Regular Dealbreaker readers know that we spend a lot of time around these parts having the CFA v. MBA debate. Which is most beneficial? Which is worth your time? Which has the highest NPV? Today brings a point in favor of the b-school track, courtesy of Columbia. While business school may offer more opportunities to get drunk, sleep with your fellow students, and take a break from the working world, it costs considerably more money than CFA books, requires you to go to class if you care about grades, and causes a considerable amount stress vis-à-vis going on interview and impressing potential employers. But what if we told you that there was a way to go to business school and not have to worry about all that? Would that be something you’d be interested? Would it tip the scales toward MBA in your mind? Enter, the Sponsored Student designation, wherein one’s employer pays for their schooling and keeps a job lined up for them at the end. A wildcard, if you will, in the CFA v. MBA debate. According to an informational video put together by a group of Columbia students, as a Sponsored, looking porn in class will be your “smallest transgression” (on the rare occasions you go to class), “drawing a picture of [your] dick” will be an acceptable answer on a leadership final, and “deep-diving” in someone else’s girl will count as your core competency. Let’s learn more.

Nuthin’ but a “J” Thang (I’m Sponsored) [YouTube]
Columbia Business School’s January term program [FW]

63 comments (hidden to protect delicate sensibilities)
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Comments (63)

  1. Posted by Texashedge | December 15, 2011 at 12:58 PM

    I do fondly recall in business school we had a "belted" six sigma guest come in for one of our cases. He couldn't get his power point to work and had to speak extemporaneously. The results were amusing, if contrary to the intended message.

    It's also possible I went to a shitty business school.

  2. Posted by InfiniteGuest | December 15, 2011 at 1:01 PM

    They should really do something about security on that campus.

  3. Posted by sme | December 15, 2011 at 1:08 PM

    these cbs-stern-sloan videos get better every year…thank you Final Cut Pro

  4. Posted by derp | December 15, 2011 at 1:11 PM

    Yao Ming Jersey? Come on bro…

  5. Posted by Gold Pass Admin | December 15, 2011 at 1:14 PM

    A Dealbreaker "Gold Pass" is required to see this comment.

  6. Posted by sme | December 15, 2011 at 1:16 PM

    he appears to be asian, "bro"…

  7. Posted by Karma | December 15, 2011 at 1:19 PM

    It would be funny to learn that their sponsorship was revoked after this terrible video.

  8. Posted by guest | December 15, 2011 at 1:21 PM

    Agree with the "so bad it's good" tag.

  9. Posted by Ski Bum Bro | December 15, 2011 at 1:26 PM

    Clearly they aren't balling that hard if they didn't mention their custom designed skis.

  10. Posted by derp | December 15, 2011 at 1:30 PM

    That's the joke, bro

  11. Posted by Sad Lee | December 15, 2011 at 1:30 PM

    Way to get sponsored MBAs killed kids. Or at least make the employers demand "nuttin but Hs' beeatch".
    Also – you kids were like in kindergarten when The Chronic dropped, yes?

  12. Posted by Guest | December 15, 2011 at 1:31 PM

    Do people who advertise on DB bother to read the commentary section?

    Moreover, what is the Click Through Rate/Success rate of the ads that are put on here?

  13. Posted by Dr_Zaius | December 15, 2011 at 1:33 PM

    and he was speaking another language, I'm pretty sure it was… Asian!

  14. Posted by Kegels123 | December 15, 2011 at 1:35 PM

    Daniela?! Is that you in the library?!

    -David Gray

  15. Posted by bonus denial quant | December 15, 2011 at 1:40 PM

    Today is my 47th birthday, and I could not be hating life any more, but upon viewing this video I can rest assured that younger women will always be easy pickings. I will never go lonely underestimating the lameness of generaton y and those younger.

  16. Posted by guest | December 15, 2011 at 1:48 PM

    Are you a douchebag?

    Moreover, are you considering killing yourself/can I suggest you do?

  17. Posted by HungryIntern | December 15, 2011 at 1:51 PM

    Not to point out the obvious, but those are not the guys that are being sponsored.

