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Goldman Sachs Will Recruit At Harvard When Goldman Sachs Feels Welcome

Several weeks back, emboldened with a thesaurus and having decided they’d had enough, the Harvard Crimson staff ran an impassioned editorial urging Occupy Wall Street protestors on campus to leave Goldman Sachs, and those hoping to gain employment with the firm, alone. It’d been a “group of Occupy Harvard Protesters who attempted to disrupt a Goldman Sachs recruiting event” that set them off and no longer could they hold their tongues. The newspaper took occupiers to task for “presenting a facile and trivializing interpretation of the root causes of the economic catastrophe and debases our national conversation on the issue,” for failing to comprehend that Goldman Sachs is going to hire employees regardless– and, god damn, it, they ought to be Harvard students–, and for just generally embarrassing themselves by “pitching a simplistic conception of the financial crisis and targeting fellow students [which] is not the way to have a successful movement.” Moving forward, the Crimsonians cautioned, “Occupy ought to refrain from such ill-conceived protests in the future.” But the die had already been cast.

Goldman Sachs canceled visits to Harvard and Brown University last week following a November incident where Occupy Harvard protesters attempted to enter a recruitment session…A session on Brown’s campus in Providence, Rhode Island, was scuttled hours before it was to begin, the Brown Daily Herald reported Dec. 5…A Dec. 8 Goldman Sachs recruiting visit to the Cambridge, Massachusetts-based university was canceled “due to proximity to the Reading Period and commencement of exams,” according to an e-mail obtained by Bloomberg News.

Right. Well when reading period is over, GS will still have Sandra Korn to contend with.

Students of the eight elite colleges composing the Ivy League in the northeastern U.S., such as Sandra Korn of Harvard and Tom Moore of Cornell, are criticizing their universities for sending high numbers of graduates to Wall Street, rather than to jobs that emphasize community service. Careers in financial and consulting firms are frequently presented as the best or only option, said Korn, a sophomore majoring in history of science and gender studies who participated in the Nov. 28 protest. “It’s kind of frustrating for students who think this is not the most ethical profession,” Korn, 19, said in a telephone interview. “When some people are making money by taking risks with other people’s lives and livelihoods, that’s detrimental to society.”

Anyway, don’t feel too bad, kids, Morgan Stanley is still open for business.

Morgan Stanley experienced some “peripheral” protest activity at an event at Yale in New Haven, Connecticut, last month, said Jeanmarie McFadden, a spokeswoman for the firm. “We have not changed our recruitment activities and we have not seen any impact on attendance,” she said.

Goldman, however, will need to be wooed. Start with another editorial and don’t be stingy on the compliments vis-à-vis asses you could bounce a quarter off and we’ll go from there.

Occupy Harvard Mars Recruiting by Goldman [Bloomberg]

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185 Responses to “Goldman Sachs Will Recruit At Harvard When Goldman Sachs Feels Welcome”

  1. Dr_Rosenrose says:

    Criticizing your school for sending grads to high-paying jobs (relative to other entry-level)?! Apparently beggars can be choosers.

  2. Guest says:

    Allowing one of the highest paying potential employers to be scared off from recruiting your students……WINNING!

  3. Sir Isaac Newton says:

    Ok, I know people who have studied "history" and I know people who have studied "science", but wtf is the "history of science"? Is this kind of like being a paralegal?

    • guest says:

      It depends, the difference between history of science major in Harvard and Pratt is whether you end up on Wall Street or Zuccotti Park

    • dasda says:

      I really can't stop liking this comment enough.

    • Time For New Brains says:

      I wish Wall Street would hire from any other institutions other than Ivy League schools. After fucking the financial system as we know it with alleged Ivy league intellectual capital I would think that our financial world would be better served by DeVry and New Mexico State University grads. I don't think they could do any worse.

  4. guest says:

    Gender studies is a major? ah to be in college again!

    -ping

  5. WCrasher says:

    What does gender studies entail and what job prospects are attainable form said major?

  6. Rami Hessler Co. says:

    Sandra sounds like a prime candidate for one our internship programs, hopefully she'll stop by our hiring events!

    -Empathy Table HR

  7. Peter Cratchit says:

    I for one welcome career counseling from someone who majors in history of science and gender studies.

  8. Mom and Dad says:

    Sandra, we think it's unethical to be wasting our money on those useless majors.

  9. Snake Oil says:

    "….said Korn, a sophomore majoring in history of science and gender studies who participated in the Nov. 28 protest."

    I'm speechless. Utterly speechless.

    -UBS marketable undergraduate major quant

  10. Excuse Me says:

    The UBS recruiting event is still taking place this afternoon as scheduled right?
    – worried Northeastern student

  11. Anon says:

    In 3 years, Ms. Korn will be protesting the fact that her $100,000 of student debt is impossible to pay off with a gender studies degree.

