Opening Bell: 12.14.11

Merkel Cabinet Backs Bank-Rescue Fund Revival (Bloomberg)
Chancellor Angela Merkel’s Cabinet backed plans to reactivate Germany’s bank-rescue fund to help bolster lenders facing insolvency and lessen the risk of a systemic financial meltdown as a result of the debt crisis. Ministers meeting in Berlin today agreed to boost the size of the fund to 480 billion euros ($626 billion) from 360 billion euros, according to the draft bill. The text waters down provisions in earlier drafts to force troubled banks to recapitalize. ‘It’s especially important to act preventively including when there is a latent danger” to the bank system, the bill said. The fund’s revival underscores the government’s aim to be ready should any bank face collapse during the debt crisis and to pre-empt contagion. These measures include state help if banks are unable to raise capital via private means, it said.

The maverick behind Merkel (Reuters)
Schaeuble, a 69-year old political veteran, has been confined to a wheelchair since being shot by a deranged man a week after German reunification. Long committed to the cause of European unity, he has heavily influenced Berlin’s response to the crisis. Some European insiders say he is perhaps the only politician capable of pushing Merkel, a risk-averse politician from ex-communist East Germany, to adopt the policies which may be needed to save the currency bloc.

Fed Stands Pat (WSJ)
Federal Reserve officials left their policy options open for 2012 but took no actions Tuesday and offered an economic assessment that was guardedly more upbeat but still marked by risks. Nine out of 10 Fed officials voted to keep the U.S. central bank’s easy-credit policies unchanged for the second meeting in a row in what was the last Federal Open Market Committee gathering of the year. It took place on Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke’s 58th birthday. Officials reiterated that short-term interest rates are likely to stay close to zero until mid-2013 at least. They said indicators pointed to some improvement in the U.S. jobs market.

CME Head Challenges Corzine’s Account in MF Hearing (WSJ)
CME Group Executive Chairman Terrence Duffy testified that a CME auditor learned of the shift of customer funds, and of Mr. Corzine’s knowledge of the move, from a senior MF Global official during a telephone call before the firm’s collapse. CME was a frontline regulator MF Global’s operations, including the futures side of the firm that holds customer cash.

Gingrich Surges to Wide Lead Over Romney (CNBC)
Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich has surged to a wide lead over Mitt Romney for the 2012 Republican nomination, but either leading candidates would face a daunting path in the general election against President Obama, according to a new NBC News/Wall Street Journal poll. The survey shows Mr. Gingrich backed by 40% of Republican voters, compared to 23% for former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney…Mr. Gingrich draws his strongest support from self-described conservatives and supporters of the Tea Party movement. Some 70% of Republican voters call themselves conservative, and 57% see the former Speaker that way, too. Just 29% of Republicans consider Mr. Romney conservative, the poll shows. Yet that strength in the nominating process, which begins with the Jan. 3 Iowa caucuses, masks Mr. Gingrich’s weakness with the broader electorate next November. The telephone survey of 1,000 voters, conducted Dec. 7-11, carries a margin for error of 3.1 percentage points. Americans view Mr. Gingrich unfavorably by a margin of 16 percentage points (24% positive, 40% negative); swing voters, who expressed openness to backing either party’s nominee in the general election, view Mr. Gingrich unfavorably by a 3 to 1 (16% positive, 48% negative). Mr. Romney also is viewed unfavorably by a plurality, with 32% expressing negative views and 24% positive.

Credit Agricole readies investment bank cuts (Reuters)
France’s Credit Agricole will unveil a fresh round of cutbacks in investment banking, including job cuts and country exits, as the lender ploughs ahead with a back-to-basics strategy sped up by the eurozone debt crisis. Union sources told Reuters the bank would detail the plan on Wednesday, with the French press predicting potential job cuts of between 2,000 to 2,500. The cuts would primarily hit its investment banking unit, which employs 13,000.

Female Banker Tells Oprah Getting Plastic Surgery Helped Her Career (HP)
“Not only did my romantic options explode [following liposuction, breast implants, two nose jobs, ear pinning, a forehead lift, lip filler, a tummy tuck, a facelift and veneers], but my career instantly shifted into a higher gear. I was suddenly being courted by senior partners, included in meetings with the CEOs and CFOs of current and prospective clients.”