  18. Posted by Guest | December 15, 2011 at 2:02 PM

    Goggles lowered, poles planted in snow in front of me, feet strapped to Wagner custom skis with Dealbreaker reader Dura -jet high carbon base upgrade, peering over Corbets.

    Fuck you MBA/CFA Level 1…I'm going for the PSIA.

    -Marc Mezvinsky

  19. Posted by Guest | December 15, 2011 at 2:02 PM

    Chill, azn bro.

  20. Posted by PermaGuestII | December 15, 2011 at 2:09 PM

    Get off my lawn.

    -W. Kowalski

  21. Posted by Fixed Income | December 15, 2011 at 2:18 PM

    I've got thongs older than you.

    – L. Tilton

  22. Posted by Guest | December 15, 2011 at 2:19 PM

    Watched on mute, for some reason I REALLY hate the bow tie kid.

  23. Posted by Value Creator | December 15, 2011 at 2:32 PM

    Step 1) Attend top B-school that doesn't publish grades, rank or GPA
    2) ??????
    3) "Yes, I do believe I finished in the top 1/5/10% of my class, Ms. Recruiter!"

  24. Posted by I'm a Dude | December 15, 2011 at 2:34 PM

    dancing in front of a mini weber bbq grill is th NKI

  25. Posted by guest | December 15, 2011 at 2:39 PM

    dibs on the white chicks.

  26. Posted by Lex Steele | December 15, 2011 at 2:43 PM

    This reminds of a "movie" I made called "models behaving badly", which made my career.

  27. Posted by Cut Me | December 15, 2011 at 2:48 PM

    You're not ballin' hard 'til you've got custom waffles.
    -G. Hoelscher

  28. Posted by Yoda | December 15, 2011 at 2:50 PM

    So certain are you…

  29. Posted by Kid | December 15, 2011 at 2:54 PM


    – East Hills Elementary, '97

  30. Posted by Stern for life | December 15, 2011 at 2:54 PM

    Yeah kid looks like a dbag. I'd expect nothing less from those rich kids at CBS.

  31. Posted by CBS is the best | December 15, 2011 at 3:06 PM

    c'mon people the video is a joke! it's SUPPOSE to be a bad 90s rap video

  32. Posted by Nerdly von Nerdstein | December 15, 2011 at 3:15 PM

    Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand . . . we have one more in the "CFA" column.

  33. Posted by guest | December 15, 2011 at 3:31 PM

    "Of all exceptions, however, the Japanese were the greatest. The Japanese undermined any analysis of our classroom culture. All six of them sat in the front row and slept. Their heads rocked back and forth and on occasion fell over to one side, so that their cheeks ran parallel to the floor. So it was hard to argue that they were just listening with their eyes shut, as Japanese businessmen are inclined to do. The most charitable explanation for their apathy was that they could not understand English…… The Japanese were a protected species, and I think they knew it. Their homeland, as a result of its trade surpluses, was accumulating an enormous pile of dollars.

    – M. Lewis Salomon Bros class of '85

  34. Posted by Guest | December 15, 2011 at 4:16 PM

    Dancing on rocks by bowtie guy is the NKI

  35. Posted by The Truth | December 15, 2011 at 4:32 PM

    You're hired!

    – UBS HR

  36. Posted by PE Shop Founder | December 15, 2011 at 6:36 PM

    Only one's who could keep up were those Koreans. Tiny fucks. But they could seriously drink.

    -HBS Class of '87 Section F

  37. Posted by Guest | December 15, 2011 at 7:17 PM

    I am one of his classmates, and he is actually a nice, friendly down-to-earth guy. He is a talented kid with a really outgoing personality — and not a d-bag at all!

  38. Posted by Anonymous | December 15, 2011 at 7:37 PM

    You're fired.

  39. Posted by shut up | December 15, 2011 at 8:52 PM

    Well that's just great, Billy! Thanks for the update!

  40. Posted by legitbschool | December 15, 2011 at 8:54 PM

    my god…

  41. Posted by cbs | December 15, 2011 at 9:06 PM

    Me too, he's great.

