• 09 Jan 2012 at 10:47 AM

Jon Corzine Isn’t Finished Here

Back in November, shortly after MF Global filed for bankruptcy, many suggested that even if he changed his name and underwent an appearance-altering makeover that included shaving the beard, it would be unlikely that Jon Corzine would ever work again, whether on Wall Street or as a traveling vacuum salesman going door to door to push his product. No, people said– he was finished. Forward his non-existent calls to the couch, where you’d be able to find him on any given morning, eating cereal out of a punch bowl and shouting “Oh shit! Paternity tests don’t lie!” along with the Maury audience before his pre-afternoon nap. How could he possibly find gainful employment again, after all that’d happened, people asked before answering that no, it was impossible. At the time, we cautioned not to underestimate the fire inside JSC, who has never let setbacks define him and who would likely soon demonstrate his conviction in the saying tattooed on his ass- “Each time a door closes, a bigger, more fucking awesome one opens.” Assuming he can cover the rent, that door has come.

Jon S. Corzine, who resigned as chief executive of MF Global Holdings Ltd. shortly after the securities firm collapsed in October, recently has been looking for office space in Manhattan, according to people familiar with the situation. One of the locations he seems interested in: brokerage firm John Carris Investments, at 40 Wall St., around the corner from the New York Stock Exchange, these people said. Employees at the small firm have been told that the former Goldman Sachs Group Inc. chairman and New Jersey governor might drop by, one person familiar with the situation said. Another person said Mr. Corzine is interested only in securing office space, not a job at John Carris. Mr. Corzine couldn’t be reached to comment.

Jon Corzine Is Seeking Some Space [WSJ]

81 comments (hidden to protect delicate sensibilities)
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Comments (81)

  1. Posted by S. Ackerman | January 9, 2012 at 10:55 AM

    There's no chance this jerk is getting hired.

  2. Posted by Meriwether Hunter | January 9, 2012 at 11:02 AM

    Traders don't lose money. Algorithms lose money.

  3. Posted by Guest | January 9, 2012 at 11:04 AM

    I'll rent him space, under my desk.

    Lynn Tilton

  4. Posted by Assburgher | January 9, 2012 at 11:04 AM

    I don't lose money, I steal it!

    -MF Global pissmaker

  5. Posted by Guest | January 9, 2012 at 11:07 AM

    We'll know he's serious about this when he shaves the beard, takes the Series 7 and becomes a born-again Christian.

  6. Posted by paint shaker guy | January 9, 2012 at 11:12 AM

    DB commentariat will be happy to know we are suing the copier company for infringement and signing with iRobot to manufacture our device. Looking to bring on PMCO to assist in development of solar/vajazzle powered unit.

  7. Posted by davidrusso | January 9, 2012 at 11:15 AM

    Would you let Jon Corzine take office space at your B/D?


    Great, can I baby-sit your poodle?

    -Triumph the insult comic dog

  8. Posted by Guest | January 9, 2012 at 11:20 AM

    You can come work for me. I need a few gardeners for my beach house in the Hamptons.

    – David Tepper

  9. Posted by Dog | January 9, 2012 at 11:25 AM

    Yes, I understand that he was looking through his accounts last week and found $1.2billion he didn't realize he had. It's given him a good opportunity to set up a hedge fund to leverage up some Italian bond purchases…..

  10. Posted by Marie Confused | January 9, 2012 at 11:27 AM

    Let him make cake…


  11. Posted by MF Global Customer | January 9, 2012 at 11:33 AM

    Caption: Jump, Motherfucker!!!

  12. Posted by AIG Quant via LEH | January 9, 2012 at 11:34 AM

    Jon S. Corzine's shaved nether regions? Now there's an image that will stay with me forever.

  13. Posted by guest | January 9, 2012 at 11:42 AM

    Level one CFA?

  14. Posted by The Key Master | January 9, 2012 at 11:54 AM

    Worst comment since the inception of Dealbreaker.

  15. Posted by Writer's Guild | January 9, 2012 at 11:59 AM

    Caruso: What have we got?

    Detective #1: The office just had a new bathroom installed for a former Goldman Sachs bigshot who came onboard recently. Today they found a dead bum in it.

