Bill Gross: Run For Your Lives

By

As astute followers of PIMCO chief Bill Gross know, the bond manager often uses metaphors to explain various market behavior in his monthly Investment Outlook letter. In the past, he’s told us about why US policy makers are basically praying mantises in that they’ll bite your head off after sex, why this country is a patient waiting for a heart transplant, and why Congress reminds him a lot of Pepé Le Pew. Gross has also taken the opportunity to sprinkle in little personal details, including his pajama preference, his hatred for automatic flushers, a story about the time he acted like a cheap prick to a waitress (“A Gross family legend!”), and, of course, his inability to love the body god gave him. Most recently, Bill used the space to warn people that 2012 will be the year the markets will make you feel like lost your fucking mind.

The New Normal as PIMCO and other economists would describe it was a world of muted western growth, high unemployment and relatively orderly delevering. Now we appear to be morphing into a world with much fatter tails, bordering on bimodal. It’s as if the Earth now has two moons instead of one and both are growing in size like a cancerous tumor that may threaten the financial tides, oceans and economic life as we have known it for the past half century. Welcome to 2012…Goodbye “Old Normal,” standby to redefine “New Normal,” and welcome to 2012’s “paranormal.”

Related, not everyone is a fan of BG’s latest piece, like this guy, who read the CliffsNotes on Reuters:

Towards The Paranormal [PIMCO]
Gross predicts “paranormal” market activity in 2012 [Reuters]

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Comments (74)

Older Comments
  1. 1
    Posted by pazzo83 | January 4, 2012 at 5:22 PM

    Gross writes for ZeroHedge now?

  2. 2
    Posted by A. Ventura | January 4, 2012 at 5:27 PM

    Gross is Matt? Matt is Einhorn?

  3. 3
    Posted by +1 | January 4, 2012 at 5:34 PM

    +1 is the NKI

  4. 4
    Posted by PermaGuestII | January 4, 2012 at 5:35 PM

    Two moons will cause twice the number of earthquakes.

    -D. Gartman

  5. 5
    Posted by derp | January 4, 2012 at 5:35 PM

    In order to restore faith in our financial markets, we must blow up the moon.

    -Ron Paul

  6. 6
    Posted by Bessemer Process | January 4, 2012 at 5:38 PM

    That other moon is my own.

    - Gundlach

  7. 7
    Posted by GuestAgain | January 4, 2012 at 5:48 PM

    Clearly they have drawers full of the good shit at PIMCO.

  8. 8
    Posted by cayce | January 4, 2012 at 5:54 PM

    Clearly BG is the new Miss Cleo

  9. 9
    Posted by Alan_Stanwyk | January 4, 2012 at 5:58 PM

    Alright, this is f-ing ridiculous. Not the useless talk about two moons and using the word 'paranormal' (who does this guy think he is, Matt), but the fact that guy has been able to walk around unharmed with that mustache and jacket since the 70's.
    Is it me or does he look like someone who the neighbors comment on during a news interview, "He was such a quiet man and pretty much kept to himself. We never thought that he was torturing all those hookers in the basement."

  10. 10
    Posted by C Walken CFA | January 4, 2012 at 5:59 PM

    Goodnight room
    Goodnight moon
    Goodnight Gross jumping over the fancy Japanese toilet

  11. 11
    Posted by Guest | January 4, 2012 at 6:03 PM

    Old Normal > New Normal > Paranormal > CFA

  12. 12
    Posted by HAM05 | January 4, 2012 at 6:08 PM

    thanks for another sleepless night, you prick.

    -melancholia gave me nightmares

  13. 13
    Posted by GuestAgain | January 4, 2012 at 6:20 PM

    Caaaaall meh now!

    - Guest who would absolutely work for Miss Cleo and blog about it

  14. 14
    Posted by Mercury | January 5, 2012 at 8:56 AM

    Despite the snappy, car salesman getup [[[[[I tell ya what I'm gonna do - I'm gonna talk to my boss. You're killing me here and I'm not gonna make a dime but the important thing is that you drive away with that car...]]]]] Gross is probably speaking the truth here (about the "new normal" that is, not the moon part). I mean…..the counter argument is what exactly?

  15. 15
    Posted by PIMCO/Tatooine | January 5, 2012 at 9:48 AM

    Bill- those are suns not moons you idiot!

  16. 16
    Posted by ATHF Relations | January 5, 2012 at 10:24 AM

    Ignignokt and Err Capital Management in response to Mr. Gross

    Ignignokt: Some would say that the Earth is our moon.
    Err: We're the moon.
    Ignignokt: But that would belittle the name of our moon, which is: The Moon.
    Err: Point is: we're at the center, not you.

  17. 17
    Posted by H Solo | January 5, 2012 at 12:58 PM

    Thats no moon.

  18. 18
    Posted by Uninvited guest | January 5, 2012 at 7:20 PM

    You're gonna like the way you look!

  19. 19
    Posted by Uninvited guest | January 5, 2012 at 7:23 PM

    Of course,that is,if you like that look.

  20. 20
    Posted by soso | January 5, 2012 at 8:51 PM

    >>that guy has been able to walk around unharmed with that mustache and jacket since the 70′s.
    A-a-a, I almost peed myself laughing!

  21. 21
    Posted by help with essay | January 6, 2012 at 5:08 AM

    Nice look whats wrong?

  22. 22
    Posted by guest | March 30, 2012 at 1:57 PM

    PIMCO is pulling this "new normal" since their first "fat tails" explanations in '08. calling it paranormal is just what BG has arrived after not being able to paint the picture any different.

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