• 14 Feb 2012 at 12:46 PM

Presenting: Executive Bitches

By

For Valentine’s Day this year, Fortune put together a slideshow of various executives, analysts, fund managers, and disgraced AIG CEOs posing with their one true loves– their dogs. For the big names who missed the deadline to submit photos, fear not– this feature is clearly going to become an annual thing. For those already mentally directing a photoshoot of yourself and Jamie the Younger, maybe running down Park Ave or shooting hoops at the Garden, you might first consider looking to this year’s pioneering efforts for inspiration.


For instance, in addition to putting your love for each other on display, why not use the opportunity to showcase your credentials, as “Fortune All-Star Analyst” Mike Mayo does here?


Or, for those who would prefer not to defile their bond with garish self-promotion, something a little more subtle. Show potential investors what they have to look forward to if they invest with you and Jazz. Like a nice little place on the water.


…or perhaps a private island, perfect for alone time, just the two of you.


Or maybe drop the pretense and get personal.


REALLY personal. Say, “Screw it– it’s Valentine’s Day and this is the real me, with my dogs, and we love each other in a way you can’t possibly imagine.** Unashamed and unmuzzled. Bitch on bitch. And if anyone is wearing a dog collar, it’s me.”

An Executive’s Best Friend [Fortune]

**Though if you’ve seen Marley In Me you get the idea.

Comments (45)

  1. 1
    Posted by VonSloneker | February 14, 2012 at 1:05 PM

    Might be NSFW…but sure, I'll submit some pics

    - D. Kneale

  2. 2
    Posted by Enquiring Minds | February 14, 2012 at 1:11 PM

    Before or after furiously clicking through all the slides?

  3. 3
    Posted by bluehorseshoe | February 14, 2012 at 1:11 PM

    I hear ya Bess, I've watched 'Marley In Me' a few times while i was supposed to be working.

    -SEC analyst

  4. 4
    Posted by Guest | February 14, 2012 at 1:12 PM

    The Sperry Top-Siders say, "I'm a prep school kid at heart," being alone with your puppy on a hammock says, "83 was like my biggest summer for pussy."

  5. 5
    Posted by W. Houston | February 14, 2012 at 1:14 PM

    Might be NSFW? Yea, and I might have died from natural causes.

  6. 6
    Posted by Cut Me | February 14, 2012 at 1:14 PM

    "Marley In Me", Kneale?

  7. 7
    Posted by inlovewithpmco | February 14, 2012 at 1:16 PM

    Off topic but happy Valentines Day PMCO

  8. 8
    Posted by @Panic_Panic_ | February 14, 2012 at 1:17 PM

    Marley IN Me? Different than what I'm used to, but I'll bite.

    -Gundlach

    P.S. – I had no idea Mayo lives on UWS…

  9. 9
    Posted by 2_Small_2_Bail | February 14, 2012 at 1:17 PM

    Mayo…I fucked your bitch.

    -Kneale

  10. 10
    Posted by pazzo83 | February 14, 2012 at 1:19 PM

    This is fuckin bullshit.

    - Wilbur F.

  11. 11
    Posted by Where's Matt? | February 14, 2012 at 1:19 PM

    Any word on how choice in dog breed impacted share performance for the ones who were CEOs of public companies?

  12. 12
    Posted by Laxbro | February 14, 2012 at 1:22 PM

    If you want to bang a dude that pretends to be a chick so bad just start going to bars in the west village.

  13. 13
    Posted by pazzo83 | February 14, 2012 at 1:22 PM

    Just send'em on over, we'll make sure they get forwarded on…

    - Farmer, Altoona, Pennsylvania

  14. 14
    Posted by Self Cracker Upper | February 14, 2012 at 1:25 PM

    I heard Branson took his dog to a Flea Circus and he stole the show!

  15. 15
    Posted by Knealeclops | February 14, 2012 at 1:26 PM

    Good news is that the Westminster's TRO against me runs out this year. Bad news, my cut rate insurance does not cover gray market Cialis.

  16. 16
    Posted by early_hominid | February 14, 2012 at 1:37 PM

    Seamless segue from the Bloomberg-Gaga picture. Nicely done.

  17. 17
    Posted by Archie | February 14, 2012 at 1:40 PM

    He got a varsity jacket for that? Really?

