My point about pigskin offense and defense is the perfect metaphor for the world of investing as well. Offensively minded risk takers in the markets have historically been the ones who have dominated the headlines and won the hearts of that beautiful gal (or handsome guy). Aside from the rare examples of Steve Jobs and Bill Gates, however, the secret to getting rich since the early 1980s has been to borrow someone else’s money, throw some Hail Mary passes and spike the ball in the end zone as if you had some particular genius that deserved monetary rewards 210 times more than a Doctor, Lawyer or an Indian Chief. Nah, I take that back about the Indian Chief. The Chiefs, at least, have done pretty well with casinos these past few decades. [PIMCO Investment Outlook]

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Comments (34)

  1. Posted by Rich | February 28, 2012 at 12:29 PM

    it moved

  2. Posted by Mike_Mayo | February 28, 2012 at 12:30 PM


  3. Posted by Chaz | February 28, 2012 at 12:32 PM

    Bring on the Santorum bukkake!

  4. Posted by FB Guy | February 28, 2012 at 12:35 PM

    Hey Bill, Go Deep!

  5. Posted by Double Windsor & Co. | February 28, 2012 at 12:37 PM

    Someone seriously needs to direct Bill to

  6. Posted by PermaGuestII | February 28, 2012 at 12:42 PM

    Who own the Chiefs?

    -Denis Lemieux

  7. Posted by Hey! | February 28, 2012 at 12:49 PM

    I 'borrowed' someone else's money, when do I get to spike the ball?

    -J. Corzine

  8. Posted by investorcluzo | February 28, 2012 at 12:50 PM

    someone needs to check his motives and issue a re-do…

  9. Posted by Cut Me | February 28, 2012 at 12:51 PM

    If it were a good metaphor, then Phil would have an advantage
    -W. Falcone

  10. Posted by guest | February 28, 2012 at 12:51 PM
  11. Posted by Whoops | February 28, 2012 at 12:52 PM

    Yeah, doctors have it so bad. That's why they have the second highest representation in the top 1%, after non-finance executives. Without downside volatility for the most part too. How unfortunate for them.

  12. Posted by Fixed Income | February 28, 2012 at 1:00 PM

    At his age, you don't want to pick a fight with your doctors.

  13. Posted by pazzo83 | February 28, 2012 at 1:02 PM

    Well I forgot the words to the Hail Mary, so would another prayer work?

    – UBS Sports Metaphors Quant

  14. Posted by Nightstand Reporter | February 28, 2012 at 1:09 PM

    What's on Bill Gross' nightstand
    Keys to the lock box containing the "Mega-Masturbator".
    El-Erian's palest blue veil.
    Pint of Albolene
    Bale of dollars from tip money un-delivered.
    Atomic Balm
    Group picture of the Castrati
    Whataburger Ketchup pack.
    Small medicinal paper cups.
    "White Noise" device set on "Counting Money"
    Halloween strobe light.
    Samurai hair clip
    Book: "Mysteries of the Prostate Gland"

  15. Posted by Glon Flarney | February 28, 2012 at 1:12 PM

    Hey Bill, skeet skeet skeet!

  16. Posted by The Ref | February 28, 2012 at 1:15 PM

    Spiking the ball in the endzone often results in an excessive celebration penalty…..

    So should writing something as hypocritical as that….

  17. Posted by FKApmco | February 28, 2012 at 1:23 PM

    Might I suggest
    We paid for all this food ourselves, so thanks for nothing God
    -Homer J Simpson

  18. Posted by oneoneone | February 28, 2012 at 1:27 PM

    Bill, wait until you see the dance I have been practicing.

    T. Geithner

  19. Posted by guest | February 28, 2012 at 1:30 PM

    are you suggesting it takes the same talent and work ethic to be a bottom quartile, no alpha money runner as it does to be the kind of doctor who gets into the 1%…?

  20. Posted by Whoops | February 28, 2012 at 1:46 PM

    I'll have to ask 2011 Bill Gross for a personal take on that one.

