Are you an asset manager looking to do some hiring? Have you interviewed a bunch of so-so candidates but have chosen to hold out for you dream employee, as unlikely as it might be that one person would possess all you desire? Does your list include:

1) A guy who will make you and your clients “$$$”

2) A CFA charterholder

3) Someone who is not just going to sit at his desk throwing the term socialist around but will actively do his part to get rid of the so-called socialists running the country, through his freelance writing gigs, mostly

4) An email address that makes a statement

…? Then your Christmas 2012 hath come early.

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Comments (57)

  1. Posted by Reality | January 3, 2012 at 12:10 PM

    "Tired of bing 'free'…"

    A bit too much Bing Crosby over the holidays?

    0% expected travel. Judging for you informative passage – I'd take a guess this is both forward and backward looking?

  2. Posted by Gassy | January 3, 2012 at 12:11 PM

    Corvettekid1969 is a friend of mine.

  3. Posted by joncorzine | January 3, 2012 at 12:11 PM

    get in line buddy

  4. Posted by Anonymous | January 3, 2012 at 12:15 PM

    He used to be a friend of mine, but then I took an arrow in the knee.

  5. Posted by I'm a Dude | January 3, 2012 at 12:16 PM

    Sell-side contacts = tight with the Jeffries callers

  6. Posted by Guest | January 3, 2012 at 12:21 PM

    This guy is already an Iron Eagle in my book.

    -Chappy and Associates

  7. Posted by Put_Option | January 3, 2012 at 12:27 PM

    If he had used Civickid1994, then that is something I could have worked with…

    - UBS Automotive Equity Research Analyst

  8. Posted by Denis Kneale | January 3, 2012 at 12:28 PM
  9. Posted by guest | January 3, 2012 at 12:31 PM

    I liked where you were heading for a second there, but your rant only lasted for less than a sentence. I think I'll pass.

    -Leon Cooperman

  10. Posted by guest | January 3, 2012 at 12:31 PM

    Email your resume we're growing like crazy here

    -WJB Capital HR

  11. Posted by Guest | January 3, 2012 at 12:36 PM

    This guy really is the fucking rake.

    - [Redacted Penn Undergrad]

  12. Posted by Cut Me | January 3, 2012 at 12:38 PM

    Shouldn't the deadline be 12/21/2012?

  13. Posted by max | January 3, 2012 at 12:40 PM

    Glad he's the Corvette Kid- because when everyone else said "No" there was only one saviour who prevented the Corvette from ceasing production for all time.

    His name is Barack Obama.

    Thanks for nothing, and to hell with those folks at the Bowling Green factory whose families aren't on food stamps.

  14. Posted by CoveredLong | January 3, 2012 at 12:41 PM

    1969….kid. Other than that, no concerns.

    -Freelance internet poster

  15. Posted by [email protected] | January 3, 2012 at 12:41 PM

    Nice touch with the "deadline".

  16. Posted by trojan_ | January 3, 2012 at 12:43 PM

    we should hang out.
    -r. santelli

  17. Posted by Skyrim Rulez | January 3, 2012 at 12:49 PM

    +1 for having the stones to insert a uber-nerdy Skyrim joke among this crowd.

  18. Posted by D-Funnk | January 3, 2012 at 12:49 PM
  19. Posted by c.d. | January 3, 2012 at 12:53 PM

    "Pristine regulatory and compliance record going back [..]" –> this guy could actually exist & be authentic..
    used 'CFA' as a noun: that's bad, but can be forgiven if apologizes to the institute, ie: submits appropriate filing $$$ fee.

  20. Posted by Guest | January 3, 2012 at 12:59 PM

    80'sKI: strapping a walkman to your thigh and stealing a fighter jet.

  21. Posted by gab | January 3, 2012 at 1:18 PM

    "freelance…, freelance…, freelance…" apparently his last employer used some good sense…

  22. Posted by Doug Masters | January 3, 2012 at 1:20 PM

    I killed 100 birds, once, with a Hades bomb.

  23. Posted by Vidiot | January 3, 2012 at 1:35 PM

    Minus 20 for invoking anything related to BF3 instead.

  24. Posted by Carl Spackler | January 3, 2012 at 1:55 PM

    Be Freud 3?

  25. Posted by U.S. Taxpayer | January 3, 2012 at 2:05 PM

    And here I never got a thank you card for TARP

  26. Posted by Doug Masters | January 3, 2012 at 2:10 PM

    As the walkman plays One Vision by Queen

  27. Posted by Kegels123 | January 3, 2012 at 2:12 PM

    Nice job violating the CFA Institute Code & Standards there with the improper use of the CFA designation. Even I knew that.

    -Matt

  28. Posted by PermaGuestII | January 3, 2012 at 2:26 PM
  29. Posted by Nailz6 | January 3, 2012 at 2:47 PM

    Won't violate the CFA Code, but if you've got some insider info, send it his way.

  30. Posted by Bilal | January 3, 2012 at 2:51 PM

    Quite 'diversified' Roles with the addition of being Journalist & Sales person! Probably calling himself a 'kid' as he's violated standard 7.

