“People are furious.”
“Bonuses were communicated at CS yesterday. Total bloodbath. My class (first year associate, industry coverage, not stub) range was 20k to 100k (really). Mid bucket was 60k to 70k. Easy 30 to 40 percent below the Street. People are furious. Lots are expected to leave. Bonus was barely half of RBC. VPs and directors 10 to 20 percent below the street but associates took the biggest hits. We were told to expect the opposite.”
"where you gonna go?"
-gorman
Let them leave!
Join the club!
S. Hester
So the % decreases are only of those that got bonuses or in total? If the latter, then they faired better than they should of in such a volatile environment.
Kinda tough to sympathize with someone who got a 80K bonus instead of 100K, in this economy.
Mont Blanc
Ladies and Gentlemen,
Please turn off the lights when leaving….. there is always work at the post office…, wait, scratch that.
Peace Corps? Teach America? Red Cross? ahhh, Park Service…, errr how about we just take a walk out to the woodshed John…nice and easy, that's it.
MB
Dear Furious: time to jump ship. I recommend an email to Bob Diamond around 6.30pm EST on Feb 5th. You need to distinguish yourself from the other 106,999 resumes.
Doesn't sound too bad, really . . .
- C.S. CMBS Croup
Anyone else laugh when they read "Lots are expected to leave?"
They finally realized associates dont do anything.
Why don't we ever get S&T numbers here?
- guy who asks dumb questions
RBC is a PROFITABLE bank. I know it's hard to process.
Better than the swift kick in the pants and "thanks for coming don't let the door hit your ass on the way out" we got a few months ago.
- C.S. CMBS Group, II
EXECUTIVE NOTICE TO ALL DISGRUNTLED CS EMPLOYEES!
So bonuses were lower than expected? Are you tired of not making mad $$$? If you answered yes, then it's time to open up a boutique shop. That whole non-compete thing and garden leave business aren't binding nor are they enforced. So take your sell-side book and just buy a shell Broker/Dealer. Don't worry FINRA won't make you jump through 1000 hoops before registering you, and the principal who you thought was only going to stay on for a 1yr, well it may be more like 5.
But you are the boss. You make your own hours. Potential to make $$$$$$$$. Like fuck you money. Like enough money that people will automatically respect you, no matter how much of a cynical asshole you are. Its time to move up.
- HR JT Marlin
Furiously being furious while making some "mist."
RBC really paid out 100k+ to first years?
People are furious….furiously jacking off under their desks because high priced hookers are suddenly out of reach. Going from Eva the Supermodel Moldovan Dominatrix to Suki Suki at the massage parlor is the NKI.
Hey guys, me again — I reread my post from yesterday and I can see where some of you are coming from thinking I’m a dork or whatever, but I really am not and am actually pretty good with girls. To be clear, I could've slept with one of my associates and one of my directors, but I’m actually very picky when it comes to girls and the associate was only a 4 or 5. The director was hot, like an 8, but she was so senior so I didn’t want anything bad to happen to my job. I think that I’m decently good looking and I wear fitted shirts and stuff, so all that stuff is in check. But this girl at work is way hot; otherwise I wouldn’t usually fall for the girl so badly. I know many people said that my car is girly or for old moms or whatever, but maybe you don’t actually know what a BMW Z4 is, or you’re from the south or something. It’s a really hot car and I get compliments about it all the time and I know that if she saw me in it, she would be impressed. I just need to find a way to bump into her while I’m at my car. And no, this isn't Matt, or this comment would include a formula on how to get this girl lol.
They should bring in R. Lee Ermey to hand out the bonus checks every year and address any complaints the associates might have. Wall Street meets Full Metal Jacket.
Junior bankers = milquetoasts, all of em
Bore me once, shame on you. Bore me twice, go kill yourself.
Yeah, and for lax use of "Total bloodbath."
“People are furious.”
Hah, I give a shit.
B Dougan (photo caption)
"…and I know that if she saw me in it, she would be impressed. "
No. She will not.
