Today is bonus communication day in BofA global markets and while there are no specifics to be had just yet, a couple things to note: 1) it’s not looking good and 2) this hurts them more than it hurts you.
“Pre-guidance was to expect bad news (zeroes for some). Still early in process but I saw one senior MD (trading group head) very upset and yelling after seeing the numbers he had to deliver.”
MD trading group head… Heh, he.
This never would have happened if Stanley O'Neal were still alive.
Trading group head for higher bonuses is not advised…unless filmed
-SEC
Que?
Glad you noticed my Academy Award winning performance so you don't blame me for not fighting for the group.
– Senior MD
Bess, where's the sirens/wedding bells for Barney Frank?
Dear BoAers,
Welcome to the 99%.
We are waiting for you.
Yes
Getting a ZERO is the NKI
It's B of A. They've always been in the 99%.
Are you sure that the aforementioned Senior MD was yelling because of the numbers he had to GIVE or the numbers he GOT?!?!?!
the latter. the numbers he got for himself…. 0
These pretzels….are TOO SALTY!
Pardone. For a hot minute, I tried to forget that BAC and MER are one.
:(
As long as you're home, your father wants you to do the dishes and take out the trash
-Your mom
P.S. and stop pestering those Wall St types online, you know they are sensitive
If the MD got 0, is it possible that the proletariat actually have to PAY BofA this year?
-AIG Risk Manager, Capital Insturments
This is hilarious. Am I the only buy-sider, hedge-funder who is getting an enormous kick out of seeing these poor sell-side pricks getting the air pricked out of their bloated chests.
-Hedge-Funder
We other buy-side guys are totally with you.
The buy-side is the NKI.
The Sell-Side is for the losers who could never make the cross over to it.
It's spelled merde. And yes, they are still one.
Citadel, with all your ego at play, it took you morons 4 years to get back to your high-water mark. Then how is it that you are feeling sorry for the sell-siders?
-LBO Artist
LBO = Let's Blow Out (my load!)
I'd rather bend over and have my ass spanked with a bat than get a zero.
- ML – 1st year S&T analyst
O.K. guys, I am in a very difficult situation. I have a very nice car, 2008 BMW Z4, which gets me compliments all the time. There is this incredibly hot girl at work that I like but I've never talked to her before, since I have nothing to talk to her about. I figured that I could use my car as an ice breaker since all girls love guys in nice cars. So anyways, my problem is that there isn't a lot of parking near my building and also that it’s hard to time it so that the girl can see me getting out of my car in the morning. I’ve tried driving to work a little bit early so that I can secure a parking spot but then I wait for the girl to walk by so that she can see me getting out of my car, but I always miss her. Maybe she goes in a different way or something lol but this has made me late for work a couple of times which is getting me in trouble. Also, sometimes when I try this, the parking spots are all taken which means that I have to park really far away and then walk to work which makes me late too. I don’t think I can be late anymore so I thought I should try to do this outside of work. I know that this girl does yoga sometimes at a nearby plaza which has plenty of parking and would give me a good opportunity to bump into her in my car. There Is an Ice cream shop next to the yoga place and I can say that I was getting some Ice cream. I don’t like to eat stuff in my car though, so would it be weird if I didn’t actually get any Ice cream – would the story still be believable? Also, would it be really sketchy if I bumped into her randomly at the yoga place?
You're not alone. Sitting here in Stamford and have tears streaming down my face every time I read a bank bonus story.
True. The E. Stanley O'Neal I knew would have given stock options that vested at $55. Granted the carrot was at the end of an impossibly long stick, but at least it made you stay until 4:15pm instead of cutting out at 4:02pm.
Would you rather have something inserted in the said ass?
Did you go to a top-tier college or one of those big state-schools
I sent you out 1 hr ago. Where's my fucking ice cream?
These guys should go work for Merrill Lynch….
I'd say roll up to the girl and say, "Hey Baby, do you know what BMW means. It means Be My Wife! Will you?"
AIG Risk Manager.
Is thy name Joe Cassano
Back office Asian trying to run game on the PWM slams. Humors.
when did a 2008 Z4 become a "very nice car"?!
get a maserati, maybe we can talk then
As you sow, so you will reap.
- A. Mozillo
Correction — as I sow, so you shall reap.
- J. Thain
Matt, check your browser settings. Your JDate login is getting it's wires crossed with Dealbreaker.
O'Neal is Paterno.
Paterno is O'Neal.
I know it's pathetic to remember a comment from three-four years ago. However, one of the best ever was a caption contest with Thain and Kenny L as they announced the merger. If memory serves, the commenter said:
KL: My bid is Twenty…
JT: Done!!
KL: …Nine
I have a comp structure you may be interested in.
– Ping
It's turning into a West Side Story gang fight here. Buy side vs sell side.
When your best performing trading group is marketmakers, it's a little difficult look down on the sell-side.
A think this post was like half a day too early. Numbers?
You meant ML – 1st year T&A analyst
What am I? Chopped fegato?!
A. Cribiore
I heard MLCI nums were "very good".
In a coverage group, If you get zero or anything close to it at the junior/mid-level that is a sign that your services are no longer needed.
Ok, back to regularly scheduled programming (thinly veiled racism and allusions to Warren Buffett's sexual proclivities).
Thought the expression ended with rape
- J. Epstein
CFA : MBA :: Buyside : Sellside
Good info, thanks
The paper read merde, black on black merde
bull fucking shit.
The only way BAC employees are making any money this year is if they buy $2.50 OTM calls
Or they just said they were "very good", using words only, and their mouth, And because I'm not 22 years old and don't lease a 3 series BMW, I didn't ask for a specific number.
Z4?!? Sure, you can use it to pick up other gay dudes.
Well at least they don't have the risk of losing talent due to the bonus payout.
Good effort, but you mean puts
VP who got $20K… not sure if that means the axe is near?
I think he meant Outs
Clown. For the record flows at most shops have sucked and opportunities to leave are much, much fewer than at almost any point I can recall in the last 5 years. This has equated into analyst comp (i.e. not a PM w/carry or profit share) getting pushed on hard. Now that is not the down 20-30% being seen at banks, but still, not a great world. So if you really do work at the Citadel, enjoy the next couple months. After that, fear for your job. Turnover there is a bitch.
Being older than 22 and not leasing a 3 series is the NKI.
Go to Breitbart's blog and other Rightwing sites that promotes love and peace.
Nothing but whistle blowers, hard blowers, screamers and conspiracy whacks.
Pack your fav ear plugs.
Maybe he meant a 2004 Z8?
Yes.
-guy who's been in the biz long enough to have worked on both sides
seriously???….vp got $20k????
Will someone please share Associate numbers?
10% – probably annualized though there is a chance it could be 20% annualized. Take away tax and you take a cool $3.5K home
50k
"… I try to buy stock in businesses that are so wonderful that an idiot can run them. Because sooner or later, one will."
Call it over than 25
-Classes of 2008 – 2012
quote fail.
In Investment banking? Which group in IB? Sure this isn't corp banking or portfolio mgmt?
Apparently they stopped teaching grammar after 2007.
I heard top first yr associates got 120K, pretty flat to last yr
at least the HF cats are still bringing in big bonuses http://www.wallstreetoasis.com/forums/insane-bonu...
Hahaha this is a new low… even for BofAML
The bonuses in foreign currency terms must be down at least 50% from mid-cycle (which we will never get back to). Talk about an industry re-rating….
MDs here in BAML in HK is getting paid a ton. Just shows that Chinese rule, even in an American bank.
Wow this company REALLY sucks