  18. 18
    Posted by Harris-Tweed | February 14, 2012 at 1:47 PM

    No Golden Retrievers? What's next? Skinny jeans with crocodile loafers?

  19. 19
    Posted by guestapo | February 14, 2012 at 1:54 PM

    I know you got burned by the girlfriend in Canada who turned out to be a dude but, FYI, PMCO is a chick.

  20. 20
    Posted by FKApmco | February 14, 2012 at 2:12 PM

    Thanks, ILP, I find your wishes comforting in a creepy-stalker-Jesus-I-hope-he-doesn't-know-where-I-live kinda way.

  21. 21
    Posted by FKApmco | February 14, 2012 at 2:14 PM

    Bro, for the last time, I am a chick. Bess has confirmed that previously and if Matt would ever post a comment, he would confirm too.

  22. 22
    Posted by Guest | February 14, 2012 at 2:16 PM

    Pics of Bess confirming it or it didn't happen.

  23. 23
    Posted by Guest | February 14, 2012 at 2:18 PM

    Bottom picture, left to right: no, no, yes.

    - weimaraner furiously examining motives

  24. 24
    Posted by Im_a_Dude | February 14, 2012 at 2:22 PM

    yay for bess. what about the rest of us?

  25. 25
    Posted by Elliot Rosewater | February 14, 2012 at 2:22 PM

    We can expect new things from Whitney (she made a stunning gift to the 1988 Olympics with the ballad "One Moment in Time") but even if we didn't, she would remain the most exciting and orignal black jazz artist of her generation.

  26. 26
    Posted by Snoop Dogg | February 14, 2012 at 2:23 PM

    Fo Shizzle my nizzle

  27. 27
    Posted by FKApmco | February 14, 2012 at 2:29 PM

    Matt has the pics…does that explain a lot for you?

  28. 28
    Posted by VonSloneker | February 14, 2012 at 2:32 PM

    What about…never mind, you're probably right.*

    - Kenny G.

    * I'd quibble with her categorization as a jazz artist. More soul/pop/gospel…stretch to include R&B. Steely Dan has more jazz cred than, rest her soul, Whitney

  29. 29
    Posted by PermaGuestII | February 14, 2012 at 2:33 PM

    A Robert-Chambers-just-held-the-door-for-me way?

  30. 30
    Posted by FKApmco | February 14, 2012 at 2:41 PM

    More a Chris-Brown-said-he'd-never-hit-me-again kinda way.

  31. 31
    Posted by Miles | February 14, 2012 at 2:47 PM

    It's a guy sort of thing
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wpJNCO6Aj2Q

  32. 32
    Posted by Tseug | February 14, 2012 at 2:58 PM

    Fine. OK, then. CHARTS or it didn't happen. Happy?

  33. 33
    Posted by Real Alt-EST | February 14, 2012 at 3:02 PM

    As long as it's not a Phil-Hartman-failing-to-duck-out-of-the-way.

  34. 34
    Posted by MontaukSurfShop | February 14, 2012 at 3:19 PM

    Michael Dweck has the pics from Montauk that time…

  35. 35
    Posted by Drogba | February 14, 2012 at 3:48 PM

    Pls post the pics of Branson kiteboarding with the British Chiquita…….pretty pls?

  36. 36
    Posted by Guest | February 14, 2012 at 4:14 PM

    Great pic of Branson's self acclaimed game "Find the Peanut Butter"

  37. 37
    Posted by inlovewithpmco | February 14, 2012 at 4:30 PM

    seems to me for a lax bro, you know where all the lady boys hang. I am not judging

  38. 38
    Posted by inlovewithpmco | February 14, 2012 at 4:31 PM

    Ha

  39. 39
    Posted by R. Jeremy | February 14, 2012 at 6:52 PM

    Heyyyy, I'm great at doggystyle

  40. 40
    Posted by guest | February 14, 2012 at 8:43 PM

    That last caption = coke spit out all over my monitor.

  41. 41
    Posted by guest | February 14, 2012 at 8:44 PM

    agreed. twas pure poetry.

  42. 42
    Posted by Guest | February 14, 2012 at 8:55 PM

    Everyone knows west village is ground zero for dudes who listen to dubstep and smoke cock. And that dimes appreciate bros in button down shirts with whale logos. Common NYC knowledge.

  43. 43
    Posted by TheJokeBriefer | February 15, 2012 at 12:19 AM

    Liked it.

  44. 44
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  45. 45
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