  21. Posted by guest | February 28, 2012 at 1:56 PM

    Great News. Now thanks to Western Sky you can borrow money from an Indian chief. Sure the loans aren't cheap but federal and state laws and regulations don't apply!

  22. Posted by ObvsHoax | February 28, 2012 at 2:08 PM

    Still only one Bill to the G:

  23. Posted by theirregulator | February 28, 2012 at 2:11 PM

    The hand gestures say this is a well-reasoned and completely rationale analysis, but the eyes say I am batshit crazy.

  24. Posted by PermaGuestII | February 28, 2012 at 2:24 PM

    Highest representation in the "1%" is NON-finance executives i.e. C-suite deadwood from GM et al. Think Finance is 3 or 4- can't remember where lawyers fit in.

    And I'm willing to bet that earning $506k/yr in the medical profession doesn't necessarily correlate with work ethic and a selfless dedication to the hippocratic oath. Doubt there are many Park Ave. plastic surgeons clamoring to get into Syria as part of Medecins sans Frontiers right now.

  25. Posted by Your average rant | February 28, 2012 at 2:40 PM

    With all due respect, comparing the work doctors do and the effort/study they put in before they even get in the game to anything done by folks in finance is absurd. Pick your master of the universe and he put in slightly less effort before the age of 33 than the median performer at Nova Southeastern Osteopathic. If you have convinced yourself otherwise, try one cup of the kool-aid each morning instead of two.

    Park Ave/Beverly Hills tits doctors = guys selling structured products to German pensions in '05. There are people with loose morals in all walks of life.

  26. Posted by L.T. | February 28, 2012 at 2:43 PM

    Thanks Bill. Which brings me to my next point, children: don't smoke crack.

  27. Posted by guest | February 28, 2012 at 2:49 PM

    We beg to differ.

    -Sean McNamara and Christian Troy

  28. Posted by Guest | February 28, 2012 at 2:55 PM

    Bill Gross looks like William Fichtner.

  29. Posted by Texashedge | February 28, 2012 at 3:06 PM

    Well, we know he doesn't play just the tip

  30. Posted by PermaGuestII | February 28, 2012 at 3:13 PM

    At what point did I compare the study/qualifications of doctors with those of people in finance?

    And for that matter, it's irrelevant. It's a completely different skill set. You might as well say that Jeter isn't qualified to be a shortstop because he can't play the piano.

  31. Posted by Whoops | February 28, 2012 at 3:52 PM

    Given their upward options and low downside volatility , medicine is a great career from a lifetime expected earnings perspective. Yes it takes hard work, but that doesn't really amount to compensation in most professions. Did we suddenly re-embrace the Labor Theory of Value? Recall the component of volatility in the Black-Scholes model.

    If you really want unsung heroes in medicine that still have reasonably high relative entry costs, I'd be happy to point out paramedics and ER nurses. They'll save your life AND they won't get paid much for it compared to their lab-coated colleagues. They'll even have higher job volatility. So it strikes me as a bit misinformed and disingenuous to compare the creme de la creme of fund managers with a profession that seems to do quite well for itself without much risk, as if doctors get screwed under our current social arrangements. And it's not like it's just tits doctors making that kind of scratch either. A dermatologist can make seven figures soon after becoming an attending, there's a reason it's so in demand.

  32. Posted by Yo Soy Fiesta | February 28, 2012 at 4:48 PM

    I disagree.

  33. Posted by duh | February 28, 2012 at 7:56 PM

    Jeter can play the piano

  34. Posted by guest | February 28, 2012 at 8:27 PM

    hate to beat this to death, and some good points, but some bad ones. viz:
    average derm makes 300k. they can make 7 figures like college baseball players can make 7 figures if they get drafted by the yankees.
    check google to see what the creme de la creme of fund managers make. (it isn't 6 figures, or 7, or 8).
    as for vol, a mediocre/junior HF/PE pro will make well into the 6 figures, and the way LPs are structured, can get away with it for the better part of a decade.
    and most of them are mediocre. 8000 planes in the air and 100 good pilots…