Morgan Stanley Faces Fresh Troubles (WSJ)
Morgan Stanley has been forced to return about $700 million to investors in its flagship global real-estate fund and to slash fees to persuade them to stick with the firm after a lackluster performance by the fund group, according to people familiar with the matter. The moves enabled the Wall Street firm to win a crucial investor vote on the future of its $4.7 billion global-real-estate fund this month. A loss in the vote could have threatened Morgan Stanley’s entire private-equity real-estate investment business, which used to generate large profits before the financial crisis but has been dogged by poor returns in recent years.

Wall Street analyst gives Zynga a stinga (NYP)
Days before the San Francisco outfit’s initial public offering, one Wall Street firm yesterday advised investors to sell shares in Zynga. The unusual pre-IPO report from Sterne Agee’s Arvind Bhatia puts a “sell” rating on Zynga shares with a price target of $7. The company is expected to price shares between $8.50 and $10 after the closing bell tomorrow before it starts trading on Friday.

Venezuela Minister: OPEC Agrees to Limit Oil Output (Reuters)
The Organization of the Petroleum Exporting Countries agreed a new supply target of 30 million barrels daily, Venezuelan Oil Minister Rafael Ramirez said, roughly in line with current production. The agreement caps output for all 12 OPEC members for the first half of the year, keeping supply near 3-year highs—enough to rebuild lean global inventories. Higher supply from OPEC has kept a leash on oil prices which traded at $108 for Brent on Wednesday, down from a year-high $127 in April.

Scientists looking for Higgs Boson “God particle” & hoping to re-create the Big Bang (NYDN)
Two teams of researchers are searching for the subatomic particle known as the Higgs Boson inside the Large Haldron Collider, a 17-mile ring loaded with magnets and buried beneath Geneva, Switzerland. Physicists create a pair of hyperfast proton energy beams inside the $10 billion facility. The beams are violently crashed into one another — think an NFL helmet-to-helmet hit to the Nth power — in hopes of re-creating the Big Bang responsible for creating the universe. Which would, in turn, show unto them the “God particle.” It appears now that if the particle exists, it likely has a mass somewhere between 124 and 126 giga-electron volts…The European Organization for Nuclear Research acknowledged Tuesday that it’s too early “to make any conclusive statement on the existence or nonexistence of the Higgs.”

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Comments (37)

  1. Posted by guest | December 14, 2011 at 9:30 AM

    My romantic options didn't explode when I got my boob job.
    -Bill Gross

  2. Posted by Stephen Hawking | December 14, 2011 at 9:37 AM

    We have found evidence of the Lord himself, but MF Customer funds? DADT!

  3. Posted by C. Gasparino | December 14, 2011 at 9:39 AM

    Higgs Boson exists. He's a friend of mine.

  4. Posted by HungryIntern | December 14, 2011 at 9:56 AM

    Who the hell is Sterne Agee?

    ~JT Marlin

  5. Posted by BrotherLehman | December 14, 2011 at 10:06 AM

    "So, one day after I went through my 44th interview at the Investment Bank, I swiped my card. And it said: For Analysis, 10. For looks, 3."

    –Courtesy Marvin Hamlisch…

  6. Posted by Murtaugh | December 14, 2011 at 10:09 AM

    Yeah, well Detective Riggs is a friend of mine.

  7. Posted by NotFerNuthin' | December 14, 2011 at 10:22 AM

    When I look at that picture of Newt (and not trying to bring in too much politics), I can't help but to hear him say: "Who, me? . . . Ok, maybe I am the biggest dick in the world"

  8. Posted by McCain | December 14, 2011 at 10:25 AM

    This maverick wouldn't mind getting behind Merkel

  9. Posted by Cut Me | December 14, 2011 at 10:40 AM

    Gross!

  10. Posted by guest | December 14, 2011 at 10:41 AM

    Today is December 14th not 13th.

