• 05 Dec 2011 at 2:09 PM

If All Went According To Plan, Years Of Hard Work Were “Validated” This Weekend, If Ya Know What He Means

By Bess Levin

From: [redacted at large PE firm]
Sent: Thursday, December 01, 2011 2:18 PM
To: Associates
Subject: Models and Bottles (For real)

Fellow colleagues!

Finally life has been good to us. A close friend of mine, Matt happens to know a lot of women on the modeling circuit in Boston. Several of them have moved here from rural areas with starry-eyed dreams and the kind of naiveté we all pray for.

The best part is…we’re having a party at my place! Margaritas, Models and Madness! Please RSVP so I can talk you guys up and for suggestions refer linked video (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y7ZVEvxSR7g).

This Saturday is going to validate all the hard work we’ve put in over the years.

Cheers,

[Self-given nickname #1/nickname #2/nickname #3]

Comments (65)

  1. 1
    Posted by Casting Couch | December 5, 2011 at 2:13 PM

    Huzzah!

  2. 2
    Posted by Rats | December 5, 2011 at 2:18 PM

    fucking douche

  3. 3
    Posted by guessing | December 5, 2011 at 2:20 PM

    10 bucks said redacted ended up with no party guests, drank 2.5 margs himself, and passed after 3 minutes of JO&C'ing.

  4. 4
    Posted by Barney | December 5, 2011 at 2:21 PM

    Are they male models?

  5. 5
    Posted by Jay | December 5, 2011 at 2:21 PM

    When I saw the subject line, I thought it was excel models and water bottles.

    - (UBS) Quant

  6. 6
    Posted by guest | December 5, 2011 at 2:22 PM

    There is a modeling circuit in Boston?

  7. 7
    Posted by guest | December 5, 2011 at 2:22 PM

    That's a lot of extra starry eyes and naivete, given that a 'model' in Boston means nearly anybody who does not eat cheese fries for breakfast…

  8. 8
    Posted by tiredcleeshaydotcom | December 5, 2011 at 2:22 PM

    Also invited- jamaican bobsled team

  9. 9
    Posted by Alt_EST | December 5, 2011 at 2:23 PM

    In my 1st interview with Elite Boston, I was escorted quietly in to a room decorated with what could only be described as an "explosion of Red Sox paraphenalia."

    "Are you a woman?"

    "Yes," I answered quickly and not-so truthfully.

    "When can you start?"

  10. 10
    Posted by Markus Niko | December 5, 2011 at 2:23 PM

    this guy sounds cool i'd go

  11. 11
    Posted by Mexi_Cant | December 5, 2011 at 2:23 PM

    The way Amanda Drury looks today makes being unemployed completely worth it.

  12. 12
    Posted by Baron Rodgers | December 5, 2011 at 2:23 PM

    Boston modelling circuit?

    Also, there are tons of skinny chicks in Wisconsin.

  13. 13
    Posted by HungryIntern | December 5, 2011 at 2:24 PM

    Where the hell is the modeling circuit in Boston?

    ~From a guy who lives in Boston

  14. 14
    Posted by guest | December 5, 2011 at 2:25 PM

    1. Board a bus heading east from a flyover state. Fail to distinguish between Boston and New York, same diff.
    2. ???
    3. Supermodel stardom, infinite profit

  15. 15
    Posted by guest | December 5, 2011 at 2:26 PM

    Model in Boston is to Model in New York in the same way that PE in Boston is to PE in New York. So really, it's fitting…

  16. 16
    Posted by guest | December 5, 2011 at 2:28 PM

    Three nicknames? Really?

  17. 17
    Posted by trojan_ | December 5, 2011 at 2:28 PM

    modeling circuit in Boston = equities in Dallas

  18. 18
    Posted by guest | December 5, 2011 at 2:28 PM

    And was this 'friend Matt' also perhaps celebrating the recent completion of his Level 1 CFA exam?

  19. 19
    Posted by Guest | December 5, 2011 at 2:30 PM

    What is a Boston?

  20. 20
    Posted by PermaGuestII | December 5, 2011 at 2:31 PM

    L.L. Bean catalogue models != "models & bottles"

    -Guy who thinks a 2 a.m. closing hour is a joke

  21. 21
    Posted by Guest | December 5, 2011 at 2:32 PM

    Bess, at least one out of the three nicknames, please.

  22. 22
    Posted by Put_Option | December 5, 2011 at 2:33 PM

    Youz woodn't know a clazey broad is she took ah dump on ya head

    Tommy the Wire, CFA
    Jizz Dart Securities LP
    Pawtucket, RI

  23. 23
    Posted by Guest | December 5, 2011 at 2:35 PM

    They both passed out, spooning each other, after the third margarita

  24. 24
    Posted by quest | December 5, 2011 at 2:35 PM

    Well…… you know the rumor about chicks in Boston.

  25. 25
    Posted by guest | December 5, 2011 at 2:41 PM

    This email was a prank when someone left their computer un-attented. Everyone knows there isn't a modeling circuit in Boston.

  26. 26
    Posted by Commodore_64 | December 5, 2011 at 2:43 PM

    Is ‘Matt’ still selling speedos online?

  27. 27
    Posted by Afraid To Ask | December 5, 2011 at 2:45 PM

    Uh, no…

  28. 28
    Posted by Guest | December 5, 2011 at 2:45 PM

    [redacted at large PE firm] …is that you?

  29. 29
    Posted by Ted Mosby | December 5, 2011 at 2:46 PM

    I will do a lot of things to get laid. But I will NOT go to Boston.

  30. 30
    Posted by Mexi_Cant | December 5, 2011 at 2:46 PM

    Sigh, Mandy almost asked Boone about college football…half the country would have climaxed.

