As you may have heard, last week brought the annual World Economic Forum to Davos Switzerland. Besides one very important economist attending several very important meetings, this year felt a bit dull compared to previous ones, wherein the groundwork for major deals was laid,  love-children conceived. 2012, it seemed, was the year nothing really noteworthy or “big” happened. OR SO WE THOUGHT. Then this bombshell dropped. And everything changed. Because the truth was out.

Chauffeured black Audis, armored limousines and a fleet of shuttle vans crunched to a halt in the streets of Davos as a record number of financiers, corporate bosses and politicians struggled to navigate through five feet of Swiss Alpine snow last week, the second-most in 66 years.

My god. What must that have been like?

More than 2,600 participants of the 42nd World Economic Forum, 1,000 journalists and 13,000 residents forged their way through narrow roads that resembled St. Moritz’s natural-ice bobsled run.

NO.

The traffic looked more like that in the Lincoln Tunnel, which links New York and New Jersey.

OKAY STOP. I have actual chills, on my spine, right now. But please, continue. It’s hard but we need to hear it.

Congestion was so heavy a taxi took almost 40 minutes the night of Jan. 26 to get from the conference’s Congress Centre to the Morosani Posthotel, where Coca-Cola Co. (KO) was holding a reception, a distance of 1.3 kilometers (0.8 miles) or about an 18-minute walk.

This must be what it’s like living in a third world country.

At about 8 p.m. on Jan. 25, a diner at Da Damiano restaurant, across from the Congress Centre, was told a taxi wouldn’t be available for at least 90 minutes.

Outrageous and, frankly, inconceivable. Just tell me the conditions didn’t mess with anyone’s plans to wear totally appropriate footwear while visiting a city in the Swiss Alps, in January.

Norway’s Crown Princess Mette-Marit slipped in front of the Belvedere at about 8 p.m. on Jan. 26 and was caught by a bodyguard as she tried to make her way through the snow in four-inch heels.

Okay, heard enough. Someone needs to be held accountable.

“In Boston, this would be illegal,” Peter Diamond, the Nobel laureate economist from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, said as he walked along the Promenade, whose sidewalks were covered with as much as 6 inches of ice.

That’s right. Lawyer the fuck up, snow. We’ll see your asses in court.

Davos Choked by Audis Stuck in Heavy Snow

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Comments (19)

  1. Posted by Dumb and Dumber | January 30, 2012 at 8:42 PM

    Someone's working late.

  2. Posted by guestapo | January 30, 2012 at 8:45 PM

    great contribution.

  3. Posted by guest | January 30, 2012 at 8:48 PM

    Brava, Bess! The horror, the horror. By the way, Peter Diamond's vag sounds twice as large as Princess Mette-Marit's.

  4. Posted by guest | January 30, 2012 at 8:51 PM

    you?

  5. Posted by guest | January 30, 2012 at 8:52 PM

    2600 participants and 1000 journalists? Seems like we need to get some more journalists in there, STAT

  6. Posted by Wall St. Dude | January 30, 2012 at 9:03 PM

    This has to be one of the best dealbreaker posts I've seen. I'm laughing my ass off

  7. Posted by gselevator | January 31, 2012 at 7:52 AM

    Wet socks are my own personal Katrina.

  8. Posted by guest | January 31, 2012 at 8:26 AM

    QUATROOOOOOO!!!

  9. Posted by VonSloneker | January 31, 2012 at 9:32 AM

    In Boston the ice wouldn't accumulate due to the gallons of spilled Natty Lite, Mickey's Big Mouths, and urine. Other than that, I have no concerns.

    - Brady Lovechild #7

  10. Posted by HAM05 | January 31, 2012 at 10:00 AM

    I'LL BE ON THE NEXT FLIGHT OVER!

    -charlie

  11. Posted by PermaGuestII | January 31, 2012 at 10:24 AM

    All this snow and we couldn't get at least a *little* avalanche?

  12. Posted by lucas | January 31, 2012 at 10:53 AM

    You should deconstruct Anya Shiffin's annoying posts in the same manner.

  13. Posted by Gisele | January 31, 2012 at 10:57 AM

    The Giants will be the Pat's bitch on Sunday evening

  14. Posted by guest | January 31, 2012 at 11:02 AM

    They have been covered here..

  15. Posted by RemyFan | January 31, 2012 at 11:04 AM

    Are there Saudis in them Audis?
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lqJDuZIcQ34

  16. Posted by VonSloneker | January 31, 2012 at 5:09 PM

    I can empathize with that…and am pulling for the G-men

    -Bridgette M.

    …alternatively

    We'll see about that

    - David Tyree's Helmet

  17. Posted by The Boyz | January 31, 2012 at 5:35 PM

    So Jerry Jones must be running the show at Davos.

    -Guy Who Remembers the Last SuperBowl in DFW.

  18. Posted by AIG Snowfall Quant | January 31, 2012 at 5:37 PM

    I heard that some of the fashion models and "female publicity assistants" gave differing stories as to how many inches they experienced.

  19. Posted by Dream On | February 1, 2012 at 6:46 AM

    Sadly Bess has never been to a nice place in the Alps :(

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