John Mack: If I Wasn’t A Banker, I Would Have Been A Women’s Shoe Salesman

As you may have heard, yesterday afternoon, Morgan Stanley held a little good-bye party for John Mack, who will step down as chairman at the end of the year. What are Mack’s plans for the retirement phase of his life? Will he sail around the world? Restore old cars? Work on his golf game? Take up fly fishing? Move back down to his native North Carolina? Teach a course on business at his alma mater, Duke University? While those would all be admirable pursuits, it’s not likely Mack will have the time for them. Because John Mack, you see, has his sights set on something bigger. The realization of a dream, if you will. The dream of selling women’s shoes.

According to someone who attended yesterday’s gathering, Mack “talked about how if he hadn’t been a banker, he would have wanted to be a women’s shoe salesman. He said he loves watching the fierce New York ladies trying on Manolo Blahniks at Bergdorf Goodman–and recommends that all men go there and just sit and watch– because ladies will just walk up to you and ask you for your opinion.” In fact: “Once he told a woman, ‘Those are the ones. Get them.’ And the manager came up to him and said ‘Can you come here every day??'” Apparently Mack told people that his retirement is going to include being “a part-time salesman in the women’s shoe department at Berdorf’s.” While it’s unclear if he’s officially applied for the job yet, it goes without saying we support this wholeheartedly. Sure, there’ll be some tough days when he wonders why he got into all this (particularly when a certain Treasury Secretary looking to settle a score shows up in drag and after making Mack run back and forth fetching twenty different pairs of shoes in three different sizes, declares “You know what? I think I’m going to buy these on Zappos- don’t want to pay the NYC sales tax”), but it’ll be worth it.

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121 Responses to “John Mack: If I Wasn’t A Banker, I Would Have Been A Women’s Shoe Salesman”

  1. Lisa Marie says:

    Now that's a sellside lateral move that I want to know about! Any interest in some light squared shares John?

  2. this one goes to 11 says:

    John Mack: Well, I suppose I could, uh, work in a shop of some kind, or… or do, uh, freelance, uh, selling of some sort of, uh, product. You know…
    Bergdorf: A salesman?
    John Mack: A salesman, like maybe in a, uh, haberdasher, or maybe like a, uh, um… a chapeau shop or something. You know, like, "Would you… what size do you wear, sir?" And then you answer me.
    Bergdorf: Uh… seven and a quarter.
    John Mack: "I think we have that." See, something like that I could do.
    Bergdorf: Yeah… you think you'd be happy doing something like-…
    John Mack: "No; we're all out. Do you wear black?" See, that sort of thing I think I could probably… muster up.
    Bergdorf: Do you think you'd be happy doing that?
    John Mack: Well, I don't know – wh-wh-… what're the hours?

  3. .Bo says:

    Rex Ryan, meet John Mack. You two should get along just fine.

  4. Dr_Zaius says:

    Lets' Rock.

    – Al Bundy

  5. Phil Purcell says:

    And he gets a grand send off because?

    -Phil Purcell

  6. UFO says:

    John, if you change your mind and want to start a new career in something more manly, say, losing a public office or blowing up futures brokerages, I can give you a few pointers. Call me.

    J Corzine

  7. Al Bundy says:

    Johnny, trust me, it's not all it's cracked up to be.

  8. Hadley V. Baxendale says:

    Retiring from MS to work at Payless Shoe Source is the NKI.

  9. inlovewithpmco says:

    Does that mean if Al Bundy was not a shoe salesman he would have run Morgan?

  10. still fighting hank says:

    but NYC doesn't have sales tax on clothing under $100

    -Mack's sales rebuttal coach

  11. Shecky Mack says:

    Did you hear about the former investment banker with a lisp who took a job as a woman's shoe salesman? He got fired the first day on the job when he said to a lady, "Allow me to look up your thize….."

  12. Guest says:

    Do they have boots in my size?

    -B. Quick

  13. Rex Ryan says:

    Ladies shoes? Call me.

  14. Guest says:

    And if his wife weren't a lady-who-lunches that's into buying those shoes, she'd be a Tarp banker…. oh wait…

  15. Too Big To Fit says:

    “Tell him to get fucked,” Mack said of Geithner. “I’m trying to sell some shoes.”

  16. Guest says:

    If I wasn't a banker, I would have been an adventurer who took an arrow in the knee.

  17. inlovewithpmco says:

    PMCO I bet he want s to sell you some FM heels

  18. L. Tilton says:

    Pretty sure all heels are CFM heels. Particularly stilettos.

  19. The Truth says:

    I had 4-1 on Intrade he'd travel the country doing Tony Shalhoub impressions

    • Buck Bundy says:

      Seriously? if anything, it'd be Steve Rhoades impressions. First off, he looks just like him. Second, its topical!

    • Buck Bundy says:

      Come on, if anything he'd be doing Steve Rhoades Impressions. He looks just like him, AND its topical!

  20. desksoda says:

    Cover your ears. You tell Mrs. Geithner to fucking blow me. I'm trying to convert an international shoe size.

  21. Guest says:

    leaving the company to sell fuck me boots is the NKI

  22. Throw me the shoe-horn thrice.


  23. None for you says:

    Awesome! Rejoins MS at $35 levers it to $68 and leaves when it hits around $16. Meanwhile collecting hundreds of millions in comp. My f'ing hero! Where are the shareholders yachts? By the way, he looks like a combo of the Soup Nazi and Monk.

  24. Guest says:

    Do they allow canolis in the break room at Bergdorf's? It is very important that he can win over his new colleagues with free canolis.

  25. Red Goose says:

    Mack is no heel! Sure, he might shank bad guys financially so you have to watch your tongue. As he laces up his career and bares his sole, will he meet a Greek lady and "Buster Brown"? Will he take off in a van's security and style? He might go out instep with other leaders of his day. If the shoe fits, wear it I say. If he toes the line people won't say he was a loafer. If he meets a cute chick he won't slipper a Mickey Finn. At his physical Doc Marten said, "Bend over.." but Mack replied, "Hey, remember you're no shoe in."

  26. guest says:

    He got the idea from Rex Ryan

  27. Okinawa says:

    Future Dealbreaker headline: "Bank of Tokyo-Mistubishi UFJ diversifies into designer shoes"

  28. adfda says:

    true MS is full of shoe and used car salesman… smells of deep country mall)

  29. Guest CFA says:

    Bergdorff HR: Mr. Mack, I understand you want to work in our renowned shoe department. Do you, by chance, carry a Discover card?
    Mack: Of course I do. I bought the company.
    Bergdorff HR: I'm sorry Mr. Mack, our customers don't want to interact with people with a Discover card. Perhaps you should contact Sears?

  30. Guest says:

    Mack has no idea

    – Lisa Falcone

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