    Caruso: (Ponders the crime scene, stands up, removes sun glasses) "You'll always have problems with a new Jon……"

    Cut to city scape, vocal overlay: "YEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHH…….."

  16. Posted by John Meriwether | January 9, 2012 at 12:04 PM

    Dude – just open up a shop. Even former clients will give you money. Trust me on this.

  17. Posted by guest | January 9, 2012 at 12:04 PM


  18. Posted by Guest | January 9, 2012 at 12:15 PM

    not by a long shot…

  19. Posted by Im_a_Dude | January 9, 2012 at 12:22 PM

    well, he said he was sorry and was sad for the account holders who lost their money. so why not give him a second chance?

  20. Posted by JJO | January 9, 2012 at 12:30 PM

    Corzine's new office should be 6' by 9',have steel bars, two bunks (one taken by a 315lb guy named Bubba) and a stainless steel toilet.

  21. Posted by larry | January 9, 2012 at 12:40 PM

    PER LTCM, the more you lose the more your next position pays

  22. Posted by King of France | January 9, 2012 at 12:41 PM

    Pawn jump the PMCO bandwagon!
    Knight jump the PMCO bandwagon!
    Everybody jump the PMCO bandwagon!
    IT'S A GANG BANG!!!!!!

  23. Posted by Paladin | January 9, 2012 at 1:03 PM

    I feel ripped off.

    -Guy Who Wrote "Have Gun – Will Travel" Intros in 1961

  24. Posted by PermaGuestII | January 9, 2012 at 1:25 PM

    I see nothing odd about his behaviour.

    -The Black Knight

  25. Posted by inlovewithpmco | January 9, 2012 at 1:36 PM

    She is not the gang bang type of gal, examine your motives

  26. Posted by Andy Stone | January 9, 2012 at 2:11 PM

    Damn Straight!

  27. Posted by guest | January 9, 2012 at 2:11 PM

    IIRC, Carris was the name floated when Dick Fuld attempted his comeback.Since I know nothing about this august institution, is is a b/d or a half-way house?

  28. Posted by Dranoes | January 9, 2012 at 2:11 PM

    He'll never shave that thing, I guarantee you it's covering up a weak chin.

  29. Posted by Fish Boy | January 9, 2012 at 2:29 PM

    Fuckin' A!

  30. Posted by J Coors | January 9, 2012 at 4:07 PM

    NOTHING IS OVER until I decide it is….

    Was it over when Paulson whacked me out back in 99 ? Hell no.

    Was it over when that fuck tepper tor down my beach pad ? Hell no

    When I wrecked MF Global ? Hell no

    When they caught me bangin the katz broad and forced me out of jersey by trying to kill me in that car ?

    Hell no

  31. Posted by @refco | January 9, 2012 at 4:09 PM

    No BS, i had a swiss client who said that he always came back with twice as much and actually did two years later. I was schocked as he had blown out completely with a small debit.

    from 5 to 10 mil, which he also blew.

    ( futures )

  32. Posted by guest | January 9, 2012 at 4:47 PM

    Slow clap.

  33. Posted by guest | January 9, 2012 at 4:47 PM


  34. Posted by Jerry Jones | January 9, 2012 at 5:03 PM

    Now that's good thinkin'.

  35. Posted by Guy Who Needs Yuks | January 9, 2012 at 5:18 PM

    That was pretty funny.

  36. Posted by Guestest | January 9, 2012 at 5:41 PM

    He seems to enjoy his wedgie with a starbucks…

  37. Posted by ItsGoodToBeTheKing | January 9, 2012 at 9:11 PM

    Yes, but you look like the piss-boy…

  38. Posted by Penny Wolowitz | January 10, 2012 at 1:32 AM

    Thank God that the federal appeals court just approve warrantless wiretapping: http://lawblog.legalmatch.com/2012/01/06/appeals-court-rules-favor-nsa-warrantless-wiretapping-forgets-constitution-exists/

    I know it’s only for terrorist purposes, but that hasn’t ever stopped our government from abusing the constitution, hopefully Corzine’s money won’t make them dizzy.

  39. Posted by C-MAN | January 10, 2012 at 4:00 PM

    "Ball so hard SEC wanna fine me, but first they gotta find me. What's 1.2billion to a motherfucker like me, can you please remind me?" – Jon Corzine

    "That shit cray" – Hank Paulson

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