  42. Posted by gust | December 15, 2011 at 9:57 PM

    I am one of his classmates, and he is actually an attention whore. He is a talented dance student with the attention span of a pomeranian puppy – and a huggggge douche.

  43. Posted by InfiniteSwag | December 15, 2011 at 11:43 PM

    What safety?

  44. Posted by InfiniteSwag | December 15, 2011 at 11:50 PM

    I meant security but I heard some kids got held up for iPhones recently

  45. Posted by youlittlelittle_minx | December 16, 2011 at 8:27 AM

    The only ‘wildcard’ is this article propping-up an unnamed CFA candidate who’s enchanced interrogation technique verbosity is deemed financial blogging!
    -The Dirty Competency Enforcer

  46. Posted by theRealTruth | December 16, 2011 at 11:45 AM

    Ads? Click-through rates? What Ads?
    In this day and age, only ignorant losers are NOT using full Ad Blockers. Why deal with annoying ads if you don’t have to?

  47. Posted by Guest | December 16, 2011 at 12:39 PM

    The kid in the bow tie is one of the hottest MBAs I have ever seen!

  48. Posted by Scholar | December 16, 2011 at 1:10 PM

    I am one of his classmates and I'd actually compare him to a mix between a dolphin, a lion and a British Vole. The very mention of the name is enough to strike terror into the heart. But most people have only a vague idea of the true nature of this secretive and deadly beast. The Dueche in a bowtie Appreciation Society aims to educate the masses about the ever-present threat of Bowtie insurgence and the terror that would await them under a Bowtie regime.

    Many people know of the Bowtie's work in Corfu and on the Greek mainland, but few know about their international expansion plans. The worldwide tunnel systems are now near joining up for a worldwide mass attack – and now they have linked up with the enforcement otter's crime syndicate, success is almost guaranteed.

    For centuries mankind's fate has been intertwined with the vast and mystical powers of the legendary Bowtie race. Voles first came to Earth in 1200 BC aboard space pod 735-B jettisoned from a passing space liner. It was voles who built the mighty pyramids, using their superior engineering prowess to create these massive structures in as little as three hours. Within these mighty shrines they entombed the last of the great cosmic vole space warrior princes who lead the vole army to victory over the hated Mongol hordes in northern Scandinavia in 1066 AD.

    In Ancient Rome, Bowtie advisors were responsible for Caesar's rise to power and his reign of a thousand years. Little did the people know that he was a mere puppet of the secretive 'Dark Vole' and his followers in the Temple of Eternal Vole Supremacy who had taken a vow of world domination. There is some evidence to suggest that Caesar himself was in fact a number of voles in a large suit with an electric head.

  49. Posted by cbs | December 16, 2011 at 1:23 PM

    hi zach :)

  50. Posted by terrible | December 16, 2011 at 2:17 PM

    Was that supposed to be witty? Christ, give it a rest. Your video sucked and you've embarassed your school, your classmates, and yourself. Broadcasting your monumental immaturity was a GREAT life decision.

  51. Posted by guest | December 17, 2011 at 2:29 AM


  52. Posted by John | December 21, 2011 at 2:13 PM

    Aren't most students sponsored? In my MBA class probably like 70% – 80% of the people there were sponsored. Speaking with people at other b-schools it seems to be case everywhere.

  53. Posted by mba 4 $$$ | December 27, 2011 at 4:18 PM

    Dude, in your exec program maybe…

  54. Posted by guest | December 27, 2011 at 7:57 PM

    Um, no. Not the case at all, particularly if you're attending any top 20 school

  55. Posted by guest | December 27, 2011 at 8:00 PM

    Are you retarded or do you just pretend to be in the comments section of the internet?

    Since I think it might be the former, I'll spell it out for you: no one needed to be told the video is supposed to be a joke. Everyone gets it. My god.

  56. Posted by young woman | February 27, 2012 at 10:04 AM

    PLEASE. unless you're rich, good-looking or incredibly charismatic (or the girl is desperate – which may be the case if she is older), most young women will not be interested…or will string you along for the attention/dinner/gifts….

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