• 14 Dec 2011 at 1:13 PM

Is Bob Diamond Padding His Jerk-Firing Numbers?

As some of you may recall, last year in an interview with the Finanacial Times, Bob Diamond revealed the secret to Barclays success: “a no-jerks policy on hiring, taken seriously from the top executive suites on down.” Unfortunately, despite a rigorous interview process, some pricks still slip through. Deadly serious about not having time for these types, Diamond said last week that he does not hesitate to can their asses, in some cases boxing up their belongings himself. And yet. The numbers quoted by The Enforcer seem suspiciously high.

The American-born chief executive of Barclays said he does not care how good people are at what they do, if they are not suitable, they will be asked to leave. Mr Diamond said if bankers act like ‘Prima Donnas’ or don’t get along with their colleagues they can work elsehwere. ‘You know what a jerk is when you see it,’ he said. ‘If we ever ignore the rule it always comes back to haunt us.’ So far he claims he’s ‘ditched 40 executives just for being jerks.’

[Daily Mail]

126 comments (hidden to protect delicate sensibilities)
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Comments (126)

  1. Posted by James | December 14, 2011 at 1:19 PM

    not at all true. i worked for the worst person i ever met in my life there and the monster is still there. 17 direct reports left and several of us said this person was why on the exit interview.

  2. Posted by Markus Niku | December 14, 2011 at 1:22 PM

    dat uconn mba…

  3. Posted by agreatdaytothink | December 14, 2011 at 1:24 PM

    Bob: Well, the Jerk Store called, and they running out of you.

    Ex BarCap Exec: What's the difference, you're the all time best seller.

    Bob: Well I had sex with your wife, AND you're fired!

  4. Posted by Cut to the point | December 14, 2011 at 1:31 PM

    Did they can all the brits?

  5. Posted by guest | December 14, 2011 at 1:32 PM

    Look what you did ya little jerk!

    -Uncle Frank

  6. Posted by Gloria Allred | December 14, 2011 at 1:34 PM

    Unfortunately, despite a rigorous interview process, some pricks still slip through. This is why I'm taking the Syracuse case.

  7. Posted by Wannabe Jerk | December 14, 2011 at 1:39 PM

    Catch me if you can Bob..I'm waiting for you

    Jerk in operations

  8. Posted by Financial_Servicer | December 14, 2011 at 1:43 PM

    Maybe you were all jerks?

  9. Posted by Financial_Servicer | December 14, 2011 at 1:45 PM

    So no jerks, but what about jerk-offs?

  10. Posted by B2b MD | December 14, 2011 at 1:46 PM

    Guy above Diamond's ear w/ blue shirt & gold: The gray hair says MD w/lots of clients; the posture says: who is this asshole from HR talking to me about how to treat first year analysts.

  11. Posted by Whoops | December 14, 2011 at 1:46 PM

    Fine Bob, I'll take my Opti-Grab somewhere else!

  12. Posted by Guest | December 14, 2011 at 1:50 PM

    Is he any relation to Jamie Diamond over at JP Morgan?

  13. Posted by Dr_Zaius | December 14, 2011 at 1:52 PM

    Jesus, Bob. Enough already.

    – Navin R. Johnson

  14. Posted by RichardCripples | December 14, 2011 at 1:54 PM

    We have found that a strict "no jerk" policy is bad for office morale.

    – SEC HR Department

  15. Posted by Alt_EST | December 14, 2011 at 1:55 PM

    Pictured above: Diamond shakes out his jerk-pointing finger.

  16. Posted by inlovewithpmco | December 14, 2011 at 1:58 PM

    Hey Bob, fire yourself, or do they not have a no douche policy?

  17. Posted by The Jerk Briefer | December 14, 2011 at 2:01 PM

    The etymology of "jerk" as a slang definition:

    "Tedious and ineffectual person," 1935 (the lyric in "Big Rock Candy Mountain" apparently is "Where they hung the Turk [not jerk] that invented work"), Amer.Eng. carnival slang, of uncertain origin. Perhaps from jerkwater town (1878), where a steam locomotive crew had to take on boiler water from a trough or a creek because there was no water tank [Barnhart, OED]. This led 1890s to an adjectival use of jerk as "inferior, insignificant."

  18. Posted by guest | December 14, 2011 at 2:02 PM

    Jerk executive pricks ?

    I am game !!!

    anonymous 55-year-old female investment banker

  19. Posted by jerk | December 14, 2011 at 2:04 PM

    this comment will be underappreciated

  20. Posted by UBS Lacrosse Bro | December 14, 2011 at 2:07 PM

    Yeah, well I slept with your wife!

  21. Posted by was at barcap | December 14, 2011 at 2:09 PM

    interesting, US or UK?

  22. Posted by Guest | December 14, 2011 at 2:09 PM

    Is Matt currently padding his first post's word count?

  23. Posted by guest | December 14, 2011 at 2:12 PM

    He got a new Thesauras for Hannukah.. I think he is planning on trying it out today.

  24. Posted by Ping | December 14, 2011 at 2:13 PM

    I'm sorry to hear that.