  31. 31
    Posted by Other Guest | December 5, 2011 at 2:47 PM

    Boston "modeling circuit" means "escort agency." And they love PE idiots.

  32. 32
    Posted by agreatdaytothink | December 5, 2011 at 2:49 PM

    I never sounded this douchey, even after completing an entire lap around the circuit.

    - Gronk

  33. 33
    Posted by Guest | December 5, 2011 at 2:50 PM

    What a loser!

    -[Redacted Penn Undergrad]

  34. 34
    Posted by guest | December 5, 2011 at 2:50 PM

    strong possibility … my advice to everyone here is to password protect your pc and lock your office … it's less fun than you imagine to end up on DB looking like a complete DB!

  35. 35
    Posted by guest | December 5, 2011 at 3:00 PM

    How were the margs 'n madness?

  36. 36
    Posted by tiredcleeshaydotcom | December 5, 2011 at 3:03 PM

    http://jezebel.com/5851340/the-real-housewives-of...

  37. 37
    Posted by Guest | December 5, 2011 at 3:05 PM

    Yea good one. How's cold calling doctors coming along these days?

    - TA/Advent/Bain etc.

  38. 38
    Posted by Guest | December 5, 2011 at 3:08 PM

    Everyone,

    This was a prank played at the office, please view it as such and stop judging the author (because technically he didn't even write it)

    Cheers

  39. 39
    Posted by guest | December 5, 2011 at 3:09 PM

    Okay, but only because you asked nicely, [redacted at large PE firm]'s mom.

  40. 40
    Posted by guest | December 5, 2011 at 3:10 PM

    completely fictional

  41. 41
    Posted by Guest | December 5, 2011 at 3:15 PM

    [Self-given nickname #1]: Why didn't you give me none of that nasty little hoochie-woochie you usually throw at me?
    Model #38: Oh, fuck you and your Irish curse, [Self-given nickname #1]. Like I'd waste my energy spreading my legs for that Tootsie Roll dick? So go home and give it a tug yourself.

  42. 42
    Posted by Menino | December 5, 2011 at 3:30 PM

    City in Massachusetts.

  43. 43
    Posted by AIG Quant | December 5, 2011 at 3:36 PM

    Cheers is a stupid fucking name.

  44. 44
    Posted by cs second lowell | December 5, 2011 at 3:37 PM

    does that mean i can take a dump on yur head ?

  45. 45
    Posted by Guest | December 5, 2011 at 3:39 PM

    Wait, when did Chung get back into private equity? Didn't that guy learn the first time about sending mass emails?

  46. 46
    Posted by Guest | December 5, 2011 at 3:43 PM

    As douchey as this is, good money there are a bunch of 27-year olds on the other end of this e-mail making a half million a year and that the girls at said party weren't terribly bad looking.

  47. 47
    Posted by Guest | December 5, 2011 at 3:46 PM

    Hey!

    - Sam Malone

  48. 48
    Posted by guest | December 5, 2011 at 3:55 PM

    Ooo, a whole half a million dollars?

  49. 49
    Posted by PermaGuestII | December 5, 2011 at 4:00 PM

    You've never been in Boston, have you?

  50. 50
    Posted by Guest | December 5, 2011 at 4:08 PM

    5 years out of college you didn't make that.

  51. 51
    Posted by Guest | December 5, 2011 at 4:17 PM

    I dunno I don't think being a twentysomething Associate at a brand name PE firm would be the worst thing in the world.

    And if you like that then how about UBS sucks?

  52. 52
    Posted by ChukG | December 5, 2011 at 4:56 PM

    ass douche

  53. 53
    Posted by PermaGuestII | December 5, 2011 at 5:24 PM

    There are about eight attractive women in Boston. Five of them are banging members of the Red Sox/Patriots/Bruins. The other three went to St. Grottlesex and won't talk to you unless your name is Lawrence Cabot Lowell Saltonstall IX.

  54. 54
    Posted by 2_Small_2_Bail | December 5, 2011 at 5:26 PM

    So you're saying there's a chance…

    -L Christmas

  55. 55
    Posted by Buyside Blue Blood | December 5, 2011 at 5:28 PM

    Hey! Can I get a "NTTAWWT?"

    -Lawrence Cabot Lowell Saltonstall IX, BainCap Vice President, Aspiring Walk On Patriots QB

  56. 56
    Posted by Problem Solver | December 5, 2011 at 5:41 PM

    Acela southbound a few weekends/year.

  57. 57
    Posted by Bing | December 5, 2011 at 5:50 PM

    modeling circuit in Boston = mt. holyoke, amherst and umass dropouts and or graduates w/o a job

    -guy who's been to Boston a few times

  58. 58
    Posted by guest | December 5, 2011 at 6:03 PM

    Actually, I did? But please continue projecting your own shortcomings onto an anonymous person on the internet you know nothing about?

  59. 59
    Posted by Guest | December 5, 2011 at 7:13 PM

    You answered that accusation with less conviction than Jerry Sandusky.

  60. 60
    Posted by Guest | December 5, 2011 at 7:14 PM

    Oh boy oh boy! I hope I score!!

  61. 61
    Posted by Guest | December 5, 2011 at 7:14 PM

    10 bucks, eh? Sounds like USC MD forgot to log in.

  62. 62
    Posted by George Frazier | December 5, 2011 at 8:55 PM

    There is no modeling circuit in Boston. There is a dog show so the confusion is understandable.

  63. 63
    Posted by Guest | December 5, 2011 at 9:56 PM

    Guys, this is a fucking joke. How do none of you realize that?

  64. 64
    Posted by smr | December 6, 2011 at 6:14 AM

    you can make anything real if you keep talking… investment banking anyone?

  65. 65
    Posted by antho | December 12, 2011 at 8:05 PM

    Is that email for real???… love the video link tho ! hahah

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