    • Spanishmoon says:

      True enough.

      But Goldman Sachs by then will have packaged all Gender Studies majors' student loans into a special CDO/SPV code-named "Shag Carpeting".

      This "shit" will then be sold to the CALSTERS pension fund, thus completing the circle of life.

  12. Chevy_Chased says:

    Sandra Korn's plan:

    1) Emphasize students taking jobs in community service
    2) ???
    3) not profit
    4) loss of funding for gender studies and history of science majors
    5) organize Harvard student to protest lack of financing
    6) loss of funding for SPCAH (student protesting capitalism at Harvard)
    7) embrace communism
    8) move to soviet russian
    9) in soviet russia gender studies you

    • bluto says:

      Don't worry….I will be leaving ms korn in front of her parents house in a shopping cart on Sunday morning.

  13. Whoops says:

    Meanwhile at Columbia, the protesters continue to have better hygiene than the applicants.

  14. Michelle Obama says:

    Don’t go into corporate America. You know, become teachers. Work for the community. Be social workers. Be a nurse. Move out of the money-making industry into the helping industry, then your salaries respond.

    • guest says:

      I love how you think the above constitutes something hilarious.

      • I know a guy says:

        More like batshit naive.

        • guest says:

          Yeah, it's horrible that people should want to be teachers. You should definitely shit all over them.

          • PermaGuestII says:

            "When schoolchildren start paying union dues, that’s when I’ll start representing the interests of schoolchildren." -Albert Shanker, United Federation of Teachers.

          • guest says:

            Great argument. You realize that he does not speak for all teachers everywhere, right? Just like not all Wall Streeters should be cast with the same brush, a point you yourself have made in comments several times.

          • PermaGuestII says:

            You realize Albert Shanker is dead, right?

            Read the last sentence of the original comment for context.

          • guest says:

            Not sure how the context of him being dead wildly changes the intention. Still seems as though the point you were trying to make was that (all!) teachers, like him, argue for their own interests before those of the students and will do so 'til they day they die. This, as I said, is a gross generalization, and you've been quick to (rightly) take people to task for making the same generalizations about people who work on Wall Street. I've enjoyed your comments in the past, but come off it, man. At least own it.

          • PermaGuestII says:

            It is a gross generalization, and that wasn't the point I was trying to make. I was quoting Shanker in the context of the sentence "Move out of the money-making industry into the helping industry, then your salaries respond." To me that appears to suggest you should move out of finance or whatever for personal financial motives: which is absurd. Being a teacher, imho, is on a level with being an artist or a minister or something. Your motive isn't (or shouldn't be) primarily monetary: you should derive some signficant personal fullfillment or satisfaction from it, otherwise you're in the wrong line of work.

            As for teachers themselves: I most certainly don't believe all *teachers* think like him (I'll reserve judgment about teacher's union bosses, though), since I know quite the opposite to be the case from personal experience that includes at least two former girlfriends, some college buddies and at least one close relative.

            Hope that clears something up. Would guess I probably get a shower of "dislikes" on this one.

          • some guy says:

            Hey, don't paint me from the same mold, here.

            – UBS Mixed Metaphor Quant

          • The Truth says:

            It's disgusting that this inspired 49 dislikes from the same people who lose their shit if someone from the media or off Wall Street suggest that a trader = a banker, or every single person on Wall Street was responsible for the financial crisis, and so on and so forth.

            -gainfully employed Wall Streeter who'd like his colleagues to be a tinge less hypocritical sometimes

          • Guest says:

            I think it's disgusting when people use words like disgusting and violent to describe things that annoy them in some way.

            Chicks shitting into each others mouths is disgusting. IEDs and prison fights are violent. Stop trying to sound so smart and important you dork.

          • guest says:

            It is retarded to spend $150,000 on an education to teach 10 year olds how to count and spell.

            Like it has been said before, why go to Harvard if you don't intend to pursue a career in law/finance/Wall Sreet.

          • guest says:

            Amazing point. Oh, except for the fact that there are some teachers who teach students above the elementary school level? High school teachers, college professors, med school instructors, things like that?

          • guest says:

            I hope you burn for your stupidity.

          • PermaGuestII says:

            $150k is a bargain.

            -NYC resident watching friends contemplate $36k/yr tuition bills for their kindergarteners

          • Whoops says:

            Fuck it, I'm moving to Canada.

          • CADTrader says:

            your not welcome here and if 150K tuition is too much for you in the USA consider that a private school education in Canada runs at about 50k/year + + +

          • Grammar, grammar says:

            Your a looser

          • Guest says:

            I think you mean "hoser", eh?