  11. Posted by VonSloneker | December 14, 2011 at 10:44 AM

    I'm too old for this shit…

  12. Posted by Alt_EST | December 14, 2011 at 10:46 AM

    Attention to detail FTW

  13. Posted by trojan_ | December 14, 2011 at 10:47 AM

    the face says "I promise fidelity to you America," but the hands say "this is where the nipple clamps go."

  14. Posted by VonSloneker | December 14, 2011 at 10:48 AM

    Text = After my surgeries I oozed confidence and my options, romantic and professional, "exploded."

    Subtext = After my surgeries people noticed I was trying really hard to attract male attention. When that attention came I used it to sleep (or tease) my way to the top.

    - Guy who thinks the only place worth reading is between the lines

  15. Posted by guest | December 14, 2011 at 10:56 AM

    Not bad for a "history of gender studies science" major

  16. Posted by Anno Domini | December 14, 2011 at 11:07 AM

    Is it 2012, or was that yesterday ?

    some heavy merry making at DB seems…

  17. Posted by Guest | December 14, 2011 at 11:13 AM

    Ear pinning?

    So now she can fit her head between someone's legs a bit better?

  18. Posted by PermaGuestII | December 14, 2011 at 11:16 AM

    Wolfgang Schaeubel = Dr. Strangelove

  19. Posted by InfiniteGuest | December 14, 2011 at 11:26 AM

    But you can't use them as handles anymore.

  20. Posted by UBS MD | December 14, 2011 at 11:38 AM

    Good call. I missed that.

  21. Posted by sebastian | December 14, 2011 at 12:35 PM

    Very interesting interview with Ron Paul on the Alex Jones Show:
    http://djia.tv/ron-paul/ron-paul-on-the-alex-jone…

  22. Posted by Guestest | December 14, 2011 at 12:45 PM

    "CME Group Executive Chairman Terrence Duffy testified that a CME auditor learned ……"
    Wait a minute, why isn't that CME auditor testifying? Lets hear that from the horse's mouth!

  23. Posted by FKApmco | December 14, 2011 at 12:51 PM

    1. Grab her by her hair (no doubt long blonde and luxurious with hair extensions)
    2. Use your thighs to apply a vise-like grip

    Problem solved, Infinite.

  24. Posted by The Late John Holmes | December 14, 2011 at 1:51 PM

    No, you're not.

  25. Posted by PermaGuestII | December 14, 2011 at 2:17 PM

    Just don't pull too hard on the extensions.

    -been there, done that

  26. Posted by Here at Pimco | December 14, 2011 at 2:23 PM

    Yes?

  27. Posted by Guest | December 14, 2011 at 2:32 PM

    True story/No Pimco

  28. Posted by Guestest | December 14, 2011 at 3:09 PM

    For women, Plastic surgery >> CFA > MBA.
    Is this some sort of gender discrimination that that avenue is not open to men?

  29. Posted by u kno who | December 14, 2011 at 3:10 PM

    Sarah Palin

  30. Posted by FKApmco | December 14, 2011 at 3:18 PM

    TMI, Perma. TMI

  31. Posted by PermaGuestII | December 14, 2011 at 3:43 PM

    I said nothing about the context in which I may have pulled said hair, now, did I? It may very well have been a perfectly innocent situation.

  32. Posted by FKApmco | December 14, 2011 at 3:53 PM

    No you didn't and yes it may have

    Oh look…a pig just flew by my office window.

  33. Posted by Rich Gas | December 14, 2011 at 4:08 PM

    Men who trade energy commodities have been putting rolled up tube socks in their pants for decades to attract attention. In 2002, after the El Paso guys were told to change their sock roll positioning "to the front", even they had some luck with the ladies.

  34. Posted by Big Al | December 14, 2011 at 4:17 PM

    I invented Higgs Boson

  35. Posted by Jimmy | December 14, 2011 at 7:18 PM

    "How old were you when you had the first procedure, and what got you started?

    I had been in a sexless marriage for several years. After I divorced, I had a relationship with a man who said callous things about my small breasts and generous thighs. I was 24."

    Did she marry a queer in High School?

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