I'd also throw in that you played quarterback in high school, then you're set.
Where do I begin. First of all, for the price of a Z4 you could've bought something far less gay. And that's pretty sick that you could have slept with your associate. Know what would really be cool? If you DID sleep with her. Certainly would have helped rationalize your fitted shirts purchases.
I should throw you out of a high-rise window solely for ending your comment with "lol."
You lax too?
Oh the humanity… Michael Andrews Bespoke is already laying people off b/c lots of CS associates are expected to leave
What the hell is a 4 or 5? I've always been under the impression that the only scale that mattered was 0 to 1?
It was okay.
- guy who gets sarcasm, but didn't really sense a plotline or point in the above.
Just called Per Se..
PRETENDED TO HAVE RECEPTION ISSUE WHEN THEY ANSWERED.
Your car is gay.
Do you live in the city?
Not bad, though I would have made the car a Miata and thrown in the term "slam piece". In that case I would give you a +1.
paging joke briefer or weirdness briefer or whoever can help me figure out how best to provide a witty but not overly debilitating response. Thanks in advance.
<3
There will always be another batch of know nothing Associates ready to join from upper to mid-tier bschools. Why pay these tools when you can have another class of Kellogg MBAs who worked at AT Kearney for two years after graduating with a 3.5 from Bucknell.
You've been commoditized. Fund your newly minted Roth IRA and GTFO.
Don't come anywhere near me or I'll call the cops.
- The Girl
This is my pitch book, there are many others like it but this one is mine.
The sheer thrill of providing a tip to DealBreaker should reward enough.
- CS MD
One day, I'll be able to understand people who go to work for failing banks out of undergrad/b-school and expect a bonus.
Exactly, no dicking around, "trading" or hustling people with bullshit deals.
Real bank.
should have started and ended with tldr
Posted yesterday under the first reponse here: http://dealbreaker.com/2012/01/bonus-watch-12-ban…
- Not the Joke Briefer but a fan of his work
kill yourself
So Like how hot are we talking?
Like Lynn Tilton, I'd hit it only because she's my boss and wants it? or like Daniela Rausnitz, I'd stalk her until I made it onto the front page of the news paper hot?
Think carefully because the answer to that question will lead to…
Sort of agree with MIT; 3.5is Z4 with M package is sick!
Busting your ass for that 4.0 GPA and those 100 hour weeks worked out well for ya, huh?
-your slacker C student roommate and barista extraordinaire
I need the Karma points so ride your Razor to work on Monday and have your friend (if you have one) call her extension directly and pretend to be a mechanic stating that your'e sweet BMW Z4 is ready. When she corrects the mechanic have him blame it on the receptionist and say he was trying to reach you.
Three words: Chase debit card
3.5? haha Bucknell is mid
She look like Miranda Kerr, but Jewish.
4.0 and they ended up at CS? Doing it wrong.
0 to 1, mate? It's not correlation; or the talent at a MIT undergrad recruiting event
If I was Credit Suisse, I wouldn't have even paid bonuses to associates. Associates add zero value, are easily replaceable and soon their jobs will be outsourced to India
so dumb
So where are you going to get VPs, directors and future MDs from moron. 90% of them started as associates.
not bad for associates
go bison
think folks in India have better options now
whats the range for A2 , A3 and VP1
I went from stagiaire (intern) to VP. True story.
- BSD at French Bank
It made it took it from slow and gay, to fast and gay.
See, you're approaching this at the wrong angle. Everyone knows that the size of the penis is inversely proportional to the quality of the car.
-1998 Civic Owner
Tu madre me la chupa mientras le meto un chile a tu hermana.
Some middle-aged Nebraskan insurance salesman would kill for those bonus numbers
well below the street? is it cause they're in stamford
Some middle-aged Nebraskan lives in Nebraska and not New York City. That's barely middle class here
To put in perspective my first year analyst bonus (out of undergrad) was in that $60-70 range, many, many moons ago. So feel good about yourself there guy. True story. Really bro, and all the other retorts.
