Last Friday afternoon, while many a financial services employee was dealing with the fallout of receiving a bonus they did not believe to be commensurate with the work they put in for 2011, Bridgewater was dealing with a far weightier issue. The hedge fund had a thief in its ranks and said thief’s jig was up.

A Bridgeport woman who worked as a security guard in Westport was arrested Friday on a warrant for allegedly stealing from her workplace, police said. Katlyne Lauture, a former security guard at Bridgewater Associates, was spotted on camera in November taking an iPad out of an employee’s desk and then leaving the building, police said. Lauture, 25, was later found to have taken two additional iPads and an exercise video set, all valued at approximately $2,724, police said. She was charged with third-degree larceny and released after posting a $10,000 bond. She is due in court on Jan. 30.

As you can clearly see, this incident raises many, many questions. Chief among them being that, as a security guard, Lauture of all people would have known of cameras that watched employees’ every moves. Ergo, she couldn’t possibly have thought she’d get away with the thefts and in fact, was perhaps actively attempting to get noticed? But why? Was she hoping to catch Mentor Dalio’s eye, have him think to himself, “Look at the balls on this chick,” and get promoted to PM? Also:

– Three fully-loaded, top of the line iPads would have totaled, at most, $2,487. And yet the exercise DVDs brought Lauture’s haul to $2,724, meaning she stole at least more than $200 worth of videos and possibly as much as $600, assuming at least one of the iPad owners went with the $500 model?

– Who at Bridgewater is keeping workout videos– let alone a fetish-level volume of videos– at work?

– If she stole the tapes from multiple people, do Bridgewater employees do the routines together, after hours?

– Was this P90X?

– Is this woman dead to Ray, who holds truth and honesty above all else and who last year told the New Yorker that he’d embarked on an “intended weight-loss program“?

Ex-Westport Security Guard Charged With Theft [The Westport Daily]

171 comments (hidden to protect delicate sensibilities)
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Comments (171)

  1. Posted by VonSloneker | January 23, 2012 at 3:06 PM

    It wis maust likely the ixtinded cut of my video from the 80s.

    – Olivia Newton John (also not effraid of snikes)

  2. Posted by Nailz6 | January 23, 2012 at 3:20 PM

    P90x sucks, use Insanity.

    – Bill Gross, PIMCO Fitness

  3. Posted by The Truth | January 23, 2012 at 3:20 PM

    I take Asses of Steel very seriously too

    – J Gundlach

  4. Posted by @notdanloeb | January 23, 2012 at 3:21 PM

    The writing on this site is so lame. 'Was it P-90X?' uhhh no it was not p – 90 x

  5. Posted by Tony Horton | January 23, 2012 at 3:22 PM

    Push up here if you want to. I choose to do one.

  6. Posted by Alt_EST | January 23, 2012 at 3:23 PM

    Be the hyena, lose some weight you wildebeest.

  7. Posted by Guest | January 23, 2012 at 3:24 PM

    Who uses exercise tapes when they can just swim to work and catch their lunch in the parking lot?

    – Bridgewater Hydro commuting / sustenance quant

  8. Posted by Arnold | January 23, 2012 at 3:25 PM

    Yea, but how much can she bench?

  9. Posted by Tight End | January 23, 2012 at 3:26 PM

    Ray always liked his curves tight.

  10. Posted by Equinox Quant | January 23, 2012 at 3:31 PM

    251 pounds.

  11. Posted by pazzo83 | January 23, 2012 at 3:34 PM

    Exhibit A: your comment

  12. Posted by inlovewithpmco | January 23, 2012 at 3:35 PM

    PMCO what video do you use?

  13. Posted by PHimPCO | January 23, 2012 at 3:43 PM

    Worst comment of the month so far. I weep for your parents.

  14. Posted by the matriculator | January 23, 2012 at 3:45 PM

    Bridgewater hired a security guard that does not even hold up to a 20 second google search. That's why I don't work there. Give me my 100 bucks you cocksuckers!

  15. Posted by Concerned LP | January 23, 2012 at 3:46 PM

    Do they mark their positions like they mark their iPads?

  16. Posted by BessLevin | January 23, 2012 at 3:53 PM

    The multiple comments you've left asking people to follow you "on Twitter @NotDanLoeb," however, have been tremendous.

  17. Posted by guest | January 23, 2012 at 3:54 PM

    Sounds like someone is bitter you haven't promoted his utterly lame Twitter account…

  18. Posted by Fidel Cashflow | January 23, 2012 at 3:54 PM

    Bout tree fiddy

  19. Posted by Katlyne L. | January 23, 2012 at 3:54 PM

    I'm sorry I took your autographed copy of Richard Simmons: "Sweatin' to the Oldies".

  20. Posted by Guest | January 23, 2012 at 3:55 PM

    Get up there Peter Townshend!

    -Plyo X Quant

  21. Posted by Guest | January 23, 2012 at 3:58 PM

    Nice work Bess!

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  22. Posted by Beeks | January 23, 2012 at 4:00 PM

    Not an ordinary thief like the man Winthorpe had the guts to stand up to yesterday…no, this man is a hundered times lower.

  23. Posted by Confused Commenter | January 23, 2012 at 4:00 PM

    Furiously using ThighMaster while wearing suit pants.

  24. Posted by Abe_Froman_ | January 23, 2012 at 4:10 PM

    I was wondering where my shake weight went!

  25. Posted by Abe_Froman_ | January 23, 2012 at 4:11 PM

    or just bitter about his missing exercise video set

  26. Posted by guest | January 23, 2012 at 4:16 PM


  27. Posted by geoffgeoffgeoff | January 23, 2012 at 4:25 PM

    He looks so regal supporting that tree.

  28. Posted by guest | January 23, 2012 at 4:30 PM

    Please let the "I should have been a private investigator" tag get a lot of play this year.

  29. Posted by Ray | January 23, 2012 at 5:20 PM

    She may be a lousy security guard but I bet she aced her Bridgewater interview. You know, the one where two young, self-righteous assholes force interviewees to debate the ethics of animal testing on cosmetics and the raising of the driving age in order to reduce teenage car crashes; then shit on you because you didn’t defend your position strongly enough and/or defended it too strongly.
    I know that Bridgewater encourages its employees to provide unfiltered criticisms of each other so here’s one for you Ray… you may have a lot of money but you’re still a pompous jerk-off douche bag.

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    Guys who choose "PHimpPCO" as a handle shouldn't throw stones.

  32. Posted by guest | January 23, 2012 at 7:16 PM

    Interesting that you apparently have inside knowledge of what the video was, and are pissed off the above didn't get the detail correct…

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    Really, to a man that promotes charity by giving away his fortune you call him a douche bag? Sounds like you were rejected by them, with you spelling errors, sounds as if your jelous.

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