Opening Bell: 02.08.12

China May ‘Move Shortly’ on Aid for Europe (Bloomberg)
China may “move shortly” to help Europe resolve its debt crisis by providing an investment of as much as 100 billion euros ($132 billion), said Yuan Gangming, an economist at the Chinese Academy of Social Sciences. The money would probably go to the European Financial Stability Facility, the euro bailout fund, said Yuan, adding that the forecasts are his own and don’t necessarily represent government plans. Economists from the academy provide policy advice without direct involvement in decisions. Helping Europe is like “hitting two birds with one stone,” Yuan said in an interview in Beijing Feb. 6. The action would have many benefits and few drawbacks, Yuan said.

Concession Smooths Way Toward a Greek Debt Deal (WSJ)
The European Central Bank has made key concessions over its holdings of Greek government bonds, which will contribute to a reduction of the country’s debt burden and smooth the path toward a new bailout for the country, said people briefed on Greece’s debt-restructuring negotiations. The decision by one of the Greek government’s biggest creditors will narrow a gap in Greece’s finances, helping pave the way for a debt-restructuring agreement with Greece’s private-sector creditors and a new €130 billion ($170 billion) bailout from other euro-zone governments and the International Monetary Fund. But it is still unclear whether Greek politicians, facing public outrage, will accept the tough austerity policies pushed by European authorities and the IMF as the conditions to secure a deal.

Bernanke-Led Economy Shows Critics Clueless (Bloomberg)
More than a year after Republicans from House Speaker John Boehner of Ohio to presidential candidate Ron Paul of Texas warned that the Fed’s second round of asset purchases risked a sharp acceleration in prices, the surge has failed to materialize. The personal-consumption-expenditures price index rose 2.4 percent for the 12 months ending in December, near the central bank’s 2 percent target…Even though the economy is showing signs of strengthening and inflation appears in check, Republicans Mitt Romney and Newt Gingrich, who also are running for president, have said they wouldn’t keep Bernanke, 58, when his second four-year term as Fed chairman expires on Jan. 31, 2014. Gingrich said in September that Bernanke was “the most inflationary, dangerous and power-centered chairman” in the central bank’s history. “The criticism about the Fed being inflationary is not fact-based,” said Mark Gertler, an economics professor at New York University who has co-written research with Bernanke. “In terms of an inflation record, the facts are the Fed has been as close to impeccable as you can possibly get.”

Spain Plans to Burn Its Bridges to Keep Vacationers on the Job (WSJ)
Tatiana Restrepo has a vacation problem. The Spanish government thinks she takes too many of them. Every year, she, like many Spaniards, strategically deploys paid vacation days as puentes—literally, bridges—to skip town for an extra-long weekend whenever public holidays fall in the middle three days of a week. In that way, she figures that last year she was able to stretch her 36 legally mandated days off into more than 50 days of downtime, including weekends. But now the time-honored tradition is under threat. In one of several measures designed to boost productivity in a sagging economy, Spain’s unions and business associations have agreed to suppress three bridges by moving the holidays to Mondays. The two sides, which rarely agree on anything, say the bridges cost the Spanish economy hundreds of millions of euros in lost production, as they result in idle plants and half-empty offices. “It’s just horrible,” says Ms. Restrepo, a marketer for Rusticae, a network of rural hotels, who every January studies the calendar with her husband to start planning jaunts around bridges.

Fink: Investors Should Be 100% in Equities (Bloomberg)
“I don’t have a view that the world is going to fall apart, so you need to take on more risk,” he said in an interview with Bloomberg Television in Hong Kong today. “You need to overcome all this noise. When you look at dividend returns on equities versus bond yields, to me it’s a pretty easy decision to be heavily in equities.”

Fed Will ‘Protect the US’ From Europe’s Crisis: Bernanke (Reuters)
FYI: “We are in frequent contact with European authorities, and we will continue to monitor the situation closely and take every available step to protect the U.S. financial system and the economy,” Bernanke told the Senate Budget Committee.

Hotel Workers Would Get Panic Alarm Buttons Under Proposed Contract (City Room)
Nine months after a hotel housekeeper accused Dominique Strauss-Kahn, the French politician, of sexually assaulting her in his suite in Manhattan, hotels across the city have agreed to equip their employees with panic buttons that will summon help immediately. That provision, scheduled to be put in place within a year, is included in a new seven-year labor contract that the Hotel Association of New York City approved last week.