Yes.
Flashdancers is still within reach….
boutiques and I am not saying all associates. Wake up and smell the roses Tu Madre and Joe Obama. There are so many people in the world getting an education these days that you have become commoditized. I can envisage the larger banks outsourcing tasks like the charts and data in sector reviews, modeling scenarios. You need something done, just jump onto skype and talk to the $1 per hour Indian team….hedge funds already do it and banks already outsource presentations. Truly smart guys are not joining IBs as associates anymore
classic
If I was a UBS banker, I would once again dust off the CV and this time downgrade to a job at a corporate. UBS bonuses = Credit Suisse's * 0.5
I remember my first day reading Dealbreaker too. I didn't get the comments section either
They changed (reduced) salary structure for IBD Associates fairly significantly… For Stub / ASO1 / ASO2 / ASO3, base salary used to be $100k / $125 / $150 / $175, and bump was paid in arrears to the beginning of the year, simultaneous with bonus payments on Feb 15th. Now, reduced structure is $100k / $120 / $140 / $160, but only effective April 1st and not in arrears.
It must be very hard to understand how anyone would ever work at a company like CS or RBS when that is the only job offers that they get out of school. That is unless you enjoy being 30yrs old and living with your parents.
Want to swap companies?
UBS Associate Banker
Does Starbucks still provide health insurance?
That "and" eluded you, I take it.
Can people stop commenting unless they have anything useful to contribute. ie. what was the bonus for A2, A3, A4 and VP1. DB commentary is so useless.
that would mean UBS MDs would have the B-est SDs.. that can't be right
Yo soy fiesta
Go to the corner for a time out and come back and ask nicely, pls. And while you are in the corner, i want you to contemplate if making sweepingly broad untrue comments makes you look petulant.
No.
are you a retard or do you just play one in the comment section of the internet?
You're not only a douchebag but an idiot. See the comment by CS IBD three above you? That's called actual, useful info (and there has been other decidedly not "useless" info in many other threads). And last I checked, people enjoy the comment section for comedic relief, not because they're some jerk off like yourself who is under the hilariously mistaken impression that he's going to read that someone got X and then go running into his boss's office to negotiate for more money (and something tells me you're also not in a position to be fielding offers from other firms).
Why don't you start? Oh, because you have nothing to share? That's what I thought.
bonus is for closers only
You do realize correlation isn't bounded by zero, don't you?
how are your riding skills…
Naming a bar after that one day
steak knives bitch, steak knives
Confirmed, though it was paid in loonies and toonies. Though even that's not looking too bad these days! Also, stock portion is only on the bonus amount over $100k or $150k (not sure) and only a third of the excess amount. Then again, Canadian banks are essentially like utilities.
… overpaid and still replacable
I don't know about all those confusing abbreviations but DVDA used to pay around $3000 per film…
But, is he trying to be ironical or just blowing the top off the unintentional comedy scale?
Wrong
Hmmmmmmm…….
Spoken like someone who has never experienced the "joys" of dealing with Indian outsource personnel.
-still having nightmares about the "top notch Hyderbad" firm he had to work with on a trading system upgrade at a previous employer
I have had all the those Audi models and the Dodge Viper but we don't call it "VP1", we call it as god intended: a Dodge Neon.
-UBS MD
Where do associates at botiques come from (hint: lots of laterals from BB)
No kidding. I get 3 calls a month from headhunters trying to place associates at boutiques. Sometimes for bucket shops but also for the evercores, centerviews, lazards of the world. Not saying its easy to convert into an offer but certainly isn't impossible if you are a top bucket BB associate
If they were looking for VP's and Directors to take the hit and not the lower ranked staff, you must be kidding. This will never happen on Wall Street.
Wow you're a total moron
But then again this explain why you are a 'former' analyst and have time to post this tripe.
shake shack
Hey Wells Fargo PWM,
You are supposed to turn into a "Former Analyst."
