Are you a Connecticut-based hedge fund employee, perhaps living and working in Stamford and unable to imagine life getting much better than that in the 06901? Well don’t get too comfortable. According to a report in the February issue of Bloomberg Markets Magazine, it’s not entirely out of the realm of possibility that your bosses may soon force you to relocate to Malta, where many a firm has been “lured by low taxes, cheap labor and a coveted address inside the European Union.” If the idea of giving up all this [gestures towards the ashes of Hula Hanks Island Grille & Bar, I-95, the gleaming, glittering UBS building, freezing your ass off walking from house to car and car to office] for a “sun-drenched island in the middle of the Mediterranean Sea” that gets 300 days of sunshine per year sounds like a trade you’re somewhat unsure about, you’re not alone. Erik Nelson was once in your shoes, too.
Erik Nelson was working in Stamford, Connecticut, as a research analyst at FMG USA LLC, the U.S. arm of FMG, a fund of funds specializing in emerging and frontier markets, when his bosses called him into a meeting in September 2009. They had recently moved FMG’s corporate headquarters to Malta fromBermuda and now they wanted Nelson, 27 at the time, to head up the new office. “I’ll have to think about it,” Nelson replied.
Three months later, Nelson did end up making the trip, like the other hedge fund employees who’ve helped Malta increase the number of funds with a local presence by 30 percent since 2010. And in a crazy plot twist no one saw coming, is actually having a pretty okay time.
Strolling along the harbor in Sliema, a section of Malta’s northeast coast known for its bustling bars and restaurants, Nelson says he doesn’t regret leaving Connecticut. Nelson’s apartment is a two-minute walk from FMG’s offices. He plays squash. He sails. He goes spearfishing. “I’m a big water sports guy,” Nelson says. “Here, I can walk out my front door, cross the road and jump in the water.” He says if he gets “rock fever” and feels he has to get off the island, the rest of Europe is just a short flight away. As long as Nelson comes back to the rock, Malta’s government will be happy.
Those not into water sports may have a bit harder time adjusting to the dump.
Malta Lures Connecticut Hedge Funds With 300 Days of Sun Aided by EU Rules [Bloomberg]
Beamer's: Seeking Catholic-love friendly franchisees for aggressive growth opportunities overseas
All while wearing his little brother's suit.
“I’m a big water sports guy,”
Honey if you ever think of moving back to the states, CALL ME.
Ever bang a drunk angry dolphin during a leap year?
In other news, Connecticut single scene is improving vastly, thanks to a higher F/M ratio…
That's like saying the bonus pool at RBS is getting bigger thanks to layoffs.
Not fair! I want to hear about raj taking a semi truck in the keister, not about some stripling living across the street from a topless beach on the med while my kohojones are still frozen to the vynil seat of my rusted 1978 civic. Please cancel my subscription….I will take Lightsquared shares in the pro rata refund.
In other news, UBS has released a statement effective immediately for relocation of all employees to Keokene Island off of Westport, CT. Tents, sleeping bags and bug spray provided on a first come, first serve basis.
Long Island Sound wasn't good enough? The exotic cove beach has all the watersports you'd need GUY.
Doing anything in Malta > fund of funds in Stamford
Malta is a friend of mine.
than it would've been
step 1: move to malta
step 2: play squash
step 3: stab a fish with a trident
step 4: ?
step 5: profit
do it again, might get funnier.
should be ???
other than that I have no concerns.
are you having a stroke in stages?
I predict that the value of a Zamboni franchise in Malta is set to rise considerably.
You know who else feels like he's on an island? Me. Adobe Acrobat is surrounding me on all sides. I've clicked the margin by accident like 5 times.
I know you have to pay the bill Bess but maybe you could bring back most unbalanced comment instead.
You're going to want to lay low for a while Brick…. because you're probably wanted for murder.
"17% were aged 14 and under"
I'm so moving there!
wouldn't exactly say nowadays many a firm is looking for a "coveted address inside the European Union"
I am going to kick the shit out of that seabass. That one, right there, with the weird eyes.
The skin is only running today.
"rock fever" – huh, so that's what it means
I kinda like it Homer…it's a constant game of "did I just see a vagina in that Adobe ad?"
Q: How do you make a Maltese cross?
A: Stab him with a trident.
fund of funds in malta is the new equities in dallas
-michael lewis
I'm also a big water sports guy.
Somebody call a mohel?
Coveting an address inside the EU is the OKI
Malta > Crabshell
Q: How do you make a Venetian blind?
A: Stab him in the eye with a trident.
Connolly's on E46th St. > Crabshell
-just sayin'
Ooooh. Look who's all arty farty. I was thinking gay guy..he would have no idea what a vag looks like.
FKApmco / AKAFagHag (ergo, motives examined and found sound)
So am I! Wait, do showers still count as water sports?
- Jerry Sandusky
The urinal I just pissed in > Stamford
Are they looking for a conservative CFA?
Yeah but does Malta have a back room?
- UBS Entertainment Quant
Yes: Ibiza.
anybody in Malta wanna live in a big house in Greenwich cheap ? Post new year's sale –26k sq ft on 30 acres for $13mm/show me a bid. Big Stan's house
Bass to Mouth or Ass to Trout?
Bess to mouth?
Is that a jew of malta reference ?
Nervy may not like that…
step 4 is smuggle North Africans into Italy. if they still even want to go.
5:30 and no Matt post? Did he run off to Malta?
You're making my skin tighten
I kinda like it too – the spritely pink pleasure swirl reminds me of a certain intern's anus I probed with great vigor while meditating upon the importance of fannie and freddie loans
Sniff sniff ….I smell something rotten in Malta. Island of tax evasion and thieves – just laying low until the gov forgets. "Never been there they tell me its nice"
This dude will be up for a serious tax evasion investigation. Not knowing is not an argument.
The gov never forgets.
Wait… Hula hanks closed. Tell me it ain't so. Sob
Wait, you mean these funds may be domiciling themselves in other countries to gain some type of tax or regulatory advantage, holy fucking shit dude, my mind = blown.
-SEC Quant, former IRS intern
I'm guessing you dress like this: http://goo.gl/W1BcU
It's called a tailor my friend.
Stamford, CT<Mediterranean Island< Newport Beach
Trident double layered Gum?
I hear that Malta overflows when the back office flushes the toilet.
- UBS wc quant
NICe man! Good! I her it too!
Maltese bitches… Sooo tight.
- D Kneale
Does anyone wear tighter pants than Andrew Jameson? I can only hope not.
NYC is 40 minutes away, LGA is 35 minutes. I can walk to the beach from my house in the Cove. What's not to like? Greenwich Bitches are soooo tight!
As long as you're snapping a towel or something like that.