Back in the day, as in 2007, Wall Street compensated its employees in a way that made them feel loved. In a way that allowed them to repress the true passions they would have been going after if the price were not oh so right. Now, obviously, not so much. Combine that with suffocating regulation and you’ve got a bunch of financial services hacks who are saying fuck this shit– I refuse to waste another day here while my dream of opening a line of Russian saunas in New Jersey slips away. So far just one guy– a Goldman trader in Moscow– has said that, but presumably the floodgates are about to open.
Goldman Sachs Group Inc.’s chief equity trader in Moscow, Peter Kizenko, said he quit to return to New Jersey and finish building a commercial Russian sauna. Kizenko, who was born in New York, said he decided to return after 18 years in Moscow because of the growth of electronic trading and declining compensation in the industry…The banya tradition dates to the 11th century in Russia. A wooden log shed is heated by an electric or wood-burning stove to well over 80 degrees Fahrenheit. Copious amounts of water are poured on the heat source to bring the humidity to about the same level. A visit to a banya begins with several rotations in and out of the steam room to allow the body to warm up. Naked bathers typically beat one another with birch or pine branches before plunging into cold water or rolling in snow to cool down. There are about five to seven banyas already in the New York, area according to Kizenko, who considered opening one in London until he saw how expensive the rents are. “There are a few in Brooklyn and Manhattan, but the aesthetics are not up to scratch,” Kizenko said by phone today. “We are going for a mixture of the contemporary and the classical of Sanduny in Moscow.” Kizenko had his banya, called Bear and Birch, made in Russia and shipped to the U.S., he said.
Grand opening invite TK.
Goldman’s Chief Russia Trader Quits to Build New York Sauna [Bloomberg]
Those saunas are great! I've been to the one on fulton and there's only a little fungus on everything, and the russian girls there exhibit limited bruising.
"there are a few in Brooklyn and Manhattan, but the aesthetics are not up to scratch" = no one is actually naked nor would you want them to be.
We save all that sauna money by just walking around on a summer day in Houston. You have to do your own bush beatin' though.
Self-bush beating is not uncommon here in NY either
What's all this about rolling around in snow?
-L. Kudlow
What Mr. Kizenko didn't discuss was the simultaneous implementation of a backdoor casino, a basement brothel, and an VIP arms dealer room.
Sometimes it's hard to relax in those places
- Viggo
after full examination of my motives, I have pre-tracted my statement.
-repentent soul
Its hard to draw charts on a dry erase board in a sauna.
–Ping
In Soviet Russia bush beat around you!
- guy who's sorry he's not sorry
Excellent reference Sir.
Saying the sauna gets "well over 80 degrees farenheit" is tantamount to saying Charlie Gasparino can bench "well over 80 pounds."
2007 = the egg mcmuffin of compensation
I've been doing this for years at Equinox, wasn't using a branch though.
."A wooden log shed is heated by an electric or wood-burning stove to well over 80 degrees Fahrenheit. Copious amounts of water are poured on the heat source to bring the humidity to about the same level."
Wtf does this mean? How is humidity a temperature?
– Not a weather quant
Bravo…
Birch & Wollensky?
2×4?
*HONDA/ACURA JAN. U.S. VEHICLE SALES UP 8.8%
Are you still accepting investors?
- J Paulson
Hey, why don't you make like a tree and leave!
HOOOOOOOOO!
U S A! U S A! U S A!
It gets better.
-Michael P. Fay, /NoHomo
"You have to do your own bush beatin' though."
Ludmila at Treasures can help you with that.
a true texan would never string the words "Bush" and "beatin'" together unless followed by "Country X"
I know where you can find some oaks.
You had me at "Naked bathers typically beat one another with birch or pine branches before plunging into cold water or rolling in snow to cool down."
L Tilton
Ryan Seacrest Quant
I think they meant to say that it brings the humidity to about 80%, which you are right, is not a temperature nor comparable to one. "80 degrees and humidity the same" is lazy and incorrect, but people still say it. But at least it's pretty humid!
I think I can understand the appeal of working in a place with high temperature and high humidity where you beat people with sticks.
- Boiler Room Brokerage Manager
Was also wondering about the pouring water on an *electric* stove bit…
We should make a sauna that gets to 100% humidity!
- AIG Sauna/great idea analyst
Whipping men with bushes…not that there's anything wrong with that.
Instead of a pine branch, can I just use my fist or a circular saw?
- Guy who's seen Hostel I & II too many times
Russians are always complaining in the steam room. It will be 150 degrees and those cocksuckers want to give the sensor another splash of cold water. "It's not hot enough in here," in their broken English. Cool your jets Boris, I've only been in here 2 minutes and I'm already fucking light-headed.
Daozheng, the pussy from Jersey City Operations, is that you?
Pretty sure its supposed to be 80 Celsius – good catch
Banya? I hardly know ya!
Are there happy endings with the Russian ladies too?
this reference is wrong in two ways.
the correct saying would say "leaf."
the correct quote would say "get outta here."
Nyet.
-Olga's dad.
Most bushes in Houston have already been pretty well manicured.
Nothing ever ends happily when a Russian lady is involved.
co-signed.
-girl who appreciates people who can properly fucking quote Back to the Future
can I Putin in your ass?
thanks for Fucking clarifying that
Charlie G…. that name sounds familiar…
Even 80 C would be embarrassingly cool for a Russian banya. I know Russians who don't consider it a good sauna unless the skin on their back blisters. 100 C is still cool for a banya, and that's the temperature at which water boils! We supply the materials and equipment worldwide. http://www.almostheaven.net.
Presenting the GS trader's photo: http://finparty.ru/media/galleries/542/thumbs/img…
and?
Great story.
You guys are morons. 2 min in sauna and lightheaded, did u ever think u are lightheaded, because there is no brain in there.
This guy, Peter Kizenko is bringing to New jersey a sophisticated sauna to experience something you, morons, never were part of.
Vilifying someone is easy, just try to do something as innovative as he does, then we talk.
Amazing, how fellow American men always ready to mock russians. With their preconceived notions, their bigotry, shallowness and attitude instead of showing some support or cheer others. All these blogs above are beside imbecile, just try to be a mensch for a change and don’t insult Russian women, because most of you, guys are looking for one.
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