Boston gets Butterfinger candy in honor of Patriots loss to Giants (NYP)
Colorado-based online pawn shop left 900 pounds of Butterfinger candy bars in Boston’s Copley Square on Tuesday to mock the New England Patriots. Patriots receiver Wes Welker dropped a pass late in the fourth quarter of Sunday’s Super Bowl XLVI against the Giants, costing his team a shot at the title in a game they lost 21-17. The website left a large placard near the giant pile of 8,000 candy bars that read, “Thank you Wes Welker.” Welker also was the likely target of Tom Brady’s model wife, Gisele Bundchen, who said Sunday on her way out of the game, “My husband cannot f–king throw the ball and catch the ball at the same time! I can’t believe they dropped the ball so many times!”

Facebook’s Zuckerberg may face $2 billion tax bill (Fortune)
Accountant nerds are super excited: “I personally have never seen a bill into the billions — close, but not quite,” said Anthony Nitti, a Colorado-based CPA and partner with Withum, Smith and Brown. “I talked to a few buddies of mine at the Big Four accounting firms, and it’s something not many people have seen.”

Hedge Funds Climbed 0.2% in January on Best Start for Equities in 18 Years (Bloomberg)
Hedge funds gained 0.2 percent in January as equities around the world had the best start in 18 years after U.S. economic growth showed signs of accelerating and European leaders moved closer to a solution for the region’s debt crisis…“We’re extremely pleased with how the portfolio’s been performing in 2012 to date,” said John Bailey, founder and chief executive officer of Spruce Private Investors LLC, whose Stamford, Connecticut-based firm advises investors holding about $3 billion of assets. “Investors will be looking for some measure of value added in hedge funds in 2012.”

Two Years After Spill, BP Profits and Plans (NYT)
On Tuesday, Robert W. Dudley, BP’s chief executive, told reporters in London that BP was “on the right path” as the company reported $7.7 billion in profit for the fourth quarter of 2011, a 38 percent increase from a year earlier. BP said production was up substantially from the previous quarter, and it expected its cash flow by 2014 to surge 50 percent past that of 2011, giving the company the financial strength to invest in exploration and pay even higher dividends.

Salvos Flying In Gupta Case (WSJ)
Federal prosecutors said they are planning to unveil previously undisclosed instances in which former Goldman Sachs Group Inc. director Rajat Gupta allegedly shared inside information when the criminal insider-trading case against him goes to trial later this year. Prosecutors announced their intentions at a court hearing in Manhattan federal court on Tuesday, as a judge granted defense lawyers’ request to delay the trial so they could have more time to prepare. The trial, which had been set to start in April, will now start six weeks later on May 21, U.S. District Judge Jed S. Rakoff said.

Citi Bullish on Retail Banking (WSJ)
By 2014, “people will really see a difference” in improved customer service and product sales at Citibank branches, said the bank’s U.S. retail and commercial banking chief, Cecilia Stewart, in recent interviews. “We’ll beat all our competitors in productivity and client satisfaction,” Ms. Stewart said, while revenue growth will make retail banking “much more profitable than precrisis.”

Iowa Police Seek Public’s Help In Armed Robbery Of $250 “Mega Masturbator” (The Smoking Gun)
In a bid to capture the armed robber who last month stole a $250 sex doll from an Iowa City adult store, police today released a surveillance photo showing the suspect making off with the item…Before releasing the store surveillance photo, cops pixelated it to obscure explicit images on the box of the “Fuck Me Silly #1” model “mega masturbator.” As previously reported, the stolen 20-pound sex doll is described by its manufacturer as “the most realistic piece of ass you ever fucked…Slap that big round ass and listen to the whack…it sounds and feels just like a real ass!” In return for information leading to the man’s arrest, Iowa City Area CrimeStoppers is offering an award of up to $1000.

66 comments (hidden to protect delicate sensibilities)
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Comments (66)

  1. Posted by Guest | February 8, 2012 at 7:45 AM

    I always knew Bernanke had more intelligence and leadership than anybody in Washington.

    Now I know he has more swag.

