’re an ex-CEO named Ken who just wants a tiny little bit of office space out of which to run the party promoting business you recently started with your friend Ang Moz. Whatever your desire, consider taking a page from Ken Williams’ playabook. He tried going through the normal channels to get what he wanted and then cut the shit and got serious, by appealing to BofA’s serious love of snappy tunes.

For more than 70 days, Williams said he and his wife sat in limbo as Bank of America missed three closing dates on the home they wanted to buy in Decatur. The bank, he said, wouldn’t return calls or emails. Staring at a potential fourth missed closing date on Friday and the prospect of being charged daily fees by the seller, Williams vented his frustration in song. Last weekend Williams wrote and recorded a music video he posted Sunday afternoon on YouTube. He also has a blog. “Bank of America, you’re making me so mad. I want to buy this house, really bad,” Williams sings in “Close This Loan,” a song modeled after “You’ve Got It Going On,” a tune from the HBO series “Flight of the Conchords.” “My credit score is 798. Don’t worry ’cause my payments will never be late,” Williams sings. He also tells the bank he wants a place for his cats and a garden gnome…Bank of America said Thursday evening the loan will close this time. “We apologize for the delay in closing Mr. Williams’ loan,” the bank said in a statement. “We are on target to close his loan [Friday]. For the inconvenience, we have provided him a credit at closing.”

Here’s what finally got them to come around:

Just something to think about.

Frustrated homebuyers on YouTube: ‘Close this loan’ Bank of America [AJC via BI]

25 comments (hidden to protect delicate sensibilities)
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Comments (25)

  1. Posted by dumb | December 21, 2011 at 1:13 PM

    He needs to make an RBS song

  2. Posted by Guest | December 21, 2011 at 1:15 PM

    In related news, Emma Lasry has announced the launch of her new residential mortgage consultancy.

  3. Posted by guest | December 21, 2011 at 1:17 PM

    He wouldn't have gotten that treatment with us.

    – Towergate

  4. Posted by Guest | December 21, 2011 at 1:21 PM

    Was this from the same record label that brought us the musical artist "UBS-EmDee" with the popular teen hit: "All I wanted was some cash to buy a new Stamford Home (but all I got for a bonus was a cat and a garden gnome) feat. Timbaland"?

    …just asking

  5. Posted by Your Associate | December 21, 2011 at 1:24 PM

    UBS-EmCee would have been funnier.

  6. Posted by Guest | December 21, 2011 at 1:24 PM

    Did you stay up all night thinking of that one?

  7. Posted by The Truth | December 21, 2011 at 1:30 PM

    He's got Columbia B School J-Term potential

  8. Posted by guest | December 21, 2011 at 1:33 PM

    What he doesn't understand is that we live in optimized world economy.

  9. Posted by I'm a Dude | December 21, 2011 at 1:36 PM

    packing up your house in Post Office Express Mail boxes is the NKI

  10. Posted by A&R Quant | December 21, 2011 at 1:45 PM

    [youtube aZrks-BPeLQ youtube]

    Taken together with: "Quiznos, struggling amid slumping sales and a recent violation of debt terms, reached a deal to hand ownership to Avenue Capital Group, the hedge fund controlled by billionaire Marc Lasry, the people said."

    Anyone else seeing the duet of the decade?

  11. Posted by geoffgeoffgeoff | December 21, 2011 at 1:51 PM

    That shit cray.

    -Kanye West, Throne Watching Quant

  12. Posted by Car Jumping Quant | December 21, 2011 at 1:57 PM

    Sorry, but for those interested in flying cars crashing through roofs…

  13. Posted by Cut Me | December 21, 2011 at 2:00 PM

    Next time you should deal with JPM.
    -Ikenna Njoku

  14. Posted by Mexi_Cant | December 21, 2011 at 2:14 PM

    My model is 65.4824% confident that the BaML mortgage broker is allergic to cats.

    -RBS Mortgage Quant

  15. Posted by ShortNaked | December 21, 2011 at 2:19 PM

    What she order? Fish Fil-A?

  16. Posted by 400 points | December 21, 2011 at 2:38 PM

    my credit is 400 and I have a $500,000 loan.

  17. Posted by Bugs | December 21, 2011 at 3:18 PM

    The garden gnome bears a striking resemblance to Ken – do you think he's grown a beard in his retirement?

  18. Posted by early_hominid | December 21, 2011 at 3:28 PM

    Waiting in limbo with my bimbo
    gimme my loan my arms akimbo
    waggin' my finger up in yo face
    I'll blow yo flabby ass out to space.
    Why y'all stall don't return my call
    Make me wait out in the hall.
    So bring this loan in, stop yo' moanin'
    Make me happy so I can go bonin'
    with my bimbo, garden gnome watching
    in the window. Like I give a shit
    your employees quit.
    just hire two more you dumb fuckwit.

  19. Posted by Guest | December 21, 2011 at 4:05 PM

    Try harder

  20. Posted by BessLevin | December 21, 2011 at 4:39 PM

    I love you.

  21. Posted by early_hominid | December 21, 2011 at 4:52 PM

    I am not worthy.

    *bows, scrapes, grovels, flagellates self and those in immediate vicinity (with mixed results)*

  22. Posted by wahoo | December 21, 2011 at 5:40 PM

    Luckiest man alive, right there.

  23. Posted by anomynous | December 21, 2011 at 5:52 PM

    Isn't that supposed to end with "Just bust a move" ?

  24. Posted by I'm a Dude | December 21, 2011 at 9:23 PM

    I'll be damned . been on this site from day one, never thought I'd live to see this day. Motherfuck.

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