            -UBS Translation Quant

          • Winthorpe says:

            Spoken like someone who's entire gene pool never got closer to Harvard than this post…

  15. Put_Option says:

    Tom Moore definitely wears a scarf in 90 degree weather, hand-holds any time the opportunity presents itself, and owns a body pillow

    • Guest says:

      Own a copy of Love Actually

    • Guest says:

      Put_Option, I served with Tom Moore, I knew Tom Moore, Tom Moore was a friend of mine. Put_Option, you're no Tom Moore.

      -Lance Thompson, Occupy Cornell VP
      Cornell '12, BA Russian Literature

  16. Dr_Zaius says:

    "How does one make Goldman Sachs feel welcome? Please tell me!"

    – eager FSU undergrad

  17. PatrickBateman_ says:

    "I'm at a loss. He was part of that whole…'Harvard thing'… you know?"

    "What do you mean… Harvard thing?"

    "Well, I think for one that he was probably a closeted hipster…who did a lot of cocaine… that Harvard thing."

  18. Bernie Kornfeld says:

    Sandra, why did you shorten our family name; aren't you proud of me?
    — Dad

  19. FuuuGuy says:

    Evidently Sandra hasn't figured out where the money for teachers comes from…maybe she'll learn that in a liberal arts master's program.

  20. guest says:

    Why is it that the most unattractive girls seem to gravitate to gender studies ?

  21. LARRY says:

    Sandra Korn – Future doctorate of UNEMPLOYMENT

  22. Meatbone9 says:

    "Models help people. They make them feel good about themselves."

    "They also show them how to dress cool… "

    "…and wear their hair in interesting ways."

  23. Guest says:

    Perhaps playing hard to get will make the most elite Harvard undergrads want to work at the firm even more.

    – AIG Reverse Psychology Quant

  24. C. Gasparino says:

    This is why I didn't go to Harvard.

  25. early_hominid says:

    Wait, is "community service" also a form of punishment?

    — OWS Marketing

  26. Guest says:

    http://hpronline.org/author/sandra-korn/

    "Sandra writes for "The Left" at the Harvard Political Review. Her online column title does in fact reflect her political views. Among other things, she is interested in education and health care policy, feminism, environmentalism, and long walks on the beach. Like all cool Harvard students, Sandra is from New Jersey. She is currently involved in the Progressive Jewish Alliance and Student Labor Action Movement as well as other lovely leftist activities. In her free time, she enjoys baking things that involve chocolate, converting her friends to vegetarians, playing the cello in Harvard's Klezmer Band and Bach Society Orchestra, arguing about politics, and generally being happy. Her favorite HUHDS food is Wheatberries and Chives, with Rocky Road Brownies coming in a close second."

    • guest says:

      I just went limp

      – Peter North

    • Yakiddinme says:

      Reads like something from the Onion.

    • guest says:

      Fast forward twenty years:

      a) Women's studies professor at BC married to extremely unsatisfied man who takes his frustration out with long nights in the city and drinks with his assistant

      b) Teaching history of science in rural Texas, starting with the day God created Adam.

      c) Graduated into real world, realized that burning your bra only keeps you warm for so long, uses 4.0 in made-up major to attend second tier MBA program…???…profit!

      • guest says:

        C) pt 2) uses said MBA to land a consulting gig where she gets paid 250/yr to give powerpoints on Corporate Social Responsibility to execs who ignore her and use the time to respond to emails and bitch about how they should at least get a hot consultant for the money they are paying

  27. Guest says:

    Way to go Sandra, now the best of Harvard will work in the back office of BNY Mellon.

  28. cordell walker says:

    right up there with the MBA oath! go harvard!

  29. Curtiss says:

    You'd be surprised, but a lot of these protester types are really just there to work on their Mrs.

  30. Freak on Leash says:

    I saw Sandra in concert during the late 90s

  31. wahoo says:

    Goldman, I'm terribly sorry for my behavior. Want me to drag my sack across your face?

    – Glenn duP. Quagmire II
    Harvard '83

  32. Joe says:

    I love how OWS protesters turn to teaching as a job that is about helping. There are good teachers that make a difference, don’t get me wrong, but that somehow they aren’t getting paid very much? Please. Several of my high school teachers are making well over 70k and some even over 100k; and that is not after a lot of time in the program (5 years). Don’t believe me, look it up, there are tons that make that much…even grade school teachers are making that much. But of course they do it because they love the kids…yeah right, most of them are part of unions always asking for raises.

  33. History major says:

    If Ivy Leaguers in finance are so smart, why are 200,000 being laid off in the US financial industry?

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