    I'd like to offer you a job if you're still working under some sort of "monster"

  25. Posted by Guest | December 14, 2011 at 2:14 PM

    And that's the only thing I need is *this*. I don't need this or this. Just this ashtray… And this paddle game.

  26. Posted by David Gray - JPM | December 14, 2011 at 2:16 PM

    Golf clap

  27. Posted by Festivus Season | December 14, 2011 at 2:16 PM

    Yeah well the jerk store called and they're running out of you.

    G Bonanza

  28. Posted by Guest | December 14, 2011 at 2:19 PM

    we're in a tight spot

  29. Posted by Guest | December 14, 2011 at 2:31 PM

    "he does not care how good people are at what they do"

    Neither does the board, hence why Bob hasn't had a visit from the Bobs.

  30. Posted by Guest | December 14, 2011 at 2:33 PM

    Cool story, bro. Good luck with the UBS interview.

  31. Posted by Guest | December 14, 2011 at 2:47 PM

    No but his half-brother Lou was dynamite in Stand and Deliver.

  32. Posted by guest | December 14, 2011 at 2:49 PM

    Dear Google,

    I've got a friend I'd like you to meet…

  33. Posted by Name | December 14, 2011 at 3:01 PM

    First my name is in the telephone book, now…it's on your ASS!!!

  34. Posted by rSVP | December 14, 2011 at 3:05 PM


    -Circle Jerk Trading

  35. Posted by heyyyyyy | December 14, 2011 at 3:10 PM

    Its Jamie Dimon re re

  36. Posted by VonSloneker | December 14, 2011 at 3:26 PM

    You mean Matt isn't actually black? Why the "token-JCrew-Catalog-Black-Dude" photo when he joined the masthead?

    – Guy who will no longer read Matt's posts on an "Affirmative Action Curve"

  37. Posted by Lord Humongous | December 14, 2011 at 3:38 PM


    – Stansfield, at your service

  38. Posted by guest | December 14, 2011 at 3:49 PM

    Is anyone else curious why Diamond has a walkie talkie on his belt?

  39. Posted by former Barcap slave | December 14, 2011 at 3:56 PM

    If anyone knows what a jerk looks, acts, and sounds like, it's Bob Diamond.

  40. Posted by Bob D | December 14, 2011 at 4:02 PM

    In other news, I'd like to introduce my new general counsel, Michael Bowe.

  41. Posted by Guest | December 14, 2011 at 4:25 PM

    I'm going to go with that it's an old school wireless microphone.

    I regret that it is wireless, and I cannot instruct you to hang yourself with it.

  42. Posted by VonSloneker | December 14, 2011 at 4:28 PM

    Obscure Jerk Related Reference: Ahh! You know, it's hard times. These fuckers, they gotta buy. I need, you know, I need dough like anyone.

    – F. Rizzo

  43. Posted by AIG Puberty Quant | December 14, 2011 at 4:43 PM

    How many jerks does it take to slip through?

  44. Posted by nick | December 14, 2011 at 4:50 PM

    great "O'brother where art thou" reference

  45. Posted by Guy , guy | December 14, 2011 at 5:02 PM

    getting tired of the cool story bro guy…

  46. Posted by Assistant | December 14, 2011 at 5:12 PM

    Okay he is outa here Bob.

    What about cunts ?

    Can you work with a cunt ?

  47. Posted by Fick Duld | December 14, 2011 at 5:25 PM

    But how could bob fire himself?

  48. Posted by buysyde | December 15, 2011 at 12:26 AM

    In soviet Russian, cool story bro guy is tired of you!

  49. Posted by HFguy | December 15, 2011 at 8:41 AM

    He just fired the jerk security and now showing how it is done.

  50. Posted by John D | December 15, 2011 at 1:56 PM

    Does Jerk and complete coward, low life, non-producing idiot, fall under the same category (descriptive enough, ha ha)?…Because for God Sakes Wayne Kunow is still working there despite the fact that the entire IT department and most of the business cannot stand him. This man has produced no value to this firm since the day he started. I mean seriously get rid of that moron!!! He is useless!!!!

  51. Posted by NS3754 | December 16, 2011 at 6:56 PM

    Couldn't agree more. Guy is a complete idiot!! Been working in banks for 20 years and he is by far the worst manager I have dealt with. Wayne, get over yourself, your nothing special!!

  52. Posted by a nobody | January 9, 2012 at 5:53 PM

    There are still a ton of jerks working in their NY office at BarCap. They would need to get rid of 25% of the MDs there to change the status. Some of the MDs are so full of themselves teams under them are only hanging on due to the economy. The most political outfit in the IB business. The employees that know what they are doing are laid off because the boss is worried about their job and if you are a former Lehman employee your days are still numbered there. Attitude is beyond those of Goldman and MS. Call it Jerk Central

  53. Posted by Guest | February 9, 2012 at 4:54 PM

    Too bad Deutsche Bank doesn't have that policy. Or else the Behrman-ator would be out on the streets,

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