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Bob Diamond Has The Home Phone Numbers Of 100,000 Kids Who Will Gladly Take Your Job For Half The Pay…Just Something To Keep In Mind

“We’re entering the year-end process of compensation reviews. I think it’s an open discussion during the year of how businesses and how individuals perform and now we’re just trying to execute on the balance that we all try and strike between being responsible and being competitive. I think people get it. I think industry compensation is down this year because the performance in the industry is down. So I think they get it…I think if we weren’t treating [top producers] fairly we would look at it objectively and try and get to the underlying causes, but I think everyone has a decision to make about what industry they want to work in or what firm they want to work for… Not everyone wants to be in this industry. But I’ll give you a statistic that is important. Last year, we had applications from 107,000 kids at university, of which we had positions for 1,500. So there’s still a lot of people who want to come into the financial services industry.” [Bloomberg TV]

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74 Responses to “Bob Diamond Has The Home Phone Numbers Of 100,000 Kids Who Will Gladly Take Your Job For Half The Pay…Just Something To Keep In Mind”

  1. Anon says:

    Then Obama should be able to fill Timmy's spot no problem.

  2. Beaker says:

    Oh yea Bob? I only have the phone number of one Jennifer Diamond whom I have many positions for.

    – 2nd year Analyst

  3. S.I. Weill says:

    No, that's the OKI.

  4. Mexi_Cant says:

    106,999…my ex-girlfriend sent my application as a prank.

  5. Guesty says:

    Do you see this Gorman? Is it that f*cking hard to be just a little bit subtle?

  6. Alt_EST says:

    I think people get it…I think they know they are absolutely not beautiful and unique snowflakes. I think people understand that they are, in every respect, completely interchangeable and replaceable. I think they know, deep down, that there is always going to be someone younger, hungrier, and cheaper. I believe that there are people who don't really want to be here, doing this nonsense 15, 16 hours a day, but stick around for that remote possibility of us compensating them appropriately. But I also think there are people who truly love this industry, and absolutely belong here. I guess we'll just have to see who wants it more.

  7. B2b MD says:

    Same speach I give to all the gals who want into the porn industry, but follow with…"so get on your knees"

    -Ron Jeremy

  8. Guestest says:

    For uniformity I'd suggest beginning the last two sentences also with "I think".

  9. spreadingawareness says:

    I'd take your job for a hundredth of half of what you make and twice the amount of abuse.

    -Foxconn MD

  10. Warburg Dinkus says:

    Fuck you, Bob.

  11. guest says:

    107,000 idiots! I had one interview out of b-school and I get paid in stock that actually appreciates in value

    -1st yr Caterpillar Inc analyst

  12. Back Crab Moussaka says:

    From yesterday's staff meeting:

    "Despite the fact that broker X chose to relocate to Dewey, Chatham, and Howe, we were able to retain 75% of his clients, so thanks to all those who helped out on that."

    Same sort of veiled threat.

  13. IgnorantBastards says:

    is being obnoxious despite the crappy year all the financials had the new NKI for a bank CEO?

  14. Barc client says:

    If what Bob says is true, and I have no reason to doubt it, can he explain why for the past 5 years has my sales coverage has been the same incoherent doofus? If there are 100K better folks out there, I guess I and the rest of this person's client list are just going to have to take it personally!

  15. Guest says:

    Is he counting the ones with the cover letters that start, To Whom it May Concern at <Company Name>?

  16. BrotherLehman says:

    Bob,

    what an astute observation. Oh, and look: one of my racehorses has probably taken a dump somewhere and the stableboy's on lunch break. Since I can fire your arse with the snap of a finger, be a good chap and fly out here with a pail and shovel and clean that mess up, will you?

    Cheers,
    Hamad bin Khalifa al Thani
    Emir of Qatar

  17. Real Talk says:

    I mean he's right though. The kids that come in from target programs are bitch-ass, milquetoasts. They saw that $0 and still woke up at 5 a.m. and took their asses to work.

  18. noname says:

    107k only?

  19. Guest says:

    By my calculation that means getting a job at Barclays automatically puts you in the 1.4% Sign me up!

    -UBS Quant

  20. Yes, I rounded says:

    1,500 to the 107,000:

    "We are the 1%. Suck it."

  21. FinneganKristiansen says:

    Wait… is he talking about janitor positions? Are these inner city kids with poor work ethic applying?

  22. Joe says:

    hollow point to base of his skull in order…

  23. HFguy says:

    But I’ll give you a statistic that is important. Last year, we had applications from 107,000 kids at university

    – Hey Bob D, I'll give you some statictics, 50% of the time when these kids are fucking without a condom, they are making new kids. So they aren't kids.

    • HRguy says:

      "50% of the time when these kids are fucking without a condom, they are making new kids. So they aren't kids"

      Hired!

      – UBS HR/Science Quant

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