As some of you may recall, last year in an interview with the Finanacial Times, Bob Diamond revealed the secret to Barclays success: “a no-jerks policy on hiring, taken seriously from the top executive suites on down.” Unfortunately, despite a rigorous interview process, some pricks still slip through. Deadly serious about not having time for these types, Diamond said last week that he does not hesitate to can their asses, in some cases boxing up their belongings himself. And yet. The numbers quoted by The Enforcer seem suspiciously high.
The American-born chief executive of Barclays said he does not care how good people are at what they do, if they are not suitable, they will be asked to leave. Mr Diamond said if bankers act like ‘Prima Donnas’ or don’t get along with their colleagues they can work elsehwere. ‘You know what a jerk is when you see it,’ he said. ‘If we ever ignore the rule it always comes back to haunt us.’ So far he claims he’s ‘ditched 40 executives just for being jerks.’
not at all true. i worked for the worst person i ever met in my life there and the monster is still there. 17 direct reports left and several of us said this person was why on the exit interview.
dat uconn mba…
Bob: Well, the Jerk Store called, and they running out of you.
Ex BarCap Exec: What's the difference, you're the all time best seller.
Bob: Well I had sex with your wife, AND you're fired!
Did they can all the brits?
Look what you did ya little jerk!
-Uncle Frank
Unfortunately, despite a rigorous interview process, some pricks still slip through. This is why I'm taking the Syracuse case.
Catch me if you can Bob..I'm waiting for you
Jerk in operations
Maybe you were all jerks?
So no jerks, but what about jerk-offs?
Guy above Diamond's ear w/ blue shirt & gold: The gray hair says MD w/lots of clients; the posture says: who is this asshole from HR talking to me about how to treat first year analysts.
Fine Bob, I'll take my Opti-Grab somewhere else!
Is he any relation to Jamie Diamond over at JP Morgan?
Jesus, Bob. Enough already.
- Navin R. Johnson
We have found that a strict "no jerk" policy is bad for office morale.
- SEC HR Department
Pictured above: Diamond shakes out his jerk-pointing finger.
Hey Bob, fire yourself, or do they not have a no douche policy?
The etymology of "jerk" as a slang definition:
"Tedious and ineffectual person," 1935 (the lyric in "Big Rock Candy Mountain" apparently is "Where they hung the Turk [not jerk] that invented work"), Amer.Eng. carnival slang, of uncertain origin. Perhaps from jerkwater town (1878), where a steam locomotive crew had to take on boiler water from a trough or a creek because there was no water tank [Barnhart, OED]. This led 1890s to an adjectival use of jerk as "inferior, insignificant."
Jerk executive pricks ?
I am game !!!
anonymous 55-year-old female investment banker
this comment will be underappreciated
Yeah, well I slept with your wife!
interesting, US or UK?
Is Matt currently padding his first post's word count?
He got a new Thesauras for Hannukah.. I think he is planning on trying it out today.
I'm sorry to hear that.
I'd like to offer you a job if you're still working under some sort of "monster"
And that's the only thing I need is *this*. I don't need this or this. Just this ashtray… And this paddle game.
Golf clap
Yeah well the jerk store called and they're running out of you.
G Bonanza
we're in a tight spot
"he does not care how good people are at what they do"
Neither does the board, hence why Bob hasn't had a visit from the Bobs.
Cool story, bro. Good luck with the UBS interview.
No but his half-brother Lou was dynamite in Stand and Deliver.
Dear Google,
I've got a friend I'd like you to meet…
First my name is in the telephone book, now…it's on your ASS!!!
hey!
-Circle Jerk Trading
Its Jamie Dimon re re
You mean Matt isn't actually black? Why the "token-JCrew-Catalog-Black-Dude" photo when he joined the masthead?
- Guy who will no longer read Matt's posts on an "Affirmative Action Curve"
Bingo!
- Stansfield, at your service
Is anyone else curious why Diamond has a walkie talkie on his belt?
If anyone knows what a jerk looks, acts, and sounds like, it's Bob Diamond.
In other news, I'd like to introduce my new general counsel, Michael Bowe.
I'm going to go with that it's an old school wireless microphone.
I regret that it is wireless, and I cannot instruct you to hang yourself with it.
Obscure Jerk Related Reference: Ahh! You know, it's hard times. These fuckers, they gotta buy. I need, you know, I need dough like anyone.
- F. Rizzo
How many jerks does it take to slip through?
great "O'brother where art thou" reference
getting tired of the cool story bro guy…
Okay he is outa here Bob.
What about cunts ?
Can you work with a cunt ?
But how could bob fire himself?
In soviet Russian, cool story bro guy is tired of you!
Good post really nice!
He just fired the jerk security and now showing how it is done.
Does Jerk and complete coward, low life, non-producing idiot, fall under the same category (descriptive enough, ha ha)?…Because for God Sakes Wayne Kunow is still working there despite the fact that the entire IT department and most of the business cannot stand him. This man has produced no value to this firm since the day he started. I mean seriously get rid of that moron!!! He is useless!!!!
Couldn't agree more. Guy is a complete idiot!! Been working in banks for 20 years and he is by far the worst manager I have dealt with. Wayne, get over yourself, your nothing special!!
There are still a ton of jerks working in their NY office at BarCap. They would need to get rid of 25% of the MDs there to change the status. Some of the MDs are so full of themselves teams under them are only hanging on due to the economy. The most political outfit in the IB business. The employees that know what they are doing are laid off because the boss is worried about their job and if you are a former Lehman employee your days are still numbered there. Attitude is beyond those of Goldman and MS. Call it Jerk Central
Too bad Deutsche Bank doesn't have that policy. Or else the Behrman-ator would be out on the streets,
[youtube upU4Xjdgx8I http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=upU4Xjdgx8I youtube]
thats all i've got to say on the matter…