-Fmr Analyst who made it out in time
…because you're an associate in denial about how little value you add?
That looks like a nut sac.
Standards are going up all the time. It was only 10 years ago you could turn up to a bb job interview and ask the question 'what is modeling?' and still get the job
Good morning Joe and tu madre. I gather you spent all of your bonuses taking out your girlfriends last night? I hope you got laid out of it. Back to our conversation, I do feel sorry for you because you are now overworked commoditized entities that either have large college debts or your wealthy parents have high expectations for you. So here is some advice: a) if you are from outside the us, your skills would be far more valuable back home b) if you are American, spend a year trying to get into a pe shop (I can tell you are not smart enough for a hedge fund) and if that fails, go live on the west coast and get a job at a small private growing company
Why are you gay rickster?
A2 – $100-150, A3 – $130 – 170, no idea abt VP1 but hear many of them didn't get any
Thanks Anon
for someone who clearly doesn't understand how banking works, you sure have a lot of advice on the matter. thanks though.
Ass 3 bonus 15k (usd) > most associates and vp's were getting 5k to 15k bonuses. This was across the department, equity research, UK. Sales and trading bonuses were bad too but equity research got their ass totally nailed. We dumbfucks still turn up at 6:30 to write reports.
Equity Research–way below par AN1–0-10, AN2 0-15 AS1 1 0-25. If you are a headhunter come pick up talent for cheap–every associate at Credit Suisse will take your call–people are that pissed. Research unlike banking is a function where associates add all the value– constantly covering up for MD and VP fuck ups with clients on the phone through im, massing numbers to make MD/D's/VP's stock calls look amazing on paper knowing fully well that their picks never work, actually creating content. ….list goes on…this is not a photocopying/fetching coffee/ creating templated powerpoints job
Some Wall Street guys would kill to live in a 2,600sqft 6bdrm for $140,000 a couple miles from downtown.
Also stuffed with a 9-year deferred, complex instrument with underlying risky assets pooled from CS' battered balance sheet. Can ANYONE point out ANYBODYANYWHERE in banking that expects to spend the next nine years there ?
oh please, cry me a river. making $200+K all-in and peacing out by 7PM most nights (later during earnings) while getting tangible experience would hardly constitute "cheap labor" compared to IB with 80+ hour work weeks and countless nights working on mindless pitches.
You're a moron. HFs outsource marketing decks – it doesn't apply for deal-specific pitchbooks (ie. highly classified info that banks wouldn't want in the hands of a TP Indian firm).
Secondly, you just sound ike a dude bitter with the system in general. Wait, you're at Dartmouth now right?
3rd year Director in US. $250,000 base, ZERO bonus. Absolutely nada, nothing. Credit Suisse is a bunch of socialists! Brady Dougan made 70 MILLION when his deferred comp PIPS came due 3-4 years ago, OF COURSE he doesn't care about paying his people nothing.
The company bows to the government, pays their employees toxic assets, has all these little cliques of people all from the same country who take care of only their own.
DO NOT COME TO CREDIT SUISSE! You will be treated like a number, and you will never feel appreciated.
Be warned.
At CS? Numbers were lower than that.
You my friend have illustrated exactly what I meant. Most of us in research associates deserve 200K+ but we are lucky to even hit that level. Let me shine some light on dismal all in comp in
CS research:
1st year analyst: ~90-100K
2nd year analyst: ~110-120K
1st year associate: ~140-150K
2nd year associate: ~170-180K
3rd year associate: ~200-210K
In comparison your mindless 80+ hours will get you above 200K or close to it by the time you are a first year associate if not earlier. So relative to real content we produce we are sacrificial lambs at Credit Suisse.
vp2: 600k all in.
Crybabies, go drive a truck.
anyone knows when people are going to start jumping seats in the equity sales and trading ? or at least when the bonus hits the accounts?
yeah you guys got lucky that you have a job, expanding low cost locations like Poland are now priority for banks so watch out
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