  2. Posted by Bandersnatch | February 8, 2012 at 7:48 AM

    You know how when you slap a woman's ass … it feels like… a bag of sand

  3. Posted by Wick | February 8, 2012 at 8:30 AM

    Bess – did you hear about the analyst from Greenwich who got jumped after work in NY? Apparently chased the guy down and put him in jail / the hospital. Analyst also ended up in the hospital. I'm seeing a trend, dont mess w Greenwich boys' money

  4. Posted by Guest | February 8, 2012 at 8:39 AM

    You're going to like the way you look…

    – Raspy-voiced Bearded Guy

  5. Posted by Inquisitive Soul | February 8, 2012 at 8:41 AM

    900 pounds of butterfingers = the egg mcmuffin of symbolic failures

  6. Posted by Guest | February 8, 2012 at 8:48 AM

    "You need to take on more risk.". I've heard that tune before, somewhere.

    -M.D. First Boston, circa 1987

  7. Posted by Jeff G | February 8, 2012 at 8:53 AM

    Collect call from Iowa City? Yes, I'll accept the charges.

  8. Posted by Rich Longman | February 8, 2012 at 8:59 AM

    no wick, that's just a product of your turgid little mind

  9. Posted by Corsine Capital | February 8, 2012 at 9:00 AM

    It's ususally a precursor to, "we are building a midsized investment bank"

  10. Posted by The Truth | February 8, 2012 at 9:13 AM

    "Two weeks Fielding, two weeks"

    Classic line from the Money Pit. Also, fully applicable to Eurotroikaclusterfuck's announcement re: Greece.

  11. Posted by Dr_Rosenrose | February 8, 2012 at 9:17 AM

    The economist from China is named Yuan?! That's like Bernanke running around referring to himself as 'Benny Dollabills'.

  12. Posted by HFguy | February 8, 2012 at 9:18 AM

    And quietly when no one is looking I will sprinkle my belly button magic dust and it will be 2006 again

  13. Posted by Alt_EST | February 8, 2012 at 9:19 AM

    Except Merkel's…it feels like…a bag of lard.

    -Silvio B.

  14. Posted by Guest | February 8, 2012 at 9:20 AM

    Signs of the Apocalypse #227: We've been reduced to quoting "The Money Pit".

  15. Posted by Headmaster | February 8, 2012 at 9:22 AM

    Gotta love when people still hold High School rivalries…

  16. Posted by Guest | February 8, 2012 at 9:26 AM

    True Story. Surprisingly badass for a good kid.

    Great Idea: ANALYST CHALLENGE. There has to be a way to play this one, any ideas?

  17. Posted by VonSloneker | February 8, 2012 at 9:30 AM

    A bit…

    – The Ghost of Johnny Cash

  18. Posted by Van Buren Boys | February 8, 2012 at 9:34 AM

    Those guys are pussies.

  19. Posted by bot quant | February 8, 2012 at 9:41 AM

    I'm all over this one!

    – dog the bounty hunter

  20. Posted by pazzo83 | February 8, 2012 at 9:53 AM

    Nonno, you're doing it wrong.

    – Alessandro

  21. Posted by Wire | February 8, 2012 at 10:07 AM

    Let me get this straight — making the Spanish take different days off other than the ones they want to take off, but still allowing them to take the same number of days off, will somehow increase economic output?

  22. Posted by Guest | February 8, 2012 at 10:14 AM

    Sick story. Wick, were you by chance said analyst?

  23. Posted by B. Hunter | February 8, 2012 at 10:19 AM

    Energy trades have to be leveraged to the max as well.

  24. Posted by Texashedge | February 8, 2012 at 10:26 AM

    Buttoning the suit, like a boss

  25. Posted by Guest | February 8, 2012 at 10:30 AM

    I see no problem with this.

    J. Meriwether.

  26. Posted by Guest | February 8, 2012 at 10:51 AM


  27. Posted by Link | February 8, 2012 at 11:13 AM

    no, it's wick

  28. Posted by lucas | February 8, 2012 at 11:47 AM

    I've been long panic buttons since the minute I saw DSK walking into the Sofitel.

  29. Posted by PermaGuestII | February 8, 2012 at 11:49 AM

    This is not 38, this is ol' 97: put 'er into Spencer on time.

  30. Posted by HungryIntern | February 8, 2012 at 12:15 PM

    When did paying a grand for a product that is only worth $250 become normal?

  31. Posted by Guestest | February 8, 2012 at 12:17 PM

    Puentes to nowhere indeed!

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  33. Posted by The New Normal | February 8, 2012 at 1:01 PM

    Clearly you don't work for the government

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