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Jon Corzine Isn’t Finished Here

Back in November, shortly after MF Global filed for bankruptcy, many suggested that even if he changed his name and underwent an appearance-altering makeover that included shaving the beard, it would be unlikely that Jon Corzine would ever work again, whether on Wall Street or as a traveling vacuum salesman going door to door to push his product. No, people said– he was finished. Forward his non-existent calls to the couch, where you’d be able to find him on any given morning, eating cereal out of a punch bowl and shouting “Oh shit! Paternity tests don’t lie!” along with the Maury audience before his pre-afternoon nap. How could he possibly find gainful employment again, after all that’d happened, people asked before answering that no, it was impossible. At the time, we cautioned not to underestimate the fire inside JSC, who has never let setbacks define him and who would likely soon demonstrate his conviction in the saying tattooed on his ass- “Each time a door closes, a bigger, more fucking awesome one opens.” Assuming he can cover the rent, that door has come.

Jon S. Corzine, who resigned as chief executive of MF Global Holdings Ltd. shortly after the securities firm collapsed in October, recently has been looking for office space in Manhattan, according to people familiar with the situation. One of the locations he seems interested in: brokerage firm John Carris Investments, at 40 Wall St., around the corner from the New York Stock Exchange, these people said. Employees at the small firm have been told that the former Goldman Sachs Group Inc. chairman and New Jersey governor might drop by, one person familiar with the situation said. Another person said Mr. Corzine is interested only in securing office space, not a job at John Carris. Mr. Corzine couldn’t be reached to comment.

Jon Corzine Is Seeking Some Space [WSJ]

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81 Responses to “Jon Corzine Isn’t Finished Here”

  1. S. Ackerman says:

    There's no chance this jerk is getting hired.

  2. Meriwether Hunter says:

    Traders don't lose money. Algorithms lose money.

  3. Guest says:

    I'll rent him space, under my desk.

    Lynn Tilton

  4. Assburgher says:

    I don't lose money, I steal it!

    -MF Global pissmaker

  5. Guest says:

    We'll know he's serious about this when he shaves the beard, takes the Series 7 and becomes a born-again Christian.

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  7. davidrusso says:

    Would you let Jon Corzine take office space at your B/D?

    Yes?

    Great, can I baby-sit your poodle?

    -Triumph the insult comic dog

  8. Guest says:

    You can come work for me. I need a few gardeners for my beach house in the Hamptons.

    – David Tepper

  9. Dog says:

    Yes, I understand that he was looking through his accounts last week and found $1.2billion he didn't realize he had. It's given him a good opportunity to set up a hedge fund to leverage up some Italian bond purchases…..

  10. Marie Confused says:

    Let him make cake…

    wait…what?

  11. MF Global Customer says:

    Caption: Jump, Motherfucker!!!

  12. AIG Quant via LEH says:

    Jon S. Corzine's shaved nether regions? Now there's an image that will stay with me forever.

  13. guest says:

    Level one CFA?

  14. Writer's Guild says:

    Caruso: What have we got?

    Detective #1: The office just had a new bathroom installed for a former Goldman Sachs bigshot who came onboard recently. Today they found a dead bum in it.

    Caruso: (Ponders the crime scene, stands up, removes sun glasses) "You'll always have problems with a new Jon……"

    Cut to city scape, vocal overlay: "YEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHH…….."

  15. John Meriwether says:

    Dude – just open up a shop. Even former clients will give you money. Trust me on this.

  16. Im_a_Dude says:

    well, he said he was sorry and was sad for the account holders who lost their money. so why not give him a second chance?

  17. JJO says:

    Corzine's new office should be 6' by 9',have steel bars, two bunks (one taken by a 315lb guy named Bubba) and a stainless steel toilet.

  18. larry says:

    PER LTCM, the more you lose the more your next position pays

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  20. PermaGuestII says:

    I see nothing odd about his behaviour.

    -The Black Knight

  21. guest says:

    IIRC, Carris was the name floated when Dick Fuld attempted his comeback.Since I know nothing about this august institution, is is a b/d or a half-way house?

  22. Dranoes says:

    He'll never shave that thing, I guarantee you it's covering up a weak chin.

  23. J Coors says:

    NOTHING IS OVER until I decide it is….

    Was it over when Paulson whacked me out back in 99 ? Hell no.

    Was it over when that fuck tepper tor down my beach pad ? Hell no

    When I wrecked MF Global ? Hell no

    When they caught me bangin the katz broad and forced me out of jersey by trying to kill me in that car ?

    Hell no

  24. Guestest says:

    He seems to enjoy his wedgie with a starbucks…

  25. Penny Wolowitz says:

    Thank God that the federal appeals court just approve warrantless wiretapping: http://lawblog.legalmatch.com/2012/01/06/appeals-court-rules-favor-nsa-warrantless-wiretapping-forgets-constitution-exists/

    I know it’s only for terrorist purposes, but that hasn’t ever stopped our government from abusing the constitution, hopefully Corzine’s money won’t make them dizzy.

  26. C-MAN says:

    "Ball so hard SEC wanna fine me, but first they gotta find me. What's 1.2billion to a motherfucker like me, can you please remind me?" – Jon Corzine

    "That shit cray" – Hank Paulson

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