• 24 Feb 2012 at 2:18 PM

Jon Corzine’s Weekend Just Got A Bump

By

The last several months have not been the best of times for Jon Stephen Corzine. His fund went down for the dirt nap. He was forced to shelve his dreams of becoming a count. He made the tearful decision to put his Hoboken hideaway on the market, probably to free up some cash should it become necessary to pay legal fees. And while some pissant MF Global clients have in fact served him with papers, today brings the joyous news that any sleepless nights spent worrying over doing time were all for naught.

“Sources tell the FOX Business Network the criminal case right now looks highly unlikely. The investigators are having a very difficult time proving criminal intent in the disclosure of the details leading up to the implosion of MF Global. They see a lot of sloppy bookwork. Sources say Jon Corzine’s firm wasn’t managed very well, but in terms of proving they intentionally misused that money, they are having a very tough time. They doubt a criminal case will result from this.”

The comeback continues, now ahead of schedule. Congratulatory flowers and candy can be sent here.

Comments (112)

  1. 1
    Posted by Nipu Saki | February 24, 2012 at 2:23 PM

    heard rumors that he's up for Robert Wolf's job

  2. 2
    Posted by Hakuna Matata Guy | February 24, 2012 at 2:29 PM

    I hope everyone has a nice weekend.

    Deepest Regards,

    Long lost friend

  3. 3
    Posted by Here's Johnny | February 24, 2012 at 2:32 PM

    Those donations to the Obama Campaign do have a way of paying off

    GFY JC

  4. 4
    Posted by farmers w/o seeds | February 24, 2012 at 2:32 PM

    We will be the swift boat veterans of this election cycle.

  5. 5
    Posted by Long-term funding | February 24, 2012 at 2:42 PM

    Given where peripheral EU debt is now trading, it seems Jonny-boy was just a few months too early… oh well, I guess George Soros will be able to buy more homes to dangle in front of and then not give to his various girlfriends now

  6. 6
    Posted by smooth criminal | February 24, 2012 at 2:42 PM

    i guess it is not a crime to be dumb. i was dumb to think otherwise.

  7. 7
    Posted by VonSloneker | February 24, 2012 at 2:57 PM

    Not to ruin your weekend or anything John…but under SARBOX:

    c) Criminal Penalties.— Whoever— (1) certifies any statement as set forth in subsections (a) and (b) of this section knowing that the periodic report accompanying the statement does not comport with all the requirements set forth in this section shall be fined not more than $1,000,000 or imprisoned not more than 10 years, or both

  8. 8
    Posted by possibly | February 24, 2012 at 2:58 PM

    Being right on timing is overrated

    - JW Merriweather

  9. 9
    Posted by Bangin Futes | February 24, 2012 at 3:00 PM

    What, "fund" ?

    He blew up a public compnay that had once been worth 3 bil, and had over 2500 employees in 4 continents.

    All the while leaving thousands of clients on the hook for a billion plus.

  10. 10
    Posted by theShizznitt | February 24, 2012 at 3:02 PM

    Pictured above: an empty, no-longer-useful item destined for the rubbish bin; and an empty Starbucks cup.

  11. 11
    Posted by oneoneone | February 24, 2012 at 3:07 PM

    See the comment above regarding political donations.

  12. 12
    Posted by nigerian guest | February 24, 2012 at 3:11 PM

    Ex-KBR CEO Gets 30 Months For Halliburton’s Nigerian Bribe Scheme-SweetCrude

  13. 13
    Posted by Guest | February 24, 2012 at 3:14 PM

    What about: an unenviable place in which no one would wish to be; and Hoboken?

  14. 14
    Posted by Guest | February 24, 2012 at 3:17 PM

    "terms of proving they intentionally misused that money, they are having a very tough time"

    $1.2B missing and they are having a tough time ?!?!?!?!

    He must have pictures of Obama blowing Jeremiah Wright!

  15. 15
    Posted by AIG Quant via LEH | February 24, 2012 at 3:49 PM

    It was the best of times, it was the worst of times …

  16. 16
    Posted by Guest | February 24, 2012 at 4:01 PM

    that image is too much.

  17. 17
    Posted by guestapo | February 24, 2012 at 5:09 PM

    I like that you're dumb enough to think this has anything to do with Obama, who likely doesn't give a shit if the Feds bring charges against JSC, who he's clearly already disassociated with.

  18. 18
    Posted by guest | February 24, 2012 at 5:10 PM

    It's "Jon," no H. And you didn't ruin it, thanks.

    -JSC

  19. 19
    Posted by guest | February 24, 2012 at 5:10 PM

    You're a moron.

  20. 20
    Posted by guest | February 24, 2012 at 5:11 PM

    Or…it's not yet legal to criminalize stupidity/dumb trades? You keep winning it though. That tinfoil hat looks great on you.

  21. 21
    Posted by guest | February 24, 2012 at 5:11 PM

    Good one…

  22. 22
    Posted by Hew Jerkins | February 24, 2012 at 5:32 PM

    big uptick

  23. 23
    Posted by gab | February 24, 2012 at 5:51 PM

    What? Did I wander into Zerohedge by mistake?

  24. 24
    Posted by David | February 24, 2012 at 10:22 PM

    Lately it seems like everyone getting caught for doing shady shit is walking away unscathed. What the hell is wrong with this country.

  25. 25
    Posted by Reidier | February 24, 2012 at 11:12 PM

    EARTH TO POWERS THAT BE: What is wrong with you people? Even out here in Trailer Park Land we recognize theft when we see it. Don't tell us Corzine isn't a criminal, you just seem more corrupt and incompetent.

  26. 26
    Posted by Mark P | February 24, 2012 at 11:57 PM

    Enough of this nonsense that the trades would have been good had they not been forcibly liquidated which implies that Corzine was indeed a smart trader just a little off with his timing.I could max out my marginable cash with a swing at the oil market on Monday morning lose everythingand be closed out by margin clerks very quickly if the market moved against me….would I be vindicated even slightly if the market moved back in my favor a short while later.

  27. 27
    Posted by Joe Johnson | February 26, 2012 at 3:04 PM

    The Honorable Jon Stephen Corzine Demokrat NJ / on second thought make that Jon Stephen Corzine Demokrat NJ common thief / scam artiest / Obama fund raiser and hopefully cellmate of the most aids infested huge homosexual in the penitentiary. .

  28. 28
    Posted by You aint shit | February 26, 2012 at 3:38 PM

    Ur a douche

  29. 29
    Posted by zeitguest | February 28, 2012 at 7:45 AM

    put it to you this way: taking a corner slowly in hunt's point doesn't necessarily mean i was looking for h00kers.

  30. 30
    Posted by zeitguest | February 28, 2012 at 7:59 AM

    dear trailer park land – we get that you're mad. but you don't want us to start criminalizing stupidity. if you run over the boss's dog with your backhoe, you maybe get fired, but you don't go to jail. and if jonny jersey had outright stolen that amount of money, he would have bought Corfu from Greece with enough scratch left over to live like the sultan of brunei there for the rest of his natural life.

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    Posted by John Ehrlichman | February 29, 2012 at 9:23 AM

    Another Obama cronie geting away with a crime. When will people wake up and see whats going on
    here?

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