• 15 Dec 2011 at 3:28 PM

Don’t Even Entertain The Thought Of Serving Jon Corzine With A Lawsuit While He’s On His Break

By Bess Levin

As you may have heard, today is Jon Corzine’s third day testifying in Washington about the whole MF Global thing. All morning and this afternoon have been devoted to questioning by the House Financial Services Committee, with a couple of the standard 15 minute recesses sprinkled in. In fact, there was one not too long ago. You know what Corzine uses his break time for?  Grabbing a snack. Shooting the breeze.  Taking a piss. Watching YouTube clips. Telling himself “You, got this, Jon,” in the bathroom mirror. You know what he doesn’t use it for? Being served with papers from some messenger boy on behalf of some jerk trying to sue him. Thinking about testing him on this? DO SO AT YOUR OWN RISK.

[via Clusterstock]

Comments (18)

  1. 1
    Posted by Guest | December 15, 2011 at 3:38 PM

    I suggest they try following this sequence next time:

    Liposuction
    Breast implants
    Nose job (twice; first one was botched)
    Ear pinning
    Eyes (not specified)
    Forehead lift
    Lip filler
    Lip surgery to repair botched filler job
    Tummy tuck
    Facelift
    Veneers
    Serve papers

  2. 2
    Posted by Markus Niku | December 15, 2011 at 3:40 PM

    pick up them papers jon!@!

  3. 3
    Posted by Guest | December 15, 2011 at 3:45 PM

    You just got effed in the a

  4. 4
    Posted by PermaGuestII | December 15, 2011 at 3:58 PM

    That's nothing.

    -Scottish dude without a train ticket

  5. 5
    Posted by hot chick quant | December 15, 2011 at 3:59 PM

    I simply cannot even begin to care about anything when Kayla is on television.

  6. 6
    Posted by guest | December 15, 2011 at 4:13 PM

    Funny, your comment makes it sound like you can't concentrate when Simon Hobbs is on television.

  7. 7
    Posted by Dr_Zaius | December 15, 2011 at 4:13 PM

    But the worst serving was here in the pelvic region. The road to recovery will be a long one.

  8. 8
    Posted by pineapple express | December 15, 2011 at 4:16 PM

    totally unoriginal. you have to entice the servee to accept the papers by appealing to their personal interests. in this case, i would have dressed as rehypothecated collateral to ensure there's no way corzine could miss me.

    -dale denton

  9. 9
    Posted by inlovewithpmco | December 15, 2011 at 4:25 PM

    attempt a quickie with PMCO, but get shut down

  10. 10
    Posted by Guy with A.D.D. | December 15, 2011 at 4:26 PM

    "We're going to need a bigger briefcase"

    -Corzine's attorney

  11. 11
    Posted by JT Marlin | December 15, 2011 at 4:27 PM

    He should have dressed up as an unsecured customer loan.

  12. 12
    Posted by sme | December 15, 2011 at 4:31 PM

    you got served…

  13. 13
    Posted by passiveaggressive | December 15, 2011 at 4:35 PM

    Next time have Terry Tate serve the papers.

  14. 14
    Posted by Jony cors | December 15, 2011 at 4:51 PM

    Grabbing a snack. Shooting the breeze. Taking a piss. Watching YouTube clips. ???

    More like checking a 1000 SP I'm working at at 1215.50 OCO MOC.

  15. 15
    Posted by Eric | December 15, 2011 at 6:23 PM

    Now go home home and get your f'in shinebox.

    -J. Corzine

  16. 16
    Posted by ReaganLaw | December 15, 2011 at 11:30 PM

    What he meant to say was:

    "Ah, fuck it let's not waste anyone's time. Dick Fold has the money."

  17. 17
    Posted by Guest | December 16, 2011 at 12:47 PM

    ECB now accepting serving papers as collateral

  18. 18
    Posted by BalgoDaryu | December 17, 2011 at 1:01 PM

    Amazing: Blagoevich wanted a favor got 20y in prison, Corzine had 1 billion disappear for which accounting he is responsible, and he will at most get questioned by some officials. Haha

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