  31. Posted by Cut Me | January 3, 2012 at 2:57 PM
  32. Posted by sylent | January 3, 2012 at 3:07 PM

    My hypocrisy only goes so far. If I get this right when Obama does something right you get the credit. When he does something wrong he gets the blame. Go figures! When people like me start getting annoyed with the pilling on … there is a good chance he is getting re-elected.
    -An actual member of the 1%.

  33. Posted by Guest CFA | January 3, 2012 at 3:17 PM

    Yea I took the restrictor plate off to give the Red Dragon a little more juice.

  34. Posted by investorcluzo | January 3, 2012 at 3:26 PM

    "freelance writing" and "freelance money-managing" – sounds like this kid keeps a diary of how he stayed solvent by transfering his CapitalOne card balance to AllyBank.

  35. Posted by DingALing | January 3, 2012 at 3:52 PM

    What the fuck are you guys talking about?

  36. Posted by I know a guy | January 3, 2012 at 3:57 PM

    Go figures!
    When people like me start getting annoyed with the pilling on …
    -An actual member of the 1%.

    You need to take yourself more seriously, Francis

  37. Posted by Wire | January 3, 2012 at 4:19 PM

    Doesn't everyone with a Bloomberg have access to sell-side research?

  38. Posted by PermaGuestII | January 3, 2012 at 4:42 PM

    Dungeons & Dragons v9.5

  39. Posted by Bitchtern | January 3, 2012 at 4:56 PM

    I love you all. Thank you.

  40. Posted by Guest | January 3, 2012 at 4:57 PM

    Is that you Sylvester?

  41. Posted by VonSloneker | January 3, 2012 at 5:01 PM

    If I catch any of you guys in my stuff, I'll kill you.
    And I don't like nobody touching me. Any of you homos touch me, and I'll kill you.

    - Francis, SVP EM50 Project

  42. Posted by Alan_Stanwyk | January 3, 2012 at 5:08 PM

    What would ya say…ya do here?
    - Last conversation that Corvettekid1969 had with an employer (1999)

  43. Posted by Balls Mahoney | January 3, 2012 at 5:08 PM

    Someone doesnt have a Bloomberg :-(

  44. Posted by gab | January 3, 2012 at 5:12 PM

    "Freelance" is just another word, for nothing left to lose…

  45. Posted by M. Sanchez | January 3, 2012 at 5:55 PM
  46. Posted by guest | January 3, 2012 at 6:37 PM

    no this guy is on! he fucked the market in the ass while his santorum surges out of the markets ass. and leaves a great dirty sanchez in its wake. why does a ball buster like that need bloomberg for that?

  47. Posted by adn | January 3, 2012 at 6:41 PM

    whoa there bud, freelance is the same as "historical consultant" (freddie mac), or "financial board consultant" (bain capital), or even like anal spooge (santorum). dont knock freelance unless your ready to knock the bulls balls like the "rickster" is prepared to do when he free the socialists of there power in the wh.

  48. Posted by Max | January 3, 2012 at 7:08 PM

    The US taxpayer has paid for far more egregious purposes- like the wholesale slaughter thousands of Iraqis, and the displacement of millions more. I don't care what it costs- there is a value beyond money in keeping the dignity of hundreds of thousands of US workers and their families, and avoiding the blowout of the entire industrial Midwest- or whats left of it.

    In the meantime, those saved jobs pay for themselves in income taxes paid, social security funded, communities kept whole, and having those people support themselves through their work is far better than the rest of us supporting them with unemployment benefits.

    WTF happened to this country that all some people give a crap about is taxes while everyone else's life can go to hell?

  49. Posted by FinneganKristiansen | January 3, 2012 at 9:18 PM

    Well said.

  50. Posted by guest | January 4, 2012 at 4:31 AM

    you're confused about every factual part of that, but the sentiment is well taken.

  51. Posted by DeltaStrafer | January 4, 2012 at 8:46 AM

    jersey? is that you?

  52. Posted by VonSloneker | January 4, 2012 at 9:26 AM

    While I sympathize with elements, you shouldn't get all revved up about what others "give a crap about." In the end we'll get what is right for society as a whole.

    - Adam Smith, Managing Director
    Invisible Hand Partners, LP

  53. Posted by max | January 4, 2012 at 10:02 AM

    I havent confused anything- every day some locality gives a tax break to a business to keep jobs in their community but no one screams "Bailout!"

    My sentiments are based on human concerns- whats YOUR problem?

  54. Posted by max | January 4, 2012 at 10:03 AM

    The invisible hand theory is quite dead- if you don't know that by now…….

  55. Posted by VonSloneker | January 4, 2012 at 10:50 AM

    I'm not quite dead. I think I'll go for a walk…

    Despite the contretemps of the past decade or so, the global standard of living says different. Even our recent daisy chain of crises are, long run, in our best interest.

    - The Ghost of Adam Smith

  56. Posted by max | January 4, 2012 at 12:34 PM

    Yeah, I know- 40 to 1 leverage will teach us all a lesson we need to learn.

    Dope….

  57. Posted by VonSloneker | January 5, 2012 at 5:16 PM

    My point exactly…the lesson is that the entire system needed to delever. Which it is in the process of doing. I think you need a better than Cliff's Notes understanding of Adam Smith.

    Dilettante…